The Cecotropic Diet (the way to make your fluffy eat poo for health and well-being)
Fluffies and rabbits have more in common than their nasal senses.
They’re as vulnerable, breed in numbers, soft fur, certain foods you wouldn’t expect are harmful to them.
And something else that’s pretty disgusting, but as it turns out, necessary.
Did you know rabbits have two kinds of faeces, a regular kind and one specifically for eating.
Why do they do this?
Because their digestive system doesn’t process the nutrients fully. Sounds familiar?
Well fluffies only have one type of crap (despite whether it’s good or bad or sorry).
That crap is very high in nutrients and is often used for manure.
The enzyme in fluffies digestive tract (which explains their stink) doesn’t digest their food properly.
And considering there’s not many types of food they can digest well, they eat more often.
But what if there was another method?
a diet that would hit all of your fluffies dietary needs?
Heidi, by trade, was an influencer.
She used to be a fairly successful model (catalogues) and she was a known fitness fanatic.
She loved to keep in shape.
She also had a pretty horrific diet.
She just couldn’t eat healthily.
And she followed the fad diets to keep her weight down.
She was at one point following paleo, keto, fruit only, gluten free, vegan, carnivore etc the list went on.
She never stuck to any and her only tried and trusted way of staying thin was the old finger down the throat trick.
She also loved fluffies. Loved the little guys and their cheery faces and their cuteness.
But they never lasted long.
Why was this?
Well, you’ve heard me talking about her dietary choices right?
She used to take pictures of fluffies eating all kinds of food for her ‘gram.
Her fluffies were indulged, leftovers from her diets were often used for photo opportunities.
Her fluffies were often seen not only eating spaghetti, they were also seen eating sushi, kale, sourdoughs, açai bowls, melted chocolates, blue cheeses etc etc
Fluffies are only treated with certain sorts of food for a reason and are often kept on a strict diet of kibble or soylent puree.
A lot of food can kill them or cause digestive stress and gastric bloat, especially the Sketties that they so love.
But Heidi didn’t want to be seen using low grade kibble.
All kibble is treated as low grade to consumers, something you get in large bags and is always “cheap”.
Heidi had went through a lot of fluffies due to their very poor diets. Influenced by her own of course.
When asked whatever happened to the last fluffy, her stock answer of choice was, “they’re fluffies lol”.
Unfortunately, after a while the Hugboxers who formed a sizable part of her fan base were getting wise to her.
They, whispered, believed she was an abuser.
Something that went against her carefully crafted image of a new age fitness and well-being goddess.
She was a beacon of positivity! How could she be one of those filthy abusers?!
This would also make a lot of her sponsors nervous and pull the plug, not good for someone who’s sole income is from them and not her fans.
She needed a new fluffy now and it was time to go and get one. 4 fluffies in a year?! Maybe a more reputable and expensive fluffy is best….
She went down to the breeders and picked up a fine Pegasus fluffy.
She named her Winifred and she had a beautiful white fur coat and turquoise mane.
Close to a celestia type you could say.
She’d asked the main breeder about what sort of diet she should be feeding her Winifred but the asshole gave her a long and boring lecture.
Most of this advice Heidi ignored and cut short, she was due at the gym for her photo shoot and to promote some sort of cheap protein shake made with fluffy milk.
She would get all her answers from google.
“Search Fluffy Diet: what is the best?”
Search
What’s this?
The Cecotropic Method? Dr Shideeta?
Sounds interesting.
Click
The Cecotropic Method is a diet designed to optimise the well-being of your fluffy and to ensure they’re getting the vital nutrients they need. As you all know, fluffies digestion leaves a lot to be desired and more often, whatever they eat gets defecated out as quick failing to absorb the nutrients they need
So that’s why my fluffies keep dying. Well Winifred, you’re going to get the best of the best and my subscribers can go fuck off thinking I’m an abuser.
What shit
the secret to the Cecetropic diet? It’s so, so easy you’d wish you’d have heard it sooner. The secret is at first to feed your fluffy their kibble as normal with some light salads of course. Anything leafy or lettucey. No spinach, that’s the big one
Fine………I’ll just have to feed her some kibble. I’ll get Alec to get it, no way am I being seen with it.
