On a dark and lonely night,
And with not a soul in sight,
With not an ounce of glee,
Came the herd of only three,
Wishing they could see a single light.
First there was Barge,
Named for being large.
He had a body full of fat,
And the mind of a brat,
That’s why he was in charge!
Then there was Silly,
Who was still just a filly.
She was a pet, back in December,
But now she doesn’t remember,
Instead she just cries shrilly.
Lastly there was Fart,
Called so for his art.
When danger did swell,
He’d give off a smell,
And away his foes would dart!
The herd of three walked on,
Wishing their food wasn’t gone.
But Barge was no dummy,
He’d needed it all for his tummy,
He couldn’t have brains without brawn!
Filly, meanwhile, was scared.
(Not that the herd even cared)
She didn’t want to roam,
She wanted to go home!
No more worries, all squared!
Fart said nothing at all,
Onwards he glumly did crawl.
Deep in his heart,
He hated the name ‘Fart’
But to argue with Barge meant a brawl!
Then the herd heard a sound!
And they dropped low to the ground.
They looked left, and then right
They felt such fright,
Because the noise came from the background!
They turned around in hurry,
And Barge released an awful slurry.
For they saw a terrible beast,
Who wanted them for a feast,
And that thought filled them with worry!
It had eyes like a hawk’s,
And sinister black socks.
With big snarling jaws,
Which gave them all pause,
It could only be… a FOX!
Barge shouted “Gu way! Dis ouw pwace!”
He stared the monster right in it’s face.
With his mind full of fear,
His eye leaking a tear,
And his heart starting to race!
The monster came near,
And Fart thought ‘oh dear!’
For deep inside his belly,
There was something very smelly,
And it slowly pushed out of his rear.
The fox suddenly halted,
It’s eyes stung as if salted.
There was a smell most foul!
So it ceased it’s prowl,
And over the fence it vaulted!
“Fawt save hewd!” Silly cried with joy,
He must be a genius, to think of such a ploy!
To have cooked up such a smell,
Like something straight from Hell,
He was like a hero of Ancient Troy!
Then Barge coughed with a hack,
And his eyes suddenly rolled back.
Then he fell on his side,
His tongue already dried…
He was dead from a heart attack!
