The Hewwo Mat, by Disastrous Apricot

From the makers of the Fluffy Hewwo Bell and the Smarty Alarm comes this new twist on the traditional welcome mat.


Yes, this is what the world needs: a doormat that starts crying every time it rains.

Bet it would be a big seller in the UK…


Hewwo Mat Fluffy: “Wawa bad fo’ fwuffyyyy!”
Moi: *pouring water on the mat “hehehe”


I am from the UK and I will take ten please!!


Hewwo huumin, pweeze, whipe shoesies, fwuffy skul pewfek to cweenies shoesies. Wikie kweenies shoesies too, besses kween shoesies, foh otta fife huumins wub wikie kweenies foh shoesies!! Ooo, ou hab pointy shoesies, pweese shub im fwuffy butt, wiww kweenies shoesies too!!

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If I grab it by the back legs and beat the fuck out of it against the wall to shake the dust loose, will it feel any pain or will it understand that this is just something that happens?

Because if I can’t have a doormat that screams I’m not interested.


Might have a jaw strong enough to hold onto a clothesline so you can whack it a few times to clean it. Though I wouldn’t use a pressure washer cleaning on this welcome mat like you can others.

Perhaps you’d be more interested in a modified Screaming Roomba