Chopper woke to the wonderful smell of the cool, misty, air of the early evening. Her enhanced senses drawing out to cut through the creeping darkness that had settled over the yard as the sun went down.
She stretched her body out of the fluff pile with her brood mates and walked into the caged in lot that extended out from their small house.
She briefly trotted around the yard, letting her muscles fire and wake her up from a long sleep, until she felt the twist in the pit of her stomach and wandered over to the small metal plate where they went to the bathroom.
After relieving herself, she turned and pressed a green button on the wall, causing the small pile of poo and other leavings to drop into the hole and a small stream of pressurized water clean the plate before returning it to a sitting platform.
She paused, feeling as though she had missed something, before slowly tilting her eyes to the side and taking in the sight of the digital clock her owner had put up on the wall.
Her spiral eyes widened and a smile tore across her face as the excitement of what day it was washed over her. She ran to the fluff pile and started thumping the two sleeping creatures with her hooves.
âWaKe uPsIeS sPeShAw FwIeNdS! WAKE UPSIES!â
Spike rolled awake and sprang to his feet, accidentally kicking Twitch awake with his hooves he sprang to attention, his mottled green fluff bristling in anticipation, his blue spiraled eyes scanning the pen and his horn bared to strike against whatever Chopper was rousing him to fight.
âWHA, WHA HAPPEN?! AM UNDA ATTACK?!â
Twitch rolled fully over onto his back like a fluffy black beachball dotted in lime, blood and cyan colored paint being idly kicked by his broodmate, until the earth flipped back over onto his belly and turned to face Chopper with his lime eyes looking around in all directions.
âHMMM?!â
Chopper grasped Spikes head in between her hooves and shook him about, all the while exclaiming;
âIT AM FWIDAY SPIKE! IT AM FWIDAY!â
She turned her attention to Twitch and grabbed his front hooves doing a little dance with the earthy, wings flapping excitedly as she did so. Twitch simply smiled and danced with his special friend, trying his best to match her excitement.
âFWIDAY TWITCH! IT AM DA BEST DAY OF DA WEEK!â
Spikes eyes widened as he turned his head to face the clock to confirm it for himself, there was no way a week could have gone by already. Once he confirmed the date, he turned his head to Twitch who was pondering over the clock.
Twitches eyes blinked left to right, then back right to left as he regarded the clock, eventually sitting on his haunches, crossing his front hooves and scratching his chin he tried to connect the dots in his damaged mind of why today was so important.
âDu yu tink we ne-â
âWait fow itâŚâ
As though flicking on a light switch, Twitch remembered what made Fridays so exciting and he started bouncing around like a baby deer while making unintelligible noises and occasionally spinning in place.
Chopper joined him in his happy dance, Spike simply looked on at his special friends and put a hoof to the bridge of his nose while shaking his head.
The next few minutes were a flurry of activity as the three cannibals readied themselves for âthe bestest dayâ of the week, in each their own way. Spike and Twitch went to the bathroom and all three of them lined up and waited by the gate to the front drive.
As the minutes passed, a thought occurred to Spike. He scanned the yard with eyes, finding nothing, and turned his nose to the air searching for the telltale smells of a car sitting on the lot. He found only the faint scent of car exhaust from many hours past.
âOh nuâŚâ
Chopper looked to Spike sensing the distress in her special friendâs distress. Twitch looked crooked over to him, letting out a curious coos at the unicornâs obvious distress.
âWah am wong Spike?â
âChoppew⌠Choppew see mastew Awthuw tuday? Spike nu can smeww him⌠he am suppowsed tu be heweâŚâ
Chopper scanned the house and the surrounding lot, here eyes slowly widening as she noticed the absence of lights in the houseâs turret where Arthurâs lab was and the distinct absence of the loud red car that he drove around in.
ââŚSHIT!â
Chopper braced herself against the ground before shooting up into the air, beating her wings in order to fly herself up to the second story window of the turret. She clattered onto the windowsill and pressed herself up to the glass.
She saw nothing. No human, no light. Nothing but the few bits of lab equipment the exuded their pale green and orange lights from computers and other lab machines running in idle state.
Chopper flew down from the windowsill to meet the other two waiting fluffies on the ground, shaking her head as she did so.
