The Garden of Eden Micro Habitat Kit…the latest in innovation from the wizards at Hasbio! Simply add the included seeds and water to the habitat and watch an entire environment grow in a matter of days! Once everything is lush and green, add the fluffy packet with a few drops of water and voila! An entire herd of micro fluffies will appear as if by magic, ready to enjoy their verdant new home. How does Hasbio do it? That’s a trade secret, but you’ll be having too much fun to care!
-Description from a toy catalog
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“Mom, I hate fluffies. And I hate grandma too. She smells like cabbage and eats nickels. I saw her do it!” It was Hunter’s birthday and he’d received a giftwrapped package in the mail from his grandmother. He was a ten year old and an absolute little shit who couldn’t even feign any kind of joy after unwrapping the gift he’d gotten from his nana.
After pulling away the wrapping paper he’d unveiled a bright pink box covered with pictures of rainbows and fluffies playing around on playground equipment and looking way too cutesy for their own good. This was a girl’s toy. He felt like a major homogay even holding it. If his friends saw him like this, they’d kick his ass for sure.
“Hunter! I swear to God I’ll send you to live with your father in OHIO if you talk about your grandma like that again.” His mom said, but the kid just gave a roll of his eyes.
“Fine mom. Whatever. Don’t send me to Ohio.” Chucking the box to the side, he watched as his mom scooped it back up and shoved it toward his chest.
“I want to see you playing with it. I’m going to send your grandma a photo, and yes you’d better be smiling.” Why, huh? Why send grandma a picture of it? She was going to die in like a year anyways. Screw grandma and her crappy presents!
“Whatever!” The kid went to open the box up and dump the contents out onto the coffee table he’d been lounging next to. A shoebox sized enclosure lined with packed soil with little white beads of chemical fertilizer evident. According to the packaging, once he installed batteries and turned on the Toasty-Warmy light the glass enshrouding it would become a one-way mirror so someone could enjoy seeing all the micros scampering around without knowing they were being viewed.
Once he saw his mom leaving the living room, he mumbled under his breath: ‘I hate you, grandma’, sliding open the glass of the enclosure and dumping a packet of seeds which had been included. The packet made a wild claim that the seeds would grow a ‘magical cuddle forest’. THIS WAS GAY.
“I’m doing it mom! I’m playing with the dumb toy! I’m having a ton of fun!” He’d walked over to the kitchen and got a small glass of water, walking back over to the habitat and pouring it out over the soil. Nothing happened because of course it didn’t. Popping a few batteries into it, he flicked on the light. Immediately, artificial sunlight bathed the entirety of the box and lit it up with impressive results.
“Great, I have a shiny box of dirt now. Thanks grandma.” Hunter got up from the table and went to do something else. Anything else.
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A few days had passed and the shitty gift was mostly forgotten about. Going to school, playing videogames, impressing girls with gun shaped sticks. A typical kid’s life. One evening though his mom came into his bedroom and waved a hand to the door.
“Your fluffy garden is ready! Go hatch the little guys so I can get a photo.” She had a Kodak Funsaver in one hand, apparently having time traveled back to a nineties drugstore at some point.
“FINE.” Wheeling away from his computer and stomping out of the room, he went into the living room and peered down to the habitat. It really had worked. There was lush green grass, the teeniest of flowers, even mushrooms. His mother had gone through the process of setting everything else up. There were tiny plastic domes which had cotton batting stuffed on the inside for bedding, toys that looked like they belonged in a miniature museum, and even a stream. Well. A line of water that slowly trickled along the center of the habitat, fed through a refillable slot on the side and powered with more batteries. It was kind of loud and smelled like burning hair.
Taking a paper packet labeled ‘YOUR NEW FRIENDS’ up, Hunter tore the envelope open and poured it out onto a patch of grass inside the habitat. They looked like rainbow colored grains of sand. Next were a few drops of water from an eyedropper which had been included. The things which he guessed were eggs were moistened up, the kid leaning on the table with a bored expression. There, they were hatching. He guessed. They were kind of hard to see, but the specks were moving around at any rate.
“There, mom.” He turned to her with a look as if he’d rather be drinking acid than doing this, she took the photo, he was done with this stupid thing now.
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Inside the habitat was a world all of it’s own. Opening his eyes after having been sweepies for the longest time, Chippy sprung up with wide-eyed wonder at the world around him. He didn’t really have any memories of a life…not a mummah, or a past, nothing at all. The blue and white micro was practically a blank slate which information had been put into. A randomly assigned name, simple stuff that fluffies should know, and that was it.
