Hello everyone and welcome back to Work of Madmen, here’s chapter 3 and depending on if I feel like I want to jump out of a window or not I might release a bonus chapter today as well.
Fun Fact: Mabel is a black belt in Karate. Fluffy-nappers will have an unpleasant beatdown.
. . .
Your name is Abul. A few weeks ago, your fluffy Scourge confessed that he gained human intelligence after you sent him to those weird scientists. You got a good amount of cash from it, and Scourge came back stronger than ever. You’re about to take him back home from his meetup with Odin, but you stop yourself when you see Mabel.
Now you’ll admit, you developed feelings for Mabel. You admired a lot of things about her, but one thing you liked the most is how she wasn’t someone who coddled their fluffies and instead treated them as they should be treated. None of that hugboxer shit, not some crazed abuser, just a normal person who happens to have the result of a dangerous experiment. You told Scourge about it and he laughed at you. He just said to ask her out. You don’t know how the fuck he has any advice, but you might as well try it.
“Hey Mabel, I uh… wanted to ask something.” Mabel turns to look at you, Odin in her arms. Odin flicks his gaze at Scourge, and Scourge is giving you a impish grin. You make a mental note to either cancel spaghetti day or give him an extra serving depending on how this goes.
“What’s up Abul? Need to talk?”
“I was just thinking… would you want to go grab dinner sometime?” Mabel looks at you surprised, and Odin shares the same look. Then he gives the same impish grin to Scourge (somehow even worse), and Mabel looks at you.
“Are you asking me out?”
“Er… yes?”
Luckily, she smiles. “Sure! Name the place in a while. I’ve got a cannibal, a pregnant mare and a slightly toothless fluffy to deal with back at my place. Text me!” And with that, she’s off.
…
“Smooth.”
“Shut up.”
. . .
Your name is Lavender, and the day has been boring. None of the fluffies want to play with you! Even when you said you were the new smarty! That dummeh soon mummah could barely move, her special friend was very protective of her after you threatened to give forever sleepies to her tummeh babbehs, the munstah didn’t like you after you hurt her, and the other one was weird. If you looked at him, he seemed hungry. If you got too close, he seemed to drool a bit, but shook his head and went back to laying down in silence. You were so tired of this! You walk over to the monster, and puff your cheeks out.
“Dummeh munstah pway wif Wavendew NAO!” You snarl. She looks defiant, yet scared.
“Nu. Seasheww nu wan pway wif meanie fwuffy.”
How DARE SHE!? You were the smarty, and you always got what you want. This stupid munstah…
“Pway wif Wavendew, OW GIT SOWWY POOPIES!”
“NU! NU WISTEN TU MEANIE FWUFFY!”
Her choice. You turn around, aim your ass at her, and let loose a stream of foul shit. She dodges, but some splashes onto the wall and on her ass. At this point, that dummeh fluffy nummer is trembling, muttering something to himself. You don’t care. You turn back to the munstah, who is looking on in horror.
“Pway wif Wavendew, ow Wavendew wiww mak’ mummah gif munstah fowebah sweepies!”
“Huu hu… otay…”
She dejectedly rolls the ball to you over and over, and you were satisfied. The poopie stallion looked on in disgust and rage, but he knew his place. A stupid poopie fluffy. A poopie fluffy? That gives you an idea. You walk over to him.
“Gif Wavendew’s poopie pwace wickie cweanies nao.”
“Nu. Nu haf tu, gu way.”
“Gun mak yu!” You run behind him, and flip the poopie mare over. She starts flailing, and you rest your hooves on her stomach. You begin to press.
“OWWIES! NU! BAD HUGGIES! BAD FOW TUMMEH BABBEHS!”
“PWEASE NU HUWT SPECIAW FWEN! WIWW WICK POOPIE PWACE!”
Hmph. You let her go for now. The poopie stallion sobs while he begins to lick your poopie place. You look at the fluffy nummer. Wait, he wasn’t there. You hear snarling, and the stallion stops licking your poopie place. You turn to the side, and nearly jump out of your skin. The fluffy nummer is there, with a infernal look in his eyes, snarling, drool dripping from his mouth. He walks towards you. You walk back.
“G-gu way dummeh poopie! Am smawty!”
“Yu nu huwt hewd nu mowe. OW PWETZEW WIWW NUM YU!”
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! SCAWIES!”
You make bad poopies and run to safety, as you hear Mummah walk through the door, and her face turns sour when she looks at the saferoom.
. . .
You’re Mabel, and you are very excited. Abul asked you out a while ago, and Odin can’t seem to understand. But when you get home, you look at a confusing scene. Acorn is flipped upside down, sobbing. Peanut is sobbing, trying to spit something out of his mouth. Seashell is sitting sadly in the corner. And Pretzel’s face is in his hooves, and you hear faint growling. However, there’s a horrid stain of shit on the wall, and you notice Seashell’s ass is stained. Lavender also shat on the floor from fear.
