The Goddamn House Is On Fire - Part Five: Acceptance (Shiv)

Fin.


PART FIVE: ACCEPTANCE

The kitchen was immaculate.

The horror behind was somehow made worse with the sight of freshly mopped floors and a shining chrome refrigerator. Smiley had spent hours and hours in here, perched as Little Mummah tried to show him how to prepare her delicious meals. The lessons were never retained but were always delightful.

Vomit on his cheeks, blood in his eyes and horror in his soul, he stumbled forward.

Through his misery, he could see the enormous white Door that lead to the Big Outside. He knew he wasn’t supposed to go there, but he also understood that he didn’t have a choice. As he passed the place where Little Mummah washed her “dishies,” he heard a peep. Exhausted and terrified by whatever fresh new horror he’d find, he ignored it. There was nothing alive here: there couldn’t be.

The trek across the kitchen to the towering door took only a few waddling minutes. Smiley dimly comprehended that the same distance from the stairs to the kitchen had not only taken much longer, but had come at the cost of two very best friends. It… it just wasn’t fair!

Life was so hard when you were little and soft!

There was a cacophony of screams, sirens, and other horrifying noises outside. Terrifying shouts thundered.

Once upon a time, the previous owners of Katie’s home had kept cats. The Big Outside Door held a memory of that: right down nice and close to the floor, as convenient for a fluffy as it could possibly be, was a swinging pet door. While the concept and practice of such a thing was much too abstract for a simple fluffy mind to comprehend, the little black animal was intelligent enough to instinctively push against what amounted to a small coloured square in the middle of a large rectangle.

The small coloured square moved.

Mind numbed by the horrors he’d watched his friends fall to, Smiley struggled to understand.

“Doow? Wet fwuffy out?”

Door remained silent.

He pushed again. The pet door flexed gently.

His little heart kicked up a notch. The noises outside were very scary, but getting to the Humans meant safety! All he had to do was squeeze through and he’d be out of this horrible nightmare!

Excited, he didn’t notice that the blackened ceiling above him was splitting open.

-—

Watching your home burn down is certainly an experience.

Katie was out of tears. The fire was everywhere. It had eaten walls, shattered windows, and blustered filthy black smoke into the starry sky. She could actually see into her bedroom: soft pastels and gentle decals had been replaced with flat, emotionless nothing. Her bed was a dim inferno in a sea of gray.

Her father watched as the town firefighters blasted pressurized water in controlled sprays around the exterior of his property. They’d given up on trying to save the structure almost from the beginning: protecting the pleasant neighbourhood had quickly taken priority. The home he’d made for his family wasn’t just gone: it was being eaten. It felt obscene to watch.

His daughter was inconsolable.

Six years old was a brutal age to learn about death. Any age was, really, but at six it bit hard into your ideas about the universe. When you could actually watch frantic prayers fail as your earliest memories caught fire in front of your eyes, it made you think twice about the existence of higher powers. When you knew, naive as you were, that tiny, innocent creatures in need of rescue were miles beyond your aid, it…

Your soul remembers those things.

When the pet door shivered, Katie’s father didn’t really think much of it. The second floor windows had recently exploded: the roof was engulfed and the walls were licking hungry flames towards his neighbours. His attention to detail was… somewhat lacking.

Katie’s wasn’t.

“DAD!” she howled, desperately snagging the sleeve of her father’s bathrobe. “DAD, IT’S SMILEY!”

He knew it wasn’t. Years later, having carefully reviewed why he’d said what he did, he stood by this: the little black fluffy couldn’t have been at the door.

“Honey, Smiley’s gone. He went away in his sleep. Come here - “

“NO DAD! I CAN SEE HIM!”

Sure, the pet door cut into the kitchen egress had fluttered: that came as no surprise as his home collapsed. He’d carefully immobilized the damn door (those ridiculous animals his daughter loved so much spent most of their lives trying to figure out how to die, after all), but it wasn’t airtight. The heat inside: the cold outside: it was physics.

Kate pulled away from him. Hard. You protect your children from these things, right? A home, on fire, abandoned by first responders, and your little one is fighting to reach it? Only one response.

“Come here, my little love. They’re gone.”

