Henri sits at his kitchen table eating breakfast. Checking his hotmail account for what he’s supposed to be doing for work today. Reading the email Henri started to grin. Finally some good news he thinks to himself. Because of a electrical failure at the Chicago Hasbio research compound all unnecessary power expenditures including training courses needed to be cut until power can be restored. Henri had been granted a free day off. Relaxing slightly Henri would clean up and walk around his house thinking of what furniture he should buy and how he would decorate his house. Henri hears his phone ringing its his uncle Louis the head researcher for the entire fluffy project.
The following conversation is in French. With great effort the author has translated all the nuances, poetry, beauty, and subtly of French Manitoban language and culture into English.
Louis : Henri, what in tarnation is up with yer gettin a fluffy? Discourse to me, pronto!
Henri: Fer some reasoneth I can’t quite git, it seems I be cursed with a fluffy.
Louis: Y’all aught clue how much dang trouble we’re in right anon? Someone doth spilled the beans to Brian… he’s the big patron, ya knoweth!
Henri: What in tarnation was I s’posed to doth about this? Thee bethink I need a fluffy at which hour I dont coequal hast a couch yet?
Louis: Anon hush up and lendeth me yer ears, Henri. We did get ourselves a meetin’ on Friday with Martinez, George, and Brian. Keepeth yer yap shut and alloweth me doth the chattin’, aight? I did get this all figured out, so don’t fret none as longeth as ya followeth mine own leadeth.
Henri: I comprehendth
Louis: Reckon thee oughta grabeth yourself a purty suiteth, seein’ as how thee did get the day free and all.
Henri: (Untranslatable grunting sound)
Louis: Valorous! Y’all fixin’ to cometh on ov’r fer supper tonight?
Henri: shur nuff
Henri hangs up the phone
“merde” Henri mutters. His master plan will have to be accelerated.
“Merde” He says louder. He remembers the existence of the fluffy which plagues his thoughts. Walking downstairs clad in his bathrobe and holding his hands behind his back Henri mind races and ponders. He respects and loves his uncle but he does not agree with him. Henri will try to prove he is competent by designing a toy. After all Brian the CEO of Hasbio should only care about money and he will prove he can make them money he concludes. Henri knows that designing a toy requires actually understanding what fluffies do something that still eludes him.
Henri enters his fluffies saferoom. Yet again this thing shit on his floor. However this time its only on its bed. He isnt sure if this is a improvement or not. Perhaps fluffies are incontinent he wonders. He observes the fluffy covering its face with its fore legs. His 2 days of experience falsely made him think that’s how fluffies sleep. Henri quietly moves around his former spare bedroom trying to use logic to determine what he should create based on the toys and the self admitted limited knowledge of fluffies he possesses. Sighing Henri bregrugendly knows he has to actually interact with the genetic quagmire of god’s creations.
“Bonjou-” Henri stops himself signing again remembering he has to speak English which only annoyed him slightly “Morning my pet” he corrects himself.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
“AM GUD FWUFFY PWEASE NU GIB HURTIES SCAWY MUNSTAH” The mare shrieks being awoken from her nightmares of some terrible one eyed Minotaur trying to eat her. Yet curiously remains motionless since like most fluffies they believe if they cant see you you cant see them. Henri however concludes that these things must constantly have nightmares rather then being scared of the dark.
“Fluffy. get up and face me. I Fu” Henri stops himself not sure if he should be swearing in English around the fancy talking pet “Please get up” he corrects himself.
“DADDEH? FWUFFY AM SU HAPPIES! DEWE IS SCAWY MUNSTAH TWYING NUM GUD FWUFFY” she scream cries at Henri before running towards him. She gives him a deep ankle hug. Smiling and tearing up in joy that her beloved owner is here to save her from the imaginary monster that he was responsible for creating.
Henri remains silent. Although this time its because his inquisitive mind is observing every tiny detail of what the fluffy is doing and saying rather then it being anger from fecal induced destruction she has brought to his house.
“Yes… uhh whatever” He didnt really understand or care to much about the monster attack his fluffy claimed to survive. Could be a nightmare he thought to himself. The possibility of his own actions unintentionally causing any of his current fluffy related problems never crossed his mind. “What do you do for fun?” He asks the fluffy still unsure of how he should talk to this creature.
“Fwuffy pway gamesie wif fwuffy fwends an pway baww an pway wif stuffie fwiend an pway huggie tag. fwuffy wub huggie tag! Fwuffy pway hide-an-peekies an wif bwockies. Fwuffy stacked twee bwockies befowe!” She exclaims pridefully as if that would be something Henri would consider impressive before continuing. "Fwuffy wub pway wif hoomans! Dey pway funsie games wike twickwing an wet fwuffies watch fwuff-TV an biggest huggies an gib wub! She stops for a second before continuing “daddeh wan pway gamsie wif fwuffy?” She exclaims to henri.
He thinks about what the fluffy told him… it should have been obvious based on the toys and what people do with kittens based on the videos he’s seen on YouTube. “Sure” He cautiously replies. Henri didnt know why it made him feel uneasy to talk to an animal regardless if it was speaking in French.
“Pway hide-an-peekies?” she asks Henri cheerfully coquing her head slightly to act cute. Henri however growing up as a rancher knew animals and his instincts rightfully guessed that the head coquing was preprogramed behavior his uncle created based on how unnatural the act looked to him.
