Wish for Starlight (by ChefFoe)

Steven walked down grayscaled city street, the nip in the air cutting through his light jacket. Getting off work later, the sun had gone to sleep, leaving the moon out to play. Heading to his apartment, thoughts of dinner rummaging through is mind, he hung his head down. As he was about a block from his building, passing an alleyway, he heard a small voice.
“Mummah!, Mummah!”
So small, almost unnoticeable
peep “Mummah! Babbeh has hurties! Need huggies an wuv!” A quiet huuhuu could be heard.
Steven walked down the alley towards the voice. Coming to a knocked over cardboard box was a grisly sight. A Fluffy mare had been strewn about, as if something had hit the poor thing around like a kickball. Blood painted the pavement like a macabre art piece. Foals butchered in various ways, the luckiest being simply crushed underfoot it appeared. Two had been torn apart like gift wrap. About 3 or 4 (hard to tell as their corpses melded together) had been used as projectiles in a “dart” game that had been hastily drawn on the wall. One had been nailed to a board and left upside down. And finally the last one, peeped in distress.
He looked at the small figure, bright yellow with a deep navy blue mane. It had its bottom half crushed, the top half left uninjured. Whomever was tormenting them left one barely alive and alone. A cruel cherry top to a sundae of torture.

"Its not going to last the night " thought Steven.

He used to have fluffies when he was little. A stallion named Flame, for his red and orange color, he loved him to death. When he past the family never got another. Steven had moved out a while ago but still had a soft spot for the unfortunate creatures. Steven bent down to the poor thing and looked closely at it. It noticed him and began to scream “Nnuuuuu, Nu hurt babbeh! Am sowwy, pwease nu hurties!” It broke down in tears as it realized it couldnt run. “Huuhu, weggies pwease wowk, need to wun!” The sad things struggle to run ached Stevens heart. They couldn’t have just killed the poor thing, put it out its misery.
“Im not going to hurt you little one” Steven said reassuringly “I promise i wont.” The crumpled yellow foal stopped trying to run. “Pwomise?” Its stared at hime with tear soaked eyes. “Absolutely” he responded “how about you come with me?” The foal looked up at him “yu…wan fwuffie? Be nuw Daddeh?” Its voiced now strained from screaming. “Yes, i will be your daddy” Steven said while cupping his hands “im gonna pick you up now, ok?” He nugged his hands towards it. The foal looked at his hands and then nodded while closing his eyes. Carefully scooping up the foal, he allowed it to mainly adjust itself. He didnt want to move it in a matter that would hurt it. After having it secured in his hands he walked home, his thoughts on how to make it comfortable in its last hours.

Closing the door behind him and locking it, he looked down at the fluffy foal in his hands. The things back half had been smashed in. Its back legs were destroyed as well as the spine in that area. It being this late, no fluffy vets were open to help. He grabed a washcloth from the kitchen and set the foal on it, wrapping it up to get it warm. “At least it will die warm” Steven thought. “Hab…hurties” the small pony said meekly. He gently brushed the foals mane with his finger “Ssshhhhh…its ok little one. No need to cry anymore” he said, trying to calm it. “Ill get something to stop the hurties ok” the foal looked up at him with sad eyes “o…otay” it layed its head back down on the cloth. Stevn went to the medicinal cabinet in his bathroom and found some liquid painkillers. With a quick search on his phone, he found the proper dose to give the little one. He poured some in a very small medicine cup, looking back at the bottle, he dropped in a bit more. It wouldnt hurt after all. He rushed back to the kitchen. “Hey little one, i have some medicine for you” he said in a sing-song tone. No response. “SHIT” his brain screamed. He checked the foal, still breathing. Steven’s brain went a mile a minute thinking of a way to get it to respond. “Hey little one, how would you like a name?” He said while petting it. It raised its head a lot faster then he had seen it move before “Na…Namesies?” It chirped happily with some energy. “Definitely, but i need you to stay awake and take this medication for me, got it?” Steven responded while showing the cup. “Yus Daddeh, fwuffie wiww stay awake fo yu.” It seemed to be a lot more active now that was getting a name. Steven helped the foal down the bubblegum flavored painkiller. The foal looked over at him meekly but expectantly. “Alright, what shall we name you…” Steven thought for a moment, then a plan came to mind. “I know ill call you Starlight, after your pretty yellow coat.” Starlight beamed happiness as it said “yay, Stawwight wuv new nameie!” It wiggled it front hooves as it exclaimed.
cough
a small spirt of blood came from the foals mouth. cough,cough
Steven patted Starlight’s back gently and wiped his mouth before Starlight could notice. After its coughing fit had ended, it smiled up at him weakly.
“you know what Starlight” Steven said to get its attention “im gonna give you a wish, anything you can think of, ill try to get it” he said this knowing its fate.
Starlight was a bit confused, a wish, for whatever he wanted. He struggled to think, but one thing did stick. “To…to see dah pwettiest bwite wites that mummah twaked about” Starlight said. “What are the pretty bright lights, Starlight?” He asked, he had no clue what the fluffy was talking about. “Mummah towd us about dah pwettiest wites when babbehs wouwdnt go sweepies.” Starlight reminisced “Mummah said that high in dah sky when it goes dawkie time wewe dah pwettiest wites of aww cowows an’ it was dah most pwetty thin’ mummah ebah saw.” Starlight looked sad and tears came down his face. “Buh Stawwite hab nebah seen dah wights, was nebah cwose enough to see them.” Starlight looked back up at steven with tear soaked eyes “Thats what Stawwite wants to wish fo’”
“A simple wish, just to see the stars at night?” Steven thought to himself. “Of course i can take you to see them” he said as he held the foals hooves “if you let me get ready, i can take you to them, ok?” Starlight practically jumped up from his spot on the kitchen table “WEAWWY! thank yu so muchies Daddeh! Wuv you!” He wrapped his front hooves around Stevens right hand.
cough cough cough
More blood went out the foals mouth. Starlight looked down at the blood that had landed on Stevens hand. “Booboo juice…nu few pwetty” Starlight flickered out of a faint but looked up at Steven with a smile.
“I need to hurry, its going soon” Stevn thought as he wiped off the blood from Starlight. “Give daddy 2 seconds and we will go see the lights.” Steven said letting go of the foals hooves. He quickly grabbed a more comfortable cloth for Starlight as well as a thicker coat. He ran back and swaddled the fluffy carefully in the cloth, making sure not to hurt it. “Alright Starlight, we’re going to see the bright lights.” Said Steven “but i need you to cover your eyes so its a surprise” Starlight covered his eyes while giggling to himself.

