“So that Timeline was what?”
“Timeline 2112.”
“Ah.”
“Yeah. That place sucked, but it’s healing now.”
“Well, that’s good. Almost makes getting covered in fluffy blood and guts worth it.”
“… Do you ever think that what we’re doing doesn’t matter?”
“What do you mean?”
“The multiverse is theoretically infinite. If it’s theoretically infinite, then that would mean that it would take us an infinite amount of time to make every universe happy.”
“I don’t think we can make every universe happy, doc. I think we just need to settle for making some happy.”
“…Maybe…”
Hello Reader. This is Jackson Albert Clockson, of Timeline 999999. Currently, Cal and I are sitting in the Inn between Worlds.
“Do you ever feel like no one seems to notice we’re here? Like all these people from different universes are here and we always just sit in the corner and no one talks to us.”
“Cal, you’re free to go mingle with people you know. We have plenty of time to talk whenever we go through the corridor.”
“Fair enough. I’m gonna go talk to that guy with the bat suit on.”
I raise my glass to him. I’m sure you’ll be able to see who he talks to eventually, readers. The writer probably can’t think of anyone to put in a cameo.
Besides, this gives me time to think. I close my eyes.
My mission to eliminate the concept of evil is a fools errand. Like Sisyphus, there is no way of getting that boulder to the top and making it stay there. Not without fundamentally altering the human psyche in all realities.
I have thought about this before. If a human has no concept of evil actions, no ability to even think of committing an act of evil, do they still have free will? What’s the point of humans doing good if they’re forced into it?
But would they really be forced into it? If someone has no knowledge of a concept, no way of ever knowing of the idea of evil, are they really forced into it? It would be like trying to think of something that no human knows, has ever known, or will know.
Perhaps I’m looking at this wrong. Maybe instead of eliminating all evil… Maybe I just have to guide reality to heaven.
Yes. Yes, I will learn from my mistakes, as well as my successes. I can help reality reach the path of maximum happiness. We witnessed that in King Jack’s timeline. It’s like nothing ever happened.
But will I be able to do this? What if I stray from my path? What if I lose sight of my goal?
“Is it okay if I sit here?”
My eyes open, and I look up. Standing next to Cal’s chair is a young man, maybe 22 or 23 years old, incredibly long green hair, a black and grey baseball cap on his head, and a white jacket shirt thing. He spoke incredibly quickly.
“Of course.”
The guy sits down, taking a drink of a lemonade.
“What is your name?”
“My name is Jackson. Jackson Albert Clockson.”
“Ah. Forgive me if I am wrong, Jackson, but you appear troubled.”
“Yes, you could say that. I’m just thinking.”
“Thinking? About what?”
“Have you ever had a dream, one that you wanted to make come true more than anything in the world?”
The man nods.
“Not too long ago, in fact.”
“Have you ever been unsure of your dream, or whether you’ll have the conviction to stick to your path?”
“My friend, I have experienced that exact thing. I traveled my world with a goal, to shape it into the ideal world that I had dreamed of. I went into it believing that the world cannot be grey, that it must be black and white, thoroughly divided, and that I must work to bring about that world of ideals.”
The man chuckles slightly.
“During my travels I met someone much like myself. Meeting him, well, it was enlightening. I learned that perhaps my formula was wrong, that I had gotten the world wrong. Perhaps the world cannot be separated into truths and ideals, and it’s a mixture of the two that creates the world that we see.”
“Two sides to every coin, can’t have light without dark.”
“It goes beyond that, my friend. It’s not by rejecting different ideas, but by accepting different ideas that the world creates a chemical reaction. This is truly the formula for changing the world."
“Thank you. I really needed to hear this right now.”
“You said you have a dream… That dream… Make it come true! Make your wonderful dream a reality, and it will become your truth! Jackson! If anyone can, it’s you! Well, then… Farewell!”
The mysterious guy takes a final sip of his drink and leaves.
For some reason, I feel like I’ll see him again.
“So how was your socialization, Cal?”
“It was pretty good, talked to a guy in a cowl who’s kinda like me, and a dude with long hair and his short fat quiet friend about weed.”