“Of course I will play with you” Henri attempts to sound as happy as he can. Although he did sound slightly confused as I dont think I can stress enough how strange Henri feels talking to a animal. The fluffy looks up at Henri with the biggest smile he has ever seen on a fluffy which to be fair isnt that large. He makes a mental note about how these creatures are hyper social with even the barest of interactions causing great joy.
“Alright il count” Henri tells the fluffy before turning around to face the corner of the room. Henri ponders at how dumb it is to play hide and seek in his empty spare bedroom. He obviously knew that these animals would be stupid when compared to a human, but their lack of situational, and environmental awareness is astounding.
“Ten” Henri finishes the count and turns around. The fluffy of course isnt that hard to spot being in the corner of the room not even slightly obfuscated by any object covering her eyes with her hooves to hide from her owner. Fluffies seem to be fond of this position he thinks to himself. The mare is giggling and talking to herself having an incredible amount of fun. It has been one and a half days since it has actually played with anyone or with any toys because Henri only returned them at night when he shut off the lights to her safe room.
“Daddeh nebah fin fwuffy fwuffy am bestest at hidin” She tells herself with full bravado. Henri remains silent observing peacefully how the fluffy reacts to stimuli.
“Fwuffy su gud at hiddin am bestest fwuffy at hidin. Scawy munstahs nebah fin fwuffy” She continues to babble to herself.
“Imbécile” Henri thinks to himself.
“Fwuffy wub pwaying hide-an-peekies wif daddeh” She continues to babble on. Henri can only take so much of this artificially high pitch faux baby talk. Still he did feel at this point some pride in being related to the genius that created these things from scratch. James Watson may have discovered the double helix but it will be a Frenchmen who perfected genetics he gloats eternally to noone.
“Found you” Henri says as he points to the fluffy sick and tired of the noise it creates.
“How u fin fwuffy? Fwuffy am su gud at hidin” She asks Henri with a confused expression on her face.
“…” Henri didnt know how to respond to that.
“Fwuffy tuwn” she exclaims happily to Henri. It seemed strange to Henri that a creature which thinks that its hiding from monsters everyday can somehow not be disturbed that he managed to find her within 30 seconds.
The fluffy turns around facing the wall still giggling and having a tremendous fun. Henri didnt understand how it could be fun. Apparently the concept of having the first social interaction with another creature after being neglected for 2 days being considered fun to hyper social creature like a fluffy didnt occur to him. Although to be fair to Henri he never owned a dog or a cat and his animal handling skills while extensive is only with livestock which he would kill and consume without a second thought.
“One” the fluffy says in its high pitch voice. Henri looks to his closet to the only possible hiding place in this room.
“Two” the fluffy continues counting as Henri moves to the closet
“Fwee” The fluffy counts aloud as Henri enters his close
“Fouw” she continues as Henri shuts the closet door slightly in order to be hidden whilst still being opened enough so that the fluffy could enter the closet if it desired.
The fluffy stops counting she starts mumble something under her breath. Henri didnt know what she said nor really cared. He just felt stupid just standing in his closet.
“Fwuffy nu wemembah what comes aftah fouw” She says disappointed in herself for a second. Henri was completely baffled he literally counted to ten barely thirty seconds ago. How the fuck is making your pet more retarded just so it cant count properly to be cute be beneficial to anyone he wonders.
“Fwuffy gonna fin daddeh” the fluffy exclaims triumphantly before turning around.
“Wewe daddeh?” she asks immediately afterwards. Henri kept cursing the intelligence of these critters in his mind.
Henri could see the fluffy threw the crack between the folding closet door. He watched as the fluffy wandered around the room.
“Is daddeh hewe?” she asks walking around the red ball searching for him as if he could be behind it. She continues her search for her owner before reaching her bed.
“daddeh must be unda da nestie pwace.” She lifts her bed. Her shit rolling off the back of it and onto the floor. Surprisingly for once Henri blamed himself for this as he knew these things were retarded and he didn’t clean her bed before.
“Wewe Daddeh? Hewwo daddeh?” she asks Henri who was all but invisible to the poor fluffy. She starts to get worried and starts pacing around the room quicker lifting blocks up to check if Henri was under it somehow under it.
“Nu wike dis game” She says to herself as if protesting reality itself. Henri remains dumbfounded about the whole situation taking place in front of him.
She starts moving slower now. Her eyes darting around the room desperately searching everywhere but the dark and “scary” closet. Her mind races and panics at the terrible thoughts the fearful fluffy can think. What if the Minotaur with one red eye ate her owner? at first she tries to ignore those bad thoughts. Bad things dont happen to good fluffies everybody knows this she reassures herself.
“daddeh pwease nu wike hide-an-peekies nu mowe.” she begs Henri to come out of his hiding spot. But Henri right now remains silent his curiosity of what will happen next getting the better of him. All of a sudden silence for a few seconds Henri watched and the fluffy froze in place.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
She yells as she starts to darting around the room. Projectile diarrhea flies everywhere as she runs around in a frenzy. Henri remains silent unable to process what the fuck is going on around him.
“MUNSTAH NUMMED DADDEH” she shrieks. before darting to her bed at full speed with a trial of shit following her. She scampers under her bed and covering her eyes with her hooves a position she has become quite accustomed too after moving into Henri spare bedroom.
“..eh… je… am here fluffy” Henri finally announces his presence. His bewilderment of what just transpired in front of him kept him unusually docile and his accent thick as molasses.
“HEWP DADDEH MUNSTAH” she shrieks still cowering and shivering under her bed unable to shake the fear that the monster is in the room with her.
