Taken from an idea left on @FallenAngel007’s Frenemies comment section.
Cassandra and The Witch Bride were locked in a power struggle, crackles of electrical magic fired off in all directions as the two mages fought both physically and mentally for dominance. Their hands gripped tighter together trying to catch the other off-guard, their faces – mere inches apart – snarled in an attempt to frighten their rival.
Their titanic tits breasted boobily as they bounced unbounded by the mere laws of physics.
And capturing it all on film, was Brazzers, a black unicorn stallion with a yellow mane, and – unlike most Fluffies outside of the pageantry world – a small uniform. He work a neon green poker visor, a pair of yellow tinted aviator sunglasses, a khaki-coloured cargo-vest and held a candy cigarette in his mouth. He was a… unique Fluffy to say the least.
“Zoomies in Siwent Bob hoomins wike it wen da miwkies pwaces gib huggies.”
Brazzers’ companion was a tubby olive green earthie stallion with a tan brown mane called Silent Bob, named so because he never spoke, who also had on a little costume in the form of a backwards white baseball cap. He had been hired – in a manner of speaking – to be Brazzers’ cameraman and film the titillating situations they found themselves in.
Of course Silent Bob had no idea what a camera was, how to work one, or where Brazzers was able to find one small enough for a Fluffy to use, but the camera only had two buttons, one green and one red, so Silent Bob pressed the green button and smiled at the good job he was doing.
Brazzers was also smiling, watching two massive pairs of magical mammaries knocking and knewading and pressing and pushing against each other, all he needed was some baby oil and he had a hit on his hoofs. He didn’t fully understand why the humans like milkie-places so much, they seemed to be a baby thing in his opinion, but they wanted more, and Brazzers was the Fluffy to give it to them.
Unfortunately, Brazzers was too distracted by finding the perfect titty shot to notice the looming shadow growing over him, Silent Bob did, and he attempted to get his friends attention with a sharp tap on the side.
“Nu nyo Siwent Bob, da miwkie-pwaces am gettin wet, wawa am gud fow miwkie-pwaces.”
Silent Bob tapped him harder.
“Wha du yu wa…. Oh poopies.”
Standing behind the pair, was what could only be described as a forest spirit, a creature standing ten feet tall, with a body of bark and branches, a bright orange pumpkin head and long flowing green leaves of hair. The creature stared with the hollow blackness of its eyes and pointed at Brazzers and Silent Bob.
“And who the fuck might you two be?”
The candy cigarette dropped out of Brazzers mouth.
“Oh… um, hewwo. Fwuffies am on-twa-pah-noohs an we am in da biz-ness of… WUN!”
Brazzers and Silent Bob sprinted away towards the exit of this garden, the forest spirit raised it’s arms and slammed them into the ground. Almost immediately, the dirt began to shake and break as hundreds of sentient branches burst forth, intent of decimating the two interlopers. Brazzers could see the garden exit just ahead of him, but every step was getting weaker as the ground crumbled around him, he raised a foot to try and push forward, only to feel one of the branches start to wrap around his leg and…
Everything froze, time stood still, the ground stopped falling, the branches stopped moving, Brazzers and Silent Bob stopped running. It was as though everything in the world just paused all at the same time.
And in the background, the faint sound of Baba O’Riley could be heard.
“Yep, dat am Bwazzas. Hewwo, am da nawwatoh nyo. Yu pwobabwy wonda how Bwazzas git intu dis sit-yoo-ah-shun, weww it aww stawties cos Bwazzas weawise dat Bwazzas am speciaw-fwuffy. Bwazza am smawt.
Nu smawty wike dummeh bwowhawds, nu Bwazzas am smawt, cos Bwazzas am da onwy Fwuffy whu undastan wha munies is. Munies am wha make sketti, hab wots of munies, hab wots of sketti.
An wha makes wots of munies? Hoomin miwkie-pwaces. Bwazzas nu undastan wai yet, bu hoomins gib gud munies tu see miwkie—pwaces. Su wiv bestesh camawa-man Siwent Bob, Bwazzas gu on epic adventuh tu find hoomin miwkie-pwaces tu make bestesh munies.
Weww… maybe nyu hewe wen Bwazzas am awmosh twee munstah nummies, wet’s gu bak tu a betta time fow Bwzzas.”
“You want us to what?”
It was several months earlier, the exact time not yet decided by the author, and Brazzers was standing outside a nightclub with Silent Bob talking to a pair of young women.
