Why I'm here

Not in the universe, but like on this site. After all I have no interest in most abuse, and Hugbox tends to get old fast. Really besides sadbox getting me to actually feel something I understand this place actually harms my mental health. In fact I kinda realize that my content doesn’t really mesh well with a lot of things here which is why I sorta love making it.
Because it’s two levels, of not belonging. Fluffies are not designed with cruelty in mind and the general headcanon is illogical and edgy and has way too much faith in the competence of humans. To show that even in this world one man’s urges are unappreciated and meaningless, that the hunter often is fated to die just as painfully as the hunted, and that every short burst of pleasure is but a brief spark in a void of numbness. That corporations instead of trying to be as mean and nasty as possible instead put on a mask of lukewarm personability to hide a black hole of apathy and greed. So seeing all of it fall into a terrifying void is just really amusing. It gives me a feeling I tend to call detached morbid bemusement. I admit I struggle with depression, and depersonalization, so maybe this is just me screaming into the void.


Optimistic nihilism:

“Were all doomed, so we might as well have fun while were here.”


What you said reminds me of the song no one lives forever


Weltschmerz, possibly.

A family friend of mine had it for a long time. He dropped acid with someone experienced he trusted and something in the experience gave him a new perspective.

Not recommending, just commenting.


That’s it!

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Wait isn’t it 6:00am in Russia? Is this and early morning or a late night.

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Sometimes all we have to listen is the void, sometimes we get lost in it, consumed by it, but we’re never alone in it, just one of many souls trying to find meaning.


I struggled with Depression and a lot of other mental illnesses for a long time, and while I still have them, I stopped struggling as I got therapy and turned my life completely around.
I have to honestly say that I am only here for a the laugh. Not only on this site, but living, in general. What life is and what you make of it, is different for everyone but I spend a good 20 years of my life struggling, fighting and being caught in the endless void that is thinking about how it all ends or how everything is essentially meaningless and honestly, it is. In the big picture, most things don’t make a difference and if humanity doesn’t manage to get of the this planet before its completely devoured by the sun, everything on this planet will be gone and thus. Forgotten. But honestly, that doesn’t mean that I can’t have fun or that everything has to be meaningless for me. I try to make the world a better place because everytime I give happiness, I get it back in the same and/or higher amounts and thats all that really matters to me.
Yeah, sure, one day I will be forgotten but honestly, whatever. I am not here for a long time, I am not here to be remembered, I am here to have a good time and enjoy the tiny spec of a microsecond I am allowed to have alive and by gosh, I will enjoy it in full.
So yeah, do what you love. If this site isn’t it, stop it. Come back when you feel better and if you come to the point of saying “this isn’t it for me”, then do something you enjoy and makes you happy.

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omg Exurb1a <3

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I don’t understand what you feel, but I hope you’ll feel better soon. I really love your stories, but I understand our art is sometimes fucked up (not people tho <3)
If you will have a break or leave completely, I understand you, if you’ll stay and post stuff, I’ll be happy and read all of them, but it’s important that you care about yourself first and internet after

I actually found abuse to be healthy in one specific aspect. I have a conure that unconditionally loves me, but im often too busy or lazy to spend time with it.
The psychological abuse posts involving neglect opened my eyes to how a bird would suffer if i didn’t give it the time of day when it craved attention and love so I started setting aside time everyday to hang out with it and give it love.