Earl paced around the annual Fluff-con that was held out of county every year, it hosted businesses for the major branches of any fluffy dealings. breeding, nurturing, abusing and pest control to name the biggest ones. Yet again Earl had found a modicum of fame from abusers and fellow exterminators who had seen him on the news so many weeks ago which gave him the opportunity to hand out a lot of business cards. at the moment he wandered the breeders section looking for anything that seemed off and he found it after an hour of pacing around. She was a gorgeous yellow angora mare sitting in a cage with a for sale sign on it that read; Breeding mare. 2 Yrs. old. even tempered. $100.00. Name-Sally.
âHey buddy, talk to me bout this nag here.â Earl motioned to the guy who ran the booth.
âInterested in Sally I take it? She was my sisterâs but sheâs getting out of the trade and i donât have the room for-â
âIâll give you twenty bucks for the shit factory.â He stated plainly cutting him off.
âI⌠whatâŚHow did⌠How dare you impl-â
âHold it right there, bud.â Holding up a hand. âFirst of all,room or not, nobody lets go of a prime breeding mare like this, this cheap. second, is the angoran trait is rare and specifically bred for it so again price, third, you know how people react to scammers at these places. youâre likely gonna catch a beat down from half the people in shouting distance when i yell that fact out in the next three seconds orrrrrâŚâ Holding out a wrinkly twenty dollar bill between two fingers.
âI swear sheâs not a shit factory. You canât justâŚâ Trying to keep his voice down.
-Sawwy nu sheet factowy! pwomiss make good babbehs wet twy 'gain! nu gif foweva sweepiesâŚmake good babbehs next time!
âThe lady doth protest too much.â Earl raised an eyebrow at him. "Twenty bucks and we both know sheâs worth far less than that.
the man gave him an angry glare then snatched the bill from his hand and told him to take the âworthless piece of shitâ and go. casually strolling back to his van with the cage in hand casually letting it sway back and forth whistling a little tune to himself when his phone rang.
âAh hell, what does she want?â Looking at his caller ID. âHey Janice.â Answering with a sigh. ââŚYouâre always on duty âSheriff Brodyâ. now what do you want sis?.. Seriously? Ew! they really did that?.. Okay calling me makes sense now⌠Iâm not far from the county line so I could stop by on the way back. How many you got?.. ugh. Iâm gonna have to barrow some cuffs for this⌠Just have 'em lined up so I can take 'em off your hands fast. see ya there.â Hanging up. âAnthros. fuckin sick-oâs.â climbing into his van.
DIY gene splicering on fluffies was not uncommon and many people in the fluffy pest control business used genomorphed fluffies making them bigger, stronger smarter and predatory. Earl LOATHED the idea, refusing to use or work with them or humor anyone who did, to him it was a betrayal to manâs best friend. Laws concerning fluffies were virtually non-existent save for one; anthro-fluffs are expressly forbidden! many politicians fearing a bizarre planet of the apes world with rainbow horse people instead and was harshly punishable. twenty years in prison, mandatory, for each anthro youâre caught with or can be traced back to you.
After a half hours drive down back streets and side roads, getting lost at least once before he found the place, not hard to miss with all the cop cars in the lawn. a pair of guys sat in the back of the sheriffâs car and a fat deputy directed traffic to keep the rubber-neckers to a minimum despite the growing crowd.
âHey Andy.â Pulling up to the deputy. âMy sister said she had a pick up for me.â
âHey Earl, sheriffâs got 'em inside still. Donât want people startin crazy rumors, pull into the drive way over there. back it in.â
Backing his van up to the garage door he went inside and was met with a tall lanky woman with brown hair in a pony tail and a serious case of resting bitch face. She stood with several deputies who stood around seven naked humanoid fluffies who knelt on the floor cowering together. some stood out among others as there was a Pinky Pie, a Twilight Sparkle, Derpy and Big Macintosh with some very disturbing add ons.
âJesus Christ, sis, why do they all have giant tits and dicks? Please tell me this freak resisted to the point you had to kill them.â
âYou think thatâs bad? the derpy one has penises for nipples AND they defecate.â Said the sheriff. "And no, we only maced and tasered him.
âHoly shitting dick nipples, that is just fucked up. So. Why are they still alive? I thought I was just disposing of these abominations?â
âIâm not rolling seven dead bodies out on gurneys itâll look like a mass murder took place here. Look, Youâve been getting away with shit your whole life. I still donât know how you got the principalâs car in his mistressâs living room. we already collected all the samples we need as evidence but the law states we need to dispose of these right away but I donât want people knowing about these things. now for once in your life could you use that devious brain of yours to help me out and make these things vanish.â
âOh I help you out plenty, that guy in high school who wouldnât stop harassing you is still in therapy from what I âallegedlyâ did to him. But yeah okay, I gotcha. One hit-manâs special at state rates. get some blankets or something to cover them up, thereâs like sixty cameraâs out there already.â
After a few minutes of looking around some sheets and blankets were tossed over them and were walked out to Earlâs van, none stood taller than five foot five inches. Once they were loaded up he drove off quickly so as to rid the world of another potential disaster, the anthos were obviously afraid under the dark covers and wouldnât stop complaining about it. After awhile a few started to crawl around and claw at their coverings till one finally got theirs off. Crawling up to the driver seat it grabbed at Earlâs arm with cuffed hands pleading for mercy, this startled him and the van swerved wildly for a moment as he elbowed Pinky in the nose. seconds after he straightened out the van the all too familiar sound of sirens could be heard behind him with matching red and blue light in his rear view mirrors. Rolling his eyes and pulling over he noticed the deputy was one heâd never met before, must be the new rookie he heard about, his name tag read C. Barry. Well, deputy Barry seemed like the hard ass type and when Pinky popped back up again with a bloody snout while Earl was trying to explain himself the deputy freaked out. He also stopped listening and despite Earlâs insistence on who he was and what he was doing he found himself stuck in the back of the the deputyâs SUV with some of the anthros crammed in with him, the rest in the cargo area. Well by this point Earl stopped wasting his breath on this idiot and was now plotting a fitting punishment for him later. but how? once they arrived at the sheriffâs dept. the anthros were put in the holding cell adjacent to the one Earl was tossed in but he tried to give the rookie one last chance to save himself from his self inflicted doom.
