You are Surge the Tenrec, and you’ve just solved a big problem.
You’ve had a rust-colored bowl fluffy for a while now, about three months, and recently he had started humping everything that looked curvy enough to pass for an enfie-toy. You took a walk that morning to figure out what you were going to do, and as if by magic - or whatever passes for it in this hodgepodge timeline you were in - you found the answer. A mare who had recently given birth, and as luck would have it, was an absolute little terror. She hadn’t had any knowledge of how to be a parent, and when her newborn foals hadn’t played with her like the new toys she wanted, she had killed all but the poopie baby she had birthed, and was crying in the alley about “Nu faiw” when you found her.
After a cathartic, impromptu pillowing of the little shit, you had been about to simply walk off with a newly-adopted poopie baby that hopefully, your bowl fluff - Lil Asskicker - could train and keep his mind off his developing rampant fluffy horniness. But then, a thought struck you, and you picked up the little bitch mare - who had apparently been a runaway named “Princess” - and ran home with both her and her last foal in tow.
As you stepped in through your front door, you looked around the wide “living room”; having previously been a robot bunker that you scrapped the inhabitants of, it was strewn about with various messes. A little bit of junk food wrappers here, some spare robot arms and cogs there, and a desk with a stolen PC setup in a corner, facing out into the room with plenty of space to maneuver around. Close to the PC desk was a door to the hallway, and from that hallway, your ear perked up as you heard something that had become unwantedly familiar the past couple days.
“Enf…enf…enf…”
You sighed and walked down the hall, the pillowed bitch-mare swaying in your grip like a bag of groceries. Your high-speed run back home hadn’t killed her - speedsters like you had a special energy for keeping people from experiencing G-forces while you dragged them along - but she seemed horribly disoriented, and aside from a few quiet "huuhuu"s over her missing weggies, she was nice and quiet. Which was good, since you didn’t quite want Lil Asskicker to know about her just yet.
You strode halfway down the hall to another door. This one led into a side-room, a very simple 10 by 10 space with a walk-in closet in the back; you had shut the closet and placed a “Barricade” of boxes in front of it, and the rest of the room had been transformed in a saferoom. A litterbox stood in one corner, the food and water bowls were in the opposite corner, a large plush beanbag-esque pillow served as a bed, and small toys were scattered about the place; mostly jingly cat toys, though there was a couple plastic balls and a rope for playing tug, just to ensure your little fluff would stay as strong as he was.
Speaking of which, there he was, laying in the middle of the floor; his legs gripped the soft carpet and his hips were working up and down, making you scowl a bit. “Oi, oi, knock that off!” you said, and your rust-colored fluff lifted his head in surprise, ears darting up, and a tiny streak of static leapt from his hoof to the floor, making a pinprick-sized burn mark on the carpet. When he saw it was you he stood up, and you averted your gaze from the fat pink lipstick-like thing dangling below, thankfully blocked from sight as he waddled over towards you. “Mummah! Wewcome homsie, mummah! Wiw Asskika miss yu!” You snickered to yourself, not for the first time; teaching a fluffy to ignore it’s basic programming and pronounce a swear word was hilarious, and if you were lucky you’d teach the same to the other two you already had, and the third you’d brought home when it was old enough to talk.
You tugged the little guy out of your shirt pocket and slowly lowered him into the room; the only thing blocking it from the rest of the hall was a wire-mesh gate that came up to your stomach. You’d had to figure out how to install hinges and a lock on it, since Asskicker was able to push the hamster cage you’d had him in prior, even with two other fluffs in it. “Here ya go, buddy. Another little guy for you to train up for mummah.” you said, and Asskicker’s little charcoal tail began to wag. “Yay, niu babbeh! Wiww be bes’ teacha fo’ mummah, gonna hab niu babbeh weawn gud poopie and sketti!” he said, standing up to take the baby gently in his mouth, wandering over to the hamster cage he grew up in and opening the door, placing the new addition in amidst the two sleeping other foals.
He closed the door, staring, and then seemed to pout. “Mummah, Wiw Asskika nu can enfie babbehs, am onwy babbehs.” he said, staring up at you accusingly. “No, no, that’s not for enfies.” you tell him; you’d forgotten you had promised to bring him back something to enf this morning. Or, at least, you HAD, up until you found the little bitch you were hiding behind your back. “Don’t worry, Lil guy, i’ve got somethin’ for you. Just gotta make sure it’s ready!” As he gasped excitedly, you walk further down the hall to the bathroom; a weird place to have in a robot bunker, but you figured it was here for whoever had built it when they came to inspect the place.
You entered and crossed to the tub, turning the faucet on.
You are Princess, and you have the BIGGEST heart hurties.