âHeâs not heweâŚâ
Spike shook his head while Twitch let out some anxious noises and fidgeted in place, slowly realizing what had happened.
âUnca Duncan nu gon be happy bout disâŚâ
-=-
It was less than twenty minutes before what the cannibals were waiting for finally crested over, he hills leading to the half acre where their home was.
A white van with the words âWyatt Pest Control Servicesâ painted on the side rounded the corner at the bottom of the hill and drove up the hill until it pulled up the small hill near the foot of the property.
As it did so, an electronic buzzer sounded and the small metal gate enclosing the cannibals pen slowly slid open, allowing the three to exit their enclosure.
Chopper took the lead, trotting up to the side of the van as it parked with its back facing the temporary pen that was set up to hold all of the âlive capturesâ from the weeks trapping.
As Duncan opened the door to the van, he stepped out to see the three cannibals waiting patiently for him as he did so, cracking a grin as he saw the happiness in their spiral eyes.
âWewcome home, Unca Duncan!â
âWewcome home, Unca Duncan!â
âHaa⌠Haa⌠KaffâŚâ
He smiled as he exited the van and knet down to their level to give each of them a pat on the head, taking extra care not to cut his hand on Spikes horn.
âHow you doin ya little creepers?â
The three cannibals snuggled in close, getting as much affection as they could before their human âuncleâ stood up and shooed them away from the van so his puffy griffin Violet could jump out. He leaned in and grabbed three Styrofoam containers from the console.
âYou guys hungry?â
Choppers eyes widened as her enhanced senses took in the smell of lightly sear fluffy meat, butter and seasoned vegetables; she started to visibly salivate.
âYus! Yus pwease Unca Duncan! Choppew vewy hungwy!â
âHaaff!â
Duncan popped the lids on the two containers, exposing the two undercooked fluffy steaks and piles of mixed vegetables and plopped them on the ground in front of Chopper and Twitch, who proceeded to rip into the meat before them like absolute savages.
He looked over to Spike and popped open the final container, the only one marked with sharpie on the outside, and placed the sauce covered cutlet down in front of the little green unicorn.
âExtra sauce buddy, just the way you like it.â
âTank yu Unca Duncan.â
Duncan dusted off his coat, pulling out his phone and tapping a button on his daily stats screen. After a few moments, a metal rasping sound emitted from one of the upper windows on the old house.
Within a few moments a small flock of about buzzing mechanical drones flew out each one carried a small hose like contraption linked to a single milk jug sized bottle of cleaning fluid, a mechanical arm and dispensers linked to a number of cans of no name brand tinned spaghetti.
They buzzed idly above the front yard for a few moments before a green light flashed to the die of the droneâs camera like eye and each one took off in a different direction, flying toward the Hartwood Forest.
âWell, thatâs one last chore off of the docket.â
Duncan turned his attention back to the task at hand, quickly scanning the yard for his brother, finding nothing and turning to shout toward the house.
âAyo, Arthur! Câmon, lets get this over with! Come take your pick, so I can call the shelter for the rest!â
He waited for a moment, before leaning over to look in the garage for his brotherâs car. After another moment of quiet, he shouted again. The cannibals shared an uneasy look out of Duncan immediate sight.
âARTHUR! HURRY THE FUCK UP MAN, IM DO-â
Almost on queue, a tiny camera drone buzzed up from the roof of the old woodhouse and flew over to idle in front of Duncan. After a moment of buzzing, the drone began playing a pre-recorded message in Arthurâs voice.
âCanât help with the sorting tonight, Iâm going to be delivering a lecture at the University of Toronto on bio-sculpting tomorrow, and you know how flights are.â
âDonât bother sorting them, just send them all to the condenser, I could use the extra bio-gel.â
With a light beep, the recording switched off and the drone buzzed away to find a charging port. Duncan stood there in silence, slowly clenching his fist into a tight ball. Chopper looked up from her meal sensing Duncanâs rising frustration.
âUnca Duncan?â
ââŚJustâŚSend them all?â
âAwe⌠Awe yu otay?â
Duncan took a breath, releasing it as a slow frustrated hiss of air, he stroked his temples and felt a headache coming on. This was the third week in a row that his brother had flaked on him for something âmore importantâ than this.