“It am simpehs, yu show miwkie-pwaces tu Siwent Bob camawa, an Fwuffies gib yu munies. It am moo-too-wee ben-ah-fish-al. Yu hab wha Fwuffies wan, Fwuffies hab wha yu wan.”
“And what will you do with the video?” One of the girls asked, a blonde wearing a tight pink dress.
“Show it tu udda hoomins to make mowe munies.”
The other girl, a brunette in a blue dress, snorted. “What? Like Girls Gone Wild?”
“Bwazza nu knyo wha dat am, bu if it am bout hoomin miwkie-pwaces den yeh, wike dat.”
The two girls looked at each other and giggled at the absurdity of the situation.
“Fuck man, I’ve never been asked to flash a Fluffy before.”
“He’s at least cuter than most guys who ask to see my tits. I like the hat on the one with he camera.”
Silent Bob looked up at the blonde and waved his hoof at her.
“Dat am Siwent Bob.” Brazzers explained. “he am camawa-man.”
“Why’s he called Silent Bob?”
“Cos he am Bob, an he am siwent.”
“….I don’t know what I expected.”
Suddenly the brunette spoke up sharply. “Fuck it, I’m game.”
“What?”
“Oh come on Becca, think of how funny this will be to tell everyone, plus I got great tits and I wouldn’t find a permanent record of how great they are. And we’re gonna get paid babe, what’s holding you back?”
The blonde looked down at Brazzers. “I don’t believe he’s got the cash, show my the money and I’ll consider it.”
Before either girl could react, Brazzers pulled out a wad of cash and dropped it in front of them, it was a fairly substantial stack too, and to the girl’s shock the bills were all hundreds.
“Where did you get this?”
“And where did you pull it out from.”
“Bwazzas hab Cus-in cawwed Dowwa Biww, he hab wots of munies wike dis. Bwazzas happies tu shawe wiv yu if show miwkie-pwaces tu camawa.”
The blonde paused for a moment before slowly reaching out for the stack of bills, Brazzers quickly tapped his foot onto the stack to keep it safe.
“Bwazzas nu am dummeh, yu nu git it aww. Bu Bwazzas wike yu bov, gib yu twu munies eech.”
The blonde shook her head. “You got the cash, five hundred each.”
“Tuu muchies, gib yu twu an hafsies munies.”
“Three hundred each and we get a copy of the video.”
“Dun. Da video be onwine, gu tu da addwess on dis cawd an yoose code ‘Waid: Shadow Wegend’ tu git it fow fwee.”
Brazzers pulled two business cards out of his cargo vest and handed them both to the girls, he then counted out three and three munies and passed them over as well. Then with Silent Bob rolling, the two women dropped their tops and gave the Fluffies a good show.
The brunette giggled as she put her top back up. “Oh fuck me that was fun, not how I saw my night going but I don’t regret it.”
“Yeah me either. I guess I should thank you two for a good night.”
“Nu fankies needed, it am aww fow bizness. Hab a gud dawk-time.”
The two stallions waved goodbye to their new friends and wandered off into the night, Brazzers happy that he got the shot.
“Dis am wha it bout Siwent Bob, da mowe hoomin miwkie-pwaces we git, da mowe munies we hab, da mowe munies we hab, da mowe hoomin miwkie-pwaces we git. Den wunce we hab da munies, den we git da sketti, den we git da powa.”
Silent Bob nodded enthusiastically, not having a goddamn clue what power was.
“I gun be Bwazzas an Siwent Bob tu da topies nyo fwiend, an nuffin am gun stop us n…. Wha da enf?”
Brazzers stopped suddenly, one of his backhoofs had gotten stuck in bubblegum, and it wasn’t looking to tear off anytime soon. Brazzers tugged and pulled to little avail, the gum did not want to come loose.
“Poopies. Siwent Bob, need hewpies.”
Silent Bob put down his camera and helped pull his friend away from the gummy menace. It took the pair an embarrassing amount of effort but eventually Brazzers was pulled free, landing on top of Silent Bob with a soft thud.
Brazzers jumped up and dusted himself off. “It am ok, it am ok nyo, nu need tu wowwies cos nyo…”
The black unicorn looked straight into Silent Bob’s camera and winked. “…Bwazzas am fwee.”
MORE ADVENTURES COMING SOON
Love it! Brazzer reminds me of that smarty with money story you did on the fluffy extermination chapter.