“Fucking fuck you little fucking whorish fuck” Henri muttering under his breath aslow rage building inside him as he opens the closet door quickly in one big motion revealing his presence in dramatic fashion to the fluffy
“Where is this monster pet” Henri snarls to the fluffy he refuses name his voice filled with malice and contempt.
The Fluffy cowers deeper into her hiding pose. She calls out to him “Daddeh?” but the fear in her voice is even noticed by Henri. The fluffy didn’t recognize Henri voice when he speaks English with a French accent. This only infuriates Henri more as he wonders why does this animal will not listen to him. He is a rancher one animal should be effortless for him to raise. His inability to get it to not shit on his floor and its general stupidity short circuits his brain as he tries to process what to do next.
“Who the fu-” he stops himself thinking about how its best to not teach this thing how to swear. “Who else… you. you you..” Henri stammers his thoughts filled with swears and violence. He thinks for split second about killing her and saying that she died accidentally. But Henri isnt aware of how fragile and death prone fluffies are yet. He wrongly believes Hasbio morticians will be very suspicious if he claims she died falling down the stairs. He also wrongly believes Hasio has dedicated morticians to do autopsies on fluffies. Had the PETA breakout not occurred Henri would have actually been the guy dissecting fluffies for his uncles research purposes but that is beyond the scope of this story.
The Blue mare finally gains enough confidence to peak and sees Henri staring at her from the closet now open. The intense staring from Henri with his blank emotionless face a sign of aggressive behaviour in humans is lost on most Fluffies who are far too foreign to the natural world to understand the primal threat. She instead registers the loving eye contact as giving a little bit of love to her as she remains desperate for human attention.
“dat wewe daddeh hiddin?” She asks her fear completely evaporating after seeing her brave and “loving” owner. She crawls from under her fluffy bed and gets up before facing Henri. Henri could not bare to look at this animal anymore and starts walking towards the door unable to remain calm.
“wewe daddeh goin?” she asks Henri who simply ignores her before leaving the room and closing the door.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Henri screams releasing his pent up rage. Which is closely followed by another deafening sound
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
The fluffy starts bolting like mad and shitting everywhere in the room again.
“MUNSTAH” She shrieks again. Henri hears her from the other side of the door. He knew this time he had only himself to blame. Sighing again Henri reenters the safe room before snatching the still running fluffy with one hand as she passes by him.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
A torrent of shit gets all over the floor, Henri bathrobe, body, and legs as he lifts the fluffy up “BAD UPSIE HEWP DADDEH HEWP FWUFFY”. She yells not realizing its Henri who grabbed her. One might think he would be angry at this however years on a pig farm have made Henri surprisingly calm about shit getting on him. A quick shower and laundry is far easier to handle then his floors. Henri was amazed about how much shit fluffies produced.
“NU NUM FWUFFY AM GUD FWUFFY” The fluffy begs, the torrent of shit finally ending. Her legs flailing madly in the air. Her body convulsing and shaking trying to resist Henri but with him holding her by the scruff she is only causing herself pain as she wiggles around in his tight grasp around her nape. He scoffs as he watches the display in front of him gaining a slight bit of joy watching this thing pathetically beg. How much have we broken nature to make fluffies for humanity own hedonistic self pleasure Henri thinks to himself. Henri refocuses on the task at hand and brings her to the kitchen sink before dropping her into the sink.
“Y Munstah gib… Daddeh?” The fluffy asks him after being dropped into the sink and realizing its Henri who carried her so roughly. The confusion from going to a life or death situation to realizing the creature harming you is your owner confused her small mind. Her hind legs took the brunt of the fall being bruised but undamaged. Remembering yesterday and how spaghetti did make his fluffy shut up Henri makes the rookie mistake of feeding a fluffy spaghetti twice in a row.
“You want spaghetti? Just be a good girl and shut up.” Henri states before turning on the sink water.
“WAWA BA-” she stops before covering her mouth with her left foreleg the desire for spaghetti greater then her fear of water. The still unnamed mare wasn’t your usual fluffy. See she had been giving training by Hasbio employees to be the perfect pet. This was the medium that fluffies were to be sold in before the events of July 26th.
If Henri would have bothered to read the booklet he would know the essential to fluffcare. What he would later to chalk up to him understanding the Psychology of fluffies would be wrong. Henri made the mistake of treating fluffies like an animal. In reality fluffies act far more human like then animal like. Had he treated the thing like a toddler more so then a pet Henri would have avoided the fecal catastrophe that befalls him room almost everyday. Yet Henri had a important role to play in history and destiny would never let him stray from his preordained path.
“Daddeh can fwuffy hab skettis nao”. She looks up at him dripping wet and looking miserable.
“Sure” he responds. He goes to his fridge and takes some leftovers before giving a small cold portion to the fluffy.
“Bon appétit” He tells the fluffy with the sarcasm that the French are known for before he goes to clean himself, his clothing, and the spare bedroom. After 1 1/2 hours Henri finishes up and grabs the shivering fluffy by the scruff again. He doesn’t even bother to dry her off before he places her back into the saferoom.
“Dont poop on the floor or I swear to god something awful will happen to you” Henri threatens the fluffy. He hopes their active imagination will do the work he physically cant.
