The ride home was typical for fluffies that had never been in a car. Initial fear of the vroom-vroom monster, then quiet whimpering, then inane, incessant questions. Richard, of course, answered them all, not that most of the answers made any sense to the creatures. They had no comprehension of street names or types of businesses, or even direction. Still, it comforted them. To the mare’s credit, only the foals made scaredy poops. He left it be for now, and would only give the guilty parties a minor scolding, rather than any actual punishment. They hadn’t yet earned any real discipline, and the disapproval of their human could be plenty for a good fluffy.
It had taken some doing to get them into the carrier. It was a medium dog carrier he’d originally gotten for his dog’s first vet visit, and since Ruckus was an Anatolian shepherd, he’d been big even as a teenager. There was plenty of room in there, and he’d refitted it with sealed rubber foam for easy cleaning, with a towel laid on top. The mare had initially thought it was a sorry box, but he explained that it was a nice carry box, and it was to keep her safe. A little back-and-forth later, and she’d been convinced to take her and her babies inside. The mare had whimpered a little when the door was latched behind her, but she soon realized just how much room there was. It was larger than her rubbermaid tub had been, softer, and with more light. She was smart enough to recognize that she’d never had it so good.
Richard pulled into his garage, popped the hatch, and took the carrier out. He set it on a stainless steel counter he’d thickly plated with brass, with a similarly-prepared industrial sink beside it. He laid a steel mesh over top it, so the fluffies wouldn’t feel trapped in the basin. He unlatched the carrier and let them come out.
The pegasus was first. He dashed out as his mother was still getting to her hooves, and stopped about six inches outside. The little guy was in awe of the space, of all the things on the racks and shelves. It was a two-car garage, with one bay converted to both a workshop and fluffy prep station, one on either side of the space. Due to the bioprogramming, he’d recognize the brightly-colored, fluffy-specific products he’d stocked up on but hadn’t used.
“Nyu housie su big!” he gasped in amazement. “Babbeh su happeh, babbeh… Babbeh dancies!”
He reared up and began to ‘dance’, clumsily wiggling his forelegs and switching his weight between his back ones. He impressed Richard by improvising a little twirl. He fell over, of course, but that didn’t dampen his spirits. He giggled and rolled back and forth where he’d fallen, as his mother and siblings stepped out after him.
The mare was smiling at her baby. “Babbeh su siwwies, mummah wub!” She sat down just to the side of Richard as he reached up to grab a bottle of baby shampoo and a bundle of soft, pure cotton washcloths and towels. “Daddeh, mummah an’ babbehs am hungwies. How time tiww nummies?”
“Soon, sweetheart. But you don’t smell pretty. We have to fix that first.”
Then, Ruckus started to bark in excitement, now that he’d heard his master’s voice. The foals scrabbled in fear, retreating back into the carrier. The unicorn made scaredy poops on the way, which meant he wasn’t one of the offenders in the car. So there’d be a scolding for him, too, Richard supposed. The mare pressed down onto the counter and covered her eyes with her hooves.
“Eeeee! Bawkie munstah! Nu wet huwt fwuffies! Huu huu huuuu…” She wailed.
Richard gently shushed and crooned to her, stroking her mane affectionately. “No, no, sweetie. That’s a barky friend. His name is Ruckus, and he loves good fluffies. He’ll protect you, just like me.”
The mare peeked out from behind her hooves. “Bawkie nu munstah?”
“Not at all, little girl. You’re safe here. Daddy will take care of you, I promise.”
The mare smiled, and her relief was palpable. “Otay daddeh. Fwuffie twy wike bawkie fwend. Tank yu Daddeh.” She pushed herself back into a seated position, and watched as he arrayed his bathing supplies in the order they’d be used.
Richard pulled on a pair of powder-free nitrile gloves, careful not to snap them and alarm his timid new charges. Then he turned on the water. The mare got a little nervous. He adjusted the temperature to be just slightly below fluffy body temperature, then looked down at her with a gentle but serious expression. “Alright, time for your bath.”