“What happened.”
“Huuu huuu! Meanie fwuffy nummew gif scawies, an sai wiww num Wavendew, an wingie pointie fwuffy mak’ bad poopies!”
It slightly makes sense, but you look at Acorn. “What happened to her?”
“Acown faww ofah!”
God, you can’t deal with this shit. You grab Pretzel and Seashell (Odin protests against this) and take them to the bathroom, grabbing the sorry stick on the way. You give Pretzel a stern look.
“Pretzel, we were over this. I told you, you wouldn’t be eating any fluffies unless I said so. Why aren’t you just biting toys like you used to?”
“Bities nu hewp! Pwetzew twy an twy an twy… bu’ Pwetzew am stiww fwuffy nummew…”
“God, fine. You’re getting the sorry stick, and I’m calling Janet. As for you…” You turn to Seashell.
“I thought you would know better. I took you in from the streets, and this is how you respect that? Ever since Lavender showed up you fluffies have been harassing her. The hell is wrong?”
Seashell doesn’t respond. They both had a bit of shit on their fluff, so you roughly clean them, and give Pretzel the normal amount of whacks with the sorry stick. It pains you to hurt him, but he’s not doing much to control it. You let Seashell go back to the safe room, but keep Pretzel away for now. Hopefully some isolation will help him get his mind off of cannibalism.
. . .
“So you’re telling me, you just happened to accidentally clean Acorn’s ass with your tongue?”
“Uhm… yesh.”
“I thought we went over this the day we met. No more eating shit, no more being a punching bag. Mom understands that Acorn can’t move. Don’t be so scared. I’m going to talk to Seashell.”
You leave Peanut alone, and walk over to Seashell, who has just returned. “Seashell, what’s wrong? Why did you do this? I thought you knew how to shit in the litterbox.” She doesn’t respond. God, it’s so fucking frustrating. You turn to Mabel, and before she starts cleaning you ask “Mom, I need some time away from… all of this. Can you let me into the backyard?”
“Sure. Here, let me get you outside.”
. . .
You breathe in the fresh air, and immediately your face falls.
“Mimir? Shifter? Ventriloquist? I know one of you has to be out there. I need some Jellenheimer level advice.” Shifter appears from a bush. You hoped you could at least get Mimir so you could talk to him, but you guess they’ll have to do.
“Uh… do you know where Mimir is?” Garbled noises and aggresive nodding. “Do you three take turns on watching us?” More nodding. You guess the three are you, the mare, and Scourge.
“Did Seashell actually shit on the wall?” Shifter pauses, then shakes their head so aggressively you think it’s going to fly off and break the fence.
“Dear god, calm the hell down. But if it wasn’t her, was it Lavender?” They nod, but with less intensity.
“Do you know why?” They shake their head. Weird. Maybe it was because Mimir had some sort of supernatural hearing? Shifter’s only ability is shapeshifting, as far as you know.
“Thanks. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have important things to do.” You flop on the ground, and rest on your side. Shifter stands still for a bit, then walks over and does the same. Must come with being a mimic.
. . .
You rest for a few minutes, and Mabel’s footsteps can be heard. Shifter springs up like a cat, and starts scrambling up the fence with such speed you would have thought someone set their ears on fire. You hear a faint plop from the other side, and Shifter’s gone. That was disturbing as hell. Mabel opens the door.
“Hey Odin. I’m done cleaning. Wanna come back in?”
“Sure… but I think Lavender shat on the wall, and not Seashell.”
“Why do you think so?”
“The garden creature told me.”
Mabel looks around, as if trying to spot something hiding in the bushes. “Odin, what the fuck are you talking about?”
“Kidding. Maybe. Either way, actually ask Lavender. If she doesn’t use her name, then you give Seashell spaghetti and give Lavender an ass whooping.”
“Fine, but we’re talking about the garden creature later.”
. . .
“Lavender, did you make the bad poopies?”
“Nu! Fwuffy nu mak’ bad poopies!”
“She didn’t use her name. I’ll go tell Seashell the good news.”
While Odin walks over and starts talking to Seashell, who noticeably brightens, you grab Lavender, and she recognizes the sorry stick. And immediately begins pleading.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEE! NU HUWT FWUFFY! AM SOWWY! FWUFFY AM SOWWY!”
“Shut up. Not only did you shit on my wall, you shat on my floor, blamed it on the poor Alicorn I adopted, and are STILL lying to me.” You extend the sorry stick, and you bring it down on her, HARD. The cracks and screaming fill the air, and after ten medieval style whacks, you let her back into the saferoom. Odin looks satisfied, and all is well.
. . .
