Ranchero Fluffalow one year ago…
Cock Goblin laid in the dirt broken and bleeding, back leg missing, Horn ripped off with his brains sticking out, Jaw nearly broken off and dragged around by his own guts ripped through his ass. Earl was the one dragging him around and he finished the job by chucking him into the open field and unleashed the fury of his modified replica .22 cal M1919 browning novelty machine gun.
PAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAKPAK!!
It is said when a person and some animals die their entire life flashes before their eyes and some even debated if the same was true for fluffies. Well, for an alicorn at least it was partly true. As the light slowly faded from his eyes watching Earl march up to him his mind wandered back to his first taste of freedom from his old owner…
It was the sounds of birds chirping loudly with the rising sun that had woke Goblin, laying in the muddy drainage ditch almost thinking he was hearing foals chirping. his eyes fluttered open slightly trying to right himself he twisted his neck to one side making loud popping sounds as he groaned at the pain in his soft flesh then turned the other way making more pops. He had seen Earl sic Odin on fluffies before and the state of the bodies left behind, it took everything he had but he managed to use his powers to hold his own body ridged while in the dog’s teeth. Blacking out when Odin had dropped him at last. Heavily caked in mud the only parts of him to be seen were his face and one front leg that he used to wipe some of the mud from his head and he finally noticed the collar was gone. He almost jumped for joy but the sharp pain in the sides of his neck made him wince, and he could feel the mud clogging the wounds that otherwise would have let him bleed out. Giving himself a light shake to knock off some of the mud it did little good and he started walking in the same direction the feral alicorn family had fled, following their scents. weighed down he moved slowly, weak and light headed from blood loss he pressed onward till the sun had reached its peak in the sky collapsing at last. He had followed their scents out the drainage ditch and to the edge of the forest where he lay out of breath from being weighed down, then the smell of blood crept through his nostrils. A dreadful thought entered his mind, the adrenaline surge gave him the strength to stand again and plod his way into the shady woods. It was only a few yards in when he found them, all dead, covered in bites, half pillowed and stomped, even the foals. Dropping in front of the dead foal he had mistaken for Thunder he rested on his belly legs splayed out and weeping with his chin on the dirt till he passed out from pure exhaustion.
-Hewwo? Poopie fwuffy otay?-
He wasn’t sure how long he was out but the green and pink maned unicorn mare had been poking at him with her hoof and the sun was going down behind him when he looked.
-whuh…?-
-Am poopie pointy fwuffy otay? Why poopie fwuffy sweepin in da munstah poopie piwe?-
the confusion on his face made the mare laugh and ask again and the fact that she wasn’t screaming munstah in his face made it worse then he looked behind him again. the mud had covered his remaining wing making him look like a unicorn, he could use this to his advantage.
-Whu…whut happen to fwuffies?- Looking back to the pile.
-Poopie munstahs come wast dawkie time! Hewd watchew see dem comin an hewd give wostest sowwy hoofies to muntahs! Dem Smawty make dem da new poopie liwe!- The mare puffed out her cheeks and chest proudly.
Goblin could feel the anger boiling inside him but he was too tired and hungry to put up much of a fight and the noises coming from his tummy were very loud indeed.
-Poopie fwuffy wan be in Smawty’s hewd? Smawty awways say need mowe nummie findews. Got nummies fow tummy owwies.-
-…Otay…- His tummy rumblings forcing him to admit defeat. He would kill them later.
It took a few tries but the drying mud fell of in a few spots as he got back up one more time and slowly followed the mare back to the herd only a few yards away. Four brown pillowed mares and two half pillowed nurse mares laid nestled together in a clearing while 8 other assorted mares and stallions played around them. All under the watchful angry looking eyes of a red and white maned earthy stallion with a just as angry looking blue and red maned uni mare sitting next to him. As goblin and the mare neared the edge of the clearing she told him to wait where he was and she would go to the smarty to see if he could stay. Seconds after she waddled off a couple of brown earthies trotted past him with an apple in each of their mouths, he watched them waddle to an old log and deposited them inside and ran off again. His tummy hurt so badly he couldn’t wait and since nobody was paying attention to him he crept over to the log keeping on the other side of the of some bushes and poked his head inside. Stacks of apples, piles of berries, and bundles of wheat grains and even a few human foods in plastic bags. Sinking his teeth into the nearest apple he felt a sudden tug on his tail dragging him out of the log and on instinct he bucked at whatever was pulling on him. his back hoofies cracked the angry red and white stallion in the face staggering back a few paces and Goblin turned around and bit through the apple and chewed while staring the smarty down. the smarty shook his head in disbelief as Goblin leaned down for another bite without breaking eye contact.