Earlier today you had had babies, the one thing you’d wanted the MOST, that your meanie daddy wouldn’t let you have. Then, when you had them, they wouldn’t play! You gave them sorry hoofsies, and as you sat and cried because you didn’t have any babies to play with, a big scary meanie munstah lady came over and tried to make you feed your ugly poopie baby! When you tried to kick the milky-thief away, the munstah had taken your weggy! And THEN, she’d taken the rest of them, dropped you on the ground, and left you there! You were about to start begging for your weggies to come back, but then the green munstah came back, gave you bad uppies, and then…
You weren’t sure what happened then. One moment you were looking at an alley, down at your own weggies on the ground, and the next everything was going SO fast! The wind was so LOUD, your little bleeding stumps HURT, and your thinky-place was spinning so fast you thought for sure you would fly right away into the sky! And then you had stopped and dangled, and let out sicky wawas on a patch of unfamiliar ground. The city was SO far away now, you almost thought you were looking at a tiny toy housie! But then you were inside, and you thought it almost looked like home; there was floor, and ceiling, and walls! There was those black plastic not-skettis in a corner, and a bunch of weird shiny pieces in big boxies in another place, and nummie-bags everywhere! But you were still so thinky-spinny from whatever happened, you couldn’t even think about nummies; you just dangled there from the munstah, your tummy hurting, your thinky-place slowly coming back to normal. Once, you thought for sure you’d heard another fluffy, but the loud, loud windies earlier had only just started going away.
By the time your hear-places worked again, you were laying in something cold, white, and bumpy. You didn’t like it, and so you tried to stand up, but your little stumps only wiggled uselessly at your sides. “W…why weggies…nu wowk…” you asked them, trying to see your weggies again. THEN you remembered; your weggies were gone! Meanie munstah took them! You HATED meanie munstah, you were gonna get your weggies back and…and then there’s a loud noise again. Something that sounds like “WSSHHHHHHH” for a moment. “All right,” said the munstah’s voice from above you, “let’s get yer rank ass cleaned up. Ain’t givin’ you to my Asskicker smellin’ like shit.”
You shook your head at the words, trying to glare up. “Nu nu wowds! Nu say nu nu wo- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” Your protest was cut short as you felt the coldest wawas ever suddenly pour over you! You wriggled and screamed in protest, “NUUUUUUU, NU WAWAS, WAWA BAD FO FWUFFY! EEEEEEEE, SU COWDIES, NU COWDIE WAWAS!!!” But your protest was ignored; she kept pouring them over you, her hand scrubbing through your fluff roughly. The dirt, grime, and trash that had accumulated on you since you ran away began to run out of your grey coat, making it white again. Your plum-colored mane returned to the vibrant magenta it had been, and the blood and shit of afterbirth was rinsed from your backside. None of this registered to you yet, of course; the cold wawas were too much, and you kept trying to get away!
Eventually, it stopped, and you kept wriggling under the hand that held you; it picked you up by the scruff of the neck again, and you were plopped on your back on a mercifully soft surface. You looked up at the munstah, little eyes full of fear and hate. “Meanie munstah, gib Pwincess weggies back NAO! Gon’ gib ou sowwy hoofies!” you threatened; you’d heard some other fluffy say that before, you just didn’t remember where, but it made YOU have heart-hurties, and so the munstah would too!
Instead she wrapped you up in the soft thing, and you wriggled about frantically. “Nuuu! Nu wike dawky pwace! Wet Princess see!!” you complained, feeling the surface rub against you quickly, your fluff getting messed up and your mane getting frizzy! Doesn’t this munstah know your pretty mane needs to be brushied carefully??? You thought this couldn’t get ANY worse; you had no babies, no daddeh, no mummah or big mummah, and no weggies! Truly, this was the WORST thing that had EVER happened to a fluffy!
You are Surge again.
Cleaning the bitch-mare had been a relatively easy task; with her legs torn off and the stumps cauterized by your electricity, she hadn’t bled out, and the water would probably not cause any problems. She complained the whole time, of course; the cold of the water you used to get the blood out, the water itself in general, and when you went to towel her off she’d tried to threaten you. As you vigorously dried her off with the hand-towel, it took every ounce of restraint you had not to pummel her within it; one because you hated cleaning blood out of your towels, and two because you’d already decided her fate. No, you’d have to wait just a bit longer.
You unfolded the towel when you were satisfied the little shit was dry enough, and picked her up by the scruff again, holding her over the toilet just in time; with a scree of “BAD UPPIES!”, she’d shit again, and you shook her enough to get more out. You wished you’d read enough Fluffy stories on the website to know how to hook up one of those shit-tubes people used on pillows; you wouldn’t have to clean her up, and Lil Asskicker wouldn’t have to worry about bad poopies. Ah well; you’ll figure it out eventually.
After you figured she’d unleashed enough, you rinsed her ass off again, dried her with a smaller handtowel, and walked back to the saferoom, where Asskicker was attempting to sodomize one of the doggy toys you’d gotten him; a little rough-matieral monkey originally meant for chewing on. “Enf, enf, sowwy toy fwen, enf, enf, nee’ dis.” It was…almost cute how he was apologizing to it? “Oi, Asskicker, eyes up.” you said. He stopped enfing, looking up to you curiously. “Eh? Wha’sup, mummah?”
