The Hubris of Flight
Part Four
He was kneeling next to his sister, Amanda. She was barely a year younger than he was. They were inseperable. The best of friends. Unlike most siblings, they hardly ever fought. Their parents were so proud of their well-behaved pre-teens.
The boxes were placed side by side under the noble fir. The living room was still dim at this early hour, illuminated primarily by the strands of soft yellow lights which spiraled around the tree. The smell of cut pine and their fathers fresh brewed coffee, a faint trace of last nights ham dinner.
His box was green with red ribbon. Hers was red with green ribbon. They already knew what was in the boxes, of course. They had been asking for months. They had begged their parents for weeks, months even. They had spoken of responsibility. Of upkeep, of uppies and walkies and poopies and peepees and every other cutesy term for the numerous chores associated with pet ownership.
Their mother and father shared a soft kiss, causing the kids to groan in protest. Dad laughed and playfully shouted “oh get on with it, open those boxes!”
Their fingers were like talons in that moment, shredding paper and ribbon alike. Both kids lifted the lids and stared in astonishment at the small miracles contained inside.
They were both foals, eyes not yet opened. Hers was a filly, deep blue like waters of the North Atlantic. A unicorn. His was a colt, pure white like undisturbed snow. A pegasus.
The children loved their fluffies, and the fluffies loved their children. The tiny peeps and chirps were music to the childrens ears. The next several weeks were bliss. The foals were weaned on formula until their eyes opened. The wobbly first steps. The euphoric expressions as they ran for the first time.
The unicorn kept her deep blue fluff, and her narrow mane and tail were jet black.
The pegasus remained pure white, his thick mane and tail the same color.
The children thought about names for weeks. They considered the typical “A + B” names, where they make sense when you hear them both, but decided against that. They also decided against cartoonish names, or names that reflected the fluffs color rather than their personalities. They decided to pick human names for their fluffs. After weeks of deliberation, they had decided. They gathered the fluffs and had a small ceremony in the living room, with tiny cupcakes to celebrate.
The unicorn was named Monica.
The pegasus was named Gabriel.
“fwuffies wuv nu namesies, tankee su much”
Amanda and Monica were inseperable, as were Adam and Gabriel. The four young friends played together constantly.
Although the fluffs were purchased from the same display pen at FluffMart, it was unknown if they were siblings. Not wanting litters, it was decided that one of the fluffs would be fixed. The childrens father decided to have Monica spayed rather than having Gabriel castrated. It was a simple outpatient procedure, and the fluff was brought home with a small incision on her tummy and a frown on her face. Her mood was brightened by huggies from the kids, and Gabriel, as well as spaghetti and painkillers.
The parents had already spoken to their children about the birds and the bees. They figured the kids might be able to learn something by caring for hormonal pubescent pets. After a secondary talk with the children about the facts of life, specifically sexual urges and the importance of consent, it was decided that Monica and Gabriel were allowed to be special friends.
The children didn’t have to tell the fluffies twice.
Months passed and the fluffs and children had fallen into a comfortable routine. The fluffies were natural confidants, and the children told them everything.
One afternoon, the fluffs were playing in the summer sun, enjoying the manicured lawn in the sprawling fenced-in backyard. Amanda and Adam sat on lounge chairs and were playfully arguing over which fluffy was better. Amanda argued that Monica was much prettier, much faster, and believe it or not much smarter as well. The twelve year old girl was wholly unprepared when her brother responded that his fluffy was better because of the things it said. Because it spoke to him. Promised things to him. Shared visions with him. His fluffy was better because it was the voice of God.
“W-what?” Amanda asked, confused. Her brother had never joked like this before. She watched as Adam shook his head slightly and opened his eyes wider. He seemed like he was just as surprised and confused as she was. He grinned and laughed awkwardly before saying he was “just joking around”. Amanda was happy to play along, glad the awkward moment had passed.
Weeks later, Amanda was laying in bed and heard Monica whinnying softly in her bedside kennel. Amanda leaned over and looked at her pet, asking what was wrong. Monica whinnied nervously.
“Fwuffy nu wan spechuw fwend tu get huwties”
Amanda was confused. Why would Gabriel get hurt? Adam loved Gabriel.