“Sounds nice.”
“What about you, have any interesting conversations?”
“I had a very enlightening conversation.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“I like to believe it is.”
I down the rest of my drink.
“I think it’s time we take our leave, Cal. There are universes that need heroes, and we happen to be pretty good at that, I think.”
“Sounds like a plan, doc.”
I look down at my sword. I don’t really use it that often. I’m sure someone might come through who can put it to good use. Goodbye my friend.
I don’t know why I’ve been woven into time. I don’t know how it happened, I don’t know if some higher power decided that this was what should happen, but I might as well try to make the most of it.
I’ve always wanted to be important. To be appreciated. Not loved, I had a good relationship with my family. I guess I wanted to have friends. Maybe I thought that, if I was able to help humanity reach Heaven, they would want to be my friend.
I’m unsure.
“So, where to next, doc?”
“Unsure. I heard tell of a variant of myself who killed versions of me and allied with that crazy version of you.”
“Are we gonna pay him a visit?”
“As much as I would like to, no. He’s in OMA custody, and I trust them to carry out justice.”
“Ah. Hey, how about this timeline? It looks pretty interesting.”
Two men stand in a cave with a waterfall, lowering a third man down the waterfall to a glowing light.
One of them, a bald man who looks to be about 60, speaks up.
“This remind you of anything, Jack?”
This isn’t our Jack that he’s speaking to, but a man with short hair, an average appearance, slightly muscular from living on an island away from civilization for a while.
“What?”
“Desmond…going down into a hole in the ground. If there was a button down there to push, we could fight about whether or not to push it. It’d be just like old times.”
‘Jack’ gets upset at this.
“You’re not John Locke. You disrespect his memory by wearing his face, but you’re nothing like him. Turns out he was right about most everything. I just wish I could’ve told him that while he was still alive.”
“He wasn’t right about anything, Jack. And when this island drops into the ocean, and you drop with it, you’re finally gonna realize that.”
Around this time, our Jack and Cal enter the cave through the infinite corridor. Jack hits his head on the cave ceiling.
“Gah, goddammit! This cave looked a lot bigger through the portal! Shit!”
The two men turn to look at our heroes. Cal slowly raises his hand to wave.
“Uh, hi.”
The two men just stare.
“My head hurts like a bitch now. Fuck this place, we’re getting the fuck out of here.”
“Man, I’ve never heard you swear this much Jack.”
“What?”
“No not you, him.”
“Oh.”
The old man just shakes his head.
“I can’t wait to finally get off this island.”
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Okay, so that island was a bust, what’s next?”
“I don’t know, but I’m only opening portals into places that are open to the sky. My apologies for swearing.”
“It’s not the first time you’ve sworn, doc. Just the first time in a while.”
“Either way, I’m just glad it was only a bump. Which again, is why I’m only opening portals outdoors now. Unless of course it’s an emergency. As far as where we go next, how about this one? Verdant field, rolling hills, nice forest, etcetera.”
“Sounds good to me, let’s go.”
We step into yet another Earth facing a problem.
“HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!”
Cal points to the sky, and I see why he’s freaking out.
There’s a monstrous blob of flesh crawling across the countryside. Some X-Positive, possibly an omega class, is flying around it, blasting it with electricity. Other X positives fly around it, either using jets of fire or jetpacks.
“DON’T LET IT GET VICTOR!”
“Holy shit I think I’m over there. See, there I am with a sword and a jetpack.”
I point myself out to Cal.
“Where am I then?”
“I think you might be in the blob. I can kinda make out your face at times.”
“Good fucking lord. Jesus I can see a Marley too. And even a Faucheuse? What the fuck is that?”
As Cal and I are watching this, a woman with shiny black hair, glasses, and a white labcoat runs towards us.
“I thought we evacuated all civilians, what are you still doing here?”
“Can you tell us what’s going on, ma’am? We have only just arrived, and are out of the loop.”
“Just arrived? What do you mean jus- Nevermind! There isn’t time to explain, you have to get out of here!”
The battle stops, leaves float in the air on their way to the ground, a bird flying overhead hovers in the sky.
“Trust me when I say that I can make time.”
