JJ Abrams looked down at the finished script for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.
Unfortunately he hadn’t been allowed to do any of his ideas like making Rey the granddaughter of Palpatine or having the whole thing pointlessly jump from planet to planet and have Palpatine back from the dead for no reason. But he had no resentment and the movie would be all the better for the changes.
Rather than try to address fan complaints in an incredibly incompetent way the script instead got back to what people loved about Star Wars while ensuring there was room for future growth.
And Abrams had the only copy of the script. Which he left on the coffee table for the people making the movie to use before leaving the room.
Then JJ Abrams’s fluffy Dynasty came in. He was a smarty and a particularly bad one.
“Die-nast-ee wan sketti!”
One second passed.
“NU SKETTI?! DEN DIE-NAST-EE GIB EBWYTING WOWSTEST SOWWY-POOPIES!”
Dynasty turned around and sprayed shit everywhere. Unfortunately for the world the shit kept ricocheting off things before all of it ended up inundating the script.
Where once was the perfect way to end the latest Star Wars trilogy instead was more shit than script.
Unfortunately the script then got shit on fifteen more times and then Dynasty peed all over it.
And nobody noticed this had happened. Resulting in the travesty that was Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker.
But by donating to my GoFundMe you can help me track down and destroy Dynasty so that this will never happen again!