“Fwuffy nu make bad poopies nu mowe” the fluffy responds with determinatino. “Fwuffy wan huggies” she aks henri standing on her hind legs and giving the infamous huggie position. Henri cold as ever shuts the door on her face. His only thoughts being that its time to go shopping,
Henri drives home after shopping and supper at his uncle’s place. Henri feels great about himself finally getting some real social contact with another human rather then being stuck in his house all night. It also helped that he was stoned out of his mind after smoking up at his uncle’s partaking in the cultural past time of his people. Perhaps it was the weed or his overwhelming self confidence but Henri never thought to ask for help from the expert on how to keep fluffies from shitting everywhere or behave properly.
He returns home a littlie past 8pm and heads to his computer. He reviews the video from his security system and observes the four legged abomination which lives in his house. Henri watches as the fluffy stacks blocks, kick and chase the ball, scribble circles and lines erratically on some paper, reread the same felt book, and hugging the stuffed animal. He notices how she hugs and cuddles against the stuffed animal for long periods of times. it occasionally pacing around the room and what appears to be crying at several points. Henri noted it down. “This thing needs constant stimuli” He thinks to himself “What could accomplish that” He wonders. Henri has a semblance of an idea forming in his head. Something that is hands free so owners don’t have to deal with more shit for the spoiled brat that is these disgusting creatures he figures. With his observations complete he descends to the ground floor with a bit of pep in his step. With only his general dislike of fluffies in mind he enters the safe room.
“Daddeh fwuffy am su happies fwuffy miss yu” The fluffy cheerily tells Henri as he opened the door.
“Sure… You must be thirsty” Henri grabs the water bowl in front of the fluffy and walks out of the room with the fluffy following him.
“daddeh can fwuffy hab babbies” She asks Henri. While a question most pet owners dread Henri wouldn’t find the request to bizarre seeing as his current understanding of fluffies is that they are retarded animals which can vocalize their instincts.
But the question intrigues Henri for he has nothing to base this comment on. He knows reproduction will have nothing to do with designing baby toys for these creatures. Right after he thought the words baby toy in his mind he realizes that fluffies essentially play with baby toys. He thinks about what all baby toys have in common. Flashing lights, soothing sounds, and other “child saftey” liberal bullshit he thought to himself. He will have to buy some electronics parts and cannibalize some human baby toys for other parts and create something. Just cover it in Fur and lights so it looks nice at the end Henri concludes. But he still had to find a reason for it to exist… now that he would have all day tomorrow to figure out a design and purpose but at least he knew how he could build a toy and a vague idea of how it would work.
Thusday Morning Henri wakes early from the stress. He gets up and checks his security camera. He needs some niche to fill in the fluffy world. Obvious giant play castles made to be fluffy sized are created, clearly an aquarium style containment system for easy cleaning would be available, video games? To risky even with his adequate coding abilities. Restless are his thoughts as he tries to focus on the task rather then thinking a million thoughts. He gazes at his room threw the monitor. Another shit storm. He rewinds to the beginning. He see’s the same as yesterday but he watches for longer this time. Right before he was about to turn off his computer the fluffy moves around its ass facing the camera and shits. He watches closer. What he assumed was its natural sleeping position he finally recognizes is panicking in fear. Thats why it wasn’t shaking when they were playing hide in seek he realizes.
At this moment he knows what he has make. Henri inadvertently threw a mix of negligence, arrogance, and anger managed to understand how to barely take care of fluffies. While the more advanced stuff for his project can be handled by actual engineers and designers he could build a functional prototype that isnt consumer ready but proof of concept. He would dismantle some baby toys from the walmart and build some sort of night light companion that the fluffy could move around easy to find the bathroom at night and be used as a way to plays soothing sounds recorded by their owner. Its his only chance for his plan of countering accusations of ineptitude and he could directly pitch his invention to the CEO. Besides he believes the product unique enough if fluffies dont like it that much they can sell it to the owners with clever marketing. After all it matters not what fluffies like only what their owners buy. He returns to his normal routine feeding the fluffy quickly before he goes to work.
Victory Henri thinks to himself as he drives erratically and dangerously from various stores getting back as quick as he can. He need to finish his prototype before sundown and get video as evidence. He races as quick as he can destroying almost a thousand dollars worth of baby toys and another four hundred in additional tools and electrical parts. And finally at 8:26 he finishes his device. He dusts off his contraption the Light Buddy as he named it. A block of flashing lights which change colour every second slowly and soothingly. Touch activated so it doesnt stay on all night. It plays well only his voice but they could make it the owners voice. Coated in soft fur to keep it sharp edges from hurting the fluffy. Lastly its also small and light enough for a fluffy to use.
Henri opens the door to the safe room as quickly as he can. His body shaking with anticipation. He had done everything he could now tomorrow his efforts will pay off.
“Daddeh fwuffy miss u fwuffy hab biggest tummeh hurties” the mare half starving from not eating in 14 hours still finds energy to run to Henri.
“Oh yeah you should be hungry” He says speaking to nobody like he used to on the farm.
He fills her bowl and observes her as she eats it as fast as she can.
“can fwuffy hab skettis nice daddeh” She asks Henri.
“No but look at what I made for you” Henri says before taking out the aforementioned Light Buddy. The fluffy is captivated by the flashing lights in Henri palm. He opens his hand wide to allow the fluffy to see the entire object as if presenting it on a golden platter.
“pwetty cowouws” the fluffy mutters under her breath listening intently to what Henri is telling her.
Henri looks around and notices for the first time the fluffy hasnt shit everywhere. Its a miracle he thinks to himself. Henri takes his Ipod and starts recording his fluffy first reaction to his product.
“Fluffy, do you like the light buddy” He speaks in clear Canadian English more towards the camera then to the fluffy in his attempt to get video evidence of his self described brilliant invention.