“Hewwo fwends! Name am Chippy!” They were all introducing one another and wandering about their paradise. Some of them were already numming on the grass and flowers which dotted the ground and he tried some himself. It was very sweet and refreshing!
“Wub yew, gwassies!” He told the nummies after taking his fill. Next was to see all of the toys. There were little balls, a slide, even tunnels to run through. Hasbio hadn’t skimped out with the accessories, that much was for sure.
“Hewwo! Am Posy, wan pway?” Asked a very pretty brown & yellow mare, shyly kicking a ball toward him.
“Baww!” Chippy recognized that! He wasn’t exactly sure why, just did! Either way he knocked the ball back to her with a deft smack of one hoof and the two would chase it around together while giggling.
All that playing was beginning to tire all of the fluffies out! Some of them formed big fluffpiles, largely focused directly under the bright light which illuminated their cage.
“Wan nappy wif Chippeh?” Asked the stallion, and Posy nodded. Instead of forming a fluffpile they broke away from all of the other fluffies and meandered into one of the plastic houses. The cotton stuffed inside felt sooo good! Hopping into it, Chippy rolled around and made himself at home. Posy snugged in beside him, chirping and cooing. Everyfluff in the habitat had the biggest heawt happies.
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When Chippy woke up and gave Posy kissies, it was time to walk out of their little hut and make poopies. Hasbio had gone the distance to give them stupid toys to play with but for using the bathroom, they had to do so wherever they wanted and it wasn’t like a human was going to instruct them to do otherwise. There were piles of feces already everywhere and with a grunt, he added to the mess.
“Teehee…hi pwetty fwoweh.” Talking to a buttercream colored blossom that he bent down to tug from the ground! Num num num. Next it was over to the battery powered ‘stream’ that trickled through the center of the landscape. Bending down and lapping from it happily, he even hopped in to splish around. These fluffies had no sense of danger or fowebbah sweepies and the wawa wasn’t even deep anyways.
“Su funsies! Yaaaay!” Looking to the waterway, he spied a couple of fluffies going potty in the water which just cycled back and brought poopies floating through. He decided it looked really fun and that he wanted to try that next time he had to go.
Posy trotted in from behind him with a happy swish of her tail. “Wan pway wawa funsies?” She asked, and he gently tackled her into it. It was fun to splash around and be goofy! Just needed to avoid the poopies…
“Fwuffy suuuu happeh.” Chippy mumbled in contentment to Posy as they lay side by side together on the grass. Their fur was matted down with wawa but it didn’t matter because the artificial sun above them made it so cozy warm.
“Chippeh? Wan babbehs?” Posy suddenly asked, getting closer to him. Babbehs!? Yes he wanted babbehs!
Nodding quickly, the stallion looked to her with wide-eyed curiosity. “How am fwuffy hab babbehs!?”
She didn’t know either! Instead she gave him huggies and rubbed her nose against him. “Wike dis!” Just to clarify, REGULAR huggies.
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Hunter stormed into the living room. This was right after school and his mom was still at work. He’d had to go to detention because, well, that didn’t matter.
“Screw you, Mrs STUPID Carter! I didn’t fart on anyone’s sandwich!” Looking down to the micro fluff habitat, he stood over it and clenched his hands into fists. “Alright, now you R-tards are going to suffer for it!”
Picking the glass paneled box up, he gave it one hefty shake.
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One moment Chippy had been giving nose-kissies and hugs, then suddenly everything shifted. The world actually turned upside down and then up again. A dizzying spiral that barreled him and Posy around. Holding onto one another, the two cried out in horrible surprise as the world as they knew it threw themselves around them.
The walls in the place were a mirrored surface, of course. Micros smacked into into it’s hard paneling and left streaks of blood and poopies as they were crushed by the force. Toys, the plastic houses, and loose plants were all set motion right along with them.
“HAB SCAWDIES CHIPPEH!” Posy screamed as they soared together through the air. Tumbling stopped, and Chippy felt the pitch in gravity as they hung for a moment and then began to descend.
“NUUHUUHUU! SCAWDIES! HEWP FWUFFY!” Chippy cried as they fell down the ground. Their friends were meeting the same fate. Dropping down from the air, fluffies fell like rainbow colored rain. Some were unfortunate and landed hard on rougher surfaces such as the fake rocks that lined the ‘river’. Tummy skettis and brain matter sprayed out as their bodies gave out like cheap wet garbage bags. Unable to keep his eyes open out of fear, Chippy closed them and waited for the scary event to go away.
