To Wan A Babbeh 2
written by CoronaryHeatingProcedure
She lays there, exhausted, recovering from the ordeal she went through.
Still in disbelief, she breaths the first sigh of relief in what felt like many forevers as her newborn suckles on her milkie-place.
So long had she waited on this moment, the feeling of her love flowing freely to her precious babbeh, no longer needing the milkie-pumps to take her milkies away.
Scribble remembers that horrid feeling like it had been just minutes ago, her own broken cries echoing in her mind.
Her face feels damp, Pixel right beside her, pressed against her, but she canât shake the feeling that is creeping up from within her, a dull emptiness.
âm-mummahâŚâ she mutters absentmindedly, her eyes glazed.
Something approaches, takes ahold of her and then the fog disappears.
âYou did it sweetheart.â the voice hushes, fingers stroking her back. âIâm here now. Youâre alright.â
âMumAH! HuuuHHhâŚ!â The tears flow freely now, lost in her embrace, all of the sorrow, the pain, the heartache, released at once.
Pixel let go of her nipple, head wobbling with strain, leaning herself against her mother to take a well deserved rest.
Her momma had taken her to a doctor after Pixels birth.
Her tummy babbeh place had to be removed so nothing bad happened to her.
Everything went as it should, yet Scribble felt strange.
She had a baby, she should be happy, but she isnât. Instead, thereâs worry and a constant feeling of heart hurties that wonât go away.
Often, her thoughts drift to her other babies, the ones sheâd failed, wondering what could have been.
It pains her to see Pixel cuddled against her when all she can think about is how bad of a mom she is.
Momma is often busy with work but even she noticed her only going through the motions, blank stare in her eyes.
One day, her momma makes her go to a special daycare, for mares with foals only, but being there makes Scribble feel worse somehow.
Seeing the mares playing and caring for their perfect little foals feels painful when all she can do is fail.
She tries ignoring it, to tune it out as best she can but she canât run from the truth forever.
Something isnât right with PixelâŚ
Today is a particularly calm night.
Scribble wishes her momma gud-nighties as she gets wrapped in a comforting blanket, her babbeh huddled against her for warmth, chirruping.
The lights go out, replaced by the soft glow of a nightlight, projecting little shifting shapes onto the cool walls.
Scribble tries to relax, to get some sleep but sheâs just staring restlessly at nothing in particular.
Her vision swims, shifting focus from one toy on the floor to another block on the opposite side of the safe room.
The warmth leaves from beside her but she doesnât fully comprehend it until her baby wanders into her field of view.
Their face is hard to make out, her tears clouding her vision.
âMummah am su sowwy babbehâŚâ she all but whispers, choking on the words, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. âNeba wan gib babbeh hurties buâ duâŚâ Her hoof caresses Pixels cheek, the foal leaning into her touch.
âM-mummah wan babbeh tu open see-pwaces, tawkies, hab biggest hawt happies an gwow big an stwong, bu babbeh neba can⌠mummah am su sowwy Pixewâ she clenched her eyes shut, the guilt, the shame, too strong to bear.
Faint sniffing drowned beneath the cacophony of sobs, the touch to her snout sudden and warm.
She opened her eyes and there Pixel was, smiling at her.
âWhaâŚâ she questions.
Their soft hoof pads wander to her cheeks, their form closing in for an embrace and she lets them close the gap, even when itâs tearing her apart.
âchrrrruuuâŚwuuuuvâŚmuuumm-aaahâŚâ
It felt as if she could see clearly for the first time.
Her faults, her weakness, everything, none of it matters. Her foal loves her fully and unconditionally.
Her legs wrap them up tightly, closely, heart swelling with emotion, endless love pouring from it to fill her ache ridden being.
That morning Momma had found Scribble sleeping peacefully, hugging Pixel in her sleep.
There was a noticable change in her behavior since then. She was calmer, happier, more lively.
The daycare attendants were pleasantly surprised by her change in demeanor.
With time, they all grew to understand the meaning of each individual sound as Pixel would thrill, chirp and babble but never speak.
Their eyes remained shut but it didnât hinder them from having all the fun and happiness in the world.
Some of the mothers would cock their heads in confusion at them and say, âWha am wong witâ bebbeh?â, then Scribble would explain and theyâd coo and fawn over Pixel in amazement, adoring the âfowebah babbehâ.
It was a good lesson for them to learn next to wingie-pointies and dull colors.
Soon they had to leave daycare, Pixel maturing into an adult, gaining a stockier build and growing larger then even their mom.
Even now, as Pixel attends to the graying mare, the pair is inseparable.
