The agreed canon of fluffies says they came to be in a Hasbio lab and were being developed as a product for the market, but were prematurely released into the wild by PETA, giving us the extremely flawed fluffies we all love to abuse. My question is: if fluffies were developed to the complete state that Hasbio were willing to release to the public, what differences would there be to the fluffies we write/draw about? Obviously the issues with discrimination against alicorns and unattractive colours would have been addressed, but is there anything else you think a âcompleteâ fluffy would have? My thoughts were:
Increased emotional intelligence, so they could identify when a child was sad and comfort them, or inform parents if they noticed a regular pattern of sadness in a child
Being able to sing in tune, so they could sing along to nursery rhymes and such
A preprogrammed list of âgood mannersâ that they could reinforce to children e.g. always saying please and thank you
Do you guys have any thoughts on what a market-ready fluffy would have been like?
patterns/colors being easier to choose
caring less about getting babbehs and gud feews
less fragile, but still soft (so kids can use them as a pillow)
maybe their fur being actually able to keep them warm?
In addition to the general polish (like not defecating everywhere and being less suicidally-stupid), Iâd say completely incapable of independence from humans:
Sterile, no reproductive drive, no herding behaviors / hierarchies, no aggression (even defensive aggression), even less drive/competence for nesting and foraging.
Basically, if separated from its owner, it would simply lie down and cry rather than make any attempt at survival.
Iâd say the drive for independence is what makes fluffies suicidally stupid, and fixing that problem will solve the other.
Similarly, I think an ideal fluffy would have an engrained hesitance about leaving its saferoom without human supervision i.e. more scared of whatâs outside the door than it is curious.
To be more specific on this point:
Fluffies have extremely liquid feces which implies poor water absorption, and may go with their fear of water. Aversion means they wonât drink too much, so like cats they are meant to get most of their moisture from food (which does not really go with the kibble business model).
The desire to eat spaghetti is clearly a massive problem, since everything from the presence of meat to the allergies to the multiple common ingredients (especially the oil, and preservatives in canned variations) would worsen that issue.
Ultimately, I doubt Hasbio would have prioritized it. Aside from enhanced sphincter control.
But aside from that, Hasbio would just see it as an excuse to sell cleaning products, new Fluffies when ragemachines beat them to death and buy a new one like a redneck with their kidâs hamster, and potty training seminars in Fluffmarts like Petsmart does with dogs.
Only if Hasbio launched a chain of enhanced daycare centers alongside the Fluffy launch.
We saw what Hasbio intended with Fluffy independence. They have a television program supposedly for owners to put on to keep them quiet like a child with sesame street that instead literally awakens puberty in them on purpose to make mares demand babies and stallions demand mares.
They literally intentionally cause runaways leading to feral infestations, resulting in local governments paying Hasbio exterminators. Who are just random rednecks who invade peopleâs lawns illegally and start gutting Fluffies, spreading toxic chemicals, and lighting them on fire, leaving an even worse mess behind than the Fluffies did.
Naw, Hasbio wants them to run away, survive outdoors, make giant herds, then return to humanity to be an even bigger pest. The only reason to make them less survivable on their own and more loyal would be if there was a better profit margin in it. Like, say, making Fluffies functionally immortal so long as they keep drinking something that gets progressively more exoensive at each five year milestone or something that only Hasbio sells so Hugboxers end up lifelong clients, taking out a loan to keep their childhood talking pet alive long enough to see their grandkids.
If a canon creates a character who founded Hasbio, or a lead scientist who started the project, or some similar figure who was obsessed with MLP or The Last Unicorn or something, then I could see a superior Fluffy as their life work.
But Hasbio is a comedically villainous megacorp. Like the Umbrella Corporation if their business model was like Mom from Futurama, selling crap and ruining the planet on purpose for a quick buck.
Hell, I could see a perfect Fluffy already existing but being traded on the black market since Hasbio has copyrighted Fluffy genetics. Going even further, you could make some amusing dark commentary on all these people who torture Fluffies or have then exterminated getting the genes of themselves and their kids tweaked with Hasbio-copyrighted genetics, making them step by step as much âsoapâ as Fluffies are. A cease and desist to stop using Hasbio products for a social media influencer who had their eyes or skin colored, and now has to have that removed by law.
Hasbio can end up making Umbrella look decent and honest.
I guess in my headcannon I always assumed that Hasbio capitalizing on runaways, extermination services, etc was just an adaptive business maneuver after fluffies were released early and everything got out of control, because having sole control over fluffy creation would seem like an intuitively smart business move, given the opportunity.
That said, I actually love your vision of them as so comically evil that they intentionally created fluffies as a environmental disaster. And itâs probably even more realistic tbh, given how jaw-droppingly evil most IRL corporations are.
I think other important lessons they would teach in them. Obviously not discriminating based on colour as well as helping those that need more help without judgement.
I also think they would be less mentally fragile as in they wonât burst into tears if shouted at as children do say things in bad moods that they donât mean
Now that I really think about it, the shitting seems like a survival feature. Either something leftover from the base animal they were modified from, or an intentional trait Hasbio created.
Using google and my own background knowledge, Mustelids (otters, badgers, ferrets, skunks, etc) are the only mammals with that defense as a feature. But only spraying or wafting foul smells from a specific gland, not actual feces. Mustelid sounds like a good candidate for the genetic base of Fluffies, especially since the fucking Tasmanian Devil (reproduces exclusively by rape, kills and starves most of their own offspring, males aggressively form clan groups and disfigure each other for leadership, see Tasmanian Devils Have No Right Being This Cute - YouTube and Honey Badgers: They Don't Care - YouTube ).
BUT
The only animal that employs âsowwy poopiesâ is a bird. The Hoopoe.
So signs point to explosive shits as an intentional Hasbio modification to Mustelid anal gland defenses.
Basically nannies for children so parent wouldnât have to do that except for the feeding. Letâs be honest, parents want less and less to do with children and want others to somehow educate their child, they donât have time, they want their own personal time and get the kid to shut up and donât be a bother.
Fluffies might fit that role if they ended up as planned, a playmate to the kid, singing songs, telling stories, show them manners and maybe even potty training or assist the kid with some meals (bottle of formula for example) and smart and emotional enough to know when they child is not ok and call for the parent. Growing up might be more like a pet, a talking one, and might be useful for many on their teens since they might constantly assure them itâs gonna be fine and stay there with them.
Without interference, fluffies might be the ones raising humanity⌠itâs creepy to think about it. As for color, just pretty colors I guess, pretty stuff sells better.