The mare eyed him and the water uncertainly. “Bu’ wawa bad fo’ fwuffies!”
“Not this water, though. And daddy’s here to make sure it won’t hurt you. I know you won’t like it, but it’s important. Otherwise you might get sickies, and give the other friends sickies too!”
She frowned, but was still unenthused by the idea. “Mummah no wan sickies fo’ famwy an’ fwends… Wawa scawy, bu’ mummah take baff wif daddeh.”
He rewarded her with scritches, prompting a coo. “Good girl. Just stay calm. You’re safe.”
He lifted her and turned the faucet over to one corner of the sink so she had room to stand on the grate without getting a full blast of water. She kept her eyes on it. Fortunately for her, he had a low-pressure hose nozzle right beside it, and that would be what she’d be cleaned with. He set her on the grate, which was made of thick enough wire to not hurt her callous-like hooves, but also had a grid small enough that foals’ legs wouldn’t get caught in it.
He took hold of the spray nozzle and pulled the hose out of its spool. “Alright girl. Get ready, and stay still. It won’t hurt you. I promise.”
She nodded, scrunched her eyes closed, pinned her ears, and pulled her tail in close between her legs. He depressed the lever, and began to wet her fluff. She whined. “Nu wike… Wawm bu’ nu wiiiiike!”
“I know, hon. But it’ll be over soon. Be good for your babies, or they might get scared!” He passed the water over her back and drenched her sides, then lifted her tail and began to gently spray the light crusting of feces back there with sideways passes of the water.
She groaned and tapped her hooves against the grate, but otherwise remained still. Her foals were now peeking out from the carrier, unsure how they should feel about what they were seeing. Water was scary, but their mummah was all wet and was okay! It didn’t make sense to them.
Once the worst of the filth was gone, he drizzled soap over her back and began to gently massage it into her fluff. She seemed to like that, so he lingered on the spots on her back and sides that all fluffies loved to have touched. Making the first bath rewarding definitely made everything that came after easier. He moved onto her tail and haunches, and then rinsed the lather down the drain.
“Here comes the worst part. Be brave for daddy, okay?” He warned, stroking her mane encouragingly. “And keep your eyes and mouth closed. The soap doesn’t taste pretty.”
She obeyed, pursing her fuzzy lips and squeezing her eyes shut even more tightly. With a gentler spray, he hosed down her head. She flinched and took a couple steps backwards, but a gentle hand on her backside stopped her retreat, and she suffered through the rest.
He made this part faster, though he did enhance the experience for her somewhat with some cheek rubs. Twenty seconds later, and she was fully clean. Richard let off the lever, and with a tone of praise, he said, “All done! You did so good!”
She opened her eyes with an expression of supreme displeasure. “Nu wike. Bu’ smeww pwetty.”
“I know, I know. Come on, let’s get you dry.” Richard lifted her over to the other side of the sink and began to carefully scrub the water from her fluff. She was more than cooperative with this part, eager to get the wetness weighing down her fluff out. Once she was as dry as he could get her, he placed her on top of a second towel and wrapped it around her. He made sure her legs were mostly free so she wouldn’t feel trapped – with a bit of wiggling she could easily get free. She didn’t though. She lay down and hummed, the feeling of being clean for the first time in her life finally settling in.
“It otay babbehs. Daddeh baffies nu scawy! Smeww pwetty!” she encouraged her foals, making Richard laugh.
“See? It’s not so bad.” he beckoned the foals. “Come on out, you four. Who wants to go first?”
The blue earthy was, surprisingly, the first one to take him up on the offer. She bounded out, squeaking out “Babbeh wan’ smeww pwetty baffies!”
Richard gave her a few strokes with his finger. “So brave! But first, I need to know who made bad poopies in the carrier. Was it you?”
Richard could already tell that she was at least one of the culprits by the fresh shit on the base of her tail, but it was important to get them telling the truth early. The filly’s face fell and she looked at the counter, giving a sullen nod.