Is that it?
the second step is to explain why we call this the Cecetropic Method. After all that you’ve fed your fluffy. Feed them their droppings. At least once a day up to each time they feed.
Droppings…….
you mean……….their chode, their shit!
No! Fucking! Way!!
No way would that ever look good online.
Only to an abuser, fuck no!!
you might dismiss this idea, it’s their droppings! How foul and filthy! But what if I told you that fluffy manure is so high in nutritional value? That it’s often used to grow the largest and finest crops, flowers. Imagine all of those nutrients in your fluffy instead. They don’t digest food properly on the first meal, once they’ve eaten it, that foul enzyme doesn’t extract nutrients properly. But when they eat their droppings, they’re able to absorb more nutrients
Okay dude, Dr Shideeta. Whatever
these nutrients lead to a far happier, joyful fluffy. One who’s belly is always full, content, healthier fur and bodily functions. You’ll notice not only the physical differences, but the mental too!! This diet will make your fluffy sharper on the uptake
Reading this, I’m basically making my fluffy a litterpal for itself.
please remember that your fluffy must have regular food FIRST, and then they must eat their droppings for the diet to work. You’ve seen poopie fluffies and litter pals? They often die because of a strict diet of poopie. The longevity of a litterpal and a poopie fluffy is often improved upon by introducing regular food into their diet with the droppings. Studies have revealed that fluffies that get this diet live longer and that-
Heidi had read enough.
Truly fucking wordy.
That took more time than it should have.
Feed fluffy kibble, then make it eat it’s shit. Simples.
Heidi had brought Winifred back after her photo shoot and promo at the gym.
Winifred had been left in the car in her cardboard box.
She had been left alone for hours whilst Heidi was “training and flexing”.
She was overjoyed to see her new mummy again at long last.
She let out happy tears and asked when she could have her nummies as she was hungry and scared.
“You can have some food when we get home Winnie dear”
“Tank oo nice mummeh Winnie wub nyu name and wub nummies and-*
Winifred blathered on and on until Heidi pulled up to her driveway (thankfully her AirPods were in her ears).
Winifred looked at the house in front of her.
Grassy play area?!
Toysies!!
Heidi opened the door, Winifred was overwhelmed by what she saw in the house.
Big TeeBee for FwuffyTeeBee!!
Bwankies and beanybaggies!!!
More toysies!!! Wittabawks and nummies bowl?!
Winifred was so happy she began to do a fluffy dance, she sat on her hind and let her front hooves do a twirl.
Heidi put on her very happy face, and gave Winifred Huggies.
She thankfully had a camera set up to put this up online later on.
Views and likes guaranteed.
Who would think she’s a fucking abuser now?!
Heidi had got the place straightened up, she left the fluffy room well alone, though fluffies thrive in tidiness, they’re not tidy at all and it’s not like they’d appreciate the effort made.
Heidi began to check out more about this miracle fluffy diet.
start the diet as soon as possible. And remember, PERSIST. Your fluffy will not take well to the diet at first but persisting will mean that the more your fluffy eats it’s droppings, the less trouble there’ll be for the next time.
Heidi spoke that word to herself, “persist”.
She’d done a lot of that to get where she was.
Not ideal to start right now but the diet can’t be wrong right?
It didn’t take long for Winifred to have a shit.
Within hours of her settling in.
Good poopies too.
She was trained to know where the litter box was, Heidi was thankful for that. She hated training litterbox use and she hated cleaning the mess if there was a mistake.
The smell was a problem though, and Heidi nearly vomited once she opened the door to the fluffy’s room.
She’d never once gotten used to that disgusting stink.
How could a creature as adorable as a fluffy make shit smell that bad?!
This was exactly why she went through a lot of perfume.
start the diet as soon as possible
I will Dr Shiteater, give me time.
persist
“Hey Winnie, how did you enjoy your nummies and toys?”
“Yes mummeh, Winnie did tank oo”
“Do you like your new home Winnie?”
