Victoria Harkness belongs to @BFM101
…
The Announcer was clearly on some kind of drug, but it improved his performance.
“WELCOME LADIES, GENTLEMAN, AND OTHER ASSORTED BASTARDS TO THE SIXTH ANNUAL PEGASUS FLUFFY FLY-OFF! WE ARE HERE TODAY TO WATCH HISTORY FAIL TO HAPPEN!”
He gestured towards the assembled contestants and their owners.
“TODAY WE GIVE THESE PEGASUS FLUFFIES THE CHANCE TO FLY! Or fall to their deaths. Either/or.”
“YAY! Wub fwying!”
“Wiww make yu su pwoud, Daddeh! Soon-mummah wiww fwy fow Daddeh and soon-babbehs!”
“Nu can waitsies, am su 'cited!”
“TOWA TOWA TOWA!”
“Smawty show aww dese dummehs hu da bestest fwiew am! Da skies am Smawty’s wand!”
“Bestest Babbeh gunna gu see Mummah and Daddeh in sky with Sky Daddeh!”
“Yu gunna watch Spwat fwy, Mummah?”
Victoria Harkness smiled indulgently at the pegasus in her arms as she gave her scritches.
“Yes, I will watch you the whole time, Splat.”
“Coo, wub scritches. Wub Mummah.”
“AND NOW TO INTRODUCE OUR CONTESTANTS!:”
The Announcer pointed out each contestant in turn.
“WE HAVE NFT, CRYPTOCURRENCY, HINDENBURG, KAMIKAZE, GASTON, THAT PLANE BUDDY HOLLY, RITCHIE VALENS, AND THE BIG BOPPER WERE ON, AND SPLAT!!!”
He stopped and took a big breath, then continued.
“THE JOKE IS ALL THE NAMES INDICATE THESE FLUFFIES WILL CRASH AND DIE HORRIBLY! FUCK YOU, I CAN EXPLAIN THE JOKE IF I WANT, I AM THE ANNOUNCER AND I AM ON TONS OF COCAINE!”
NFT was the first to go. The fluffy took a running (although since he was a fluffy it was more like a trotting) start, jumped off the ramp over the pit full of spikes…and fell in.
“SCREEEEEEE!!! BAD DOWNSIES! FWUFFY ONWY TOUGHT DEWE WEWE ‘BAD UPSIES,’ BUT NAO FWUFFY NO BETTEW! PWEASE SABE FWUFFY FWOM BAD DOWNSIES! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWP!!!-”
He was cut off by being impaled on the spikes.
The other pegasus fluffies saw that, then reacted.
“Fwuffy nu no if dis am gud idea, Daddeh. Nu wan cwash next!”
“Wut happen? Soon-mummah Hindenbuwg nu was wooking.”
“KAMIKAZE WIWW BWING HONOW TU EMPEWOW DADDEH!”
“Teehee, dat dummeh nu no onwy Smawty can fwy!”
“Eneftee am with Sky Daddeh nao. Say hai tu Bestest Babbeh’s pawents, Eneftee!”
“Coo, Spwat wubs Mummah su much.”
Next up was Cryptocurrency. He didn’t want to do it at first, but his owner promised threw a sketti-treat off the edge and he chased after it only to fall into the spiked pit.
“SHOUWD HABE NOWNE DIS WOUWD HAPPEN! CWYPTOCUWWNECY SHAWES ENEFTEE’S FATE!”
The other pegasus fluffies were either distracted or uncaring.
“Hindenbuwg am soon-mummah. Wiww habe bestest fwying babbehs an gibe huggies an wub!”
Kamikaze had tired themselves out and were napping.
Gaston was thinking to himself how many mares he’d get once they saw him flying.
That Plane Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, And The Big Bopper Were On was contemplating Skettiland.
Splat was making good poopies in the portable litterbox. Victoria flipped him off from behind.
Hindenburg enthusiastically trotted to the edge and jumped. She exploded in midair and foals rained down on the assembled crowd as her flaming remains impacted on the bottom of the pit.
Experts would later blame the explosion on the many flammable gasses inside her. And monkeys.
Kamikaze woke from their nap and started chanting praises to Emperor Daddeh.
“Nu wun’s swick as Gaston, nu wun’s qwik as Gaston, nu wun’s nu nu stick am as incwedibwy thick as Gaston’s! Fow dewe’s nu fwuffy awound hawf as stawwionwy! Pewfect, a puwe pawagon!”
“Dat Metaw Biwd Munstah Buddy Howwy, Witchie Vawens, And Da Biggest Sowwy-Hoofiew Wewe On Am Pwepawed tu gu see Fwuffy Saint Petew and Fwuffy Mummah and Daddeh in Skettiwand.”
“SPWAT GUNNA FWY! SPWAT GUNNA FWY! SPWAT GUNNA FWY!”
Kamikaze jumped, only to land in a pond instead of on the spikes.
“NU! WAWA BAD FOW FWUFFIES!”
He drowned.
“Bestest Smawty Gaston wiww show yu aww hao gweat Gaston is!”
“Bestest Babbeh am going tu Skettiwand soon.”
“Spwat wan gu soon!”
Gaston started trotting to jump, but then an eagle swooped down and snatched him up.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!!! BAD UPSIES!!! SABE GASTON!!!”
That Plane Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, And The Big Bopper Were On simply ran out and jumped.
Then it was Splat’s turn.
“Spwat gunna fwy and make Mummah su pwoud!”
Victoria gave him a little shove forwards and Splat ran to the edge. As he jumped the last thing he heard as he fell into the pit of spikes was Victoria yelling after him.
“I never loved you because you’re the worst fluffy!”
“Am wowst fwuffy? Huhuhu, Mummah nebah wubbed Spwat! WAN DIE WAN DIE WAN D-”
Splat was cut off by splatting onto the spikes. Victoria took a hit of cocaine.
The Announcer started up again.
“AND WITH YET ANOTHER YEAR WITH NO WINNERS WE BRING THIS MEETING TO A CLOSE!”