the easiest way to wipe a herd [somelurker]

as to not burn myself out too quickly, i’ve decided my series with this herd will be updated in non-chronological order whenever i get the motivation to write. this one is set some time before this! hope yall enjoy!!

. . .

it starts when lilac hears something thumping. his ears twitch, still half asleep, before a louder one jolts him awake. his brown eyes dart around before landing upward; though it isn’t clear, there’s very faint mumbling. “wh…”

then he jumps to his hooves. without thinking, he rushes out into the main area of the herd’s residence, yelling, “sawbadow! any fwuffy! dewe am inbadews outside!

from his spot next to minty, slate grumbles, “wiwac, fow da wast time, bad dweamies nu am weaw.”

lilac’s blue fur bristles as he runs to grab the alicorn. “nu am bad dweamie! wiwac heawd dem!” poking his head in the narrow tunnel leading to salvador’s sleeping area, “sawbadow! pwease wake up!”

minty’s babies begin to cry at the noise, the mare herself curling them quickly against her belly. “wiwac, pwease, ‘ouw scawing da babbehs! oh, it am otay, babbehs, nu am bad…”

“sawb-” the unicorn’s head abruptly snaps back as the salvador herself carefully steps out and drops something onto the ground. “dewe am-”

“sawbadow heawd wiwac,” she cuts off, taking a moment to pat his broken horn as if to reassure him. “sawbadow wiww wook outside. swate, ‘ou keep ebewybody safe in hewe.”

minty’s eyes lower to the thing she dropped. it’s a giant curled leaf, pink flowers dug up by the roots laying on it. “am dat da fwowa nummies ‘ou towd us tu nebah touch?”

“yes. dey wiww sabe us hewe.” with that, she covers the flowers back up and grabs the leaf with her mouth, careful to not bite into what’s inside. “wait hewe.”

with that, she makes her way outside. she can hear lilac’s hooves tapping from behind her, no doubt anxious while mime and funky’s voices are heard. she pays it no mind, pushing through the tunnel before she’s met with the bright, clear sky… and a dirty red stallion right in her face. next to him is what she presumes is a toughie, along with a group of other fluffies she can’t count from here crowding behind them.

“weww, wook hewe, hewd,” he snickers, “da mawe gabe where she am wibbing without us eben habing tu twy. nao mobe.”

she sits and stares.

“am mawe dummeh? mobe ow get wowstest huwties,” he growls, the toughie stepping a bit closer. “smawty need nyu enfie mawe anyway.”

slowly, salvador dips her head down to lay the leaf between her hooves, far enough that the smarty won’t be able to take it. the flowers splay out, and his attention is instantly drawn to them. “sawbadow wiww wet ‘ou and ‘ouw hewd hab dese nummies an da hewd gwounds if ‘ou answew one questun.”

the toughie gives the smarty a side glance as if asking what to do. the smarty himself huffs, clearly bemused. “‘ou am wucky smawty am feewing fowgibing. nao wat is it, dummeh?”

“dis am fow aww of ‘ou, not just ‘ou, smawty,” she clarifies. the smarty’s eyes narrow at that. “nao, wat do ‘ou tink of hoomins?”

a few seconds of silence as the other herd processes that. most of them look confused before one cries out, “oh, mummah hab hoomin daddeh! mummah miss him suu much…”

with that, a barrage of responses begin to ring out. salvador just listens quietly:

“bawwy wan hoomin daddeh tuu!”

“huu, dawwing wan mummah…”

“hmph! wock nu need dummeh hoomins! onwy enfies!”

“wabendew nu wike hoomin daddeh! scawy!”

“uhh… buwgew nu wemembah daddeh. onwy wemembah hewd.”

“toughie nu need hoomin mummah ow daddeh.”

“wat kind ob question am dat? whateba. smawty nu need hoomins eithew, aww dey do am stop smawty fwom having fun. nao gib the nummies!” the smarty takes a step forward.

“vewy weww den.” salvador moves to the side, leaving the flowers in plain sight for taking. “gu ahead.”

the smarty immediately bolts, grabbing one by the stem as the rest rush over. ”nu wowwy babbehs, mummah wiww hab miwkies soon!” one mare cheers as a stallion pushes a flower bud her way. salvador just sits and watches while they clear the leaf in minutes, the smarty licking his lips. slowly, silently, she shuffles her way back in front of her herd’s home’s entrance.

“dat nu am enuf nummies, dummeh,” the smarty complains, making his way back over to her. “nao wet smawty and hewd i- hrkk!”

he’s cut off by blood suddenly flying out his mouth and onto salvador’s front hooves. he closes his mouth, cheeks puffing up as he stumbles back. “wha- ack! nu feew guud!”

he turns around, “hhewd,” he forces out, “hewp smaw-”

he stops as he lays his eyes upon them. the mares are choking, blood and foaming saliva rising from their gaping maws as they spasm around. his toughie rushes around to check on them only to collapse onto his front hooves, crying out, “nu! weggies nu wowk! wai feew funny?!”

one of the other stallions turns to run, “sowwy speciaw fwen! nu wan gu foweb- eeck!” more blood splatters on the grass, and he jabs at his face with his hooves feverishly as if to stop it. he hasn’t noticed the way his special friend has already gone still, eyes bulging.