“Daddeh fwuffy miss u” The fluffy tells Henri looking up with a big smile after not seeing him for so long. She looks at him with those big uncanny eyes of a fluffy. Henri is slightly repulsed at the creature the more he is exposed to it. Its synthetic colour and its synthetic speech. It started to disgust him on a moral level. This is species is unacceptable to be released to the public Henri is certain of it.
“Yes Fluffy, I .. Love you” Henri slightly stutters as he spits out those words. He feels dirty even saying those words to a creature he hates so much.
“Fwuffy wub daddeh tu can fwuffy hab huggies” The fluffy asks giving the famous huggy position and even doing a little dance on her hind legs. This “trick” didn’t amuse Henri in the slightest.
“Not right now sweetie, why dont you give the light buddy a hug” He asks the fluffy hoping to get the fluffy interested in his master plan.
The fluffy being so devoid of love and attention is willing to do anything Henri says just for the slightest bit of praise as all fluffies are wired to desire human praise on some level. She walks up to the fur lined cube and hugs it. the lights turn on her face right up next to it.
“Pweety” She mutters under her breath. cooing and cuddling up to the object determined to give the best huggies a fluffy could ever do. Henri however expects his animals to do as he says so the very best behaviour for a fluffy was his bare minimum.
“I loves you” Henri slightly muffled voice plays from the cheap speaker inside the light buddy. The fluffy relaxes the words she wants to hear the most coming from an object Henri cared for almost infinitely more then her.
“So do you like the light buddy fluffy” Henri asks his fluffy in the cheeriest voice he can manage.
“Fwuffy wub wight-bwuddy”. Perfect Henri thinks to himself “They have a stupid name for in their bastardized version of English”. The fluffy still hugs the toy tightly enjoying the lights and Henri voice from the toys speaker. “Fwuffy wub” she coos again deepening the hug.
“Do you want to keep the Light buddy or no” Henri gets to his final question. Henri goes to grab it after he vaguely makes a subtle threat to illicit a reaction from his fluffy for his video.
“NUUUUUU FWUFFY WUB WIGHT-BWUDDY PWEASE DADDEH” She starts screaming. “Relax you can keep it” Henri states smiling as his plan worked flawlessly.
“TANK YOU TANK YOU BEST TOYSIES EVAH” She states her owners love and attention being so desired so much more then the toy he created.
“Okay fluffy you can keep it. Goodnight fluffy” Henri says before leaving the room for the rest of the day. He gets back to his computer at the end of the night to edit a video of his fluffy playing as proof of his products success. He will grab the toy in the morning before he leaves, Henri hopes his fluffy will cuddle up to the product during the night to make a good video for corporate.
Henri would smoke up some weed he got from his uncle. Tomorrow will be a long day. Aside from the text his uncle sent about him picking him up to bring them to the meeting personally should have caused a little bit more concern but Henri was cocky and young and wasn’t wise enough to realize he was way over his head.
Henri morning routine goes better then expected. His theory of fluffies being scared of the dark was right. Something which he could have read in the training manual he threw away and avoided all this by buying a night light. He watches the video and edits a few cute moments of the fluffy waking up at night and reactivating the cube for light. Although Henri had no idea this was a terror response to the fictional monster he created in her psyche.
He enters the safe room Henri goes to retrieve the product. He walks into the saferoom somewhat surprised to see his fluffy awake.
“daddeh fwuffy miss ou” Henri ignored her as as the high pitch voice coming from a Fluffy sounds remarkably similar to piglets. Accustomed to such sounds he fills the food bowl and refills the water bowl with the glass of water he brought with him completely ignoring the fluffy too caught up in his own thoughts to notice what the fluffy is doing.
“daddeh? Y daddeh nu talkie to fwuffy?” she asks Henri doesn’t respond again although this time its because he finds this creature to be utterly repugnant after how much shit he has had to clean off his floors. he reaches down and grabs the light buddy from beside the fluffy.
“Pwease daddeh fwuffy wub nyu wight-bwuddy fwend” She asks as he puts the object away in his coat pocket. Henri again ignored her. He was at his wits end with this shit producing rodent.
“NU NU NU NU” The fluffy shrieks and stamps her hooves. Interesting he thinks to himself watching the display in front of him. “FWUFFY NU WAN NU WAN NU WAN”. She yells puffing her cheeks at Henri. Henri reminisces about rage baiting retards online as he watched the fluffy overeact in a similar fasion. He isnt sure what the fluffies is thinking about but he doesn’t care. Feed it spaghetti and pray that its limited vocabularly will have it not mention he beat his animal with rolled up newspaper. He leaves despite his fluffies objections
Henri would finish his morning routine and wait dressed in a well fitted suit. He would change out the battery to his toy as it ran out in the middle of the night before sitting and waiting for his uncle. Henri didn’t know why his uncle felt the need to drive him. He sits idle thinking of all the ways he can handle this meeting.
Finally Louis arrives in front of his house. Henri locks up before walking down to his uncle’s car. The drive is slow and silent as both of them were both plotting their own strategies for the meeting. They appreciated the silence in order to gather their own thoughts. Louis knew Henri had always been fiercely independent his silence he mistook for submissiveness. Finally he had enough and broke the silence.
“Just let me do all the talking Henri” Louis broke the silence as they walked towards the elevator leading up to the board room they had their meeting in. Henri found it strange that he spoke in English.