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The woman looks around.
“What is happening, are you doing this?”
“He’s got time powers, it’s a long story.”
“Jack? You’re supposed to be down there, making sure no one can get absorbed! And what’s with this getup?”
“I apologize for the confusion, but I’m not exactly who you think I am. While I am Jackson Albert Clockson, I am not native to this world.”
The woman looks around.
“Yeah, our Jack wouldn’t be able to do this. If you aren’t from ‘this world’, then where ARE you from?”
“Wait, so you guys are from a different timeline? We knew about time travel, but we didn’t think it could be done so easily.”
“Neither did we.”
“So, how do your powers work? How do you go from timeline to timeline? How did you get your powers?”
“I apologize, but that information is not relevant to the disgusting monstrosity currently threatening your timeline. Not that we don’t have time for it, just that I would rather help take care of that and be done with it.”
Plus most of that would just be repeating information that has already been explained in a previous part.
“Fair enough. Maybe some other time.”
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but can you please explain what the fuck that thing is?”
Cal points to the fleshy mass and gags.
“Oh my god I can see like a hundred fluffies in it.”
“Oh, that. We didn’t have time to come up with a name for it. It’s some sort of parasite, I think. Honestly I’m not entirely sure. All we know is it was tiny at first, then it latched onto Wally and absorbed him. Then we found out it could use the powers of its victims, and use them well.”
The woman shakes her head.
“Speedy bastard absorbed Cal before we could even tell what was happening. After that it was just a blitz, absorbing one X-Positive after another, getting bigger and bigger.”
She shudders.
“Then it got to Blueberry’s herd. Which just served to give it more sustenance. It’s smart. It didn’t go after civilians, or random animals. I think the only reason it went to Blueberry’s herd was for biomass.”
Cal speaks up.
“Or to get into your heads. That thing knows most of you have an attachment to fluffies, so it’s trying to get in your heads. Or a member of that herd was X positive and didn’t know it. Maybe this thing is seeking out X-Positives?”
“Your voice sounds familiar. Can you remove your helmet?”
Cal turns his helmet transparent.
“Sorry, last time I took this off Doc had to rewind time.”
“I thought I recognized you. Why didn’t you tell me you were traveling with a Cal?”
“It honestly slipped my mind. I just assume everyone knows Cal.”
“That’s beside the point. What do we do about this thing? Can’t you just point at it and do that thing you did, Jack?”
“I don’t think I can. Not without doing the same to everyone else it’s absorbed.”
“Have you guys been able to, urgh, get inside it?”
“We haven’t attempted. We don’t want to let anyone with any kind of powers touch the thing. Alpha tried going in and it just launched him a mile away. He’s gonna need repairs.”
“Ugh. This hurts to say, but I can go in. My nanobots can protect me, I don’t have powers to absorb, and given what you’ve told me, it can’t absorb technology.”
“It could work. You could scout inside and see what’s up. The rest of us can distract it.”
“You should help them distract it too, Doc. God knows your powers will be helpful with that.”
“Got it. Let’s get down there before time begins to move again.”
“Oh, you two will want one of these.”
She hands us both a headset.
“To keep in touch during the battle. And here, Jack. You’ll want this for mobility.”
“I’ve always wanted a jetpack.”
She points to a place at the base of the mass.
“There’s an opening there. It might be narrow, so don’t be afraid to open it up a little. If you need to abort the mission-”
“If you need to abort the mission, let me know and I’ll revert. Sorry, I didn’t want to have a ‘tug on the rope twice’ situation.”
The woman looks slightly offended.
“I wasn’t gonna recommend something as dumb and cliche as that.”
A british guy who looks kind of like that one actor from those movies with the wizards speaks.
“New plan! Distract this thing! Keep it from going after our friend in the armor!”
A guy who looks kind of like if Calvin had a kid nods at the guy, and he nods back.
They look pretty badass, standing back to back. One blasting the fleshy mass with flame, the other blasting it with lightning.
I see myself. Might as well say hello.
“Hey, you’re Jack right?”
Creepy fleshy tendril comes near him and he slows time to cut it off.
“Kinda busy at the moment but yes.”
