Uncommon Headcanons

We all agree that fluffies are

  • Fluffy
  • Speak in baby talk

and beyond that, everyone cries “head canon!” when difference of opinion comes about. Which is fine; diversity of beliefs gives us stories from every angle of abusing these tiny horses.

So what I ask is not “what is your head canon?” because that shows in your art, stories and posts, but “What head canon do you hold that no one else seems to?”

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@nobodyatall now is your time to shine

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I’ll go first:

Fluffies are symbiotic with self replicating, organic nano fluffies that give them the ability to speak, use higher brain functions, and assert inborn programing/controls from the manufacturer.

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My headcanon is that fluffies can say the basic words like mummah and miwkies but they dont know what those mean untill they are older, kinda like how a dog can bark without instructions. Most of their vocabulary is learned by being with other fluffies, but the baby speak remains from their instinctual genetic something something (im no scientist :P)
I also made a handy text of my personal headcanon thingy (a post hasbio one where fluffies are considered animals and protected as such by animal cruelty laws)

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I’m more of a person who picks different head canons and mixes them together adding and extra every now and then.
From fluffies being some kind of Franken-moster with other animal’s characteristics, pony appearance, cat size, fur who reflects light like feathers, the birdly chirps, a shit sack to use as self defense like squids, guinea pig balloon proportions for pregnant mares, piggy like screams, etc. To kind of a spoiler for my stories, but the evolution of their behaviour from innocent and honest fluffies to hellgremlins who pick favorites, rape and murder all happening because of some kind of natural selection.

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Mine is the ‘mummah fwuff’ that fillies start to grow at two months old until four months old. That second coat is to help keep babies warm and comfortable.

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funny you mention natural selection, in my headcanon the opposite happens, smartys and hellgremlims end being the most likely to die by natural causes (being too dumb to know danger), so natural selection ended favouring the kind and innocent ones

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  • Taken from the comments section of one of my stories.
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i think this one is pretty common actually. hits especially hard in sadbox stories

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comes in a full cyrcle actually, the innocent ones learn humans have favorite colors and preffer colorful babies, so a mare with colorful babies has more chances to get a home, they pass this until we get to the hellgremlins situation, on that points people are tired of them and prefer the innocent ones again, so fluffies learn to not be douches and treat all of them equally, eventually they’ll be good again and people will start to pick on favorite colors again since all fluffies behave, going back to the start.

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I don’t know how common or uncommon this take is but in my headcanon, Fluffies are always inherently good. It’s mistreatment or outside stimuli that causes them to become twisted or unmanageable

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In my little universe fluffies are actually highly adaptable. They usually end up soft and stupid because hugboxers and other fluffies raise them to be. A fluffy that is trained or toughened up or even just taught can become stronger and smarter if the process begins early enough. Thus allowing fluffies to adapt to their owners and living conditions.

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In my stories I have it that Fluffies do have the ability to swear, but they try to avoid it as much as possible since ‘bad words’ and all that. When a Fluffy does start swearing, it’s kind of like the first steps towards mental breakdown/wan die phase, where the psychological anguish has gotten to the point where they can’t hold back anymore.

This is why Crimson swears like a goddamn sailor, that he just likes saying Fuck.

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Fluffies are toys first and foremost. They have simple anatomy and sturdy construction to survive years of play. Their bodies are made to be able to take strain, but not to be able to hurt others.

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like the fewer there are parts the fewer chances that it will break?

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In my headcannon, Cannibal Fluffies are actually the result of the original fluffy programming/genetics, before Hasbio executives told scientists to make them objectively worse for planned obsolescence reasons, becoming active. The sharp teeth and extra protein needed in their diet are pure coincidence.

Not sure if it’s uncommon or not but I believe fluffies take about a year or so before they are fully adults. Most head canons I see have them growing up very quickly, while I feel their life spans are similar to cats and dogs. Though just like with dogs and cats it’s still possible to breed before reaching adulthood.

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Fluffies will use identifiers like blue babbeh or caste position like smarty/poopeh but proper names can only be given by a human. Domestic fluffies that are all named and loved from a young age can get along and conceptualize any herd size because they remember everyone’s unique name, but feral fluffies will become so frustrated at being unable to refer separately to similar looking fluffies in the same herd (i.e., two fluffies both being “red wingy fluffy” or “green toughie”) they will end up driving one individual or the other away, arbitrarily, based on noticing they get thinkie huwties around one or the other

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It’s okay to have a social hierarchy. It’s natural. Especially among ferals.
A bestest will not automatically turn into a smarty or a general brat, however it will be fed first.
A poopie will not always starve to death, it will just be fed last. Heck, it might even like being of service to the family numming poopies and being appreciated for that, since no other babbeh does that.

They all love their family and would hate to see them being harmed for some human conception of “justice” like “equal treatment of foals”. Yes even the poopie would hate that, especially if the human makes it clear it’s for their sake they are torturing the fluffy family. They inherently don’t get human values that go against their own unless they are domestic and have been indoctrinated with human values like “equality” from a young age. But even then it’s just habitual behavior that will be broken with lack of supervision.

Apart from that, as others have mentioned, I like reading how others take spins on things.
For example, one guy had a headcanon where fluffy poop was actually quite nutritious (I think because of their digestive tracks still being unoptimized when the peta raid happened) so that poopie fluffies could actually survive on a poop diet and would even be at an advantage during a nummie shortage for their readyness to eat poop.

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There’s no actual equine dna in the fluffy genome, the closest they get is cattle genes.

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