“But it’s obvious!!”
You lay in your little cage, listening to the shelter workers talk. Like you had for the last two days. You woke up, ate your food, made good poopies and went back to your shallow bed. The doctor let you keep the towel you arrived with and you wrapped yourself in it, clinging to Pete’s fading scent.
“I know, I know. But we can’t prove it, and if we can’t do that we can’t deny her. City mandate. If fluffies come in they godda go out.”
A few humans had come in to look at you and ask questions. None of them wanted you. The parents of the little girl steered their kid away after a single “wan’ die”, the young couple looked at you with sad eyes as they went home with another mare, the old man wished you luck as he picked a foal. No one wanted you. You were too broken.
“So what do we do?! Just let her pick her next victim?!”
You had been counting the days on your bandaged hooves. Today was the third hoof. The third day. If no one took you home today the doctor would give you forever sleepies like you deserved. You closed your eyes, inhaling the little foal’s scent. You would be with him soon.
“It sucks, but what I try to do is find one that’s not getting adopted anyway. Like this one.”
You cracked open one eye to see two of the shelter workers looking into your cage.
“Hi girl,” the man said. “do you want a new home?”
“Wan’ die.”
“Yeah, see?” He turned to the woman. “If she is an abuser she’ll end up killing her pretty quick. If she comes back right away we can blacklist her, otherwise she’ll have to find another victim somewhere else.”
She looked at you, chewing her lip. “I just…”
“I know.” The man put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s an impossible decision but that’s what working here is, a thousand impossible decisions. She’s getting put down tomorrow anyway, so it’s better than an adoptable fluffy going with her.”
“…Okay.”
The cage door opened. “Come with us girl, you’re getting a new home.”
You let them pick you up and put you in a cardboard box. One very similar to the one you left the foal place with but larger. You gave one last look to the towel, your last momento of Pete, before the lid closed over you.
Resting your head on your hooves you wondered what this meant. You had planned to sleep forever, to escape this horrible reality and find out what was after it. You hoped it was nothing, like the place you went while you were with the herd or after the doctor’s medication. A shapeless void, where you were formless and mindless. Where nothing hurt because there was nothing to hurt.
“This is the only one we have adoptable right now.” the woman said.
The lid cracked open and you looked up into a strange face. Another woman, her bright red hair cropped short and many bits of metal poked through her face. She gave you a smile, not friendly but hungry, predatory, and closed the lid again.
“She’ll work. We’ll have lots of fun together.”
“Welcome home, shitrat.”
The box tumbled to the floor, lid popping open as your body slammed into it and released you onto the cold concrete. Once you’d rolled to a stop you lifted your head, looking around your new space.
It was a basement, cold and damp, with a heavily stained wooden workbench on one wall and a tool rack behind it. You had landed in a small corner of creature comforts: a bowl of filthy water next to a stained food bowl, a ripped up blanket with some questionable dark brown patches, a plastic tub with a thick layer of crusted on litter around the top edge.
“You and I are going to have some fun!” The woman said, stepping over to the tool rack and looking over her options. “Let’s start you off with something easy, hm? A simple game.”
She grabbed a black coil off a hook and turned to you. “Run.”
You stared at her blankly.
“I said run, shitrat.” She uncoiled the whip, that hungry smile spreading across her face.
You didn’t move.
SNAP!
Pain exploded across your face, sending you tumbling to the floor again. The woman laughed as you clutched your muzzle, feeling the blood soak into your bandaged hooves.
“I said run!”
You got to your hooves, turned to her, and sat back down.
SNAP!
Again you were thrown down by the force of the whip, this time shredding your ear. Again you got to your shaking hooves and sat down in front of the woman. Her smile slipped into an angry sneer.
“Is there something wrong with you? Do you want to get hit?!” She asked.
“Wan’ die.” you replied.
“UGH!” She threw the whip down. “They gave me another fucking broken one!”
She stomped up to you, fists curled in rage. You closed your eyes. Here was your end, finally.
Her foot slammed into your belly, sending you into the air. You flew for a moment, then your head impacted against the wall behind you and you slipped into the void.
“…Mom, please…”
…
“…No, I don’t- I didn’t-…”
…No, not the void. Just sleep.
