-------------------------------------------What is best in life? -------------------------------------------
“Nu uh! Sketti is da bestset ting ebah!”
“nuuu! huggies am bestest ting, wub huggies! wub huggies mostest!”
“ou fwuffies am dummehs!!! pwayin am bestest-EST!”
Since lunch time, Sammy (blue pegasus mare), Hulk (green earthie stallion), and Nemo (orange and white unicorn stallion) had been firecly debating over what is best in life. They had just met today when all 3 were dropped off at the same time during opening and it had been smooth sailing up until now.
After some introductory huggies, they had instantly became the bestest of fluffy friends. They spent the better part of a morning chasing a big red ball before moving onto some high intensity block stacking. They broke a day care record with some incredible teamwork. Hulk was so strong, he was able to push under Sammy and lift her up high enough to make a 5 block tower, handed to her by nemo who orchestrated this engineering project. Tuckered out, they formed a hug pile and napped.
The adorable huggie pile had awoken to the sweet sweet aroma of skettis. The usually jaded employee was so pleased with how well the fluffies had behaved, she allowed the three fluff-kateers the privlege of sharing a can of dollar store fluffy skettis as a treat to have with their lunch.
It was truly the best day a fluffy could wish for at daycare. Enjoying the post sketti glow, licking the sauce off his lips, Nemo couldn’t help but make one little innocuous comment that would cause the first conflict these bestest of friends had all day.
“mmmmm, nemo wub skettis! skettis am da bestest ting ebah!!!”
Hulk was drinking water to wash down his skettis. Swallowing a big gulp he turned to nemo with an enlightened look on his face.
“skettis am bestest NUMMIES ebah, but PWAYING am bestest ting ebah! huwk hab biggest heawt happies when pwayin, especially wiff daddeh! heehee. wub wunning an pwayin!”
Sammy leaped on nemo and huwk from behind and they rolled over causing all three to giggle as they landed in a tightly embraced huggie pile.
“hee hee, wub skettis an wub pwaying, but HUGGIES am bestest thing ebah!”
What started cordial became more heated as the trio had been passionately making their case for over an hour now. No longer hugging and giggling, they were all facing each other like a triangle trying to look tough and intimidating but only managing to look even cuter as they got more upset.
“we pway aww bwite time! we hab wots ob funsies and waffs! wememba baww? fwuffies fowget baww? wub baww! fwuffies nu wike baww?!!!?!?”
Hulks voice was heavy with accusation. How could they forget how much fun they had? This was nothing short of betrayal. Sammy was aghast at the indictment.
“sami wike baww! sami wike baww wots! an bwokies tu! buh wememba wen fwuffies fiwst be nyu fwens? we hab huggies! huggies am how mak nyu fwens! huggies gib heawt hapies an eveb mak owies go way! huggies am BESTEST TING EBAH!”
Regretting having ever given the fluffies a treat, the day care employee put in her headphones just in time to muffle nemos declaration.
“Skettis am bestest nummie AN bestest ting ebah! wememba hao mani heawt happies wen we fin ou we ged skettis? nebah ebah met fwuffy dat nu wike skettis! NEBAH! eben daddehs wub skettis! cuz sketties am BESTEST!”
The frustrated fluffs were puffing their cheeks and trying to look fierce. All three had opened their mouths to reiterate their cases, but they were cut off by the tell tale jingle that signaled the entrance of a human into the daycare.
Walking into the day care was a well dressed middle aged man with slicked back black hair. The clerk looked up and took out her headphones right as he marched up to the pick up counter.
“hey im here to pick up hulk, im in a rush so make it quick, ok? c’mon chop chop.”
Seeing his daddy, hulk ran over to the edge of the waist high gate where the lobby met the main day care room, his previous argument with his flufy friends completely forgotten.
“DADDEH! huwk hab bestest day! make nyu fwens and pwaye-AEE bad upsieeEEEEfofff”
Annoyed at the rudeness of hulks owner, the clerk HAD roughly picked up hulk and stuffed him into the carrier. He wanted quick, shed get it to him quick on her terms. Quickly spinning around and shoving the carrier into the hands of the owner. Hulk was a bit larger than the average fluffy, not getting a chance to orient himself, he was awkwardly crammed into the carrier with his back legs bent in strange position that was uncomfortable but didn’t actually hurt.
The man was not in the least upset with the rough handling of his fluffy.
“Hey that’s more like it, here’s my credit card. lets keep up that pace”
As she checked him out with an annoyed scowl on her face, Hulk spoke up again
“oof-daddeh huwk nu wike sowwy box, nu can mobe” hulk then remembered what he wanted to tell his daddy. “daddeh! huwk hab su much fun pwayin wiff nyu fwuffy fwen! but huwk weawwy wanna pway wiff daddeh! pws can we pway wen ged home? pws daddeh!??”