You are Lavender, and your mummah gave you the worstest hurties ever! YOU! THE SMARTY! It’s unbelievable. The herd hated you, and didn’t listen to you. You couldn’t even be the smarty because that stupid fluffy nummer won’t let you! Everything sucks.
Wait, babies. Babies make EVERYTHING better.
. . .
“Mummah! Can Wavendew haf babbehs?”
You let out a long sigh. Seashell never had this problem, and Acorn didn’t care. Of course, this little shit troublemaker just has to have babies, right! You look at her.
“No. Acorn’s already expecting foals. I’m not having more fluffies run around than needed.”
“WAVENDEW WAN BABBEHS! WAN! WAN! WAN NAO!”
Today was going so well. Abul asked you out, and you were excited, but Lavender just had to throw a tantrum. You want to give her a chance, she’s probably tense because you don’t know how to deal with Pretzel. But you’re still pissed. You decide to put all that karate training to use, grab the sorry stick, and whip it at her face so fast the pain doesn’t even register for a second. Then, crying and screaming.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OWWIES! WOWSTEST HUWTIES! HUUUHUUUU! FWUFFY AM SOWWY!”
“NO. BABIES. Now run back to the herd.”
. . .
Your stupid mummah just gave you the worstest hurties, but you ponder on it. You can’t have babies because that stupid enfie mare has them. If she could have babies, then why couldn’t you!? Then it hits you. If you give her tummeh babbehs forever sleepies, then YOU can have babbehs! You chuckle to yourself, already plotting.
. . .
Once again nameless, once again can’t give a singular shit to save your life. You follow the path Mimir set for you, and you find yourself at a familiar scene. It’s the place where you first saw him. There are still blood stains from the fight, yet it’s slightly comforting. You see a box, and its covered with a blanket, and has one on the bottom. You curl up inside, and begin to rest.
. . .
“Well look here, I found a mare. Alicorn, too. maybe we don’t kill this one and take a side job.”
Your eyes snap open and see a human. They wore clothing with odd symbols, but you could tell they weren’t good. They look at you.
“Heheh, hey little girl. Don’t worry, we’re here to take you to a new home.” The human turns away. “Little shit won’t even doubt it. Let me get the sleep darts.”
They both turn back, muttering and cackling, and you take it as your chance to sneak off. You round the corner and sprint.
“Hey there- wait, where the fuck- HEY! COME BACK HERE!”
Shit. You can’t hope to outrun them, as the human reaches you and grabs you by the neck.
“I get paid well enough to cave in the skulls of shitrats like you. Maybe instead I’ll just kill you.” he begins to squeeze. You cough and gasp for air. No, you came too far… you came so far… and all of this… just to die like this… you close your eyes, giving up hope.
“HEY! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH MY FLUFFY!”
“Oh shit- this was domestic! I’m sorry, I didn’t know! She was in a cardboard box!”
“You’re lucky I wont call the damn police.” The grip loosens, and you look up at another human. He walks away without a word, but once you’re far away, he looks at you with a smile.
“Hey there girl. I’m Caiden. Saw those bastards hurting you. Disgusting. Sorry for lying back there, but I couldn’t let you die. Now let’s get you to your new home.”
. . .
“Hey everyone! I’ve got a new arrival! But for now, I’ve gotta do some cleaning! So you guys get to play with her outside!” Cheers from fluffies erupt everywhere, and you’re all deposited into a huge backyard. Caiden pets you and tells you he’ll be back, and to get comfy. You thank him silently, but you needed to find that fluffy. Everything else didn’t matter, there was no guarantee you would enjoy this new home. A golden pegasus walks up to you.
“Hewwo. Am Auwum. Auwum see fwuffy am wingie pointie. Haf bad mummah?” You think for a bit. You don’t remember having a mother. You shake your head. Aurum sighs like she’s done this before.
“Pwease mak’ dis eas-ee an’ tawkies.” You give her a look that says sorry. She sighs and walks away, presumably to Caiden. You want to get out of here as soon as possible, and you see a hole in the fence. A smiling red face is peeking through. You look back to all the fluffies, and mutter a silent thanks to Caiden for saving your life. You step out the hole, and greet Mimir.
“Hey. Nice choice for a location.”
“You think I knew? Whatever. Are you sure you want to leave?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I- you know what, it’s useless. You’ll go anyway.”
“If he isn’t here, then I’m not staying.”
“Very well. You are getting fairly close, but the man unfortunately brought you away from the direct path. If you head straight, you will locate a backyard. In there, you will find your fluffy. It will take about a day, though. I wish you luck.”
And with that, Mimir is gone. You turn back once more, and you already hear Aurum calling out for you. But you don’t care much. They saved your life, and you’re thankful, but you need to go. You set out to this supposed backyard, directly forwards. You hope this isn’t all for nothing.