“How are things here? I want to know what sort of things I’m missing out on. Oh, watch out for that fireblast.”
He slows down time and dodges out of the way of a golden fireball.
“Thanks. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but things here are a little hectic at the moment. Tendril thing, 10 o’clock.”
I stop time, grab the other-Jack’s sword, and slice the thing into a million pieces. Sword back in his hand, and time resumes. Maybe I should have kept my sword around for a bit longer. Maybe I’ll ask Cal if he can use his nanobots to make me a sword.
“Jeez, you turned that thing into mince meat!”
“Yes, your sword is impeccable.”
“What do you mean, did you use my swor-oooooohhhhh you stopped time! Why couldn’t I tell?”
“Our powers are similar in a lot of ways, but work in fundamentally different ways as well. Probably comes with the territory of us both being Jack.”
“Ah, sweet.”
“You don’t seem as surprised as I would have expected.”
Another flesh rope sliced off.
“I’ve had a few run ins with alternate versions of myself.”
“Ah.”
I think we should check in on Cal for now. I’ll let him narrate.
“Gross gross gross gross gross.”
Do you know what a fatberg is, reader? If you’re eating, I think it would be best if you come back to this later.
…Still here? Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
A fatberg, reader, is a congealed mass of wet wipes, diapers, tampons, anything you flush down the toilet that you aren’t supposed to flush, combining with fats, oil, and grease deposits. They form in the sewer, so they probably have shit in them too. Some of the ones in my universe end up picking up fuffies as well.
This is worse, I’d say.
I can’t smell anything, thank you nanobots, but it’s just fucking NASTY. It’s pulsating in here, and occasionally arms or legs will form inside this tunnel I’m going through. Pretty sure I’ve seen faces.
“Yeah, you’ve seen faces!”
What the fuck was that.
“I can see you. I can see you inside us.”
The face of a fluffy peeks through the flesh
“Hewwo mistah, why don’t yu take awf dat suit an’ get cozy?”
“We aren’t acquainted with the ‘fluffspeak’. It’s rather difficult for us to speak that way.”
Good fucking god.
“Alright, Valerie was it? I’m in. You wanted me to head to the center, right?”
“Yes, there should be a, for lack of a better term, cavern in the center of the mass. We don’t know for sure, but we think something of interest is in the center.”
“Got it. I’ll update you if I see anything of interest.”
“Godspeed, Black Star.”
“Heh, how’d you know my codename?”
“It just seemed fitting. What with the black suit, and the star insignia.”
“Fair.”
“Who are you talking to, Cal?”
“You would make a nice addition to our biomass, Cal. We already have one Cal. But that suit. It’s in the way.”
“Trust us, Cal, it’s a nonstop party here!”
“You can’t ignore us forever, you know. Especially as you get close to our heart.”
Just gotta make it to the center.
My experience is probably significantly less interesting than Cal’s experience currently. I’m not primarily a fighter, and I can’t just age this thing into nothing without the risk of hurting the people it’s absorbed. I’m mostly just support, stopping time to move people out of the way of danger.
I’ve always wanted to be a superhero. Like the ones in comics. Having solo adventures, but working with a team and being friends with them. Glad to know that multiple versions of myself are in super hero teams.
Though it was an inopportune time for me to be unable to use my fists to fight, considering I just left my sword behind. Oh well.
That one british guy is flying around, cloaked in electricity. The guy who looks like a younger Cal is flying next to him, cloaked in fire.
Sometimes I wish I had a super form. With a cool battle aura. I’ve heard about that one Cal who can do golden flames, and has a crazy looking aura, and can do all sorts of stuff.
I guess I’m fine with being able to travel through time and between universes at will. Maybe I’ll just get a cool halo shaped like a gear or something.
“Hey, Cal, you miss your fluffy Marley, right? He’s in here. He might not be the one you remember, but it’s Marley all the same! His dad is in here too, but I’m sure he wouldn’t have a problem sharing! Here, I’ll let you see him.”
This thing must have some sort of psionic abilities. Either that or I’m dying and this is my hell. Either one seems plausible.
Marley’s face and front legs poke out of the flesh wall.
