You lived on your own for a while after that. You left the sketti there in case your family came back. Maybe they would know how sorry you were for being around them.
You traveled into the city, sleeping only when it overtook you, when you were a stupid, lazy fluffy. You ate only when your hunger was louder than the monster, as that food should be for a better fluffy. One that didn’t make his family hate him.
You saw your reflection in a roadside puddle, a fully grown earthy. Your blue fluff was patchy and thin, and your bones jutted out from every angle. Your eyes were dull and grey sunken in to your skull. You hated what you saw, but at least you looked as ugly on the outside as you were inside.
The monster urged you to put yourself in harms way often. To stand in the road, or go talk to meanie looking humans. You just couldn’t make yourself do it.
Coward.
One evening you wandered down an alleyway looking for a place to get out of the rain. You were soaked to the bone, as you deserved, but the chill was finally louder than the monster.
Peeking your head into an overturned trash can, you made eye contact with another fluffy. You both froze. It was a pink unicorn stallion, standing over two small foals.
After a long silence, he spoke. “Fwuffy am fwend?”
“Nu. Fwuffy gu.” You turned back into the rain. You could find another place to sleep, you didn’t deserve to ruin their home like you ruined your family’s.
“…wha?” The stallion followed you out of the can. “Fwuffy… nu gud?”
“Nu.” You replied, looking up at the monster before you. “Fwuffy am munstah.” It nodded at you, pleased.
“Fwuffy nu am munstah. Stay.”
You froze. The monster in front of you stared as it always did. “…Yu nu want fwuffy.”
“Fwuffy am Wosco, what am fwuffies name?”
“… Saddie.” You said, turning slowly back to him.
“Saddie am… intewesting namsie. Cum in, Saddie skinny, gu foebah sweepies in wain.” He gestured in with his hoof.
You looked at the monster, now all the way at the end of the alley, and followed him in.
Rosco told you his story as the storm raged outside. He once had wings as well as a horn, but his mummah tore off his wings when he was a baby. She called him a monster for it. When he grew up he got himself a special friend, and she tried to kill two of their foals for having the same traits as him.
“Wosco du… meanie tings. Huwt owd spechow fwend su babbehs get miwkies.” He looked off into the rain. “Nu wike it. But hab to do it. Nu want babbehs to gu…” he trailed off, glancing at his foals. “Babbehs and Wosco awone nao. Bettah dat way.”
The foals were Dizzy and Cloudy, and they were nice to you. Nicer than you deserved. Dizzy was brown with a grey mane and liked to chase her own tail, and Cloudy was blue like you with a pink mane. They were polite little foals, listening to Rosco when he told them not to pester you with questions. Each one had a horn and a set of wings, a “pointy-wingy babbeh” as Rosco called them. You could see how they could be called monsters, something about the arrangement filled you with dread, but they weren’t any more monstrous than you. Or your monster. Just… little foals. Kind, innocent, undeserving of being around a real monster like you.
You stayed the night with them. You were being selfish imposing yourself on them but… it felt nice. You hadn’t spoken to anyone but your monster since your family left you. When you laid down to sleep they just… snuggled up next to you. They didn’t seem to mind that you were an ugly, smelly fluffy, and it was nice. Even if you didn’t deserve it.
The next morning the rain had stopped and you stood to leave. “Tankoo fow wet Saddie stay.”
“Saddie weabe?” Cloudy put her tiny hoof on your thin tail.
“Yus.” She looked so sad.
“Saddie pwease stay?” Rosco asked. “Wosco nee wook fow nummies, nu wike weabe babbehs awone. Saddie watch babbehs?”
“Buh… Saddie bad fwuffy. Du bad things.”
“Wosco twust yu.” He put a hoof on your shoulder. “Saddie gud fwuffy. Nu hab to stay, buh Wosco bwing nummies fow yu.”
He smiled at you, and you found yourself smiling back.
“Otay. Saddie stay.”
“Tankoo! Wosco be back soon, fin gud nummies!” He skipped off down the alley, past your monster.
He doesn’t know what he’s done. Those foals are doomed in your care.
Visions of them flattened on the pavement came to mind, like you had seen many foals before. Reduced to a reddish brown smear, a pop of blood under your hooves. You shook your head. You only saw foals like that near the road, you told yourself, and the trash can was nowhere near the road. You would be super careful and keep them far away. They would be safe.