“No. I told you, after my day job I work from home at nights now. I don’t have time to play with you anymore, this job is important and I’m going to be busy for a while.” He said in an annoyed tone
sniff “otah daddeh… if daddeh nu can pway, can huwk at weas pws nu stay in sowwy pen? nu can wun ow pway vewy gud in sowwy pen.” Hulks voice had gone from excited to demure and hopeful
“tch… I told you its not a sorry pen, its just a pen. I cant have you running around like an idiot while im trying to work. If you’re good on the ride back, ill give you a can of spaghetti.”
Tears welled up in hulks eyes as he knew he would be spending the rest of the day in that cramped meanie pen all alone while his daddy was busy with his computer box. The promise of spaghetti might have at least dulled the pain a bit had he not just had some a little while ago, but unwilling to anger his daddy further hulk just whimpered out
“otah daddeh… tank ou an… sniff huwk wub ou daddeh…”
“yea yea”
Finishing the checkout process, the clerk handed the credit card back to him wordlessly when the slick looking man snatched it out of her hands while turning and making for the door.
Hulk was now silently crying in his carrier. Feeling very sad to be leaving day care and his new friends. His slightly larger frame was still wedged in an uncomfortably cramped position, he couldn’t even turn to look at them again and wave good bye, nor reach his face to wipe his tears. The jingle of the door then confirmed hulk and his daddy had left the building.
Nemo and Sammy witnessed the whole thing, but were mainly just sad to see a top tier fluffy playmate like hulk leave. Despite their arguments, they had bonded. Sammy latched onto nemo for a tight hug. Returning the hug, mentally Nemo was hyper focused on the mention of sketties. While he did over hear enough to understand hulk was to be denied his favorite thing for the rest of the day, he still felt a twinge of jealously at hulk getting promised more skettis. You could never have enough skettis.
At that moment Nemos stomach gave a quick gurgle, which prompted nemos face to quickly contort into panic. He shot up quick enough to flip over sammy. Then ran over to the litter box as fast as he had scrambled all day.
“nee make gud poopies NAO!”
He jumped into the litter box with such speed he slid a few inches in the box before coming to a stop and squatting over to do his business, although for a little bit nothing came out.
Sammy was a bit shocked from his outburt flipping her over and realized she almost made scardey peepees and had to rush to the litter box herself. She was able to hold it long enough to make it over to the litter box and huffed as she mirrored Nemos squat beside him and said in an annoyed voice
“wai scawe sami? awmos mak bad scawdey peepees! ou no eben make poopies yet!”
Nemo was still squatting waiting for his poopies to come out but managed to look guilty and feel bad
“sowwy nyu fwen. nu mean to scawe sami. Nemo wun as fas as can to wittabox wheneba feew wike poopie time. daddeh sai fwuffy dat mak bad poopies nu get sketti an daddeh stiww mad ad nemo fow makin scawdey poopies wast bwite tim. sniff nu mean tu be ba buh su mani woud bang soun su scawey! nu ged skettis and daddeh mak fwuffy num “gwat vawue” kibbwe. is worstest nummie EBAH. taste wike HRRRGH POOPIES”
Finishing his long winded explanation, he finally released his little pile as he said “poopies”. He kicked some litter onto it and stepped out the box waiting for Sammy. Samy finished her peepees and some good poopies as well for good measure. After stepping off the litterbox Sammy walked up to the guilty looking unicorn and gave him a hug.
“it otay nyu fwen. nu be saddies”
Returning the hug nemo thought while huggies still werent better than sketties, they were almost as good.
Just then the jingle rang out throughout the day care. Nemo and Sammy were too tied up in each other to even register the implication of a jingling alarm that signified a daddeh (or nyu friend) has arrived.
A haggard looking man walked in. He was wearing dirty and cheap clothing, he walked up to the desk and spoke up to the clerk.
“Hey im here to pick up my fluffy, nemo.”
“Ah yes, you’re nemos owner then? Before I can get him, we have to talk about your monthly payment you made. The check bounced”
Looking crestfallen, the man said, “look about that, I’ve come up on hard times since the divorce. The bitch is taking me for everything. She drained our accounts before running Aruba.”
Nemo finally realizing he could hear his daddys voice snapped up to attention and again flipped over Sammy who had been hugging him and coo’ing. After righting herself with a huff, she ran over and followed him.
Making a heavy sigh, the clerk replied “alright we can meet you half way, take nemo home today, don’t bring him back until you settle the account. no interest” Giving his own sigh, the haggard man just wordlessly nodded.
The clerk reached over and picked up nemo before handing him to the haggard man.
“DADDEH! nemo miss ou daddeh! nemo made nyu fwens an pwayed, had bestest nummies an mad gud poopies an nemo tink maybe gib nemo skettis tonite fo bein gud fwuffy? nu wike yicky gweat vawue kibbwe…”
The haggard man looked a bit embarrassed and got a bit defensive.
“Nemo! I told you we cant afford to have spaghetti anymore! Your very smart daddy managed to get a whole crate of that kibble for 20 dollars. And dont think I forgot about your bad poopies. If you’re good we can have spaghetti AFTER you finish the entire crate. Now, say good bye to your friend, you wont be coming back here.”
“nemo nu com bac?.. sniff huu huu bai bai nyu fwen.”