“Huu huu, pwomise tu nu get spechuw fwiend in twouble? Mummahs bwuddah towd spechuw fwend a secwet…”
Amanda’s curiosity was piqued. What could Adam have told Gabriel that was causing Monica to be upset?
“Mummah bwuddah says dat he an spechuw fwend am gunnah fwy.”
Amanda smiled and sighed. It was normal for pegasus fluffies to imagine they could fly. Gabriel loved to be picked up and held aloft as the children ran in the backard. He would spread his tiny wings and stretch his legs out in front of him, his eyes focused in concentration. Amanda told Monica there was nothing to be concerned about.
“Huu mummah nu unnahstand. Spechuw fwend say dat mummah bwuddah gunna fwy fuh weal. He and spechuw fwend awe gun twy tu fwy fu weal an… huuu huuu” the mare sobbed quietly before continuing “Mawnica knu dat wingeh-fwuffs nu can fwy. Nu fwuffs can fwy, onwy birdehs can fwy…”
Amanda was surprised at her fluffs intelligence. Maybe unicorns really were smarter?
“Mawnica tink mummah bruddah have sickies in his thinky-pwace, an- an… an he gunna huwt spechuw fwend by twyin tu fwy fu weal”.
Amanda’s heart sank. She immediately recalled her interaction with Adam from several weeks ago. She didn’t know what to think, or to say. She softly stroked Monicas mane while the fluffy huu huued softly, talking about how excited she was to one day get tummeh babbehs and have wots of babbehs and give them so much wuv.
Amanda decided to confront Adam about it the following day. It was summer vacation, and the kids were home alone. The fluffies were upstairs in Amandas room and, judging by the soft rhthmic enf enf enf, were enjoying the alone time. The children were finishing breakfast.
“Are you telling Gabriel he can fly?”
Adam froze and looked up at his sister suspiciously.
“Who told you that?”
“I heard him talking about it”, Amanda lied, figuring it was reasonable to believe the pegasus would talk about flying.
Adam shrugged. “He’s the one who talks about flying. I can’t get him to shut up about it.”
Amanda figured this made sense, and began to think Monica was being dramatic the previous night. “Yeah, he’s a pegasus, thats what they do I guess.”
Adam nodded, standing to clear his plate. Amanda watched him for a moment. He seemed normal. Maybe a little tired, which was odd, because it was summer break and they could sleep in as late as they wanted. Adam stood with his back to her, washing his plate and putting it in the sink to dry. He spoke softly.
“It would be really cool though, wouldn’t it.”
Amanda raised an eyebrow. “What would be cool?”
He looked at her. He was crying now. But he wasn’t sad. He looked… happy. So very very happy. Like a bride on her wedding day, she thought.
“Flying” he said wistfully.
Months passed. Amanda had spoken to her parents who had in turn spoken to Adam. They diagnosed him as “weird” and told the kids to keep up the good work regarding their fluffy care. Adam had initially been mad at Amanda for thinking he was weird, but she told him she loved him and wanted him to be happy.
She promised not to tell her parents about anything else that happened. That made Adam very happy.
It was late fall when it happened. The fluffs were probably about a year old at this point. The kids were back in school. The routine was well established: the fluffs shared a saferoom during the day, the kids would clean up and play with the fluffs after school. It would be one of the last days warm enough to play in the backyard before winter.
Amanda and Monica were inside. She was cleaning up the litterbox while Adam and Gabriel were preparing nummies for the fluffs.
She didn’t realize what she was hearing when she heard it. It was a combination of things. A yell and a cry. A thud. A snap. A crunch. A grunt. A short silence followed by a loud wail. Monica shook and began to run towards the back door, which was equipped with a fluffy door. Amanda followed. Through the glass she could see Adam and Gabriel laying on the lawn.
They did not look right. They looked misshapen and deformed.
The next several moments were a blur to her. The dread as she saw her brother, broken and bleeding. The realization that he had leapt from the roof of their three story home. The exposed bone and the flowing blood. The jagged way in which he was breathing. The white mass of fluff near his outstretched hand. The rictus grin on Gabriels face. His final euphoric moment forever imprinted on his ruined visage. The broken hearted sobs of Monica as she clutched her dead mate. The mad dash to the house phone. The frantic 9-1-1 call. The agonizing moments spent kneeling by Adams side as the ambulance sirens got closer and closer. The questions the paramedics asked that she didn’t know the answers to. Holding a hysterical Monica in her arms while a police officer called her parents at work.