“Good poopies go in the litter box, okay? You can’t do it anywhere else, no matter what. You aren’t a bad fluffy, but if you don’t learn, you will be. Daddy doesn’t want to give you hurties, okay? So from now on, only make good poopies.” He reached over and gave a gentle tap to the noses of the pegasus and unicorn, who had also shit in the carrier. “That goes for you, too, okay? Daddy loves you, but you have to behave.”
The pegasus clearly didn’t know how he’d been found out, so there was a little fear in him, but the unicorn understood just as well as his sister, with the same guilty expression. Richard let a few moments of silence pass, filled only with the sound of running water, to let it properly sink in. Then, he smiled at them.
“You are some very good fluffies. Now, let’s get you clean.”
With the scolding over, he gave each of the foals a quick, gentle bath. They hated it, of course, but once it was over they were just as content as their mother, wrapped but not swaddled and placed against her side. As he went to shut down the water, his large maine coon came through the pet door between the racks, giving a “Pppppprow?” in greeting.
The mare perked up and looked around worriedly, finally spying the cat after she’d looked literally everywhere else in the garage. “Kitty am fwend, tu?” She asked hopefully.
“Oh, Charlie is the best friend. He’ll protect your babies while they explore!”
All of the fluffies were pleased to hear that. “Fwuffies have nyu daddeh and wots o’ fwends! Yay!” Cheered the pegasus, bobbing his head and tapping his hooves happily. Richard could see the little nubs of his wings wiggling under the washcloth.
Charlie rubbed against Richard’s leg, then jumped up onto the counter. He sniffed at the mother first, then each of the foals in turn. With the man’s assurance, they weren’t scared, giggling at the tickly puffs of air from the cat’s nose. Charlie then rubbed them all with his cheek, purring softly, before jumping fucking off back through the pet door.
“Later, dude!” Richard called after him, then grabbed some sanitizer wipes and cleaned up the mess on the counter and inside the crate. The soiled towel went into a hamper with his shop rags and particularly-dirty clothes. Then he placed the foals on their mother’s back and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up.
“I have a secret for you, fluffies. This isn’t your new home. Do you want to see daddy’s saferoom now?”
They all spoke at once. “Yus! Wan safewoom!” went the mare. The earthies babbled over each other so closely that it was unintelligible. The unicorn asked “Wat am safewoom?” which was a little concerning but not immediately a problem. The pegasus shouted as loud as he could, “YAY! SAFEWOOM AN’ TOYSIES!”
He took them through the interior fire door and into his living room. Ruckus was panting happily and spinning circles as he approached. “Just a minute, dude. Gotta take care of these guys first!” The large dog barked happily, but it was an inside bark. He was a good dog. He followed Richard down the hall to the pink door of the saferoom, but remained outside as he opened it.
It wasn’t the greatest saferoom ever, but it was large and had more than was actually needed. Padded floor and walls, special shag carpets designed for easy cleaning, a television, and a wide variety of toys. A large feeder and a couple water bottles were there as well, in addition to several food bowls. There was more than enough kibble, but his fluffies rarely had to resort to it, since he fed them table scraps regularly. In the corner was a large self-cleaning litterbox of his own design, with a hatch against the wall for the waste to be dumped into a collection bin for composting – it could only operate with him watching because it wasn’t safe, but it wouldn’t do anything without a breaker placed above it being flipped. The fluffies were amazed. But the best part, at least for him, was when the three fluffies he already had came running up to him.
“Daddeh home! Su happies!” Cried a brown earthy stallion with a darker-brown mane. He had sparkles in his fluff.
“Daddeh! Daddeh! Can Kisme’ hab dancie song?” Asked a sandstone unicorn mare with black circles around her eyes, and a black mane and tail.
