We Know Not What We Do
part 1
It was 6pm on a Tuesday and Steve just clocked out. The shop noise echoing down the halls even near the time clock. He was a bit lucky, he thought, as most of his coworkers were still on the clock, everyone but him putting in twelve hour shifts. Not that they minded he couldn’t pull the 12 hour shifts, he was taking college classes, a bit over half time, so his week nights were filled with hours at the local community college followed by hours of homework. Only to do the same thing the next day. Was it tough? Absolutely. Would it be worth it to get that degree? Definitely. Was it worth working while going to school to keep down on student loads? Not even a question, not for Steve.
It was a short drive from work to class, the route alternating between suburban sprawl and rural landscapes of farm and fields. It was not uncommon to see multiple fresh roadkill. It was uncommon to see a raccoon or a possum, maybe a squirrel. No, the grisly image of multicolored fluff and flesh being picked at by crows was disturbing. Something that was supposed to be so cute and child like, reduced to food for the carrion.
Class on Tuesday was differential equations. For some reason Steve thought it was a good idea to go for pre-engineering and then transfer. Well, it was a good idea because his job was paying part of the tuition on the agreement he gets his degree and works for them for a period of time after. Sure, he basically became an indentured servant, but at least he was guaranteed work. Of course, this also guaranteed limited free time.
It was almost 10pm by the time class was out and he was heading back to his car. At this time of the year the sun was setting before 7pm, the wind getting colder, and the trees starting to change. It was particularly brisk, he wished he has remembered his jacket as a small gust caused a shiver.
“What the hell is that?” A bright blue… thing could be seen sticking half out from behind his front driver wheel. “Hey, get out of there.” He nudged the back end of the fluffy with his foot. Nothing. Not a sound, just the slight movement he caused.
With a sigh he put away his bag and grabbed a pair of gloves from his trunk. Not knowing what might be wrong with this fluffy. Grabbing onto it’s tail he gave it a tug, the only resistance the friction between the fluff and the pavement. Clearly this was a dead fluffy. It seemed thin for a fluffy, not that he wanted to give this dead fluffy a once over.
chirp! peep!
He blinked as he pulled the fluffy from under the car to see two small tuffs of fluff that were different colors. One brown, the other purple. ~Well, fuck~ Steve thought. She crawled under his car for warmth and gave up the ghost, leaving two babies behind. He leaned back onto his heels staring at the baby fluffies, illuminated by the light of the parking lot lamps.
Steve knew of fluffies. As much as anyone. As much as an average person knew of dogs or cats. Of nuisance animals like groundhogs or raccoons. His last pet was a cat that died when he was 8, his parents never replacing the pet with another one. Some of his friends had pets, a few even had fluffies, but what sort of teenage boy wanted to play with a fluffy. As an adult, well, maybe they weren’t that bad.
Into a dirty cardboard box the two baby fluffies went. In his head he ran through the list of stuff he thought he would need. Sure, he could’ve looked up on the internet what would be best, but he figured even winging it he couldn’t do worse than that dead fluffy. Only a few occasional peeps and chirps emanated from the box en route to the local Big-Mart to spend as little as possible on supplies. Being realistic about the situation, Steve was not poor, but he didn’t have a large amount of funds to relegate for frivolous spending.
He returned home much later than anticipated. Of course, who would have expected to find two baby fluffies like that under his car? Or even that he would’ve felt enough sympathy to try and save them? He left the box on the table and prepped for cleaning with the cheapest fluffy shampoo that would get rid of fleas. He even bought a box of fluffy formula, just one, he wasn’t made of money. The cheap route was to just cut it with regular milk.
The size of the babies was surprising to Steve. A rough guess was that these were just a few days old, their eyes not even open. He did his best to be gentle, even so there were plenty of chirps and peeps of distress. Including as he checked their genders. The brown one a female and the purple one a male. The brown one had two tiny, mostly featherless, wings sticking up from her back. Their makeshift home was simply a towel in the box and a heating pad set on low. After he two babies were cleaned and then promptly fed a small mixture of milk and formula he prepped them for bed. Both fluffy babies curled up against each other, warm and sleeping peacefully.
She didn’t know much. Coherent thoughts couldn’t be formed, just ideas and sensations. She knew the smell of her siblings, of her mother. The calming song her mother kept singing. The soft and so warm fluff. The delicious milk her mother provided. She couldn’t put any of this into words, but she knew the love her mother provided. But, something changed. She didn’t know what, but it started to get colder. Her head waved about, listening and smelling. She could only find one of her siblings in her mother’s fluff. Her mother, she knew something was wrong. The song had stopped. The warmth was leaving. Her and her brother curled together in her mother’s fluff, needing warmth.
She was cold. She didn’t know what that was or what that meant, but she was cold. And she felt another new sensation. She was hungry. She didn’t understand it, but she knew she needed food. She needed warmth. She needed her mother.
Suddenly there was movement and she felt something around her, she peeped and squirmed, this was definitely not her mother and she was scared. Scared, tired, hungry, and cold. Then unceremoniously dropped onto something hard and cold. A moment later another thud, between chirping for her mother she heard her brother and crawled as best she could to his side.
The two curled together and shivered, sharing what little warmth their two bodies could sustain. She didn’t know how long they were left like that, but it felt like forever. Loud noises and getting jostled in new ways. She cried out for help as best as a two day old fluffy could, plaintive chirps and peeps, echoed by her brother.
No help came.