It was a few moments before the fluffy opened them again. When he did, he figured out that he didn’t have huwties. Other fluffies did though. Those who had survived were meandering around the place. Some had weggie booboos and couldn’t walk properly, instead crawling against the grass while crying for help. A yellow mare had landed on the little slide that was fixed into the habitat, having her stomach rent upon by the impact. Her intestines were wound around the top rung of the ladder, the poor creature dangling and bleeding out. Still clearly alive for the moment though. There were far more unmoving micros than there were alive, that was for sure.
“Poseh? Poseh wewe am yew!?” Chippy looked from side to side. Up to the sky as if she’d still be up there. Standing up, he looked down and realized the horrible truth.
He was fine because his friend had received the impact. The mare who he thought was so pretty was flattened on the ground like a used up tube of toothpaste. It was hard to even recognize her head because it was crushed so badly, and her innards had squirted out her poopie place out onto the ground beneath them.
“Nuuhuuhuu…fwend, pwease tawk tu Chippeh.” Getting down, he hugged against the squished up sack of fur that had once been his friend. Even her bones had been practically turned to dust.
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“Hunter! What is your PROBLEM?” That was his mom yelling, so Hunter left his room and went out to the living. He held up his hands quizzically.
“I know you didn’t like your toy, but you didn’t have to make a mess. Look at this.” She pointed down to the fluffy habitat. It was difficult to make out the misery all of them were going through but it looked like shit. Definitely not something that needed to be out on the coffee table.
“Whatever. I’ll throw it away. OK? Geeze!” Picking up the fluffy habitat, he grumbled something and went to bring it outside. Before he did though, he made sure to take a trip to his room where he had something fun hidden.
Out to the back yard where it was actually quite spacious. There was a creek behind their home and a little wooded area, so it’s where the micros were lugged out to.
Setting the shoebox sized enclosure down, he flicked the top slat open. Never having done so ever since the micros were ‘hatched’.
“Look out below, gaywads!” The kid said with glee as a lit firecracker was dropped down from above. It wasn’t an M-80 but it’d do some damage.
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Chippy was sitting on the ground while cuddling the remains of Posy. He didn’t know what death was. Didn’t know what was going on. The rest of his friends were facing similar situations. Those who had survived the shake walked around with dazed expressions or simply sat on the ground, rocking themselves in an attempt to control their fear.
Something happened. The…the sky opened up. A loud voice. The loudest thing Chippy had ever heard in his whole short life, though that was about to become the second loudest. Something large and red dropped down on their enclosure. The impact sent a ripple through the grass, and even though the micro was quite far away from it on the other side of the enclosure he knew it couldn’t be good. Something red and hissing ripped along it. It was pretty, but he had scawdies.
The fizzling red thing quickly ripped along until it was no more and that’s when their world officially came to an end. If the tumble they’d taken had been a disaster, this was a cataclysm. There was a noise and then no noise at all. A light. Heat. Everything was rocked by an explosion as if the fist of God had smashed down into the enclosure, pieces of fluffies and flaming, melting chunks of their toys raining down all over the place. Smoke suffused the entire thing, and glass shards rained down from up above. Chippy hadn’t been near the firecracker to be killed by it outright, but it had blew his eardrums out. There was no sound for him anymore. Only extreme heat and the smoldering parts of all his friends. Heads, hooves, an entire pink shit covered ass which was still flickering with flames landed right next to him. It was so hard to breathe. Curling up with the skin-flap that was his former special friend, he tried to cry but found that he couldn’t. The smoke had dried his eyes out so badly that they refuse to make any wawa.
Since the artificial sun had blown out, Chippy could finally see the outside world. It was now darker inside the box instead of the outside, and what he saw was…it was…he didn’t have a word for a God. Or any idea of what one might be. Yet he understood this massive thing, this thing so far outside of anything his feeble mind could understand was a reverent force. And that they had somehow made it upset.
“Fwuffy sowwy…” He choked out as if that could make things how they were before. What had once been paradise was now a burned, gutted out wasteland of fire, ruin, and death. All he could do was shit himself in regards to the scale of it. There was nothing left, and the only thing he could think of in his final hours was one simple question: What had they done?