“‘ou -” the smarty whips around back to salvador, whose face gives away no emotion as she watches. “‘ou munstah! nummies am making hewd gu foweba sweepies! hatchu! hatchu!”

she barely reacts as he rises shakily to his back legs, front raised to crush down on her. she doesn’t try to move, doesn’t try to run back into the tunnel. the smarty wobbles around before just toppling backwards onto his back like she expected, legs flailing weakly while liquid waste runs down from his rear to his tail and onto the grass.

he lets out one last wet gurgle and cough before finally going still. she looks past him to the rest: nobody left alive, as far as she can tell, besides the three chirping foals next to the mare that promised them milk.

the entire ordeal took less than two minutes.

she walks away from the smarty to properly survey the damage, now able to get a good count: two stallions for the smarty and toughie respectively. three other stallions, and two mares - one with babies and another too fat to not be pregnant. if she had to guess, she’d say the stallion that made the “enfies” remark earlier was the one left without a special friend. and of course, there the foals lay, crying for their mother, unaware of what just happened.

there isn’t a point to killing them just yet if she can work with them. she walks over and reaches down to grab one when she hears crying from another direction. she looks around for a moment before she notices a brown bundle of fur shaking from behind a tree.

“weww, hewwo,” she says casually as she walks up to them. “wewe ‘ou pawt ob dat hewd?”

they jump, hiding farther out of sight and whining. “ah, ‘ou saw dad, didn’t ‘ou?” salvador asks, already knowing the answer. “nu wowwy. dey were mean tu ‘ou, wewen’t dey? ou am bwown, an dey wook tuu cwean fow fewaws.”

the other fluffy slowly peeks over. “…h-how did ‘ou kno dat?”

“sawbadow hab seen many hewds,” she responds. “nao come out. sawbadow nu wiww huwt ‘ou, poow fwuffy.”

a pause. they slowly stop out from behind the tree, legs shaking so hard she’s surprised they don’t fall over. they pointedly ignore the bodies on the ground nearby, and it’s now that the alicorn notices the breasts between her legs, the twisted wings on her back with bruises and bite marks. poor fluffy indeed, she thinks.

“wat -” a sob. the brown mare struggles to hold back tears. “w-wat do ‘ou wan fwuffy tu du?”

“‘ou nebah answewed sawbadow’s questun,” she points out. “wat do ‘ou tink of hoomins?”

the brown mare pauses. sitting down, she looks down at her hooves. “h-h-hoomins… hoomins gabe fwuffy biggest huwties and weft hew tu gu foweba sweepies. but fwuffy nu wan gu foweba sweepies, nu wan hab saddies ow owwies.”

salvador looks her over once more. “den ‘ou wiww du fine.”


“‘ou wiww du fine,” salvador repeats, returning to the abandoned foals. “nu fwuffy in sawbadow’s hewd wiww gib owwies ow heawt huwties tu ‘ou, fwuffy. nao hewp grab dese foaws?”

the other fluffy looks confused, but rushes over at the command, stepping carefully over the blood and excrement soaking the ground. nervously, still obviously scared, she cautiously grabs one by the scruff, lifting another onto her back. salvador, carrying one herself, points to her herd’s tree. “fowwow sawbadow nao.”

she obliges, steps shaky as they squeeze their way through the tunnel. the alicorn’s hooves still have blood on them, which sticks to the ground with every step. “minty,” she starts once the other mare is in sight, “du ‘ou hab woom fow thwee mowe babbehs?”

“huh?” her head perks up. “‘ou found babbehs?”

“yes, and anotha fwuffy dat wiww stay,” she responds. she moves out of the way for the brown mare to step trembling into the clearing. slate looks up from where he has lilac half-pinned to the ground, now unconscious. funky’s yellow head pokes out from her tunnel room.

“uhh, ah -” fluffy stammers, “h-hewwo. f-fwuffy nu hab hewd anymowe. just pwease nu huwt fwuffy…”

“am fine by swate,” the blue stallion responds, laying his head back down. minty looks her over as salvador sets the foal she was carrying at her hooves.

“hewd nu wiww huwt you!” she reassures, pulling the new foal closer. “nao come oba hewe an wet minty see babbehs.”

salvador silently slips back through the tunnel while they talk, two of the new foals already beginning to latch onto minty’s teats as the brown fluffy looks notably lost. their voices fade out by time she gets back outside.

the sun is beaming on the corpses, the smell of rust and feces already beginning to overwhelm the area. drool is spilling from several open jaws, only adding to the disgusting liquid being assaulted by the heat. she walks over them, taking in the slack limbs and glassy eyes, the limp tongues, some of which still have nerium petals or leaves sticking to them as their saliva dries up.

well, salvador thinks, looking over them, time to clean up.