-Dummeh poopie! Dis am smawty’s hewd! Ou nu git nummies wess smawty say so! Nu stay wess smawty say so! Nu wive wess smawty say so! Stupeh dummeh poopie say sowwy ow get owwies!-
Goblin just kept eating the apple, still staring the smarty down, still deciding what to do. still tired, sore, weak, still hungry and his head throbbed.
-Fine. Gobwin sowwy.- Kicking the rest of the apple back to the smarty.
-Gobwin? Hmph! Ugwy namesies fow ugwy poopie fwuffy. hmmm… Gobwin big nuff… Maybe make good nummie findew ow tuffy… Otay, ou stay.- Kicking the apple back. -Num now an sweep, next bwight time ou go find mowe nummies ow nu come back!-
Gobbling up the apple before before the smarty could change his mind and one of the other nummie finders dropped another one in front of him. Eating both of them to the cores he found a patch of tall grass and stomped it down into a makeshift nest and went to sleep as the sun finally set. before he fell asleep though he noticed the rest of the herd huddled up in segregated groups, the nurses, enfies and nummy finders in one the pretty mares and tuffies in another with the smarty and his special friend.
First to wake in the morning Goblin made sure to get into the nummy stash to get his fill before anyone would notice how much was missing. Heading back to his nest he pretended to be asleep until the smarty came over and started poking at him to wake him up.
-Git upsies! time to go an find nummies!- Giving his side a good jab knocking off more mud. -Poopie fwuff need baff!- Shaking the mud from his hoof with a sarcastic laugh.
His laughs quickly turned to a shocked gasp when a large clump fell off Goblin’s exposing his remaining wing.
-Munstah! Dis am munstah! Tuffies gib wostest hewties an foweva swe(Hrk! Ghik)-
The smarty lifted into the air his front legs pawing uselessly at his neck then dropped when two tuffies tackled Goblin. A red and purple maned uni tried to bite Goblin’s horn, his jaw was quickly blown almost clean off giving Goblin a chance to buck the yellow and red maned earthy and run. Shaking off the nearly dried mud as he ran the shocked herd didn’t know how to react without the smarty to tell them.
-(GASP! HACK!) Git da munstah, dummehs!- The smarty finally managed to shout getting up to chase after.
With a good head start just kept running knowing he couldn’t take them all on by himself, not like this, he needed to scare them half to death. Like Earl had taught him. Not knowing where he was even going stopping dead in his tracks at the bank of a wide, shallow river. Not hesitating for a second when he saw the herd of angry stallions gaining on him he jumped in and started paddling to the other side. as much as he hated Earl the things he taught him were proving useful and as he slowly made his way to the other side while the herd was forced to stop and watch. He left a brown trail in the water, washing away the rest of the mud and he shook himself off when he climbed up on the shore. Turning around he gave the smarty a wicked little smirk and the two gave each other angry glares then Goblin’s horn started to glow again and a white and green maned earthy flew into the river. the panicked fluffy thrashed wildly letting out half choked screams and pleas and the typical “wawa bad for fluffies” line but seconds later floated face down, motionless, slowly floating down the near current-less river. When his horn started to glow again the herd ran away back to the safety of their nesting grounds and Goblin set off to find something to eat and lay low till dark.
He wasn’t sure how long he wandered along the river bank but when the scent of apples wafted through his nose he looked up to see a worn down old fenced in orchard.
-Muh-guff-fins gowden de-wish-us appew oh-chawd…- He read the plaque over the gate, wandering in. -… Yewwow nummies?- Looking at the familiar golden fruit on the ground.
staring at one apple on the grass licking his lips he took his first bite and it crunchy sweetness had a flavor that he remembered carried over into his mother’s milkies. bitter memories of fighting her for just a taste of what she should have given him happily like any mother should and forced to steal it while she slept. only chewing it a few times he spat the mush out and left the orchard alone.
-Hate yewwow nummies. gif bad thinky pwace feews.- Spitefully biting a clump of tall grass.