It was the worst day of her life.
The doctors would tell her parents that Adam had a long road to recovery.
But they were talking about his body.
Other doctors would talk about his mind. They would use big words she didn’t yet understand, and they offered no hope at all.
There was no road to recovery.
Her brother Adam as she knew him was gone forever.
[The following excerpt from the DSM-IV is for reference only, and does not contain content specific to this story. Feel free to skim this portion, or skip to the next chapter.]
Disorder Class: Schizophrenia Spectrum and Other Psychotic Disorders
A. Characteristic symptoms: Two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated):
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delusions
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hallucinations
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disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence)
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grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior
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negative symptoms (i.e., affective flattening, alogia, or avolition)
Note: Only one Criterion A symptom is required if delusions are bizarre or hallucinations consist of a voice keeping up a running commentary on the person’s behavior or thoughts, or two or more voices conversing with each other.
B. Social/occupational dysfunction: For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, one or more major areas of functioning such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care are markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset (or when the onset is in childhood or adolescence, failure to achieve expected level of interpersonal, academic, or occupational achievement).
C. Duration: Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least 6 months. This 6-month period must include at least 1 month of symptoms (or less if successfully treated) that meet Criterion A (i.e., active-phase symptoms) and may include periods of prodromal or residual symptoms. During these prodromal or residual periods, the signs of the disturbance may be manifested by only negative symptoms or two or more symptoms listed in Criterion A present in an attenuated form (e.g., odd beliefs, unusual perceptual experiences).
D. Schizoaffective and Mood Disorder exclusion: Schizoaffective Disorder and Mood Disorder With Psychotic Features have been ruled out because either (1) no Major Depressive, Manic, or Mixed Episodes have occurred concurrently with the active-phase symptoms; or (2) if mood episodes have occurred during active-phase symptoms, their total duration has been brief relative to the duration of the active and residual periods.
E. Substance/general medical condition exclusion: The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition.
F. Relationship to a Pervasive Developmental Disorder: If there is a history of Autistic Disorder or another Pervasive Developmental Disorder, the additional diagnosis of Schizophrenia is made only if prominent delusions or hallucinations are also present for at least a month (or less if successfully treated).
Classification of longitudinal course (can be applied only after at least 1 year has elapsed since the initial onset of active-phase symptoms):
Episodic With Interepisode Residual Symptoms (episodes are defined by the reemergence of prominent psychotic symptoms).
Paranoid Type (295.30): A type of Schizophrenia in which the following criteria are met:
A. Preoccupation with one or more delusions or frequent auditory hallucinations.
B. None of the following is prominent: disorganized speech, disorganized or catatonic behavior, or flat or inappropriate affect.
Disorganized Type (295.10): A type of Schizophrenia in which the following criteria are met:
A. All of the following are prominent:
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disorganized speech
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disorganized behavior
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flat or inappropriate affect
Catatonic Type (295.20): A type of Schizophrenia in which the clinical picture is dominated by at least two of the following:
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motoric immobility as evidenced by catalepsy (including waxy flexibility) or stupor
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excessive motor activity (that is apparently purposeless and not influenced by external stimuli)
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extreme negativism (an apparently motiveless resistance to all instructions or maintenance of a rigid posture against attempts to be moved) or mutism
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peculiarities of voluntary movement as evidenced by posturing (voluntary assumption of inappropriate or bizarre postures), stereotyped movements, prominent mannerisms, or prominent grimacing
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echolalia or echopraxia
Undifferentiated Type (295.90): A type of Schizophrenia in which symptoms that meet Criterion A are present, but the criteria are not met for the Paranoid, Disorganized, or Catatonic Type.
Residual Type (295.60): A type of Schizophrenia in which the following criteria are met:
A. Absence of prominent delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech, and grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior.
B. There is continuing evidence of the disturbance, as indicated by the presence of negative symptoms or two or more symptoms listed in Criterion A for Schizophrenia, present in an attenuated form (e.g., odd beliefs, unusual perceptual experiences).