(Author’s note: had to get this out of my head so I borrowed a computer, I’ll be back from vacation and resume more regular uploads soon. Now on to the story!)
“Cwimson nu wike dis” the pink unicorn muttered as he looked through his binoculars (actually just two toilet paper rolls taped together) “Nu wike dis at aww.”
He backed up from the trench’s parapet and only got lost once while turning around before he headed into his bunker. His bunker was actually just several old amazon boxes taped together, but his ‘men’ were waiting for him inside. Seven rough and ready fluffies, each so tough that they hardly shat at all when shells (firecrackers) went off.
“Wisten uppie! Da enemy am gonna make attakies soonie!” Crimson told the others.
Obvious-Traitor, a neon green pegasus piped up at this, “How yu no dis Cwimson?”
“Weww, firs dey had a sign with wettews on it, bu Cwimson nu no how tu wead, so den they sen a poopie fwuffie to make tawkies, bu da poopie wa tu dummie tu make tawkies, su den dey sen a wess dummeh fwuffy to ‘splain dat dey gonna make attackies, an nu teww Cwimson ‘bout dis. Bu ‘fowe Cwimson couwd teww dem dat Cwimson am Cwimson, dey wen back to dey twench.”
“bu why yu tink dis mean dey gon gib attackies soonie?” Obvious-Traitor countered.
“Cwimson nu no, bu Cwimson tink dey gon attakie soonie anyway, Cwimson just hab tummeh feewing. ‘cause ob dat, Cwimson nee-” Crimson was cut off by a fluffy sticking her head into the bunker.
“We gon gib attakies nowsie, ‘k?”
“Dat ok” replied Crimson before he turned back to the others.
“Now dat Cwimson gib mowe tinkies, yu pwobabwy wight Twaitow, da enemy nu gon attakies today.”
“Skuse me?” The mare stuck her head into the bunker again. “Fwuffy wa wong eawiew, dis am de attakie, yu am unda attakies.”
“Nu” Crimson responded, “Cwimson had tinkies an yu nu attakie today.”
“Bu dis am de attackie” the mare said, confused.
“Nu, da attackie nu today.”
“Bu attakie am today, fwuffy am pawt ob da attakie.”
“Nu, yu mus hab confusies, dewe nu attakie today.”
The mare backed out of the bunker, and voices could be heard.
“Finawwy, sum peace an-” Crimson was cut off again as several fluffies flipped over the amazon box bunker.
“Hi! Scawwet am in chawge ob the odah awmy, an yu am undah attackie!” A blue earth fluffy informed the former bunker residents.
“Nu, nu attakie today” Crimson said again, “Cwimson nu faww fow dis ‘gain. Now yu nee go ‘way.”
“Bu Scawwet am in chawge an Scawwet say attakies now”
“Nu, yu jus in chawge ob da fwuffies obah dewe” Crimson said pointing to the opposing trench. “Cwimson am in chawge ob da fwuffies obah hewe, su since Scawwet am obah hewe, Cwimson am in chawge ob Scawwet.”
“Den wha Cwimson wan Scawwet du?”
“Gu backies to yu twenchie an onwy gib attakies when yu ‘posed tu.”
With that Scarlet and his fluffies went back to their trench and took a nap.