Eating his fill of the bitter tall grass he found a shady spot under a bush and tried to get some sleep, which was fitful and sporadic causing him to wake up often even as the darky time came. The big darky time sky ball once perfectly round now had a piece missing, telling Goblin the light it provided wouldn’t last. Feeling tired from restless sleep, cranky from bad dreams and his no-nos were starting to ache from lack of relief and he knew who to take these frustrations out on. Following the river back he crossed it and sniffed his way back to the herd’s nesting grounds who didn’t even leave anyone awake to stand watch. It was the smarty who he wanted to piss off and scare before he killed him and he knew just how to do it, he was gonna take everything from him. His special friend slept nestled up to him, blissfully unaware that he body slowly lifted a few inches up and floated out of the fluff pile. By the time she started to stir from the constant gentle bobbing motions she was almost to the river with Goblin marching along side her, his horn lighting the way.
-(Yawn)… Huh? Wedbewwy fwyin? Buh, nu am wingy fwuffy…GASP! MUNST-OOF! Owwies!- Dropping face first to the dirt.
-Gobwin haf somethin Gobwin wan ou to teww da smawty.- Standing fully engorged before her.
-W-w-w-w-wut do mun-munstah wan Wedbewwy tu s-s-say?-
-Nu. not say. scweam.-
Stomping down on he front leggies both were snapped easily and her shrill screams echoed through the night air. She desperately tried to back away from her pain but only parked her rear end into Goblin’s no-no stick and he pinned her head down, already feeling his piercings against her. She howled in pure agony as he sawed through her poopie place, down throughto her special place and belly and the smarty arrived just as Goblin finished. Much to the smarty’s horror Redberry was still alive, screaming her head off, slowly dragging herself away from Goblin who forgot about her to face the smarty with a devilish smirk. Then he spoke in a sing song-y way, slowly making his way to the tall grass.
-Gobwin gonna git ou… Gobwin gonna enf ou… Gobwin gonna num ou. Rheheheheheeee!- Fading into the tall grass along the river.
Hidden in the grass he watched the smarty try and hug away his special friends pain but she never stopped screaming more and more weakly with each gasp. Goblin left the smarty and his tuffies who were too afraid to follow him and ran right back to the nest again with the defenseless mares and foals. Laying in their nest of grass and leaves huddled together chirping blindly for their mother, the other mares cowered holding their own foals close cowering from the screams in the distance. Even more so now that Goblin had arrived, even the red uni with the broken jaw quietly wept and shat himself at the sight of him. Taking the biggest, fattest foal in his hooves, the obvious “bestest babbeh”, who looked like her mother and the second biggest, in his mouth by the head. They kicked and peeped helplessly which fell on terrified deaf ears while the bestest was slowly pushed down onto Goblin’s no-no stick. A normal stallion’s junk was devastating to a foals body, Goblin’s enhanced parts ripped the foal open like a hotdog that had been sliced and microwaved for too long and crushed the other with his teeth. The collective screams of the mares is what brought the smarty running back in a blind panic, bursting through the bushes to see Goblin crush his last two foals under hoof, the other two still dangling where they died.
-Beh… Bebbehs?- His jaw going slack with shock.
-(PTOO!) Ou am next!- Spitting the foal out.
The smarty started to slide across the bare dirt towards Goblin, kicking and trying to dig his hoofies into the ground for any kind of traction. he had spread so much fear amongst the tuffies not a one dare try to stop him this time. they only shook in place behind the smarty who left a poopie trail behind him until he was almost snout to snout with Goblin, wincing from his horn’s glow in his eyes.
-Dis am Gobwin’s hewd nao! An ou am dummeh enfie toy.-
-Buh… nu am mawe!- His voice trembled eyes darting down then back up.
-Nu cawe.-
The smarty slammed chin down into the ground knocking out and breaking a few teeth then Goblin started with the sorry hoofies over his head and front leggies. The smarty’s face and legs were broken, bruised, bleeding with one eye swollen shut, crying blood from it Goblin mounted him, the dead foal still impaled on his no-no stick.
-SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (GASP!) SREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! PEEP! PEEP! CHEEP! PEEP! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!-
Goblin thrust-ed excessively hard and fast quickly sawing his way down ripping out the smarty’s lumps and stick in the process. the smarty continued to chirp and screech suckling the end of his hoof between gasps and Goblin turned to address the rest of the herd.
-Dis am Gobwin’s hewd nao! Ou do wut Gobwin say ow Gobwin gif wostest owwies eva! Wun away an Gobwin find ou, Gobwin awways find ou, and den foweva sweepies!
One of the tuffies, a yellow and red maned earthy, couldn’t stop shaking and the idea of being under the rule of a poopie munstah was too much for him and he broke.
-Nuuuuuuu! Nu wan poopie munstah smawty! Nuuuhuhuhuuhuuuuu!- Turning and running away.
