you have decided to buy a friend for your fluffy caramel
go to fluffmart and see a black one away from all the others
oh god poor thing must be a victim of prejudice
Caramel certainly had experience being called a poopie
you ignore the cries of “nyu mummah?” and focus on her
“Hey sweetie, you ok?”
she looks up dejectedly at you before looking down
that’s it you’re getting this one
you go to the cashier, “How much is the black one?”
you ask pointing, “The Pegasus?”
you shake your head, “No the earth fluffy.”
his face goes pale
“Uhh ma’am you might not want that one.”
“And why not?”
he looks around and shuffles his feet
“Well she’s a bit… depressing. Last owners said they couldn’t handle being around her.”
how awful poor thing probably needed love to break her out of her shell
you grab her and head to the cashier telling her how it’s ok and how
how she’ll have a friend and get all the huggies and love she could want
she huffs and looks away more sad than angry
the car ride itself is uneventful until she says something that almost makes you stop your car in traffic
“Fwuffy wan die”
what?
already
“Oh baby no, it’s ok I promise things will get better.”
if you were looking the fluffy crosses her legs
“No any hope o pwogwess am iwussion. Wife is huwties.”
well at least she’s talkative now
“Did your old parents tell you that?”
you can see from your rearview mirror she’s shaking her head
“No fwuffy figuw it ou’. Fwuffy see mummah fwuffy kiww babbehs fo nummies ouside housie den ge nummed by fwappy munstahs.”
jesus
“You’re very brave to talk about something that scary.”
the thing shrugs
“Am enwitening ekpewiens, watew ask daddeh to wead Ciowan tu fwuffy. Bu daddeh stop.”
ciowan, she’s clearly smarter than an average fluff maybe it’s a fantasy series
“What’s the Ciowan story about?”
“siwwy mummah, ciowan nu am stowy am viwoso-fiwosobew. Ciowan say fowebah sweepies bettah den wife.”
“I understand why you’re daddy… uh stopped reading it to you.”
“an den watch nice mistuh wead beckew on widdwe teebee, him say dat aww wife jus distwaction fwom foweba sweepies.”
“espeshuwee fo fwuffy, who am put on eaf too suffew.”
yeah time to change the topic
“How about a new name, you sound like a Lydia.”
“Namesie wiww be fowgotten, wydia wiww be fowgotten. an individuism am economic constwuct dat impwisons wadew dan fwees.”
Jesus christ
well hopefully brownie enjoys her company
“Hewwo mummah!” he says with excitement
“Good news baby I got you a friend.”
“Fwen fo Cawmew! Cawmew wub fwend”
he runs in a circle around the carrier as you let Lydia out
“Hewwo am Cawmew, am nyu fwen! Wub!”
he says hugging her
luckily Caramel is neutered so nothing funny can happen
“wan pway!?” He asks
“Pway is diveshun fwom da gwave.”
this is it, will he understand her
“heehee, ou say funneh wowds!” he says hugging her again before bounding off
thank god
you usher them into the saferoom before heading to watch some tv
normally you’d want to make sure he integrated well with them but Lydia was a bit
much…
you heard them talking
at first Caramel was still talking and babbling in excitement
but as time went on he got quieter and sadder
you even heard some huus
you felt your heart race but tried to calm yourself
maybe he was just upset she was sad
that’s it
you sit there for a few more minutes
then you hear a skree and a thud
you race to the room
“Caramel! Caramel! Sweetie?”
no response
that wasn’t like him
something was wrong
you rush to the saferoom
only to find Lydia staring at you blankly
and Caramel having jumped off his playstructure with what looked to be a blankie tied around his neck
in the shape of a noose
completely still and lifeless
oh god
your baby was dead
and it was your fault
Lydia shrugs, “Cawmew am wucky one.”
“Wan die.” You scream at the top of your lungs in anguish
I’m thinking I’ll do a follow up where someone tries to use her as an abuse tool, with the disastrous consequences this good community expects from me.
10/10 That was hilarious and bizarre.
The Lesson: Don’t buy emo fluffies.
Holy shit!
15/10. I cackled with glee “into da void”
BUt what if you introduce a Emo fluffy to a Herd?
Please do
I think emo fluffs are the key to kill smarty’s they will lower thare egos
They’re emos but can’t do miracles
What about a herd of them. 20 fluffs telling smarty that he is nothing on the galactic scale will surely destroy his confidence
The ultimate psychological abuser, they work like the way voodoo dolls are except in reverse.
Each second of their presence is psychologically toxic.
There is no way to counter except for saying “fuck your bad vibes bro”
Really love this story and I’ve enjoyed your stuff that you’ve put out so far
In my whole entire time with fluffy group I never seen a fluffy hang themselves
Don’t talk about Nietzsche with a fluffy
Nietzche is weaksauce, I refferenced authors in the text that make his outlook look sunny.
FREE WILL IS A MYTH. RELIGION IS A JOKE.
WE’RE ALL PAWNS TO SOMETHING GREATER…
This ethos sums up most of my stories.
THE DNA OF THE SOUL!