“Im not stupid Uncle, I know whats going on here” Henri asserted his independence to his uncle in French.
“Then you should know why you need to stay silent” His uncle responds in English followed by silence for the rest of the journey. He had to trust Henri he knew what he was doing. Louis wasn’t stupid Martinez has been trying to undermine his influence to sell his creation prematurely Henri just had to stay quiet and let him do the talking.
They make their way to the boardroom where they are the last to arrive. Henri thought it was strange but he also knew his uncle. Henri thought it was strange that Louis wasn’t dressed well his hair is barely passable for a meeting with a CEO before this moment. Henri now figured his Uncle was going to argue something along the lines of “I want a assistant I work hard and how this meeting is a waste of all of our time”.
Henri looks around, George seems cautious despite him being the most likely to get this meeting assembled. The man in the nicest suit and watch texting on their phone Henri figured was the CEO who seemed very annoyed at being here. He glances at the next person the room a far more eloquent looking man keeping good posture and equally good poker face. Henri knew that must be Martinez by process of elimination. He suspected the plot against him started with Martinez someone he barely knew other then that he approved him getting the fluffy he despises.
“So sorry im late I’v had some promising results regarding… well I dont think you care but point is im so sorry for being late” Louis speaks first to the group breaking the akward silence.
“Apology accepted Lewie” Brian said, clearly uninterested in Louis excuses. “Im getting tired of having to mediate between you two. But this is the first time iv had ask why you two went against protocol together” Brian asked Louis and Martinez. Brian knew one of them set the other up but he didnt know which one. He gives a look at Henri the man indirecly involved in the whole affair. Brian looks at Henri trying to figure out who he is based on a quick glance. He can feel the fire of desire and angst that only exists in young men emanating from Henri eyes.
“You have something to say to me dont you?” Brian asks Henri raising his eyebrow slightly with intrigued at what makes this 19 year old so full of confidence. Louis stares like a deer caught in headlights at Henri whilst Martinez and George are unsure of what Henri will do look on with curiosity.
“You worry im a liability. Especially since some of the tests you do on fluffies is illegal.” Henri gambled, he finally came to mostly the right conclusion. Hasbio only gives a shit if Henri will report them, leak information, or get his fluffy stolen/killed/injured. " You also worry if Iv been stalked by members of PETA and if they will steal the fluffy I keep in my spare bedroom. "
Louis and George look mortified as the inexpirenced hill billy attempts to speak with authority to their boss. Martinez ever the shrewd diplomat keeps his cool.
“No shit but thats why giving you a fluffy is a bad idea. But I dont care about that. Its really about the underhanded nature of having Martinez approve and give you a prototype on your first day.” Brian retorts. Henri watches as Martinez is about to open his mouth by the shifting of his body. Henri knows its now or never to make his move and he gambles again.
“Thats quite the assumption, what makes you think im not an asset?” Henri responds smugly keeping the rest of the boardroom silent as Henri talked back to Brian.
“You dont think iv read your personal file Henry?” He asks slightly irate at this upstart “I know your 19 year old nepo hire from quite litterally the middle of nowhere Canada.” He pauses a second to look at Henri who simply smugly grinning at him as if he has already won. Brian decides he will put him in his place quickly “Whipe that stupid fucking grin off your face show some respect.” He speaks down to Henri with authority his attempt to scare him into submission and shutting up while the adults in the room are talking.
Henri responds by quietly reaching into his pocket and silently tossing his prototype onto the table in front of the group.
“What the fuck is that” Brian asks Henri confused at what he just threw on the table.
“This is the lightbuddy”. He begins his monologue as he walks slowly towards the computer as he continues letting allowing each word to linger slightly as the rooms attention rests on every word that comes out of his mouth “Of the last week I have been observing my pet as entrusted by my dear uncle and Martinez.” Henri lies, but the purpose of the lie was to force Martinez to back him now that he implicated him his product pitch to the CEO. The conspiracy to make his uncle look like a security risk to discredit him whilst elevating Martinez by having him claiming to be just following orders has failed. Henri had a knack for finding creative and challenging solutions to unconventional problems.
The rest of the board however looked mostly horrified even Martinez who now found himself involved in Henri presentation.
“As you can see its a prototype but you have giving me only 2 days notice to build something worth while” Henri told the meeting room.
“Henry why did you do all this” Brian asked even more confused not expecting a product pitch.
“Because you hired me to make money and I figured you didnt have faith in some random French guy from buttfuck nowhere Canada” Henri retorts to Brian. "I have all the video here he starts projecting the edited video of his fluffy “enjoying” his product. The 4 days of neglect and light abuse had this fluffy acting super affectionate towards the object which contained the sound of love from her beloved owner. The audience remains perplexed by the rash and audacious gambit Henri is attempt to pull.
“Well… This is very impressive Henri.” Brian reacts to Henri product pitch. He wasnt impressed with the product his designers produce similar products every day. Yet considering who Henri is this is quite exceptional. Brian didnt know anyother teenager who could or would design, built, test, and pitch a product in 3 days for a animal which he only interacted with for a grand total of 4 days at most. It would be foolish to not test and see how exceptional Henri truely is.
“Do you really think this can make money considering how ugly it looks, we need consumers to buy it even if its effective” Brian continues.
“Yes.” Henri responds to brian with the same provado he had for the entire meeting/
“How on earth did you come up with this.” He asks bewildered at Henri but impressed at him.