He didnât like fluffies at the best of times, present company excluded, and he sure as hell didnât want to spend the next four hours sorting through them just so his brother could skip out on something he considered beneath him.
Duncan felt a tug on his right pants leg, and a light pressure on the other. He looked down to see Chopper looking up at him with sad eyes and Violet sitting him with a concerned look in hers.
âMastew Awthuw nu hewp Unca Duncan gain?â
âYeah⌠yeah, uh⌠he had⌠other things to doâŚâ
âVaterâŚâ
Chopper and Violet looked to each other with a knowing glance. This wasnât the first time this had happened, and it wouldnât be the last time either. It was Chopper who spoke first out other the two of them.
âChoppew and Viowet hab pwan fow dis.â
âYou have a what?â
âChopper and I came up with a plan in case this happened again. We can use the âinfiltratorsâ to police bad behavior overnight, I will handle the scanning and sorting manually.â
âAnd wake up to a pen full of fluffy corpses? No thanks, Iâll just have toâŚâ
âChoppew pwomise tu be gud! Choppew onwy num bad fwuffies!â
âVater⌠You can trust us. Have Chopper or I ever willingly broken our words to you when we gave them?â
Duncan looked at the two creatures, struck by the earnestness he saw in their eyes. They had a point though, even though Chopper was one of his brothers âcreationsâ she never broke her word to him⌠unless Arthur forced her to.
âYou would have to stay up all night jus-â
âChoppew an hewd hab big napsies tuday! It am otay!â
âUnd I am nocturnal anyway.â
Duncan looked down at Violet and Chopper, taking a long breath before speaking.
âAlright⌠alright, youâve twisted my arm.â
The two creatures exchanged happy looks between each other before Duncan raised his hands to hold them up.
âBut we do this MY way, and I will have your words on that!â
The three cannibals lined up in front of him, sitting dwarfed beside his puffy griffin and looking to him to set the parameters for this mission.
âViolet, you are on overseer duty, given that you asked. I only want fluffys that display signs of smarty aggression, behavioral defects or negative mutations going to the condenser.â
âRight, Vater.â
âSince my brother isnât here to humanely put them down before they go in, I am trusting you four to do it in his place. HUMANELY.â
âChopper and Twitch, you two are on heard wrangling duty, since you have the most experience in that department⌠technically.â
âYu can cownt on us, Unca Duncan!â
Twitch says nothing in the affirmative, but his spiral eyes straiten and he gives a curt nod.
âFinally, SpikeâŚâ Duncan said looking down at the green unicorn. âI have a very⌠particular job for you.â
-=-
The next few minutes are a flurry of activity as Duncan, Violet and the cannibals ran into and out of the house. Setting up feeders with discount fluffy kibble, milk feeders for smaller foals, a shallow fountain and even a spaghetti dispenser keyed to be used only by the four approved bio-forms.
They padded the outside of the pen in areas with old blankets they inherited with the house and never used, and even raided the storage shed for old toys and other amusements to help them pass the time.
It takes near a half hour of hard work, but as Duncan looks out on the mighty impressive pen, heâs built he canât help but nod with a bit of satisfaction.
âMaybe I am in the wrong professionâŚâ
Shaking that though from his mind, he looked out at his companions and gave them the thumbs up.
âYou all ready?â
âReady!â
âReady!â
âBeriet!â
âKaff!â
Duncan pressed the auto deploy for the ramp on his van and quickly stepped in through the side door, shutting it behind him just in time to cut off the cacophony of fluffy noises that emitted from the back of his van.
He watched a technicolor nightmare of waddling creatures clumsily stampede out into the pen and turned away to key through the entryway door and get into his house.
The moment he entered he heard the sound of the houses automated systems flare up and begin operating the central heat, as well as the telltale sound of hot chocolate being brewed in the automated coffee machine on the counter.
He pulled off his coat, the weapons he carried for active disposals and the gray leather hat with the massive maroon feather in the brim he always wore as part of his âexterminator suitâ off and dropped them on the counter.
He looked out the kitchen window at the four bio-f⌠His companions, and cracked a smile.
âGood job⌠you little creepers!â