@Toofy suggestion from the two sentence story thread
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Tonka wobbled around his saferoom, making a clumsy effort to get over to the snack shelf. Yes, a snack shelf. His saferoom had just about everything: Snacks, a big teebee, toys all over the place, a beanbag chair that he liked to sit on and fart all over. Snagging a bag of extra salty Jumbo Mumbo chips, he tore it open with his teeth and spilled some everywhere as he made his way back to that precious previously mentioned beanbag chair. It was black and had flame designs which was cool to him because he had an underdeveloped fluffy brain.
This stallion happened to be yellow and black just like his namesake, though one could argue that he could have just as easily been called Bumblebee or something. Luckily he wasnât because that was a girl name and he was a big tough boy.
Plopping down on top of his beanbag, he focused on the teebee. Currently playing was âFinding Bigfootâ, a weekly series where fluffies went into their backyards and tried to find the legendary sasquatch.
They never did find him but maybe they would this timeâŚbut just then, the door to his saferoom opened! There was his daddeh. Munstah daddeh. He doesnât bear much of a description except that he has a JERK FACE and a big mustache.
âTonka.â Dummeh daddeh said. Tonka just stared at the teebee as if he wasnât there.
Again: âTonka.â A bit more forceful this time. Stuffing chips into his mouth, the stallion twitched a bit.
âANSWER ME YOU FAT PIECE OF FUCK!â Now daddeh was yelling during his show. Puffing out his cheeks and sliding down from the beanbag chair, he laid there on his belly and looked up to his owner. One of his owners. He loved mummah and not daddeh.
Sure daddeh was mad and his face was red but when wasnât it? âYis? Tonka am watchinâ teebee anâ am findinâ Bigfoot.â
Now stupid dummeh daddeh was getting super upset. Thrusting an index finger down at the fluffy, he threw spittle out as he began to further yell. âPick up this saferoom! Iâm not your âmummahâ, Iâm not going to sit around and do everything for you. And sheâs not going to protect you from my anger. Know why? Tell me why, Tonka.â
Going cross-eyed and stumbling to his hooves, Tonka did his best to attempt to lie. âTonka dun knowâŚwewe mummah? Am omwy Tonka bebbeh.â Right now his eyes were focused in two totally different directions. Neither even making an effort to look at daddeh.
This is what happened when you let a fluffy do whatever it wanted. It wasnât Tomâs fault. No, this blame lay squarely with his beloved wife who had given Tonka everything he wanted and never punished him. âOh? Sheâs in the hospital in a full-body cast because YOU left your rollerskate at the top of the stairs! Remember that!?â Yeah, it was true. His wife had taken quite the tumble down the stairs because of a rollerskate left carelessly there.
To this, Tonka just tried looking back to the teebee. They hadnât found bigfoot and were instead sidetracked and playing on a slide. ââŚâ
Blustering, Tom rubbed at the back of his head. âWhy does a fluffy even need roller-skates!?â
Puffing out his cheeks once more, Tonka answered: âTonka am wadicaw!â
Whatever. This creature was his wifeâs only âthingâ. No kids, no friends really, she worked a lot and had only this to claim as her own. Surely, he loved his wife but was reaching his breaking point. Letting out a shuddering sigh, he pointed down to a chip bag on the ground.
âPick this up, Tonka. If you donât pick up this chip bag by the time Iâm off work, I swear to God Iâll. Iâll do something.â Letting the threat hang in the air, he cut across the room over to the stallion.
âWha?â Tonka asked, only half paying attention.
Tom pointed down. âYou got something on your fluff.â When Tonka looked down to see whatever it was, his meanie daddeh cruelly flicked the tip of his nose. This sent our poor hero flopping down onto his back, shrieking and flailing his hooves around as if heâd just been battered.
âTonka am egg-spen-sib fwuffy! Nu huwt! EEEEEE!â He was upset that he let out panicked farts. His co-owner looked down in disgust.
âFor the last time, youâre not expensive! We didnât pay a dime for you! We found you out behind the muffler shop with a fried chicken bucket stuck on your head!â Yeah, his wife had felt so bad sheâd begged and gotten tearful with him. Oh heâs just a little baby. Oh look at him. What a precious little sugar nugget.
Sniffling, Tonka retorted with: âWub chimken.â
âYou really are a retarded brat. Clean something or else.â Tom left the fluffy screeching on the floor to leave for work.
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After heâd screamed enough and heard daddehâs truck start up, he popped up to his hooves. At first he was going to pick up the chip bag. Thatâs all he had to do and he was going to prove that his owner was a meanie dummeh fartheadâŚbut then he had the smawtiest idea of all time. Why bother with one chip bag if he could do CHORES?
Chores were what mummah and daddeh did. They were, Tonka gathered, extremely boring and also possibly difficult. Heâd watched them both do a variety of tasks while incessantly begging them or something, maybe pestering them about stuff heâd watched on FluffTV. Well whatever, he would do some chores and then stinkbutt daddeh would see he was the best fluffy in the whole world.