You grinned, and lifted Princess out from behind your back. “I got you an enfie-mare, lil guy!” you say proudly, and reach over the gate, dropping her in. The white-fluffed mare yelped as her tummy hit the carpet after a half-foot drop, and looked around frantically. “Wha?? Wait, Pwincess nu am enfie! Pwincess am gud fwuffy!” she said, wriggling about. The reaction was almost immediate; Lil Asskicker got off his toy and waddled rapidly over to her, sniffing around her body. “Pwetty mawe! Su su pwetty!” he said, and Princess turned, finally catching sight of him. “Wha?? Wai am ugwy poopie fwuffy in Pwincess housie??” she said, glaring at his rust-red fur and charcoal mohawk. Asskicker didn’t seem to notice the slight. “Siwwy mawe, dis am Wiw Asskika’s housie! Yu in Wiw Asskika’s woom!” Her ears flattened, and she shook her head. “Nu say nu-nu wowds! Nu-nu wowds am bad fo fwuffy!”
You perked up, leaning on the door frame to watch. You’d taught him well, and you hoped he would- “Onwy nu-nu wowds for wittwe babbeh! Dun be sensitibe wiw bish!” he said, and you broke out in laughter, startling them both. Asskicker took a moment, and then began to giggle as well. “Asskika du gud, mummah?” he asked, tail wagging. “Yes, Asskicker, you did VERY good.” you replied, still chortling. “Now you enjoy your enfie mare, and no more enfie your toys, all right?”
Princess trembled, and wriggled about. “Nuuuu! Pwincess nu am enfie mawe! Pwease, nu be mean tu Pwincess, gib heawt huwties!” she cried. Lil Asskicker’s ears drooped, looking up at you with a frown. “Mummah, Asskika nu wan gib heawt huwties to gud fwuffy. Onwy gib heawt owies to BAD fwuffy.”
You leaned in then, and zapped part of Princess’ ear, making her scree in pain. “That IS a bad fluffy, Asskicker.” you explained. “THIS little bitch had babies, and then gave them forever sleepies.”
You had learned the best way to tell a fluffy anything - fucking anything - was to use their own language. No matter how detailed or painful you made something sound, all you had to say was something like “WORSTEST hurties, EVER”, and he listened ten time better.
“She had babies, and they were just LITTLE babies. She gave them forever sleepies.” you explained again, and Asskicker glared at her. “Am twu, niu mawe?” he asked, tiny sparks shooting around his body. “Nu! Nu am twu! Dummeh babbehs nu pway wif Pwincess!” the bitch-mare told him, puffing up her cheeks. “Pwincess wun fwom daddeh, tu hab babbehs! Hab babbehs, den dey tu dummeh to pway!”
Asskicker kept glaring at her, and huffed. “Onwy wittow babbehs. Nu fow pway, need huggies and miwkies, DEN pway when wawky and tawky babbehs.” he said. Princess then sealed her own fate, and you grinned wide as she stated the one thing you’d hoped she’d say. “Nu cawe. Pwincess am bestest, Pwincess need babbehs who pway, not dummeh babbehs.”
Asskicker’s glare then became a malicious smile; a fluffy version of the one you wore on your own face. “Bestest? PWincess say am bestest?” he asked, and walked around behind her, sniffing. “Bestest am BAD fwuffies. Smawty am bad fwuffies, an’ smawty come fwom bestest! Pwincess nu gud fwuffy, Pwincess am enfie mawe!!”
You couldn’t tear your eyes away despite the display; you watched Asskicker mount the white mare, who tried to wriggle away, and watched as he went right to town on her, the sound of “Enf, enf, enf, enf, enf!” filling the air. Princess complained; not because she was being raped, but because she knew what this would lead to. “Nu! Nu wan’ mowe bad babbehs!” she complained, shaking her head. She didn’t care about ‘bad enfies’, she only cared about having babies, the entitled little bitch! But, with his new toy in place, Asskicker didn’t stop his enfing, and within moments, his pace increased, and… “GUUUD FEEEWS!” he yelled out. You found yourself a bit disturbed by this; his eyes had rolled up as he said that. He REALLY needed that release, it seemed, and you rolled your eyes as he finally dismounted, waddling over to his water dish to get a drink, draining the entire bowl. He clicked the tiny red pedal above his head to dispense another bowl of water, and drank a quarter of that before he was done.
“Whew…tank’u foh gud enfie-mawe, mummah!” he said at last, brushing water from his chin-fluff. You leaned down and scritched behind his ears, grinning. “Anytime, little buddy. Just remember to only enf her, all right? No more enfing your toys, and make sure to let me know when she’s got tummy-babies.” “Wiww du, mummah! Wiw Asskika gunna be best Daddeh! Waise da udda babbehs gud, so wiww waise soon-babbehs gud too!”
You grinned and nodded, and then strode back out to your computer, sighing in relief. As you slipped your headphones on and booted up New Vegas, you briefly heard the next round of “enf, enf, enf” begin, rolled your eyes, and went back to gunning down the residents of the Mojave. You wondered, briefly, if there was a way to mod fluffies in; it’d be hilarious to see what happened when you launched a Fat Man at one.