The final fluffy came more slowly. He was and old, monocolor blue pegasus, and walked with a limp, but he had the biggest smile of them all. He spoke softly, in a husky, slurring voice. “Hewwuh Dadduh. Dabie shu happiesh yu hum. Habbb nuh fwensh?”
“Hello fluffies! I’m happy to be home too, Suave. I do have new friends, but they just had bath time. I’m gonna put them on a bed and you can meet them! And yes, Kismet, you can have dancie song! Just give me a second to get my hands free, and you can show your new friends your best dancing.”
His fluffies milled around his feet as he walked, but didn’t get underfoot. The family of fluffs went on the largest bed, which made Davie a little sad. “Don’t worry, Davie. It’s just for today. I have a new bed for you in the garage!” That cheered him back up.
With his hands now free, he activated a bluetooth speaker set out of reach of the fluffies and used his phone to put on Maniac by Michael Sembello. Kismet squee’d and immediately began to prance back and forth on her hooves, tossing her head with surprising elegance for a fluffy. Richard sat down to watch, and his other two fluffies came up on either side, snuggling up against his thighs. He placed his hands on their heads and gave them pets.
The new family was amazed by Kismet’s dancing. They’d never seen something so great! They giggled and cheered. The pegasus gasped and said “Wow, su pwetty dancie!” The mare seemed worried, though, and kept making side eyes at Davie.
When the song was over, and Kismet was left happy and panting from exertion, he clapped softly and dislodged himself from the small cuddle pile. He walked over to the mare and gave her a few pets. “What’s wrong, girl?” he asked gently.
“Daddeh… am dat dummeh bad fwuffy? Wai come?” She whispered anxiously.
“No, no,” he reassured. “Davie is a good fluffy. But his bad mummah gave him bad hurties, and now he has forever hurties in his leggie and talkie place. He’s a good fluffy, he’s just different.”
She gasped and immediately teared up, both sympathetic and guilty for ever having thought such a thing about her new friend. “F-Foweba huwties?” She asked in a shrill, barely audible voice.
“That’s right,” Answered Richard sagely. “So be patient and gentle with him.”
She nodded and began to wiggle her way out of her towel, despite still being wet. Somehow she managed to do it without throwing her foals free, instead slowly sliding out from underneath them and letting them gently come down to the bed. She trotted over to Davie, who was pushing a ball around a ring, and gave him her biggest, softest hug.
Davie stiffened a little and frowned. “Nuh fwen cowb…” He said with mild displeasure. Then he smiled and returned the hug, closing his eyes. “Stihh wub.”
Satisfied that everything was in order, he put a carefully curated playlist of FluffTV programs and downloaded youtube videos for them to watch. “I’ll be back soon, guys. Have fun!”
Richard let Ruckus outside, let him go to the bathroom, cleaned it up, and then played fetch with him for about an hour. As he was winding it down, he got a phone call from his friend Ricky.
“Ay.” He answered simply.
Ricky was an older guy that made his living breeding horses. They did a fair amount of work together and drank around a fire every weekend. The old man cleared his throat wetly into the phone, an unfortunate habit Richard was too polite to mention. “So, I have a problem.” Ricky began.
Richard nodded, as if his friend could see. “Yeah?” he asked, again simply.
“You bet your ass I do, Dick! A goddamn herd has taken over the hutch I use to store feed. You know me, I’m a softie, I don’t have the stomach to put down something that talks. I know you like these things and have a hard-on for taking out invasive species. I’d throw you a hundred if you take care of it for me, and a bag of oats for your shit-rats. Keep the ones you like, I don’t care, so long as they’re off my property. I’ve already got a burn pit ready for clean-up.”
“Sounds good, be there in a few.” Replied Richard, and hung up.
Richard got his paintball gun from its rack in his rec room, then retrieved a bag of frozen paint balls from the chest freezer behind his garage. He took his normal fluffy carrier with him, but had a feeling he might need more than that, so he also took his carriers for Ruckus and Charlie. He threw them in the back of his truck, and set off. He lit a rare cigarette. This was going to be a bloodbath.