“Well my fluffy asked for babies and I it got me thinking how all these toys are what we give 6 month old children for entertainment. So I cannibalized a bunch of baby toys and build my light buddy” Henri answers his bosses question pridefully
“Thats perfect”. Brain said Henri raises an eyebrow in confusion not expecting that high of a praise. All he expected was to prove a point that he useful. “There have been debate about how we should sell fluffies. If we should allow outsiders to breed them, should we sell foals that kind of stuff. Anyways I think you have proven yourself to be a go getter and you clearly want to impress me and climb the corporate ladder if your going to do something so bold as to pitch a product during a disciplinary hearing for your uncle and Martinez.”
Henri has a bad feeling about this.
“You have a mare, I think it would be perfect if we get you a stallion and if you record all your interactions and notes. We need an outsider perspective on things as you can tell the product is so close to releasing”
“Fuck” Henri thinks to himself.
“Spare no detail I want every interaction, how cute they look, what made you laugh every detail Henry. George give me an internal report on Henry toy and see if it actually works. Martinez im glad you could put aside your difference if Henry actually works out. lewieI’m running out of funding we don’t have much more time. I know its impressive what you have created but I cant hold off Hasbro investors any longer.” Brian exposition dumped to the audience.
Henri remained silent. His mind momentarly blank before one thought emerges.
“Merde”
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
“AM GUD FWUFFY PWEASE NU GIB HURTIES SCAWY MUNSTAH”. U bwawy teww da munstah!
"Fwuffy. get up an’ face me. I fu” Huh its daddeh talkie! u su happies! “pwease get up” He tewws u. Daddeh am bestetst daddeh evah! U eben teww him dat. U awso wawn him about scawy munstah. Bu he so bwave he nu scardie of monstah we eben pway fun gamsie. Den daddeh wun out of safe-woom an den u heawd dah munstah. Y twied to be so bwave an daddeh scawed away da munstah. Den daddeh gib bafies an u nu even scawdie ov baff wawa dat how gud of fwuffy u awe. u wondah y daddeh nu wet u hab babbies ow namsie. Maybe u nu am gud fwuffy u tink. But daddeh gib skettis an onwy gud fwuffy get skettis. U awe a good fwuffy den. U wondah y daddeh nebah gib fwuffy huggies. gibs biggest heawt saddies and thinky pwace hurties. Fwuffy am bestest at huggies. stoopid daddeh u tink to urself. Daddeh must hab biggest heawt saddies if he nu pway wif fwuffies. Fwuffies gib biggest wub evahs.
At weast fwuffy hab toysies an nummies an gud wawa. you pway wif da baww again. dis nu am funsie fowevah u tink to ur self.
A wong time pass. u twy and stack bwockies high bu you can nu do twee wif one fwuffy. Y am daddeh nu gib huggies, nu am bad fwuffy. Bad fwuffy get sowwy stick. Fwuffy am gud fwuffy. U wemebah wat da twainers at fwuffy skool say “Onwy bad fwuffies get da sowwy stick”. su fwuffy nu am bad fwuffy. Maybe daddeh am bad daddeh? But hoomins aways wight. Dis nu make sense tu u.
“Huuuuu huuuuuu” u feew saddies fow many wong times. Y gud fwuffy nu hab fwends?
U wun an pway bu… nu am happies… wifout oda fwuffy ow daddeh.
“Huuu Huuuu”
su many fowevahs an daddeh nu am hewe. U gib huggies to stuffy-fwend. Stuffy-fwend wub fwuffy.
“Huuu huuuu”
Den u heaw daddeh. Su happies daddeh am hewen nao. U wun awound and ciwcles.
“daddeh daddeh” U scweam but he nu come.
“Huuu huuu”
“Daddeh fwuffy am su happies fwuffy miss u" U teww daddeh
“Suwe… 'u must be thiwsty” Siwwy daddeh u supposed to say miss gud fwuffy. U wondah y daddeh nebah say wub fwuffy ow caww u a gud fwuffy. Am fuffy bad? Nu, fwuffy nu am bad. U teww daddeh dat u wan babbeh but he wook at u fow twee nu wong-times den weave da safe woom.
U wook back at woom an see gud wawa and nummies. Y daddeh nu pway wif fwuffy nu mowe? Am bad fwuffy? U tink until da sky baww weave and dawky times happen. U nu wike dawkie times.
huuu huuuu
many fowevahs pass an daddeh nu come back. Why daddeh am biggest meanie, is nu faiw. U awe gud fwuffy.
huuu huuu
Gud fwuffies get bestest daddehs an bestest toysies… an daddeh nu gib toysies an wub.
huuuu huuu
U go sweepies befowe meanie sky baww gu way. U
AÏE
MAUDIT ESCALIER
SCAWIE u shwiek. U make mowe scawdie poopies.
Huuuuuuuu
daddeh u tink. y daddeh nu wub gud fwuffy.
huuuuu
Y dawkie time su scawie?
“GU WAY DUMMEH MONSTAH”
U quickwy hide. Dah monstah nu can see u. U r su smarties
Arrête de te plaindre, maudit. J’ai mal à la tête, maudit bête infernale .
