“I promise you! Next year will be my greatest performance ever!”
Those words pounded in the thoughts of the stadium’s crowd. The crowd erupted into cheer as the living legend walked onto the field.
Dave Grohl (No relation) was an absolute Titan of a man. He stood a foot taller and weighed in a hundred pounds heavier than the next largest contestant. His chiseled jawline was as close to Giga-Chad as possible without experimental surgery.
Despite 5 years of consecutive wins Dave had his stiffest competition this year.
One of the abusers present at the games had kept a microfluff in a clear plastic container then force-fed it to another fluffy. By the time it passed through to the other side the microfluff had already entered into a wan-die loop. The mare on the other hand died when an edge of the plastic container tore the inside of her stomach. He would be awarded the bronze medal for this act.
Another was already having chatters of taking home the silver. This was guaranteed with his performance. Four mummahs, each attached to one another by a rope around their neck. Four speakers blared the sound of their foals screeching “CHIIIRP CHIIIRP! MUMMAH! MONSTER!” In their urgency to save their babbehs the collective force along with the ropes snapped each of their necks.
Dave however brought no such special items, no unique fluffies, not even a sorry stick to use. Even the crowd started to murmur to themselves once he walked into the sound-proof container that held his fluffy.
“Sprinkles” or “Spwinkews” as the fluffy referred to himself was your average decently taken care of fluffy. No sketties, small safe-room, inexpensive toys. The life was a paradise to him of course. His owner made a pretty penny off of selling such a pony to the Abuselympics.
The five time champion walked with a confident strut towards the fluffy. The little pink furred creature veaming with a wide smile.
“Nyu Daddeh!?” The fluffy asked, running up to Dave.
The physical manifestation of a chad lifted the fluffy into his arms. He gave the fluffy a quick hug, patting his hand on Sprinkle’s back.
“~~~” Dave whispered to the fluffy. It was so quiet that even the microphones inside their room couldn’t pick up what he said.
He then gently set the fluffy down and walked out of the room. He was met with nearly 10,000 people giving him thunderous boos. One man was shouting boo-urns yet it was mostly drowned out. The razor wire fences of the stadium nearly gave way before the Fluffy’s voice left the crown silent.
“NUUUUUUU!!!” Sprinkles shouted, a torrent of tears dropping down his face.
Without hesitation the fluffy started to savagely pummel its own face. It took only a few moments before the fluffy’s lip was busted open and large welts covered its cheeks. Within 30 seconds Sprinkle’s eyes were swollen shut from the trauma.
“DAT AM WIE! DADDEH AM WIAR!” Sprinkles continued to shout. Her “daddeh” simply looked stone-faced at his work.
Sprinkles then ran straight forward at the wall where his daddeh left. The microphones picked up a loud THUMP as the fluffy’s head hit the wall. The first impact broke the unicorn’s horn off of his head. Several more crashes into the wall left the fluffy with a crater where his horn was.
“TEWW BABBLEH DUH TWUBTH! MUMSTRAH DADBLEH WIE!” The fluffy derped himself, his horn stump going into his head clearly causing a lobotomy.
Sprinkles to longer even talked. Instead he continued to eviscerated himself as best as he could.
Sprinkles did his best to gnaw off his weggies, managing to sever one. The other had its flesh peeled to the bone from Sprinkle’s teeth. Once the deed was done the fluffy bent himself over. With no hesitation Sprinkles chewed off his genitals like a panicked hamster.
The only thing close to words that came from the fluffie’s mouth were drowned out by the sound of Sprinkles gargling his own blood. He had managed to bite off his own tongue as an end to his psychosis. After a solid minute of panicked spasms the fluffy drowned in his own blood.
No one in the crowd said anything after seeing these events. Instead one man started to clap at the sight. Another man joined in with him. Before long the entire stadium erupted with thunderous applause. Dave simply threw his tree-trunk like arm in the air to accept his praise.
“Dave! Dave! Dave! That was the most spectacular form of psychological abuse I’ve ever seen!” The judge of the competition said, running up to Dave to shake his hand.
“Yes.” The gold medalist replied. The judge’s hand was instantly crushed by the casual handshake that Dave gave him.
“What on earth did you say to that thing? A psychological break down like that usually takes months!” The judge further complimented Dave.
Dave simply cracked a smile at the judge causing a few women in the audience to give birth once they saw him. He then leaned in closely to the judge as to say the same thing to the crowd that he said to Sprinkles.
“Sketties aren’t real.”