âLook deputy dumb ass Iâm trying to help you here, the sheriff is my little sister and I was in the middle of a job for her and sheâs gonna be pissed at you.â
"Yeah right ya sick freak. you donât even have the same last names.
âColeson is her maiden name.â
âSheâs not married.â
âCalled a divorce dumb ass. case ya hadnât noticed my sister can be a bit of a bitch sometimes⌠Ya know what? forget it, you had your chance.â
âTell it to your lawyer. Freak.â
Deputy Barry left Earl alone in the holding cell, he sat on the bench with his back to Twilight, the anthros continued on about feeling strange and confused. they complained about not knowing if they were mare or stallion but not wanting to be used as enfie toys anymore and Earl just wanted to strangle them then and there. strangle⌠thatâs it. the perfect way to punish deputy dumb ass had just struck him. he hunched down and began to untie pull his laces from his boots he wrapped the ends around his left fist, time to commence operation shit storm. Twilight was sitting on the bench with her back to Earl whining about wanting her mummah and not wanting to be a monster. His hands reached through the bars put the laces over her neck and slammed the back of her head into the bars, wrapped the laces over his left hand again and pulled while kicking her ass off the bench. She was so light comparatively to him her legs shot up and her neck tightened while a stream of shit exploded out his ass comparative to a shotgun blast spraying the others and everything around them.
âYou Little freaks better hurry before your friend dies!â Earl goaded them on.
Pinky and Big Mac, covered in their friend shit but determined to not let their friend die but terrified of Earl, with good reason. feeling uncharacteristically brave the pair at first hesitated then rushed over to Twilight as soon as they got there Earl pulled hard with his foot on the bar and her neck made a sick wet crunch noise. Reaching through the bars grabbed their manes and pulled their tiny heads through then drove them neck first into the bracer that connected the other bars. when their necks hit the bracer more shit fired out their asses covering even more of the cell while the last few had finally moved from the splash zone and stayed far out of reach of Earl. they cowered in the corner collectively pissing and shitting themselves creating a large pile between them and their legs and tails. it didnât matter though he had done what he had set out to do, everything in the cell was practically frosted like a cake in shit and the smell, dear god, but Earl had long ago gotten used to it. a bizarre perk of being an exterminator. After re-lacing his boots he just sat on the far bench just staring at the surviving anthros, hands clasped together in a fist he rested his chin on, just glaring evilly at them letting the fear and smell stew.
3 hours 37 minutes laterâŚ
âJesus Christ what is that smell?!â Deputy Andy asked walking into the station. âWhat the actual fuck?! Earl! what the hell, man?!â
âTalk to your stupid ass fucking rookie. And get me out of here!â
Andy let him out just as the sheriff and several deputies, including rookie Barry, with the real crook in tow when they hit with a wall of gut churning stench.
âEarl?! What the fuck are you doing here? and what the fuck did you do here?!â Sheriff Brody yelled at the top of her lungs.
âHi sis, deputy rookie dip-shit over there arrested me for having those in my van.â pointing to the anthros.
Everyoneâs head spun in Barryâs direction glaring at him like he was just caught committing murder and the once smug rookie suddenly didnât look so smug.
âAnd what happened here?â Brody asked still sounding irate.
âOh you know how these things can get out of hand if not watched constantly.â Now sounding smug himself. âBut good news is you have a rookie to do all the things you donât wanna. After all shit rolls down hill and hey it always beats the wrongful arrest suit I could file over this.â His smile peaking out from behind the side of his mustache as he looked at Barry.
ââŚTake 'em and get the fuck out. ROOKIE! get some fucking gloves. Andy, help get these thing to Earlâs van⌠Where is your van?â
âYeah rookie, where is my van? I had an expensive breeding mare in there I just bought. If itâs dead you owe me a hundred bucks.â
â⌠It⌠Itâs in the impound lot out back.â Hanging his head.
Andy walked him out to the lot and he drove his van back to the front door as Andy hosed off the anthros before they climbed into his van. Earl took the dead fluffy in the cage inside and collected the hundred bucks from the rookie showing the sale sign still on the cage. he set the cage back in the passenger seat and took a syringe bottle from his pocket and kissed it before returning it to the glove box and patted the cage.
âSleep tight. youâll need it for your new life, Sally.â
Later that night Earl stood in an empty field with the anthros, they were bound and gagged in rope, Jake was there with a water tank in his truck bed and two empty bottles of bleach on the ground. Earl fired up the wood chipper he brought and tossed in the dead ones first, the roar of the chipper drowning out the live ones muffled screams. but one after the other the last four were chucked in feet first to hungry and exhausted to do much more than squirm. with the last of their blood sprayed over a ten foot streak over a dirt field which Earl then poured gas over and lit on fire and let it burn out on its own. once it had Jake flipped on the water pump and started spraying bleach-water into the wood chipper and into any crevice he could see blood coming out then over the burned out blood stain. when it was done they quietly packed up and went home.
