THE WONGEST SWEEPIES
You’re a butt. Wait, no, you’re a fluffy pony. Same difference.
You’re a red unicorn stallion with a green mane who just took over as a forest herd’s Smarty.
The previous Smarty got wowstest owies and fowevew sweepies from a big kitty munsta.
But your dummeh herd thinks he just went “wong sweepies” or took “the wongest sweep”. Implying he will eventually wake up, even if it just takes a long time.
He’s laying there, cut wide open, half eaten, with his boo boo juice all spilled out. buzz-buzz munstas are flying around him, and they think he just took “the wongest sweepies”?
I laughed at my new herd and rolled my eyes, how dummeh are these fluffies?
“Dat fowevew sweepies dummehs! Nu ‘wongest sweep’ ow ‘wongest sweepies’, dat fowevew sweepies! Owd Smawty is fowevew sweep!”
They looked at me like I was the dummeh, and said “Nu, Smawty is taking da wong sweep.”, and “Nu, Smawty is jus taking the wongest sweepies.”
The next day, five foals took fowevew sweepies. Their dummeh mummah farted in her sleep and woke up thinking she heard a “poot poot munsta” and ended up trampling her chirpy babbehs to death in a panic.
The wittle chirpeh babbehs are all crushed and silent, boo boo juice is everywhere.
The dummeh herd is saying they are just taking “the wongest sweep” or “wongest sweepies”. DUMMEHS!
“Hewd am dummehs! Dose wittew babbehs am taking fowevew sweepies! Nu ‘wongest sweepies’ ou ‘the wongest sweep’! Dat fowevew sweepies! Dose babbehs am fowevew sweep!”
The herd again looked at me like I was the dummeh, and assured me they were just taking “wongest sweepies”. Implying they will eventually wake up, even if it takes the longest time.
A few days later, the herd calls me over to the rotting corpse of the previous smarty. It’s rapidly healing and regenerating, the Smarty is coming back to life!
In a few minutes, the Smarty is fully regenerated, and is sleeping peacefully on the ground. He wakes up, and the herd cheers.
The old Smarty speaks,
“Yawn Smawty am wakies now fwom the wongest sweep. Smawty take wong sweepies.”
Your jaw drops, what the fluff?!
In the aftermath, the Smarty resumes his role as the herd Smarty, and he puts me in charge of watch of the fowevew sweepie babbehs ahem the wongest sweep babbehs, for when they wake back up.
A few weeks pass by, and the five dead foals are now skeletons. They are never going to wake up dummehs! They are fowevew sweepies, not taking wongest sweepies or the wongest sweep!
Later that day, the five foals start to rapidly heal and regenerate! The five foals are coming back to life!
In a few minutes, the five foals are fully regenerated, and are happily chirping and peeping and seeking miwkies again!
Their mummah waddles over to them with tears in her eyes,
Just what the fluff is going on here?!
I spend the rest of my days with a herd that only goes “wongest sweepies”, we are immortals. When I go the wongest sweep, they will keep watch over me, because they know I’ll eventually wake back up.