You inject the sleeping smarty with the “behavioral serum” marked #3, you use the alarm clock to wake up the fluffy, the paper says his name is Newton, you will call him 321 (serum number three, version number two, Subject number one).
“Hewwo! Whewe am Newtown? Whewe fwiends go?”
‘Upon awakening, subject 321 shows no sign of distress over confinement, only mild confusion.’
“Shut up” you say to your partner. “Your new name is three two one, here is some sketties.”
You put the plate of spaghetti in front of him and wait for his response.
“Sketti? Thankies nice mister!”
You watch as the fluffy closes it’s eyes and slowly walks to the grates, gently hitting his head, upon impact the fluffy sits and holds it’s head before dropping on his back.
As it gets up, it tries to lick the pasta through the holes in the carrier.
‘Subject appears to have an impaired spatial awareness and increased sensitivity to cranial trauma.’
“Dude, just write, you don’t need to say it out loud.”
The fluffy stops and sits, you wait for it to scream and demand, it instead goes to the corner of the crate and charges the gate, you prepare to end the experiment and write him off for “self destructive behavior” until the fluffy stops on it’s tracks before uttering a downright bizarre statement.
hunf Newtown nuh even wan sketti 'nyway." You actually flinch when the fluffy quickly turns and tries to shake the door open.
You watch more closely as it sits and starts just sniffing at the air and making noises while licking it’s lips and chewing air.
'Subject appears to have an impacted short memory formation, having not responded to a change of name and not reacting negatively at not being able to reach the reward. Subject appears to have hallucinations. ’
“You’re going to do that for every single one ain’t you?” You decide to take away the pasta while it has it’s eyes closed.
“Hey 321, did you like the sketties?”
No response, it just opens it’s eyes and looks in confusion.
“Your name is 321, did you like the sketti?”
“Newtown wub sketti, thankies nice mistah.” The fluffy says smiling.
"Your name is not Newton, it is 321, say it, three two one.
No response
“Newton, say three two one.”
“Twetuwam.”
“That is your new name.”
No response.
“What is your name?”
“Newtown.”
“Newton will get hit with the sorry stick, what is your name?”
“Twetuwam.”
You pinch your nose and breathe in deep, trying to hold back the urge to throw the fluffy against the wall.
'Subject appears do be ignoring negative stimulus unless threatened, drug appears to have increased self preservation instincts based on behavior of subject prior to exposure. "
“321, did you eat the sketti?”
“Fwuffy nuh can weach sketti, so fwuffy num mind sketties so nuh geh saddies.”
‘Subject appears to’ SMACK CRACK “That was not nice, I bought that clipboard myself.”
…
"321, are you seeing this tied up fluffy in the train tracks?:
“Fwuffy see.”
“There is a train coming, if it runs over that fluffy, it will die. But If you pull the lever right here, the train will stop a” He pulls before you finish talking “and you will get hit with the sorry stick…”
“… huu”
“Let’s do it again.” You flick the lever. “If you pull the lever you get the sorry stick and the other fluffy survives, if you don’t pull the lever, he dies an” he pulls it before you finish talking again. “and you get sketties.” You hit him with the stick. “One more time, you press the lever the other fluffy lives and you get hit, you don’t press and he dies but you get sketties. That’s all.”
He pulls the lever. You hit him with the stick.
‘Subject pressents selflessness opposite to it’s behavior prior to exposure to serum, will suffer light physical harm and refuse rewards to save unknown other.’
You take the tied up fluffy from the tracks.
“Okay 321, either you get hit with the sorry stick, or the other fluffy does.”
“huuuu nuh wan sowwy stick.” The subject bemoans and you hit the other fluffy, it cries over its gag.“huuuu sowwy nyw friend.”
“Okay, now, either you get the sorry stick or the other fluffy loses one of it’s leggies. Forever.” The subject hugs the tied up fluffy.
“Pwease nuh take weggie, fwiend nee weggies fow wun an pway.” You smack 321.
“New one, either you die or the tied up fluffy dies.”
“huuuuuuuuuuu wan wive, huuuuu” It falls down crying in fetal position
‘Subject shows empathy previously unrecorded in it’s past assessments, self preservation still intact.’
…
Your whole team gathers in the cafeteria to quietly talk about how each team serum is going.
“It seems to have worked on all the smarties we had at hand, I say we move to long term and put them in the sink to see if there is long term damage.”
"The two of you do understand we don’t even have the cash for that right? More importantly, neural reprogramming with a modified rabbies virus? Who thought that was okay?
“Do you guys want a zombie plague? That’s how you get a zombie plague.”
“I mean, I’m all for recovering smarties instead of killing them, but this is going a little too far is it not?”
“Look at least you guys had the decency to write notes on paper like I asked before, let’s just destroy any evidence, write this as a total loss and come up with an excuse before we get the government cracking down on us for unlawful gain of function research.”