“Hewwo, daddeh! Am Mawwey! Wemembew Mawwey?”
I shake my head.
“Fuck you, blob.”
The Marley looks hurt.
“Huu huu huu, meanie daddeh! Daddeh say meanie wowds! Am dat why daddeh wet Mawwey go fowebah sweepies?”
Don’t let it get to you, Cal, there will be time for venting your frustrations when this is over.
“Ooo, dat huwt daddeh, huh? Awmost huwt as much as Mawwey gettin’ his weggies bwoken off by dat meanie!”
Ignore it. The Marley sinks back into the mass.
Out comes what looks like a version of myself.
“Damn, is that right? You let your Marley die?”
“Stop talking.”
“That’s pretty sad. I’d never let MY Marley die. Then again I guess you aren’t like us, huh? Can’t think of very many Cal’s in the multiverse who need nanobots or a powersuit to be useful. You would be quite the odd one out in the OMA.”
“I know this is the blob talking.”
“Do you now? Do you really know for sure?”
I say nothing.
“Did you even get the bastard that killed Marley? Or was that just something you told Jack? So that he wouldn’t see you were weak?”
“Shut up! Stop!”
“You found him, but you hesitated when you could have taken care of him! What’s this? You let him get away? And THEN he got hit by a car?! That’s rich!”
I clutch my head. Their mouth is moving, but it’s like they’re speaking directly into my brain.
“That’s why you destroyed those two guys in the shelter way back when! To make up for your mistake!”
Cal shifts back into the blob, and a guy who looks like Pierre’s brother (you can never remember his name. Dustin? Desmond?) shifts in.
“Why not ask Jack to take you back to your world? You can have Jack rewind time, and you could fix your mistake!”
“That wouldn’t fix anything. All I can do is learn from that mistake. Do everything I can to make sure that innocent people aren’t hurt. And that means doing everything I can to stop you.”
The blob shifts from Donald (Dameon?) to Pierre.
“While we’re on the subject of your world, how do you think KorkeaCorp is doing? Do you think My counterpart has swooped in, bought your company? Do people even remember you exist?”
I shake my head and smile, one of those wily smiles that Cals like to do. They usually don’t use the word wily, but I can’t remember the usual word right now on account of being inside a blob thing.
“You were on a roll. I was really close to punching the inside of this thing, which is what you wanted so you could engulf me or something, or distract me long enough to do some harebrained scheme… But you got something wrong. I don’t care if people remember me. I can take my company back from that dickhead in my universe if I have to. I don’t care if they think I’m strong or not. I don’t need to be a member of the OMA. All I want to do is make sure scum like you don’t get their way in the multiverse.”
I look up, with renewed determination.
“Your days are numbered.”
The blob Pierre is clearly shocked by all of this.
“W-wait! Wait shit, uh, c-congratulations Cal! You passed the test! We were just kidding with the whole ‘you’re weak’ thing!”
I press on.
“You don’t have to do this, man! You can become a part of something bigger! W-we’ll even let you be the main personality! All the power you could ever want or need! You could bring justice anywhere and everywhere! Think about it!”
“You’re not gonna die at the end of this. You won’t even wish you died. I don’t think you’ll do anything again.”
“What? What do you mean?”
I keep going. Almost at the core.
“What do you mean, Cal, answer us! CAL!”
I have some regrets in life. Being too shy, bad investments, accidentally destroying a timeline.
I think leaving my sword behind at the Inn between Worlds as a sort of ‘My story is changing, I’m gonna do better’ type thing is at the top of that list. I could really, and I mean REALLY, use that sword right about now. I’ll have to check back at the inn to see if it’s still there. If not, maybe we can ask CQK-1989 if he knows anyone who can make me some cool gauntlets or something.
Or who knows, maybe I’ll learn how to make a sword out of pure chronal energy. That would be cool, right?
I still have the revolver, but I don’t have any ammo for it outside of the 7 bullets loaded into it. Plus I’m not sure how much good a gun would do against this thing.
I should mention that as I’m having this monologue we are still fighting the blob monster. A woman named Judy is casting spells, freezing tendrils and then shattering them. A guy covered in rock is throwing boulders at it, and a white fluffy is shooting icicles at it too.