He was barely a few steps away then he started sliding backwards his little leggies kicking uselessly against the dirt he swung around to face the new smarty.
-Wut did Gobwin jus say?-
Not giving him a chance to answer his whole body lurched forward and his head jammed into the gaping hole Goblin had carved into the old smarty. The smarty started screaming again with renewed gusto as the tuffy inside him flailed and smacked at his haunches with muffled screams trying to pull free. Soon he stopped moving and the smarty was now wheezing for breath, his voice gone hoarse and weak, barely moving at this point.
-Any fwuffy ewse stupeh nuff?- Not a soul moved. -Good. Nao back to da nesties.-
the stallions did as they were told huddling back up in the fluff-pile with Goblin taking his place in the former smarty’s spot. It took awhile but he eventually fell asleep once he was sure the rest were asleep.
the next morning he had ordered the bodies to be taken to the poopie pile with the other bodies and sent the nummy finders out then began to think of his next steps. He needed a family of his own a legacy to carry his name but couldn’t touch a mare with his junk without killing her, his sharp pointies had to go. He sat in the shade of a tree next to the nummy log he looked down at his freshly washed no-no stick from a quick dip back in the river and tried to figure out how to get his piercings off. First he tried to just pull the gut hook straight off and he yelped in pain, falling over and gently holding the sides of his dickhead. After a few agonizing moments he sat back up and though as hard as he could about how they had gotten on him be begin with. he never saw how they got in his no-no stick but he remembered what he felt, stabbing pain and the feeling of something tugging on him in a twisting motion… Twisting.
-Wighty tighty… Wefty woosey…- His Horn starting to glow again.
The gut hook prince Albert piercing started to twist to the side to the point of pain there was a sudden dull pop as the head had finally released the friction grip it had. It twisted and twisted until at last if fell to the grass then the guard plate slid off and the half ring slid out the end of his no-no stick. Soon he had done it again and again and when the last one slid out of his shaft he knew he was truly free at last. he shat on the pile of metal then looked around the collection of mare available to him now, all unicorns, pegasuses and earthies, in his mind none of them would do. As much as he would love to have Thunder back he knew no other fluffy could replace her and all these mares disgusted him, he would need to find a new one. so he set off into the woods ti find whatever he could. He spent most of the day wandering the edges of the woods near the town that bordered it with it’s old but cared for houses and cheap trailer parks that spotted the landscape. Sniffing along the picket fences he could smell the assorted pets inside, meow-y munstahs, bawky munstahs, lots of bawky munstahs and a few fluffies fortunate enough to have a house. Peeking between the posts of his tenth yard he could smell fluffies in and he found a yellow and green maned alicorn mare and with her was her special friend a green and yellow maned alicorn stallion. But she was pregnant and too heavy for him to lift. Bingo. between them were a litter of foals, just barely weanlings, five assorted colts and a pink monochrome earthy filly. She was the one, she might not be an alicorn herself but both her parents were so the chances of her making more alicorn foals would be much greater, he would rather she be an alicorn like him but he would have to settle. he watched them play outside in the safety and comfort of their shady back yard, keeping low, quiet and down wind. As with all fluffies who run and play too much they all soon started to tire and huddled under the shade of their backyard tree, settling in together for a nice midday nap. He didn’t like working in broad daylight, it went against his training but house fluffies go inside at night so he’d probably not get another chance. peeking one eye between the slits in the fence the pink filly slowly lifted up from her place in the pile and floated her way to the fence where Goblin hid. with the greatest care he could manage he lifted her up and and over the fence then down slowly onto his back then crept off back to the herd. he’d have to wait awhile but he had enfie mare till hold him over till then, but soon his family and herd would be complete, he nearly had it all and for the first time ever he felt happy.
As the lights in his eyes started to fade from the remains of Goblin the last thing he saw was Earl kneeling over his body jamming a syringe into him and taking some blood then discreetly pocketed it.
Everything was dark, warm, wet, almost like being in mummah’s tummy, but her heartbeat can’t be heard or the soft cooing of her mummah song. it feels comfortable were he was but also lonely and after what felt like many forevers a strange bad feeling in his tummy began to grow and grow , it hurt and his tummy made noises too. When he couldn’t bare it anymore he opened his tiny mouth for the first time ever and vocalized his pain the only way he could.
Peep! peep! cheep! chirp! peep! peep! peep!- Called out the muted green alicorn foal in the incubator.
“Well look who’s finally ready. Welcome back, Goblin.”