“… Don’t… mom, that hurts…”
You could hear the woman talking to someone, but no response.
“No! No I don’t…. I didn’t say that!!”
You cracked one eye open, something crusty feeling kept the other shut. Your head pounded with every beat of your heart.
The woman, your new owner, sat against the back wall with her knees up to her chest. She had one of the human’s little rectangles pressed up to the side of her head.
“I’m not calling you a liar! I just… mom please…”
She was crying. You blinked, expecting this to be a product of your head injury, but it didn’t go away. The human was crying, tears and snot running down her face. You… didn’t know humans did that. What could make her feel so bad?
“Wait no, mom, please I… hello??..” She slowly set the rectangle down on the floor next to her and curled into her knees.
You got your hooves under you, slowly. They were shaky and unsteady, they wouldn’t quite listen to you. You forced them to carry you, one hoof in front of the other, over to the woman. You hadn’t seen a human act like this before. You knew this sort of misery, this pain, like you knew your own purple fluff. To see it on a human… it hurt you. In a way you didn’t think you could. Whatever made her hurt like you was bad. As bad as what you had gone through, or even worse.
The basement wasn’t large, but the distance was more than a little difficult for you to waddle over to her in your current state. You could feel all the broken parts of you shifting around as you walked. With your eyes locked on the woman in front of you it all fell away.
Right now it was just you, her, and the misery of the world.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” she mumbled over and over into her knees, rocking back and forth gently.
You made the last few steps to her, tripping over the whip on the floor, and touched your bandaged hoof to her leg.
She lifted her head, glaring at you. “Fuck off.”
You took your hoof back, sitting by her feet in silence.
Finally she lifted her head again. “What do you want?!” she snarled.
You thought about that for a moment. “Hope… wan’ yu feew bettah.”
“Ha. Feel better. That’s funny.” She uncurled, letting her legs splay out on either side of you. “You’re Hope then?”
“Yus. Namesie am Hope.”
“Alright. I’m Riley. How are you going to make me feel better?”
You thought about this too. What could you do for her? You didn’t even know how to make yourself feel better. You couldn’t help Pete.
“Hope… nu can.”
“Not going to offer me your huggies and wub?” Riley asked.
You shook your head. “Huggies nu fix anyting.”
“Huh. You’re smarter than most.”
“Nu.” You let your hooves slide out from under you, laying on the cold floor. “Hope nu am smawt, jus… knu.”
“How you figure that one out?”
“Hope couwd get aww da huggies fwom fwuffies, it nu make babbeh pwace cum bak. Couwd gib aww da huggies to wittow Pete, nu am make him bettah.”
“Pete?”
“Hope fin’ babbeh. Awone, in boxy house. Nu couwd gib foebah sweepies, su jus’ taek babbeh wif.” You stared down at your hooves as your breath caught in your throat. “Hope shouwd hab hewped. Babbeh wait tuu wong. Hab huwties. Nice Dok-tah gib babbeh namesie and foebah sweepies.”
Riley sighed. “You’re a better mother than mine ever was.”
“Nu. Am bad mummah.” You said.
“No, really. She dumped me off at my uncle’s house and just… disappeared for most of my life. When she came back she didn’t care what he’d done to me…”
She trailed off there. You saw a glassy look in her eye, as if you could see the floaty void place you were so familiar with.
“Hope hab bad huwties, dey make huwties nu huwt. Ebwyting huwt, den nuffin’ huwt.”
“So they did give me a broken one.” Riley stood up, grabbing her phone from the floor. “I’ll have to go find another fluffy to take this shit out on.”
“Hope can tink ob huwties.” You said, looking up at her from the floor. “Am suwe sumting stiww huwt.”
She stared at you. “… Why? You want to hurt?”
“If Hope hab huwties make Wiwey feew bettah, den wan’ huwties. Hope am hab wotsa huwties, nu mind a wittow mowe.”
Riley gave you a strange look as she turned to the basement stairs. Pausing at the base of them, she hung her head for a moment before speaking again.
“I’m… going to get some food. Do you… want some? I can get like… a burger or some ramen or something…”
“Yus, Hope nu cawe wha’ tho.”
“Alright. When I’m back we’ll… talk some more. Okay?”
“Otay.”
