The camera opens up on two young men standing behind a table in what appears to be a garage or shed of some sort. “Hi everyone, I’m Leo Medicini, though everyone says medicine.” The apparent doctor said as he introduced himself. He was wearing a white lab coat and a pair of glasses. “And this is my lab assistant, Ernie Wimmle.” “Hi.” Ernie was wearing a yellow shirt and a red hat. “And today, we are going to test a hypothesis.” Leo said as he turned the camera towards a white board. “So, I did a little stuff with a microscope. It turns out that the fluff of a fluffy is actually closer to a combination of cotton and silk than actual fur, being seventy two point four percent cellulose while the rest is fibroin and sericin.” “Why?” “What?” “Why is it cotton silk or whatever you said?” Leo grabbed a marker before drawing a diagram on the board. “My theory is that Hasbio scientists used plant DNA to create the genes necessary for fluffies to come in all the colors they do. Colors that don’t exist among mammals.” He said as he turned the board around, revealing a setup of various pictures of fluffies, sheep, spiders, and birds. “I believe that wool and other mammalian based textiles wouldn’t grow the correct colors naturally, so they used plant, reptile, and arthropod genes to create the correct genome, while also making sure to keep it soft and shiny, thus providing us with the colorful fluffy we know today.” “Okay. Now what are we going to do with this information?” Ernie asked as Leo smiled before reaching under the table.
Leo reappeared, holding a plastic tub and various household chemicals. “I’m glad you asked. Now, a little history. over one thousand one hundred years ago, in the late Tang Dynasty of China, alchemists looking for immortality combined seventy five percent potassium nitrate, fifteen percent charcoal, and five percent sulfur to create a black powder capable of blasting holes in the most powerful armies in the world at the time.” Leo said as he pulled out a box of baking soda, drain cleaner, and a clear glass bottle. “That’s not what we’re gonna be making today though. We’re gonna be making its successor, nitrocellulose. Also known as gunpowder.” Leo said as Ernie nodded. “Don’t try this at home kids. Now Ernie, go get our test subject.” Ernie rushed off as Leo turned to the camera. “Today, we are going to test if a fluffy can be used as a living bomb.”
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Ernie walked over to the pen where they kept the “Specimens’’ as Leo so affectionately referred to the pack of fluffies that had made their way into his yard. “Hello, shitlings. Who wants to play today?” A blue pegasus charged forward before placing her front hooves on the fence. “Wan pway. WAN PWAY!” The fluffy screeched as she tried to climb the fence, stepping all over the other fluffies coming to the human. “Oh, so you’re today’s special guest.” Ernie said as he picked up the blue pegasus. “Bewwy am speshuw.” She said braggingly. “You even have a name. How… perfect.” Ernie said sinisterly before placing her under his arm and walking back to the shed. He always hated runaways.
TAKE 1
The camera looked over the table as Leo and Ernie stood behind it. Berry was now in the tub and was looking at the two men. “Alright, now for this procedure, we need optimal protection for this.” Leo said as he placed a pair of safety glasses over his eyes and a respirator over his mouth and nose. “Remember to wear gloves, and to keep a fire extinguisher as well as a base on hand at all times. Sulfuric acid is not vinegar, it is a lethal substance if handled incorrectly.” He said as he placed a pair of swim goggles over Berry’s eyes. “Alright, Berry, try not to squirm too much.” Leo said as he grabbed a sock before shoving it in her mouth and wrapping a rubber band around her muzzle. “Hmmf hmm pmmf.” She screeched as she attempted to alert others to her silencing. Leo rubbed the drain cleaner into the fluffy’s fluff, adding a dab of dish soap now and again. “Now be sure to protect the fluffy’s eyes and muzzle so it doesn’t go into shock. They should be awake, or alive for the experiment.”
He rubbed down the fluffy thoroughly, her extreme dismay obvious as her screams were muffled out. “Now, this is relatively simple but it is very time consuming. Make sure to get the tail and manes.” He said rubbing the chemicals into said areas as the camera sped up. It stopped and was now focused on the two men. Ernie was holding a crying Berry, soothing her with false gentleness. “Now we wait for her to dry.” Ernie said as he walked over to an ice cream freezer. “You did great, Berry. Have a treat.” Leo said as he gave Berry a biscuit. “Tank’ou nyu daddeh.” She said happily as the camera fast forwarded. Berry was now asleep and sitting in the freezer, a few holes drilled in the door for air. “Now, the cold acts as a catalyst for the chemical reaction, thus speeding it up to a more appropriate time length. The sleeping pill we slipped Benny-” “Berry.” “Berry should keep her asleep for a few hours, that should be enough time for the reaction.” He said as he placed Berry on the table before using a sharpy to draw a line through the middle of her tail “A little reference point.” He said to the camera. The camera cut again with a “Twelve Hours Later” in the corner as Leo carried Berry out of the freezer. “Bewwy… So cowd.” She said as Leo patted her with a gloved hand.
“Now that Berry is good and prepared, we should be good to go. It’s currently 7:15 PM, so it’s perfect for our little experiment.” Leo smiled as the camera cut to his backyard. He placed Berry on the ground before tying a three foot fuse to her tail. “Go play, Berry.” He said before giving her a swat on the flank to get her moving. “Otay, daddeh.” She said before rushing off to frolic. Unknown to her, Ernie had lit the end of the fuse. Berry wandered around the yard, stopping to smell flowers, poop, and play.
Berry skipped through the field, happy as a fluffy could be. “Now we see the fluffy pony in its natural habitat. Carefree, content, completely oblivious.” Ernie whispered as the camera zoomed in on the fuse, almost reaching her tail. She stopped before leaning down to eat some grass when the flame finally reached her tail, igniting it instantly. Even as the sparks danced up the tail, Berry remained ignorant until it reached the halfway point. “POOPIE PWACE BUWNIES!” She cried as the fire spread. It reached the base of her tail, and Berry went up in flames in seconds. A high pitched screech pierced the air as Berry turned into a screaming ball of fire with a trail of sparking shit squirting out behind her. “She’s moving pretty fast.” Ernie said as the camera zoomed in on the fluffy. “It’s the adrenaline.” Leo said as Berry burned alive.
Leo and Ernie watched as her skin peeled away as the fire consumed her. “Daddeh!” She cried as the sparks finally slowed down, her charred skin visible through the eviscerated remains of her coat. “Hu hu hu.” She whined as the fire finally stopped. Every inch of her body was blackened or covered in embers, only her muzzle and hooves left untouched. Suddenly, a jet of flames erupted from Berry’s anus as her bowels finally emptied. “Ernie?” “Yeah?” “What have you been feeding her?” “Mostly beans.” Leo smiled as he watched Berry’s anus continue to burn, despite the fluffy having gone into shock or died.
“Is she dead? She’s still standing.” Ernie asked as the camera cut to a shot of Berry’s body from the side. “She appears to have gone into shock.” Leo said as he poked the fluffy with a screwdriver. Berry was stuck, with a permanent look of fear and pain in her eyes. Ernie picked her up before carrying her away. Leo followed with the camera watching as Ernie placed Berry onto a stump before picking a large log and lifting it over his head. “Join us next time when we find out the terminal velocity of a fluffy, with a cannon. BYE!” Leo shouted as Ernie crushed Berry with the log.
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