I’ve been stopping time here and there to make sure people don’t get got by the tendrils. And no, reader, nothing sexual would have happened. This isn’t that kind of story.
Granted, I don’t think the alternative is much better.
Look, long story short, while I’m doing this internal monologue I’m also flying around with my jetpack, stopping time to help people get out of the way. Occasionally taking the sword from my other self and slicing a tendril into cubes.
I’ve heard tell of a thing called Mindless Mind, but I don’t think that’s what this is. I think this is more just like, I dunno.
Being cool?
“Look, Cal, we all said things we regret. But that’s no reason to ruin the good thing we have going on! And haven’t you always wanted to be a part of something greater than yourself?”
“Really? You’re using the cult line?”
“That’s not a cult line!”
“It’s a cult line, dude. Even if it wasn’t, I’m already part of something greater. Going on adventures through the multiverse with a doctor woven into time itself is kick-ass.”
“We can slim down! We don’t need to be this big all the time! Cal, please. We don’t want to go back to how we were.”
“Is that the parasite talking, or is that the people you absorbed?”
“‘Parasite?’ Look, there’s no need to throw the P word around. Are humans any different in the way they use the earth? All take and no give!”
“You really are desperate if you’re reaching for the ‘humans are the REAL monsters’ argument.”
The blob stops talking for a second, then out comes Marley.
“Daddeh, nu huwt bwobbie fwiend! Bwobbie fwiend am gud!”
“See, even your good friend Marley says we’re good! You would trust Marley right? Goddammit who are we kidding, you aren’t gonna get manipulated by this. Alright. We’ve exhausted all avenues for getting you to become a part of our collective alive.”
“Wait, alive?”
Right as I say that, a tendril shaped into a fist punches me in the side of the head.
“Ow! Goddammit!”
“You did this to yourself, Cal. You can’t blame us.”
“If you have the powers of everyone inside you, why don’t you use them?”
“Yeah, you’d like that wouldn’t you? We use our golden flames and then burn ourselves alive from the inside. Fat chance!”
Another punch, but this time I’m ready for it. I grab the slimy bastard.
“Hey, let go!”
I give him one of those Cal smirks. The audacious ones. I remembered the word right as he punched me in the head.
“You made fun of my nanobots earlier, remember? Wanna see something interesting they can do?”
“What are you doing, what is that?”
“Just one nanobot can destroy this thing in a matter of seconds.”
True to my word, the single nanobot becomes two, then 4, then 8, 16, 32, 64, until the entire tendril looks like a mass of black.
“And there we go.”
The nanobots come back to me, and the tendril is gone.
“Fuck you, Cal! That was our favorite tendril!”
I keep walking, dodging tendril punches along the way, until I come to what I can only assume to be the inner chamber.
“Holy shit…”
The blob has begun to get desperate, I feel. It’s attacking faster, and stronger.
It occurs to me that none of its attacks until now have been with lethal force. Up until this point, it has only been attacking to incapacitate. Now, however, it’s going for lethal attacks.
My microphone thing crackles to life.
“I’m in the inner chamber guys.”
Val responds.
“Good, very good! Is there anything in there that might help us?”
“Uhhhhh… Y-yeah, yeah I think so.”
I speak up.
“What is it? You sound concerned.”
“Well, uh, there’s a bunch of people in here. Fluffies too.”
“What?”
This is fuckin weird. All the people absorbed by this thing are in here, tendrils hooked into their bodies at different places. They’re all… twitching.
“Yeah, everyone’s here. What do you think I should do, Val? Jack?”
“It’s too dangerous for you to just rip them down… We don’t have time to make a way in for a professional surgeon to cut them out. Even if we did, I don’t think the blob would just let us do that.”
Jack speaks up.
“Cal, your nanomachines. They’re incredibly precise, and can eat away at matter with no difficulty whatsoever. It wouldn’t be out of the question to use them to surgically remove them from the collective.”
Val now.
“That could definitely work. Cal, do you think you’re up to this?”
“If I mess something up, I’ll let you know and Jack can roll it back.”