-—

She could actually see Smiley’s soft little hoofsie poking through the pet door. She knew it was him: none of her other babies had his beautiful charcoal fluff. It scrabbled and waved and tried to get her attention.

“HE NEEDS ME, DAD!”

Why wouldn’t he listen?!

-—

Why wouldn’t she listen?!

He’d heard Little Mummah’s cry. He couldn’t see her mad push to rescue him, but he’d recognized the love in her voice. She wanted to save him! She wanted to save all of th – well, those of them that were left! Cosmo and Puffy were sleeping forever, but that still left Lemon, Lime, and their beautiful foals! Why wasn’t she storming her way upstairs to their rescue?

Even with his new understanding of what horror was: even comprehending that the natural world was filled with cold, uncaring, neutral evil, it seemed extremely unfair that the ceiling would choose this particular moment to fall on him.

He didn’t roast against a door like his alabaster friend did. He didn’t spill his guts onto the floor like his lavender friend did. His right weggie simply broke, nice and clean, as a burning chunk of something ugly smashed through him. Crash, snap, and he was down on his stomach, unable to breathe.

It was interesting: his friends had screamed while they were going to the forever sleep, but he didn’t. He could only look at the twisted stump of his weggie and be sad that his time was finally coming.

-—

Katie would’ve been injured in the porch collapse if her father hadn’t been physically holding her back. The entire structure, fire-weakened as it was, came down thunderously with almost no warning whatsoever. A glut of greasy black smoke expelled itself into the cold sky.

-—

Smiley closed his eyes and hoped that death wouldn’t hurt much more than it already did. He settled down onto his tummy and waited for the forever-sleepies to kick in like they had for his friends. Seconds ticked by. His broken leg pulsed hot agony through his body, but darkness didn’t come.

“ee”

There it was again. What an annoying noise. Didn’t they know he was trying to go to the forever-sleep?

“ee”

Sighing heavily, he raised himself onto his three good limbs and tucked his shattered right foreleg against his flank. Exhausted in every way that a creature can be exhausted, he forced himself to move towards the thin, reedy peep.

“ee” Hardly a noise at all.

Somewhat surprised in spite of his stubbornly lackadaisical death, he hobbled to a halt and stared at the pastel blue sink cabinet.

“Fw… fwuffy pony hewe?” he asked tentatively.

“ee”

Annoyed, he stepped forward. Why did it have to be so hard for a good fluffy like him to join his friends in the forever-sleep? Must it be so pointlessly noisy? How silly!

“Smiwey hewe! Siwwy pony otay?”

Before he could ask if the silly pony needed anything else, the voice of an almighty god thundered a response.

PLAYING ‘PINK PONY CLUB’ BY CHAPPELL ROAN

This meant several things. First, that the firefighters hadn’t yet kicked the home’s master breaker, because the Siri in Katie’s kitchen had spent the entire horrifying evening diligently listening for input. Second, that “Siri” was very close to how fluffy ponies pronounced “silly.” Third, that just when you think things can’t get worse, they can get much, much worse.

I KNOW YOU WANTED ME TO STAY

“EEE” Smiley shrieked, hot bile squirting out of his nostrils.

BUT I CAN’T IGNORE THE CRAZY VISIONS OF ME IN LA

“EEE!” he reiterated.

AND I HEARD THAT THERE’S A SPECIAL PLACE

A big fluffy shouldn’t shit himself like this, yet here he was.

WHERE BOYS AND GIRLS CAN ALL BE QUEENS EVERY SINGLE DAY

Smiley pawed frantically at the dishie cabinet door and managed to creak it open: anything to escape that hideous roar.

I’M HAVING WICKED DREAMS OF LEAVING TENNESSEE

“ee”

HEAR SANTA MONICA, I SWEAR IT’S CALLING ME

The little black fluffy boggled at what he saw as agony thundered in his ears.

WON’T MAKE MY MAMA PROUD, IT’S GONNA CAUSE A SCENE

“'uppie… 'ake?” Smiley whispered, voice utterly crushed by the monstrous howl.

SHE SEES HER BABY GIRL, I KNOW SHE’S GONNA SCREAM

A scorched, roasted foal looked up at him plaintively. Its eyes were gory voids.

GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

“hewp 'uppie 'ake.”

