Ask if she has an owner. If yed, then try to contact owner and let them deal with her as they see fit.
If she is a feral, tell her that she is caising you problems by smearing the glass, and sternly tell her to leave.
A good, or even just canny, fluffy will go away at the first command. Let her leave in peace.
Bad fluffies will stay and beg or make demands. Kill her and dump her in the trash.
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Kick her in the stomach not too hard though if she aborts here you’ll have to clean it
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Well, if you’re at work there’s likely a dumpster. Toss her in. If she’s lucky it will be empty and she’ll break her neck. Sometimes the simplest solution is the best.
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Make her dance for her new home.
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Do absolutely nothing. Neither help nor harm. Just… watch. Watch her injuries get worse, her shivering grow more erratic, and her pleading more desperate. Nature will run its course.
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Give her to that nice Mr. Kloffman. There is usually one at the job. You will not want to invite him home, but having something like him owe you a service might come in handy.
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Dump hot tea on her. Should warm her up.
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Sparta kick like never before.
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Anyone remember the ice bucket challenge?
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Take her in under the pretense that I’m giving her a nice home. Take her to a storage room or a single-stall bathroom, then stuff a rag or towel in her mouth to shut her up (duct tape won’t work, as she’s all wet from the rain).
Rub her calloused hoof pads down with sandpaper until they’re fully sanded down, then rub salt into the exposed nerves. Press my full weight against her tummy until all her tummeh-babbehs pop out, because it’s pretty much commonly accepted that that’s how pregnant Fluffies work. One by one, kill each one of her chirpies with my bare hands while holding them close to her face, either by strangling them, breaking their necks, twisting their heads off, ripping their entire bodies apart, shoving my finger down their throat until they choke to death, or crushing and squeezing them until they pop. Put the dead chirpies in the toilet, and hold the mummah face-down in the bowl as I flush it. Keep holding her face-down until she stops moving. Put her in the trashcan, and take the bag out to the dumpster.
Did she deserve it? Nah, but who cares?
Or, idk, depending on my mood, just call up the local shelter and have them pick her up.
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Quit bleeding on my window! (Punts mare like a soccer ball)
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Wow, I was not aware that parsley actually had an abortive effect. Strange to have learned a new medical fact on here of all places^^
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Yeah same, lol. It is the oil in it called Apiole which induces uterine contractions and miscarriage and its cheaper than going to a vet or buying abortion skettis in a Fluffmart.
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Much tastier, too! I wonder if a good, parsley-filled tabbouleh would tempt a domesticated mare?
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Also you can make it more tempting by putting the tabbouleh on top of boiled noodles or spaghetti like a sauce or instead of the meat and add a dizzle of a simple condiment sauce on top and call it something like bestest milkies sketti…she’ll believe it
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Hmm, I wonder if you could replace the bulghur with orzo or a similar small pasta. Top it with a tahini and parsley sauce, and a fluffy would devour the “babbeh sketties”.
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They probably want it to look stringy so either spaghetti, Linguine, Sagne torte, Mafalda, tagliatelle, Scialatelli, Bucatini, etc would look more appealing to thrm since they got spaghetti hardwired in their programming they would even chew wires or string cuz it looks like spaghetti.
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What about some sort of vermicelli? It can be broken into short lengths, so it’s identifiable as noodles, but not too long.
Another option is couscous. It’s technically a form of pasta.
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As long as it vaguely looks like sketties in any semblence of the word im sure itll look appealing to the mare even if shes a bratty spoiled one
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Grab the emergency defibrillator from the first aid kit and make sure it works.
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