“Yes Winnie wub nyu howsies and woomie”
“I’m so happy you like it!! Now Winnie, while you’re here with me. You can have all the nice nummies and toysies you can want”
“Yay tank oo mummeh”
“Do you know what mommy does for a living?”
The fluffy looked confused. Do for a living? All fluffies have no concept of what employment is.
“…nuu mummeh”
“Well mummy is a …model and she helps companies sell things. Mummy has to look her very best all the time. And guess what? You’ll be in my pictures too!!”
“Weawwy mummeh!!! Wow tank oo mummeh!!”
(Winifred was confused but still happy to be part of her mummy’s life. She thought it was a game).
“Now Winnie, if you’re going to be part of my pictures I need you to look at your prettiest and your bestest too. I’m going to give you the nicest nummies to make you happy. But you’re going to have to nummie something else for me…”
“Whut dat mummeh?”
“Your poopies. I want you to num your Poo”
Winnie looked back in horror, her mouth open from disbelief.
“But mummeh, dey nu smeww pwetty dey poopies”
“They are poopies, Winnie. And you’re still going to eat them.”
“…but mummeh” (Winnie became tearful)
“But nothing!!! You’ll eat your poo and like it Winnie!! Do you like those nice nummies? Do you like your new toys and houses?!! Well if you don’t eat it!!! You’ll go back to the fucking shop!! Eat it or else!!”
Winnie began to cry even more. Fluffies are for love, play and Huggies and eat nummies.
Fluffies don’t nummie their poopies
“Huhuhuhuhuhu Otay mummeh Winnie wi nummie poopies”
Heidi picked up the shit from the litter with a scoop, she could feel herself gag from the stink, but she had to show the fluffy that she had to eat it.
The shit was dumped into Winnie’s food bowl.
The fluffy looked ill herself.
It was a lot of crap to say the least, near tipping over the food bowl.
persist
“Now eat your poo Winnie”
The fluffy began to eat her scat, she ate it slowly and tears began to stream down her eyes.
She was chewing.
And chewing.
Poo could be seen dribbling out a little.
She swallowed.
She took more bites and more tears flowed down.
Her mouth became more stained from eating the poo sloppily.
Her white coat was now becoming messy from the crap, particularly her mouth.
Fluffies are notoriously sloppy eaters.
Winnie then vomited back up the crap.
“Nuu mo pwee mummah nu wike poopies”
Heidi heard the voice in her head
persist
“Eat your poopies that you’ve been sick up now or i’ll boot you out onto the street with the dirty ferals. Do you want to be a dirty feral Winnie?!”
The fluffy looked at her fecal vomit. It made her so sick and made her tummy so hurties.
“Nuuu mummeh”
“Then eat it!!!”
Winnie had licked up her faecal vomit and then went back to the bowl to finish off the rest of the poo.
Winnie had been crying the whole time, poo now covered all of her mouth and the front of her fur.
“Huhuhuhuhuhu Nuu smeww pwetty nao huuuuuu”
“Now that wasn’t hard now was it Winnie? You’re a good fluffy! Well done!! Mummy is so happy with you. Now you can stay here and play and have the nicest nummies!!”
The fluffy looked up and snivelled, she could still taste the poopies in her mouth.
“…Tank oo so much mummeh”
“But remember.! You’ve still got to eat your poo!! You’re going to eat them after your meals! If you don’t you’re out of here!! Understand Winnie?”
“…Yes mummeh”
“Good fluffy, now mummy needs to post her pictures online and make some money for nice things. And when mummy gets nice things, My Winnie will get her Sketties!”
Winnie brightened up as soon as she heard the S word
“Yaaaay Sketties!!! Tank oo so much mummah”
“Remember though, I need my Winnie to eat her poopies to be a good fluffy and when Winnie is a good fluffy, mummy gets her nice things!! Isn’t that so nice?”
“Yes mummeh Winnie wub oo”
“I love you too Winnie”
Heidi closed the door, Winnie had started to do a dance and happy song.
She would’ve loved to have caught that and posted online.
But Winnie was practically covered in crap and dirty fluffies were a no-no.
“How the fuck am I going to clean her?”