Not long after again she was lifted and dropped onto something soft and warm. It wasn’t her mother, this wasn’t her mother’s soft fluff. It wasn’t her body heat, there was no song of love. But it was warmer than where she was before. She was lifted again, but this felt different. This time what held her was warmer and softer, but in a different way. This was okay. She didn’t feel the fear. She didn’t feel cold. The hunger, while quelled by the fear of the unknown returned with a vengeance.
She chirped and peeped, begging whatever it was to feed her. But the food didn’t come. Just a new sound. Loud. Then it hit her. Instinctively she knew, this was bad. This was the worst experience in her life. She tried her best to escape, but the hand held firm as it washed her. Her tiny body was then roughed up after being immersed, her fur no longer wet she was dropped next to her brother. Her eyes still closed, she couldn’t see the hand grabbing him, but his panicked chirps plainly telegraphed that he was suffering as she was.
Into the corner she crawled, making herself as small as possible. Tiny tears formed as she shook, not from the cold, but from hunger and fear. She felt another impact and she could hear her brother having been returned. She could smell him. But it was different. She noticed that with her as well. The scent of her mother, the source of her comfort, security, food, warmth, and love, now gone. Washed away.
Again, she was lifted, not with the gentleness her mother showed. In mid chirp something was forced into her mouth and she immediately reacted by biting down. Milk. It was milk. It wasn’t her mother’s milk, it wasn’t that delicious. But it was milk. She suckled, hungrily, until she couldn’t eat any more.
Then she felt something wonderful, a soft touch, a comforting pet, around her head, neck, and down her back. Her tiny wings, which she forgot about even having, fluttered happily.
It wasn’t long that her brother was returned next to her. She could smell he had also had his fill. Together they cuddled on the not fluff, with the warmth that was not natural, but they fell to sleep together with the biggest heart hurties, even if they didn’t understand why.
6am came too fast. He knew before going to bed that this was going to be a chore and set his alarm a half hour earlier to deal with the foals. After the 3 S’s he was back into the kitchen to check on the foals. Not that he needed to see them to know they survived the night, he could hear them chirping from down the hall when he woke up. Both were crawling around and chipring looking for what he could only assume was their mother.
“Hey guys, I’ll get you some food.” He reached down and gave each one a gentle pet on the back and rambled about making another bottle. Both foals curled up together after the feeding and went back to sleep. As much as he wished he could do the same, he put his shoes on and headed out the door.
A quick chat with his boss okayed extending his lunch break to an hour so he’d be able to check in on the fluffies during the day. He also planned to stop at home before class. As grumpy he would be with losing sleep Steve knew it wasn’t permanent.
Over the din of the machine, Bobby yelled over to Steve, “So you got some of those shitrats?”
“Yeah, I think they’re just a few days old.”
“Oh yeah? I’mma get you some stuff to help out. Make sure to get a sorry stick. Like, don’t spend money on it. Get a back scratcher or even just a branch.”
“C’mon, that shit seems exaggerated.” Steve yelled back.
“Nah,” Bobby continued, “you gotta smack 'em around when they act up. They talk and stuff, but they’re actually really dumb animals.”
Steve thought on that for a moment, “any other tips?”
“Yeah. Never mention spaghetti.”
Steve laughed.
Bobby had a deadpan serious look, “I’m not fucking joking.”
“… oh.”
Bobby filled him in on the basics. Not sure what was embellished or exaggerated, he took mental note of everything. During his lunch break he ran home to find the foals in the same state as this morning, peeping and chirping and crawling around looking for food. He swapped the towel out, their digestive system clearly working fine. Another bottle and they both ended up like before, curled up together and sleeping.
Before class, the same as during lunch. After class, however, their peeps and chirps were more distressed. It wasn’t until he picked up the brown one that she had calmed down. Her brother crawling around, sniffing and chirping, still blind to the world, trying to find his sister or mother. His noises becoming more frantic until Steve picked up the purple one.
He had to alternate holding them in between a warm water wipe and feeding. Little did he expect just how needy they were going to be. But, this was his choice and he wasn’t going to flake out, even if he cheaped out on everything he bought. The next hour was spent on homework while also trying to keep the foals calm by holding them. Back into the box they went, the first 24 hours with his new pets wasn’t as rough as he expected.
He was hungry. He wasn’t cold, not with this unfamiliar not-mother fluff, and knowing his sister was there was calming. But the quiet, aside from the peeps and chirps from his sister, was scary. Not as scary as the awful noise when he was under that warm stuff and then rubbed roughly, but scary none the less. It had been forever since he last ate. Not that he could tell time, but he could certainly feel the hunger.
For the few days old foal, he tired himself out very quickly. It took so much energy to crawl around. More energy wasted by chirping, begging for food, begging for his mother. It didn’t take long before he tired himself out and went back to sleep, curled next to his sister.
A loud thud scared him awake, scared the shit out of him, quite literally. Chirps of fear from both him and his sister called out for their mother, but no response. Only to find his sister suddenly gone, and if by magic, retunred smelling good again. Not as good as their mother of course. Then it was his turn, lifted, roughed up, and… smelling good again. He almost didn’t want to be put back down, but he couldn’t communicate that. But before he could do anything that not mother’s teat was in his mouth. His hunger satisfied, he pushed his head back with a tiny burp.
This wasn’t mother, but, this wasn’t so bad. Whatever was holding him was warm, comforting in a different way. He rolled about as best he could as he was held and pet. He wanted this to last forever. It was so good, he even drifted back to sleep. He didn’t notice when his sister was placed next to him, as she was also fast asleep, both content as they could be.
