It was a well-known fact that fluffy ponies of the earthie, pegasus and unicorn varieties absolutely loathed the rarer and more valuable alicorn variety. Alicorn foals were killed after birth or outright rejected, treated as badly as runts. So, we decided to observe what would happen if we made an entire herd believe they had become alicorns.
We lured a herd of alicorns into our facility with spaghetti which we had laced with crushed sleeping pills. After the herd had eaten and fallen asleep, we got to work. We glued fake unicorn horns on the pegasi and fake pegasus wings on the unicorns. Any earthies among the herd were given wings and horns.
We took all the foals and put them in cages. We wanted to observe the behaviour of the adults.
As we stood behind the two-way mirror, we waited for the herd to wake up.
The first to awake was a pink mare with a green mane. As she woke up, she yawned and looked all around her. When she saw all of the ‘alicorns’ that slept around her, she froze, eyes going wide, and then…
“SCREEEEEEEEE!!! MUNSTAHS! MUNSTAHS!”
Her shriek woke up all of the fluffy ponies. When they heard her cry about monsters, they immediately looked around for them and spotted many fluffy ponies with horns and wings.
“SCREEEEE!!! MANY MUNSTAHS!”
“GO ‘WAY, MUNSTA!”
“GET FOWEBA SWEEPIES!”
We watched the frightened fluffies start to shit and piss themselves in fear. And then the stallions began attacking each other, stomping and biting, while screaming about, ‘Munstahs’ not realising they were attacking their own herdmates. The smarty, a red unicorn with a yellow mane kept yelling at all the fluffies, which made him a target as he was stomped to death before it became a free for all.
Some fluffy ponies did not participate in the carnage and tried to hide in the corner, covering their eyes with their hooves. One fluffy, seeing all the ‘alicorns’, actually suffered from a heart attack as it was scared to death.
The hooves and strength of fluffies really were not enough to do any damage to anything else, but to each other, they could break bones and crush skulls. The unicorns used their horns to their advantage as they stabbed the other fluffies.
It did not take very long before it was all over. After 15 minutes, most of the fluffies were dead. The ones that survived were a few traumatised mares.
REPORT
The fear that fluffy ponies have towards their alicorn kin can cause a severe reaction of hatred and violence from these creatures. Upon seeing other alicorns, the males quickly turned aggressive and began attacking each other. Some mares did not involve themselves in the fight as they were too frightened, hiding in the corner just to avoid seeing the violence themselves. In the end, all the stallions were killed and the only survivors were a few mares who had not died from fear. We immediately sedated them and went to remove their fake horns and wings.
The foals were returned to their mothers. However, we decided to keep them in the lab for further studies. The orphaned foals, however, were euthanised.
Overall, this study on fluffy pony behaviour has been both enlightening and disturbing. To think, these ‘biotoys’ that were designed to love unconditionally could possess such hatred for alicorns simply because their rudimentary minds could not accept the existence of a fluffy pony that possessed both wings and horns.