The Incident at Fluffcafe (Ace)

It was just another day at the Fluffcafe, an off-shoot of Fluffmart that appeared in all ways to be a Starbucks designed by a toddler. The place had incredibly crappy burnt coffee for humans along with a menu of trendy cream-based drinks for fluffies to enjoy, along with a selection of baked goods that would appear to the little furry weirdos. There was a little play area they could goof around in, televisions with FluffTV on (quietly), and littertrays so they would hopefully keep the place hygienic.

Not counting the employees, there were three humans in the place when the incident went down. Mark Ambrose and his wife, Krystal. Both sporting an incredibly fake tan, blonde hair, and teeth which were way too white. They were at the cafe with their precious mare, a fat pink & purple bitch named Gigi. She had three chirpies clinging to her back: A blue colt named Pipi, an orange filly named Kiki, and a brown filly named Didi. Yes, they were that annoying to name them all that. The Ambroses were shitlords. They were here to celebrate Gigi having given birth to the future hellspawn, as if that were an accomplishment all in itself.

The other visitor was a young woman named Katie Banks. A diminutive frame, mousy brown hair, thick-framed glasses and a frumpy sweater. She was with a fluffy, a sky blue & white Forever Foal named Booberry. The oversized baby was crammed into a high chair, bulky diaper soaked through with piss and wearing a bib that read ‘Mama’s Widdew Guy!’. Cake was smeared all over his face and he drooled like a retard on Quaaludes, eyes glazed over and staring at FluffTV or maybe just the wall. He wasn’t making noise and that was good enough for Katie.

Running the shop was just some dude. He doesn’t matter. In fact, once everything goes down he just slips out the back and has a cigarette. He doesn’t get paid enough to care or even feature himself in this story.

“Teehee! Gigi wub bestest tastee cookie! Yaayyy!” The new mummah slurped up another heavily frosted sugar cookie into her gaping maw, shooting crumbs everywhere as she proudly announced that this would help with her milk production.

“Boobewwy! Boobewwy!” Screeched the Forever Foal from his high chair perch, apparently quite satisfied with the sound of his own name. Just then!

The sliding door slid open. Slowly. It was very anti-climatic but a villain walked up into the joint. It was an amply bodied man wearing a pair of filthy jeans and a stained T-shirt that read ‘NO FAT CHICKS’ which swelled out with his gut and man-tits. Crammed over his face was a plastic Cinnamummah mask that he’d gotten from a party store, his bald head shining in the light of the cafe. Clutched between sausage-like fingers was a gun shaped stick that he had spraypainted silver, though it wasn’t like these yuppie fucks would know a gun from their own dicks.

“Alright you sons of bitches! None of you move! I don’t wanna see no phones!” Waving the gun-shaped stick around wildly, he moved around the dining area.

“Oh my God! Mark, it’s the Fluffy Fiend! Oh, Jesus!” Krystal began to FREAK out because this was the man which the local news had dubbed the ‘Fluffy Fiend’. He’d been reported to show up places where they hung out and caused chaos each time.

“I…I know honey. Just calm down. When I get an in…” Mark narrowed his eyes with determination as Gigi the fluffy pissed all over the floor in fear.

“I think you know why I’m here today. Because I HATE fluffies! How’s this feel, you li’l shithead!?” Walking over to Booberry’s highchair and grabbing up scraps of cake, he lifted up his Cinnamummah mask and gave everyone clear view of his real identity. Whatever you’re imagining is right. He shoved it into his mouth.

“Wan nummies! Wan nummies! Pwease nice mistah wan nummies! I’M GOING TO FREAK OUT IF YOU DON’T FEED ME.” Frosting slathered fingers tugged the mask back over his face. Booberry began crying and waving his front hooves around.

“Mummah! Mummah! Dun wike bad man! He am bad man! Huuu….am omwy widdew babbeh! HUUUHUUUHUU!”

Katie looked up from her phone, giving a disgusted sigh.“Listen, I just babysit him.”

The Fluffy Fiend stroked a stubble of his bristly neckbeard, tucking a croc covered foot up onto the table. He leaned in. “You’re such a beautiful girl. Do you use Reddit?”

Katie was back on her phone. “No. Leave me alone, holy shit.”

“Hmph. I will.” Looking to the Forever Foal, now suckling on his hoof and with a newly filled stinky diaper, the rogue reached over and tipped the high chair over. The fluffy crashed to the floor but was amazingly safe, though it didn’t stop him from screeching and crying like the little baby bitch that he was.

“Now, you…” Turning on the Ambroses and their fluffies, he couldn’t even raise his gun-shaped stick before Mark got up from the table in a sprint.

“Oh my God Mark! Nooooo! Don’t be a hero!” Krystal got out before her husband caught a penny loafer in the puddle of Gigi’s piss, skidded across the dining room, flipped over the counter and cracked his head. He was now out for the count, defeated by the Fluffy Fiend.

“Ah. Don’t worry. I don’t hurt humans. Only fluffies.” Stalking up to the cowering Gigi, her chirpies clinging to her back fluff and giving peeps as they were wont to do, he gave a sinister smile.

“Don’t hurt her! She’s my little fluffy!” Krystal begged, and the Fluffy Fiend shoved his pants down and bent over Gigi. The fluffy looked up in horror, backed up to a wall.

“Mummah! Nuuu! Stinky pwace! Poopy pwace! EEEEE! Mummah hewp!” Gigi shook and shivered, the man cackling.

“This is what you get! THIS IS WHAT YOU FUCKIN’ DESERVE!” The fiend absolutely dropped ass on the mare and her chirpies. An eruption of stink that covered all of them. Sorry-poopies? These were war poopies. A declaration of hate on each and every one of the fluffies. Gigi collapsed on the floor, screaming and flailing her hooves around.

“NU AM PWETTY! NU AM PWETTY! MUMMAH! MUMMAH!” Gigi gagged and heaved as the man took one of her chirpies and wiped his ass with it, flicking the foal back down to it’s mother afterwards. Backing off toward the sliding door, he’d turn and run out of the cafe.

Katie was on the phone with her employer. “Hey, some fat retard just shit all over the cafe and tipped over Booberry. No, he’s OK. Fine if I go back to your place?”

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Wow. I, uh. I.

If you need an ID, that’s my ex.

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DummehExHusband sounds like a real gem lol

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The fuck did I just read?

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A fat man holding a place hostage with a stick, bullying a baby, and shitting on a new mother

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Le heckin epic reddit moment so soy based-pilled

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Something out of a old robot chiken episode

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And all of it was well deserved!

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“Now I am become defecate, destroyer of fluffs” - Cloppenheimer

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