Starlight had covered his eyes like Daddy said. He giggled to himself. Daddy was actually taking him to the bright lights that momma had talked about. Starlights heart hurt a bit to think about his momma, but was quickly washed away by daddys warm body. He heard a door open and close. He felt daddy go up some stairs for a while. He simply snuggled as close to daddy as he could, his warmth spreading to Starlight. Starlight felt very sleepy, but daddy had asked him to stay awake so he would. Besides, if he fell asleep he would miss out in the lights. Daddy had stopped somewhere, Starlight could smell the outside air. A door opened and cool winds bellowed down on Starlight, but daddys warm embrace staved it off. Daddy walked out a bit and then sat down. “Alright Starlight, you can open your eyes now” daddy said.
Starlight opened his eyes and looked at what laid before him. It…it was so pretty. Red, blue, yellow, purple, and every color in-between. The lights were low and high, wide and tall. It sprawled as far as the eye could see. It was so pretty. Starlights jaw laid agape from awe. “Look up” daddy whispered. Starlight turned his gaze to the sky. The sky, it was filled with lights. So many that no fluffy could ever hope to count. In shapes and colors not thought possible. The dark blue of the sky exactly like the shade of his mane. Each one just a pretty as the last.
No. It was more than pretty, it was beautiful. Starlight had never heard that word, but it was the only one that could come to mind.
“Daddeh…it am… am pwettiest ebah…” Starlight trailed off, still quiet literally starstruck. No matter where he looked, only pretty lights glowed. But he felt tired, so very tired. He started to close his eyes. " little one, look at that" his daddy exclaimed, while pointing high up in the sky. A single light had moved! Running across the sky, leaving a trail of light behind it. “Wha…what dat daddeh?” Starlight said weakly. “Its a shooting star, you make a wish with it.” His daddy said “but you cant tell anyone, only the star can know, so it can make the wish for you” Starlight looked at the star. A wish only i could know. He was so lucky, he was given 2 wishes today. But Starlight wanted to share his wish, with all the other Fluffies. So he thought of a wish.
Stawwite wan aww othew fwuffies tu hab a gweatest Daddeh like Stawwite. So deh can hab wuv an huggies.
Starlight made his wish in silence. “Otay Daddeh, Stawwite make wish.” He said while snuggling up to his daddy. His dad held him closer. They sat in silence for a minute, just staring at the sky. “Daddeh, can Stawwite go sleepies while lookin’ at pwettiest bwite wites?” He asked hesitantly. He felt very tired, about to fall asleep. But he needed daddy to say he could. “Yes, yes you can Starlight” daddy said, he looked kinda sad but he smiled at Starlight so he thought nothing of it. “Thank you Daddeh, Stawwite wuv you.” Starlight said readjusting himself into a comfy position. “Daddy loves you to, my little Starlight” daddy said to him as he held him close.
That night, under the clear starry sky. Starlight fell into the deepest sleep, surrounded by his daddys warmth and love. Dreaming of the prettiest lights and his daddy.

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First time writing here. Any advice is appreciated

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IMG_9196

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I cri

Dude this is great! The only thing that actually comes to mind is you may wish to go with the old standard of starting a new paragraph every time a different person or for that matter fluffy speaks. It helps organically break up the otherwise large text junks that are not especially reader friendly.

That said, please write more; you jammed a hell of a lot of feels into half of a dying foal.

Thanks. Im definitely writing more stuff. Ill keep that in mind for the next one.

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I second what Grim said. The formatting needs work, but for your first story that was very good.

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