the economic implications of fluffies

how would/could you use fluffies to fulfill a job?


As a farmer fluffies are basically free fertilizer


I’ve written one story where fluffiest we’re slave labor for an organic farm that also sold fluffy meat and pelts. I’ve also written another story about a fluffy creamery that made milk, cheese, and ice cream from fluffy milk.

As far as non agriculture fields, they’re not smart enough to make change, don’t have the attention span or deterrent power for security, and have too poor of memories to do telemarketing.

They’d be useful in the same way as working dogs because their sense of smell is so good, but limited to tracking and finding because no fluffy could take down a criminal like a K9 unit. Also seeing eye fluffiest would be helpful since they could tell the person what was happening.


Ho boy alright let’s get this shit started;

The fluffy body itself could be used for many different purposes. Meat, milk & other dairy products, fluff into textiles, potentially glue from hooves. Huge potential to add a whole new poverty-level product to markets. We could even sell bottled fluffy urine for game hunters to attract predators. As prior mentioned you also have fluffy fertilizer, and the obvious pet food.

As they’re biotoys, the debate over them being “animals” is up in the air, so they’re immediate targets for disease research, product testing like makeup and shampoos. You could even use fluffy carcasses for live-fire tests of ballistics weapons.

Fluffies are cute and can be taught to be teachers. A for-human children “FluffTV” is bound to come about, or probably Netflix does something called “FluffFlix” followed by Youtube’s “FluffTube” or “YouTube Fluff”. “Johnny Johnny Yes Mommy” is massively popular with youngsters, the theoretical “FluffTube” could easily slide into that niche. It’s not unlikely we end up with an internet celebrity a la Stampy Longcat or a child’s entertainer a la Mr. Rogers, but a fluffy.

Fluffy celebrities could easily be a thing. You get one wise-cracking fluffy that you teach to curse and that’s a string of five appearances on Ellen alone right there. Imagine the ad revenue from Fluffy Instagrams, or Fluffies singing along to Ye and Kendrick on TikTok. Fluffy voice actors in cartoons, or funny sidekicks in live action adult comedies featuring the frontman from The Lonely Island. Fluffy Pony in Fortnite, Fluffy Pony in Minecraft; we’re talking cultural landmark stuff here.

Okay follow me; fluffies are really good at sniffin’ right? They can sniff their babies and tell if they’re derped or not. Boop just did a comic on this but that’s one or two steps away from Drug Control Fluffy or Bomb/Mine Disposal Unit Fluffy.

Then there’s The Fluffy Industrial Complex. You’ve just introduced a living, breathing, talking, thinking thing into the world and want to have it fill the role of a pet. Shelters on shelters, the oft-mentioned FluffMart, training fluffies, stress-companion fluffies, it won’t fucking end. At the pinnacle you have Fluffy Shows where prime pureblood breeds compete against each other in tests of agility, obedience, and stature. If fluffies were real, you’re looking at prize-winning fluffy studs getting sold for stupid money between show going fluffy breeders families.

You’re also gonna have one really ugly fluffy that someone’s gonna take a single 3/8ths portrait picture of, change the hue 5,000,000 times, and then sell off each variant as an NFT.


Right also there’s fluffy ambassadors. As a species that is intelligent and communicate, you’re bound to have something like “The Autonomous State of Fluffetti” carved from one of the flyover states/provinces in Canada/the US. The smartest and brightest fluffies have human staff in capitals around the world working on fluffy relations with humanity. Malcom Fluff gets a Nobel Peace Prize for his audiobook, “Nummies, Pway, Wuv”.


My headcanon has a few fluffies with jobs, though they’ve never been the focus of a story.

Unless you count superheroism as a job.


They’d make great service animals.

While we often laugh at how dumb they tend to be since they lack a lot of survival instincts, they’re easily in the upper 1% of animals. They can be taught how to recognize things like an oncoming seizure, either from looking for signs or from being told, and instead of laying on top of their owner and hoping passersby know what that means, they can straight up tell people what’s going on.

They can’t do any of the more physically demanding service animal jobs unless they get a treatment similar to the rising fluffs to be sturdy enough for them, but those look like they could serve as seeing eye fluffs, able to both guide their owners and tell them about what’s coming up, like turns, crosswalks, and so on.


Very badly and not with any major success for any manual labor jobs, but people would try

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Fluffies know when they’re pregnant and can sniff out defects in their babies; service animals would be a perfect fit for them.


They would probably be good for drug trafficking, I could be wrong.

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Toilet paper is a weirdly popular one.

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I wrote about this.

Going by the common canon that Fluffies are so weak they can’t consume much but soft food, they are very useful to farmers because they do the same job with less risk as goats. Once most plants are beyond sprouting they can be unleashed on fields to fallow them and clear out any weeds as soon as they sprout. All that shit and inevitable corpses are damn good fertilizer.
Corn especially would benefit.
Fluffies could also be used to consume insects like certain caterpillars, and locusts.

Farmers could push them onto federal land, then count on the government to declare it a disaster then open it to private interests to expand into.

Plenty of animals like geese and cattle could happily eat plant-fed Fluffy shit.

Crops like strawberries could be an issue, though protecting them from small animals is already a thing. I think I wrote either a draft, comment, or published story about trained Fluffies as pickers replacing children in summer, since the kids fuck up berries and eat like half of them anyway.

I say part of the reason Fluffies remain such a big thing in nature, and why Megaherds still form, is because farmers and especially ranchers in America ALWAYS win. Doesn’t matter who the other side is, ranchers even beat energy companies more often than not. Cleveland would become a punchline instead of a tragedy if politicians trued to use it to exterminate them. Said Fluffies would eventually not be neon multicolor idiots due to natural selection though.

America would absolutely go to war over beef, and if gay transexual welfare wind energy massively benefitted the wheat crop you’d suddenly find a few MAGA politicians getting into mysterious car accidents where the police just kind of lose the evidence collected.

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Too fragile to offer meaningful results.


does it hurt? :ballot_box_with_check:
is it accurate? :ballot_box_with_check:
can it kill multiple people? :ballot_box_with_check:
is it effective? :ballot_box_with_check:

just to name a few examples.

All of these metrics are more readily testable through ballistic gel targets. A fluffy exploding into gore doesn’t indicate nearly as much information.

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