âHeh heh, Tonka yew da smawtest fwuffy in da whowe wowd.â He praised himself, brushing past the chip bag he was supposed to pick up on the way to the door. That wasnât important right now though.
The saferoom he called home was on the upper floor of the home and you would think that a fluffy going down the stairs was likely a recipe for disaster. Tonka was super spoiled though and mummah had installed a motoroized lift to ferry him up and down the stairs. Plopping down onto the lift, he pressed the button and flailed his front weggies around.
âWHEEEEEEE!â Su happeh! It was like a ride! Sometimes he went on it 20 to 30 times over and over again. Today though he had business, the time for fun was later.
âYAY! TEEHEE!â Alright, he was going back up the stairs then down again. On the second trip back he plopped down to the floor and narrowed his eyes. It was time to get sewious.
First thing was to va-coom the floor. Though mummah spent all sorts of money on him, she hadnât upgraded to a better vacuum than the Henry Hoover that had been given to her as a wedding present back in the eighties. Tonka quite liked the vacuum when it was off as it had a silly face.
âOtay Henwy, Tonka am use yew.â The vacuum was always plugged in albeit tucked away in a corner. Flapping his hooves around, the cleaning tool turned on and immediately began making the dreaded noise. SO LOUD. Screeching and running behind the couch with his ass clearly sticking out, the supposedly big boy stallion huu-huuâd.
Why was Henry always so loud and meanie? That fact that he was being so mean started to make him angry! Carefully reversing from behind the couch, Tonka puffed his cheeks out at the vacuum.
âYew bedda stahp, Henwy! Tonka am gettinâ suuu mean! Am gonâ getâchu!â Flaring his tail around, he circled around the vacuum. It didnât stop though which made the fluffy squeal with rage and charge out at it. Slamming into the tool, he knocked it over and made the lid pop off. Dust and shit flew up into the air in a big sputtering cloud, shooting out over the living room. Tonka didnât care because he was currently deep in a rage, making his hooves rain down on the vacuum with a rapid pattern of squeaks.
Once the fury subsided and the vacuum finally stopped making noise because the plug had been knocked out of the wall, Tonka looked down in horror at what heâd done.
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âNuuuu! Tonka make Henwy gu fowebba-sweepies!â Let alone the mess which had been created by itâs uncleaned innards spewing out across the room. This would get him in trouble but he was too smart let that happen. Struggling up to the couch, he stepped over to one of the end tables and got a single tissue into his mouth and walked back over to carefully place the tissue over Henry. Now that he was covered up, daddeh wouldnât notice that he was fowebba-sweepies. Heh heh, su smawties.
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Now that the living room had been âcleanedâ, he knew what to do next. Going to mummah and daddehs saferoom, he began pulling their dirty laundry out from a basket and out to the kitchen. Luckily for him there was a frontloader next to the dishwasher. Wait. If one washed clothes and the other washed dishes, surely they could do the other.
The washing machine had clothes in it but heâd dutifully take plates out from the dishwasher to place them in with the clothes. Sure he dropped like three of them but mummah always said assidents happened and it was OK.
âTonka neeâ poopies.â He groaned, feeling the multiple snacks heâd munched earlier rumble through his tummy. Wait! Why fatly wobble off to a litterbox if the washer made stuff clean?
Turning around and lifting up his tail, he positioned himself up to the washer, grunted, and let loose with a projectile stream of turds into the laundry & dishes within. So stinky but this would help it out. Taking an entire box of laundry soap in his mouth, he shoved it into the washer then got up on his hindlegs to slap around at the buttons until it turned on.
Watching the dishes, clothes, and various turds tumbling around the washer he gave a satisfied smile. âTonka am big boy naow. Teehee.â
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That was enough chores for now. Getting on the wheelchair lift to once more ascend to his beloved saferoom, he swaggered into the room with the air of a hero. Truly he had just done the greatest feats and would be rewarded with a helicopter ride, a mountain of skettis, and fifteen mares who would bear his babbehs and tell him how great he is.
Before that could happen though, daddeh would have to get home. Even though thatâd been a lot of work, Tonka reasoned it would be many fowebbahs until his owner came back.
Getting over to his pop-up tent that visually appeared to be like a camper, he carefully piled up the toys that came with it and pretended to go camping.
âOtay. Am hab mawshmawwow. Anâ disâŚâ Nudging together a plastic campfire, he piled stuff on top of it and pranced around a bit. This was pretty fun. Camping was what big boys did, and he was definitely the biggest boy. Chewing on a few pieces of the plastic food (and the Swiss army knife), he grew restless. Sure this was fun and maybe the bestest toy ever but he was a big boy and had special urges.
