Just an alley fluff sleepin on her carton nest.
Man, it’d be a real shame if somebody just injected it with hydrogen peroxide. And recorded it combusting like a tic.
Oh, cool, a sleeping fluffy. I’m gonna do a real pro gamer move.
(Steppy steps over)
(Writes on box with sharpie “Only dumbasses sit in this box”, even though fluffies can’t read)
(Fluffy unexpectedly twitches in sleep, doin’ me an anxiety jump)
AH SHIT AH FUCK BETTER SKEDADDLE-
(Runs away, flailing arms)
(…Immediately trips over own fucking feet and collides with a street lamp)
I’m leaning more ‘massive gamma-hydroxybutyrate dose’.
And then play a fuser mashup of Tiny Tim and Slayer.
Poor thing must be very new or very sneaky if nobody has given it socially responsible skull destruction yet.
Any place where they can’t affect the economy, has a high politically moderate or liberal population, and the environment cannot support them beyond a certain amount would be a Hugbox area with laws protecting them to a certain extent.
You certainly wouldn’t want anyone to film you doing it on a phone then posting it to youtube or something.
Plus, efficient city gardening. Cheaper to hire someone to shovel manure than pay for teams and equipment to keep the grass low and kill pollen spreaders.
“Too wawmsies fow dese sowwy-poopies.”
In my headcanon, North Americans are too traumatized by what happened 2008-2032 to have much compassion for fluffies.
Liberals see an invasive species that is bad for the environment, so violently eradicating the ones you can’t domesticate is considered unfortunate but necessary.
Conservatives see a business opportunity (meat) and/or an animal that caused a lot of pain for rural communities. In some places, letting a herd of domesticated fluffies roam in a prairie for a while and then gunning them down is considered a fun time, reminiscent of the harder days when entire small towns would go out “shitratting” to try (in vain) to thin the megaherds that were slowly destroying the soil and the water.
Nice slice of everyday fluffy life.