“huu huu sami wiww miss ou. bai bai”
Reaching out for one last huggie, instead of getting closer they got further the haggard man began to leave. Fully intending to never pay his outstanding bill, he would simply bring nemo to a different CHEAPER daycare to save some money. Sammy was standing her hind legs looking over the gate looking devastated knowing nemo wasnt coming back and would have to keep eating the worstest nummie he hated.
Sami whimpered while looking at the door, now all alone in the daycare. Her day had started out so fun and wonderful, but now all her friends had gone and seemed like they were having big saddies. And damn it now she had them too. She wanted huggies but there was no one to give them. She made her way over to the stuffy friend in the huggie pose and gave it huggies. Sammy however was a huggie connossuier, the cheap immitation just wasnt the same. Quality huggies had warmth to them. But mediocre huggies was better than no huggies.
“miss fwens, miss mummah… mummah gib bestest huggies ebah Sniff”
After a little while the jingle rang and in walked a soccer mom looking woman with a carrying case. Before she could even make it to the front desk, sammy was peering over the gate and started excitedly hopping on her back legs when she confirmed her mummah had returned.
“MUMMAH MUMMAH MUMMAH! HUGGIES! SAMMY NEE HUGGIES”
“Hahaha Calm down! Sammy let me check out first”
After going through the motions with the clerk, Sammys momma went straight for the gate and picked up sammy before cradling her into a hug.
“Hey my little cutie? did you have a fun day at daycare?”
Sammys heart saddies melted away right then.
“yus mummah! mak nyu fwens an”
Sammy was cut off when her momma suddenly broke the embrace and held her at arms length and shouted
“UGH GOD, IS THAT PISS? DID YOU JUST GET PISS ON ME?”
As it had turned out, Nemos explosive outbursts had caused sammy to release a small amount of scardey peepees before she made it to the litter box. It was just enough to wet the fur on one of her back legs which had just rubbed on her mummas nice blouse and arm.
“WELL? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?”
Had sammy not just used the litterbox, she would have expelled everything again. Still not sure how the bad peepees got on her, Sammy was frozen in fear at having upset her mumma. Unable to form words, Instead she just let out a frightened little POOT
“OMG YOURE SO FUCKING GROSS. THATS IT, YOURE GETTING THE SORRY STICK AND THE SORRY BOX WHEN WE GET HOME”
Sammy was roughly shoved into her own carrying case and quickly began crying
“huu huu am sowwy mummah! nu mean tu be gwoss yicky stinky fwuffy… pws nu sowwy box! wub ou mummah! wan huggies wid mummah!”
“I AM NOT TOUCHING YOUR NASTY ASS FOR AT LEAST A WEEK! NO MORE HUGS EITHER!”
“huuu huu am sowwy mummah. am bad fwuffy huuu huuu”
Heading for the door, Sammy and her bipolar mommy got in an SUV, the entire time Sammy’s weeping could be heard until it pulled away.
The clerk smirked as the last fluffy had finally left the building. She stretched her arms finally able to really relax. Checking her phone she saw she her boyfriend had texted her a picture of a romantic candle dinner he was making for her. A thoughtful evening planned out for when she got back from her shift, along with some spicy ideas he had in mind for her.
Good food, fun times, warm hugs, all great things indeed. But the best thing in life was to be truly loved.
(cue dont you forget about me song)
Hulks time squished in his carrier ended up doing long term damage. His back leg had its circulation completely cut off during the drive back which required it to later be amputated. On the same side, hulks front hoof also ended up permanently bent which would have made it impossible to run even if his back leg wasn’t removed. Hulk never ran again, living his life in a cramped area watching the Fluff TV his daddy set up for the newly immobile fluffy. He would loudly cry whenever he saw programs of fluffies happily frolicking and playing, which was quite frequently on Fluff TV.
Nemo at first had lost weight because he found it so difficult to keep down the nasty kibble. Never truly growing accustomed, he did become better at tolerating it and resolved to finish the nasty nummies so he could have yummy sketties. However within a few months he developed heavy metal poisoning as the toxic metals in the low quality kibble had built up in his fragile fluffy system. Unable to afford the very reasonable cost of treatment, his owner ended up relinquishing nemo to a no kill shelter where he remains, being given the bare minimum treatment by a hug box funded organization. Constantly feeling sick due to the metals that remained in his system, he frequently is heard weeping through the night.
Sammy was punished thoroughly for staining her mommas designer blouse. For the rest of her life she had patches of flesh amongst her back furr where the sorry stick stripped the skin from her body. So unwilling to forgive the little fluffy, her momma ended up giving Sammy away to her autistic niece as a present. Unfortunately for Sammy, her nyu widdwe mummah does not like to be touched and screams every time Sammy tries to give her huggies. Sammy spends most of days silently sobbing while hugging two tear soaked stuffy friend she named Nemo and Hulk.
The clerk went home and had a wonderful dinner with her boyfriend, followed by incredible sex. He later proposed and they now have a happy life with 2 beautiful children and a third on the way.
The end.