“Nyu fwend wan pway?” Cloudy said, flapping her little wings.
You will just hurt them. You are awful at games.
“Nu.”
“Oh. Otay.” She hung her head, dejected.
You only cause pain.
You watched her waddle back to her sister. You didn’t want her to be sad like you, but you didn’t want her to get hurt either. You were so big, and she was so small.
Your monster sat at the back end of the trashcan behind them. Smiling as it always did. It was right behind the foals. It had never interacted with any fluffy other than yourself, but… for once, it wasn’t looking at you. It was watching Cloudy drag her hooves. With her blue fluff and dejected posture…
She looked just like you.
“Saddie wan pway!! Saddie wan pway!!”
Cloudy spun around. “Weawey??”
“Yus! Fwuffies pway…” you stared into the eyes of your monster. There had to be something that wouldn’t hurt them. Maybe… a hiding game?
You will lose them.
Chase?
They will get hurt, and Rosco will hate you.
Maybe they could climb on you?
You are disgusting. You will taint them with even a touch.
A memory came to you, a game you watched your mummah play with your siblings. You were too stupid to join in but… maybe you could teach it to them. “Eyesies-spisies!”
The foals cocked their heads. “What am?” Dizzy asked.
“It am game! Fwuffy says what dey see and oddah fwuffies guess!” You looked around. “Eyesies-spisies sumting… gwey!”
The foals looked around excitedly.
“It am… twashie can?” Dizzy asked.
“Yus!”
They got it first guess. You are too dumb to be-
Your monster was cut off with a cheer from the foals. “Am bestest gamesie!” Cloudy squealed, bounding towards you. “Anudah! Pwease!”
“It… it am Dizzy’s tuwn to wook!” No one had ever made the monster be quiet before.
“Hmmm… Eyesies-spisies sumting… Bwack!”
As you looked around your monster was… nowhere. Not at the back of the can, not in the entrance, not even lurking at the end of the alley. You couldn’t feel it’s dark eyes boring into you. Something had changed.
You played with the foals for quite a while. They were very good at the game, and you found yourself having… fun. You cheered with them when they guessed right. Your chest felt light, you even returned their hugs.
“Eyesies-spisies sumting… pwetty!” Cloudy chirped.
You looked around. “Hmmm… is it… a Cwoud?”
“Nu!”
“Da gwassies?” Dizzy said, pointing to a small tuft of grass.
“Nuuuu!” Cloudy replied.
“Hmmm… Fwuffy nu knu!” You said.
“It am Saddie!”
You ground to a halt. Dizzy laughed, hugging her sister. “Buh… Saddie nu am pwetty…” you mumbled.
Cloudy cocked her head. “…yus? Hab pwetty fwuff!”
You looked down at it. Patchy, dirty, ugly fluff, matted to your pronounced ribs and hips. Why would anyone think you were pretty?
“Saddie nu hab pwetty fwuff.”
Cloudy stared at you, wide eyed. “Buh… fwuff bwu, wike Cwowdy! Am… nu pwetty?” You could see tears forming at the corners of her eyes.
You sighed. “Cwowdy wite, fwuff am pwetty. Saddie being siwwy.” She sniffled and smiled, wrapping her leggies around yours in the biggest hug her little body could manage. You set a hoof on her back. She was a good little foal.
She doesn’t deserve the pain you cause her.
The monsters voice made you jump a little. Silly to think you would ever be rid of it. You almost forgot you were a bad fluffy there for a second.
“Saddie am tiwed, fwuffies nake nappies tiww Wosco back.” The foals nodded. You laid down in the entrance of the can expecting the foals to lay on the other end, but they just snuggled up against you.
“Saddie bestest fwend.” Dizzy said, pressing her face into your side.
You forced a smile. “Tankoo, gu sweepies nao.”
You rested your head on your hooves and stared down the alleyway, to where you could see the red form of your monster peeking out from behind the bricks. Something about these foals pushed it away. Made it quiet.
A distraction, nothing more.
Maybe, But it sure felt good.
You need me. Imagine all the horrible, selfish things you would do if I was not there to correct you. To remind you what you are.
Right. You are a monster. A stupid, ugly, useless fluffy.
These fluffies are better off without you.