Special thanks to Za, Maple, and Jejjick I really appreciate the help ya’ll gave me to make this story as good as it is
The 32nd support squadron, stationed at MacDill Air Force Base, is composed of men and women who specialize in fluffy control, containment, and transport.
They also manage fluffy bio hazard situations, the situations in question are those in which a fluffy dies, defecates, urinates, or all of those at once and more.
Today was a simpler day however, a resident on base housing had reported some stray fluffies that were wrecking her personal garden.
Two Airmen, SrA Flores and SSgt Jones are sent to handle the situation as well as a toughie fluffy, Falcon, the 32nd is unique in that it uses fluffies as other units would use K-9 units to assist with other duties. These fluffies were conceived after Hasbio and the U.S government came to a deal after the Cleveland disaster the thought process being that what better way to fight fluffies than with fluffies themselves.
“So Jones what’s the plan then?” SrA Flores was checking his equipment which consisted of a Sorry Stick, quick foldable cage, and snare rod.
“Simple, we go in check em for identification or chips, then we catch and release or euthanize based on disposition.”
Falcon, who had a light blue fur and a greyish mane, woke up from his nap to look outside the window of the vehicle.
“Sawgent, Fawcon wan tu hewp!!”
Flores pets the eager fluff with the creature wagging it’s tail happily, “Of course lil buddy we’ll let you lead and we’ll cover you, this should be a good first assignment for you.”
The fluffy beams a smile “Fawcon bestest toughie-fwiend!”
Soon they arrive at the address and meet with the homeowner, a middle aged woman.
“Oh thank god you’re here there’s two fluffies tearing up my garden please get them out as soon as possible!”
“Understood ma’am please if you could wait out front in the event there’s a biohazard situation, Flores take Falcon back there sort it out I’ll talk to the homeowner and start writing up the incident report.”
“Yes ma’am, come on Falcon let’s get moving.” Flores walks ahead of the fluffy and opens the gate to the back yard the fluff following behind. “Gud Bye Sawgent, Fawcon hewp nao!” The Sargent waves bye to the fluffy as they head in to the backyard.
As soon as they enter they spot two fluffies, “Seems to be two fluffs as reported seems to be males around adult age, well Falcon go do your thing I’ll be right behind you.”
Falcon smiles at his handler’s permission and rushes over to the strays, “Hey dummehs, nu num nice wadies gawden!” The fluffies, one of which was chewing on some flowers and the other defecating in a potted plant, stand stiff before staring at the toughie. "Dis am smawty wand nao! Smawties nu cawe, smawties wan fwowew nummies an housies!”
Falcon huffs and stomps his hooves, hooves that are much tougher than a normal fluffies hooves and approaches them. “Wast wawning, dis nu smawty wand. Smawties gu wit Fwowes-fwiend o smawties git sowwy-hoofsies!”
Flores takes out his sorry stick but stands back still ready to back up Falcon, “Dummeh fwuffy! Smawties gib foweba sweepies!” The smarties charge in.
Falcon stands on his hind legs and flails his front hooves catching one of the smarties right on the snout crumpling it like tissue paper, the other tackles Falcon down to his back but steps back seeing the condition of his friend.
“Huuuuuuu shmawty ab owwies! Shmew pwash huwties! Shmew pwash shmew wike boo boo-wawa.” The smarty tries to talk through a broken set of teeth and with great difficulty.
“Fwuffie munstah gib fwiend smew pwace huwties! Smawty gib wostest poopies!" The Smarty turns around and grunts, Falcon covers his eyes and face with his hooves like he’s been trained to do but luckily Flores steps in, smacking the smarty across the ass repeatedly.
The Smarty screams in pain as each strikes lands catching his special lumps and no-no stick, “REEEEEEEEEE!! NU GIB SPESHUW WUMPS SOWWY STICK!!!” It screams in pain as the airman continues to beat on the Smarty to make sure it’s compliant.
Soon the Smarty collapses as it takes a hit to the legs breaking both hind legs.
Its ass and special place bled heavily cut up by the repeated strikes by the airman.
“REEEE!! REEEE!! WEGGIES NU WUN NO MOWE!!! WUN WEGGIES, PWEASE WUN! HUUUUUUU HUUUUUUUU.”
It tries to run dragging itself by its front legs but due to the heft of the creature it can’t make it quite far before the airman sets up the collapsible boxes and collects the smarties.
He lifts the one with the broken hind legs by said legs eliciting a screech of pain and bad upsies from the pitiful creature, he places it in the box and locks it.
He then goes to collect the other one, who’s passed out long ago from the pain of it’s broken snout, and tosses it like trash into the box.
“You okay Falcon?” Flores asks the fluffy who’s now stood up by now and smiled but looked almost embarrassed.
“Fwuffy otay…” It looked away though Flores knew something was wrong as usually the creature would refer to itself by its name and well it wasn’t a good liar like all fluffies are.
He picks up the boxes, one arm wrapped around each box as he looks at the fluffy. “Falcon, you know I can always tell when you’re lying.”
Falcon shifts in place and speaks “Fawcon, nu deaw wit smawties awone. Fawcon awmost hab smawty-wostest poopies.” He looks down ashamed seemingly bothered by him needing to be saved. “Fawcon nu bestest toughie-fwiend…”
Flores sets down one of the boxes and playfully bops Falcon’s head. “Owie! Yu gib sowwy hoofies tu Fawcon?” He looks up at his handler confused a larger look of confusion stretches his face as he sees his handler smiling.
“Yeah I did give ya a sowwy hoofie for being dumb buddy, we’re a team. No man or Fluffy can do everything alone so don’t be too hard on yourself especially after your first assignment. Now come on we gotta get back to Jones and transport these guys to the incinerators. I’ll make sure to get you some sketties as a reward for your hard work today once we get back to the unit building.” He smiles as the fluffy immediately perks up at the word sketties almost ready to run circles but maintains his composure as he follows his handler back to the front yard as the still conscious smarty huuuuuu’s at his impending doom.
*Also sorry for having deleted this like three times I’ve been writing on mobile and kept accidentally posting it too early like a dumbass *
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