Wandering around the room, he looked for stuff that might help him with this goal. There was his Cinnamummah stuffy-fwend. Just a big and fat as the real thing but heâd humped it before and itâd kept singing the mummah song and heâd cried while getting his rocks off. That wasnât very fun. HmmâŚ
While looking for a prospective new partner, his eyes fell on rigid rainbow colored plastic tray. An educational puzzle! Mummah had told him itâd make him super smart but he was already so smart, why would he bother to use it? Normally he ignored it but today those slots were looking mighty fine. A circle, square, triangle, and star.
âHeh heh. Dis howe am Tonkaâs howe. Am made âfo Tonka.â He sneered while crouching over the tray, deciding it was best to hump the star shape. If he had actually used the puzzle before he might be intelligent enough to know that circle shaped stuff went into the circle hole. As his nu-nus thrusted into the star shape, he tried to tug back out and instead found his wiener trapped on the pointy ridges.
âNuuu! Owwies! Nu-nus, EEEEEE!â Falling on his back, he wriggled his hooves around and screeched at the ceiling. With enough flopping and rolling about heâd get it dislodged from his organ and go slinking over to his beanbag chair, not really wanting to do that big boy thing right now.
What was on FluffTV? Oh! It was âSewious Justiceâ.
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Grizzly was the best fluffy detective in the city. A big brown stallion with a black eye-patch and a spiked collar so you know what a tough boy he is.
Currently he was in his captainâs office at the Fluffy Police Station. While all of his peers were also fluffies, the captain was a big daddeh.
âDarn it Grizzly! I know youâre a loose-cannon fluff and take all the risks, but we canât have you causing a ruckus all over town!â
Chewing on a bubblegum cigar, Grizzly looked up from his wheelie chair. âWeww, Gwizzy am gonâ do anyfing tu sabe da babbehs. Da bad boyz steaw da aw daâ huggies anâ wub, Gwizzy âgon do anyfing tu get it backsies.â
Giving a groan, the captain shook his head and took a bottle of apple juice from his desk to pour himself a shot of it.
âYouâll be the death of me, Grizzly!â He growled, but Grizzly was already down on the floor and making tracks to exit the office. As the door opened, a very pretty pink and yellow mare walked in to give him kissy-wickies on one furry cheek.
âGwizzy, pwease gib fwuffy babbehs!â She begged him, and he thought on it for a moment before turning to the camera.
âDa omwy babbeh Gwizzy neeâ am justice!â
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Whoa! Sewious Justice was the coolest! If Tonka was in the show he would have caught the Huggie Cartel by now. That much he was sure of. The outra also reminded him that daddeh was due to be home soon.
He wanted to be just right for daddehâs arrival back. Going over to his closet he yanked out various toys and outfits before settling on what he wanted: It was a Superman suit tailored to be for a fluffy complete with fake padded muscles and a little cape. Somehow wrangling himself into it, he felt himself to be just right for greeting daddeh and scurried out to the chair lift on the stairs.
This time as he went down he imagined the cape at his back to be fluttering on the breeze. It didnât though and instead hung limply at his back but it didnât stop him from raising both hooves over his head and acting like something more exciting was going on.
Something was going on. That much he was sure of upon seeing some water leaking into the living room from the kitchen. Stepping to look into the kitchen he found that the washing machine had burst open, a bunch of torn clothing, shards of dishes, and remanants of turds laying strewn out over the floor along with a seemingly endless mountain of suds from the netire box of soap heâd shoved into the machine.
âFwuffy cweaned.â He told himself proudly and marched over to the front door. Positioning himself in front of it, he got up proudly on his hind legs as daddeh came through the door.
Showing off his fake padded muscles and pointing a hoof off to the various messes which had been created due to his âhelpâ, Tonka smirked a bit. âWook! Supehfwuff am sabe da day and do suuuu cweanies! Pwoud ob Supehfwuff?â He gave a proud tail wag.
Tom stood there looking flabbergasted. WhatâŚno. This had to be a dream. Yeah, he was still at work. Maybe heâd slipped on a puddle of water and fell into a sink or something. Was passed clean out. Looking to the kitchen and then doing a sweeping scan of the dirt covered living room, he opened his mouth to say something. Held up a quavering index finger, let it fall back down to his side. Hurriedly, he went stomping up the stairs.
What was he up to? Tonka didnât quite know. Repositioning himself at the foot of the stairs, he once more flexed his fake muscles.
âSupehfwuff do gud? Am gud fwuffy? Nu am wetahd?â He asked hopefully as Tom showed up once again, standing over the bannister.
He didnât say a word. Didnât have to. Instead a single slightly crumpled up chip bag came slowly fluttering down the stairs, landing at Tonkaâs hooves.
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What will happen?
- Tonka Goes to Dr Lynxâs Emporium for Retard Abuse
- Daddeh forgives him and they watch Sewious Justice
- Tom loses his mind and sets the entire house on fire