SHFFFFFFFT
huuu huuuu
u wakies fwom sweepies num nummies an U wook awound. Nothin. Dah wawws awe stiww wight bwue. u push da baww awound swowlie. Nu funsie u tink, u wan huggies and wub. fwuffy nee fwends tu do talkies wif. U walkies to stuffy fwend an gib huggies. Fwuffy nee huggies. U nu knu how nummies an wawa awe in da bowl but u knu dat mean daddeh nu come. daddeh onwy come to bwing nummies.
huuu huuu
fwuffy am gud fwuffy… y daddeh nu gib wub
huuuhuuu
…
u spen wot of time awone. Afta twee bwight times fwuffy thinky pwace stawt to gib biggest thinky ebah. U tink about dah big white fwuffies in da sky. U wish u wewe wingeh fwuffy an u can gu fwy way fwom daddeh…
“FWUFFY SOWWY NU BE MEANIE TO DADDEH” U SCWEAM AT STOOPID THINKY-PWACE! Y TINKY PWACE GIB HEAWT HURTIES TU GUD FWUFFY. Y TINKY PWACE TINKY MEANIE TINGS BOUT DADDEH?
HUUUU HUUUUUU
…
“DADDEH DADDEH” u heaw daddeh he outside. Stoopid doow, Stawp fwuffy fwom going to daddeh. Daddeh must hewp fwuffy. Fwuffy hab biggest heawt saddies an nee daddeh huggies tu make betta. U keep scweaming fow many fowevahs an mow fowevahs fow daddeh tu come. Afta su many fowevahs Daddeh come tu safewoom an gib fwuffy gud wawa an nummies. He gib toysie caww wight-bwuddy. daddeh be biggest meanie twying to take toysie. U teww daddeh an he wistens to u wike a gud daddeh an weaves wifout u eben sayin gud-night tu daddeh.
u heaw daddeh voice. u wook nu see daddeh.
“I love you”
Daddeh?
“I love you”
daddeh u muwmuw… “wub u”…
… u make good poopies in da wittabox before dawkie time an bwing da wight-bwuddy wif u. Dis am bestest fwend.
u gib dah wight-buddy huggies fow wong time untiw dawkie time. u gu sweepies an wake up afta bad sweepy pictuwes. evwy time u touch da wight bwock an u knu dat daddeh wub u. Daddeh keep sayin “wub u” fwom da wight-wbuddy.
Creak
Su scawy, u nu wike da dawkies u gib da wight-buddeh a big huggies. An den wight-bwuddy bwing wight which scawe away dah wed eye munstah. U shut u see-pwace an gib dah wight-bwuddy mowe huggies befowe goin back to sweepies.
“I love you”
“I love you”
“I love you”
Henri checks his Ipod touch its 2am. He paces around in circles in his bedroom. What to do he thinks to himself. He has his product and yet now he needs a pitch. Henri mumbles and makes aggrivated grunts of frustration and exhousting. Henri is very stressed for the past few days been he had been thrown into the corprate world and involved in corporate schemeing which he was planning to insert himself in. With no solutions he will continue to pace around his room for the next hour unaware of the sounds his heavy steps were making in the house until he finally goes to bed and decides to improvise a product pitch rather then staying up all night anxious.
““I… loooove… yooooouuuu..”
Wha? daddeh? U wook awound dah wight-bwuddy it wess bwight an make weird noisy.
“I luhhhvv yuhhhhhooooo”
U gib biggest huggies to dah wight-bwuddy huggies make evewting bettah!
“I—I lo—love y—yo—you”
Y huggies nu wowk? U gib dah biggest bestest huggies evah!
“IluvyouIluvyouIluvyouuu…”
pwease u ask dah wight-bwuddy fwuffy wub u nee wight and wub.
"I… luhh… vvv… yuhhh…”
…
Huuu huuu
u make scawdie peepees. Nu wike wan gu home nu wan daddeh. wan owd fwuffy fwends. Y nobody hewp gud fwuffy?
Huuu huuu
u nu get gud sweepies u have biggest heawt hurties. U nu undastan y daddeh and safewoom su scawy huuu huu. Wight-bwuddy nu wowk nu mowe? Dis nu am faiw. Den u hewe da doow open its daddeh! U twy an tawk to him but he nu wisten. den he takes ur onwy fwend!!!
Y? Y? DIS Nu am faiw
U stomp u hoovies and make ur sewf biggew. Den u teww daddeh NU! U nu wan dis aww of dis. U wan fwends, u wan funsie, wan wub, u wan be wewe dewe awe nu munstahs! U su bwave an daddeh has tu wisten tu fwuffy. Fwuffy gib wub and huggies
U SCWEAM! NU NU NU
Y! U SCWEAM Y DADDEH HATCHU? dis nu am faiw. U gib biggest sowwy poopies on da fwoor. U nu cawe if poopies am bad poopies! Daddeh has cwean bad poopies cuz daddeh am daddeh anyway he cwean bad poopies ebwy dae! . U gu in da wittabox and bwing aww da sand out an onto da fwoor. u stomp u poopies into da fwoow boawd wemembawing dat daddeh nu wike poopies between da fwoow.
DIS NOT FAIW! Y DADDEH GIB BIGGEST SADDIES! HE TAKE OWNY FWEND AN WEAVE U WIF STOOPID NU TALKIE STUFFIE-FWEND
U take da stuffy “fwend” and give sowwy hoofies and sowwy nummies u hate stuffy fwend cuz he nu gib huggies ow teww u dat he wub u. U keep scweaming and smashin tins an makin messy cuz u nu wike. U angwy an daddeh wiww gib fwuffy wat fwuffy wan!
HATCHU DADDEH!
…
HATCHU!
hactchu…
u stawt tu make saddie wawa…y daddeh nu wub u… huuuhuuu fwuffy onwy ebah wan huggies, pway and wub fwom daddeh nu desweve scawy munstahs an meanie daddeh.