YOU’RE A PINK PONY GIRL

Cupcake had made it downstairs after all. A crippled shade of the happy, energetic foal that had delighted her herd lay ruined and plaintive.

FUCK YOU, SMILEY

What?

AND YOU DANCE AT THE CLUB

Huggies made everything better, right? Even when things couldn’t possibly get any worse? Even when your family was burning as they slept their forever sleep?

OH MAMA, I’M JUST HAVING FUN

His unbroken foreleg gently embraced his little friend as he climbed into the sink cabinet.

FUCK YOUR FAMILY, SMILEY

“…'uppie 'ake haf owwies” she whispered to him.

ON THE STAGE IN MY HEELS

“Smiwey hewe, babbeh.” he replied. “Smiwey wuv yu.”

YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL

The filly shivered softly in his arms as she died.

HA

“Gu’ nighty night, 'uppie 'ake. Sweepie tight.”

When the cabinet door swung shut on its spring hinges and hid the horrors that had happened and the horrors that were yet to come, Smiley was too buried in his tiny friend’s blackened flesh to care. When the air went from comfortable to warm to hot to owwie owwie owwie he didn’t make a peep. He hugged the dead filly tighter and thought as hard as he could about what it was like to dance and sing and play and giggle in their happy little safe room.

After all, isn’t that what we all do in our final moments? Try to find our happy place and hold on as tightly as possible?

His last thought was one of water.

-—

It was almost seven in the morning before Katie’s parents dragged their screaming child away from the blaze that had reduced their home to scorched timbers pointing weakly into the night sky. Constant streams of pressurized water had kept the damage from spreading to the neighborhood, but their property was obviously a total loss.

“Jesus tapdancing fuck,” a big man in a black sweater grunted. “That place went up like the fuckin’ Hindenberg.”

“Ayuh,” the older man smoking a cigarette next to him replied. “These new builds do that. They make 'em out of shit, plastic, and more shit. I’ll be goddamned if we don’t all end up with the cancer from inhaling the fumes. Oh hell!” He butted his cigarette angrily. “Look at that stupid kid!”

Stomping forward, he waved his arms angrily: “Watch out for hot spots, Singh!”

A young man in full kit nodded in response, backed up a step, and continued carefully sifting his way through the blackened remnants of what had been a quite lovely modern kitchen just hours prior. His rebreather hissed as he pushed detritus aside in the search for the embers that were so eager to rekindle the inferno. The window above the kitchen sink had shattered from the heat, but the sink, counter, and cabinet beneath it were almost miraculously undamaged.

The big man strutted forward confidently and kicked the cabinet open. He boggled at what he found.

“Well fuck me sideways, my Punjabi compadre, that’s a first!”

Singh clenched his eyes shut at the sight. His coworker had no such issues.

“Did we actually just find two fluffy ponies that managed to drown in the middle of a house fire?!” John roared. “Dave! Darryl! You gotta come see this shit!”

The story became firehouse legend. As a truly epic inferno engulfed a suburban home, a gaggle of brave fluffies had somehow managed to escape the death trap of their safe room, trek across a horror-filled gauntlet, avoid an entire gamut of hideous ways to shuffle off this mortal coil, only to have the most resilient of them all manage to somehow go to a watery grave in a cupboard when the cheap plastic plumbing lines that the homeowner had installed burst from the heat. An inch of overchlorinated municipal water had undone an inconceivable lifetime of fluffy effort.

Three men howled with laughter at the soaked, limp corpses. One did not. He couldn’t tear his eyes from how, even in death, the little black fluffy still held the tiny roasted foal tightly in a tight hug.

“Can you believe it? Only a fucking fluffy could manage this.”

21 Likes

Great ending. Love the tragicomedy aspect.

2 Likes

This should be a lesson to us all: death is often quite silly.

Although-- where did the babbeh come from? I thought all of the foals were cooked in the safe room with their parents.

An inch of water!

Brilliant story. I had hoped so much for Smiley to actually make it out.

Absolute literature. Amazing.

1 Like

If you go back to chapter three, you’ll find that Lime simply offered Cupcake to the flames: we didn’t know what they decided to do with her. (Until now.)

Ooh, right. Thanks!