“Alright. Good luck, Cal. We’ll keep comms open just in case you need to ask a question, or if that blobby bastard starts talking.”
“Yeah, good luck. Here’s hoping he just leaves you to your work.”
“Thanks guys.”
Well, I guess I’d better get to work. Should probably free this version of myself first.
“Why would you wanna free him first? Why not your old pal Marley? Or Wally? Or maybe even-”
“Good God do you ever shut up?”
I walk closer to the Cal of this universe.
“This is fucking disgusting by the way.”
“Hey, fuck you, we’re doing what we can to survive.”
“So were they.”
“You know, Cal, this isn’t the first world we’ve visited. There are a lot of planets in the infinite cosmos, but only around a hundred or two hundred have life on them.”
“That’s really interesting, Carl Sagan, but I’m prepping for surgery.”
I use my visor to magnify my vision, zooming in on the place where gross flesh tendril touches the forehead of other me.
“There are so many more that are empty. We do what we must to survive.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“We shall tell you later. You have surgery to perform, don’t you?”
Weird. They’re right though. I need to take care of this. I release a small clump of nanobots on the location of, ugh, contact. Thank god these things aren’t burrowing in and are just like, taking them over through contact.
“Controlling them through contact requires less energy and reduces risk of complications. They aren’t much use in our collective dead.”
I forgot this thing is reading my thoughts.
After a minute of nanobot surgery on the alternate version of myself, he’s free from the control of the blob.
“Urngh, what happened?”
“Welcome back. You, uh, might want to leave the blob and go see if anyone needs help.”
“Okay. Wait, do I know you from somewhere?”
“Go ask Val, or Jack, or Jack, they can explain better than I can. Plus I have surgery to perform.”
“Oh, alright then. Thanks for the assist by the way.”
“Don’t leave! We were having fun Cal!”
As that british guy (his name is Miles, it turns out) is blasting the thing with lightning, the guy who looks like Cal (his son from the future? I dunno, time travel shenanigans) blasts it with fire, and the witch lady (Judy, Cal’s wife in this continuity) is blasting the thing with freezing air. Pretty cool attack. Ultimately, only results in a few messed up tendrils and a surface level damage to the main mass.
After that attack, the blob seems to be moving much more sluggishly, firing less energy blasts, and the ones that it does shoot are weaker.
Cal comes out of the thing, but it’s not the Cal I’m used to.
“Jesus christ, this thing got huge!”
“We could use your help, mate!”
“On it.”
He flies up, blasting the thing with golden flames. He turns to me.
“Hey Jack. You look different.”
“It’s a long story, but the Jack that you’re used to is over there.”
“Another one free. Hello Marley.”
“Ugh… Daddeh?”
“Er, not quite. Your Cal is outside. He could probably use your help with this.”
“Otay. Tank yu nice mistah!”
“Heh, don’t mention it.”
“Was it nice seeing Marley again, Cal? Don’t forget, you have us to thank for that interaction.”
“Thanks. Asshole.”
Someone else is coming out of the blob. Looks like it’s the Marley of this universe.
“Daddeh!”
He flies up to the Cal that just came out, and they hug. It would be a sweet moment if they didn’t have blob juice on them.
More people come out, and as they do, the blob seemingly gets weaker.
I’ll have to let Cal know that he should drop the multidimensional adventures and become a neurosurgeon.
“Welp, that’s the last of em.”
“Well done, Cal. But this isn’t the end of us. I suggest you leave our biomass, before you’re crushed.”
“Crushed?”
Oh shit, it’s shrinking. Alright Cal, stay calm. You’ve been in worse situations. And it was a straight line here, so that’s not too bad.
“We can’t promise that the way out will be as, heh, straightforward as you remember it.”
God fucking dammit.
“Val, Jack, I’m coming out now, if I’m not out within-”
“You’ve already used up all your outgoing calls, Cal. You’re on your own.”
“Val? Jack? Fuck! Blocking the signal, dammit. Why didn’t you do that earlier?”
“There’s a lot we can do that we haven’t let you know about. It would be foolish of us to reveal all of our cards at once.”
“Ugh, fair.”
Well, looks like I’m going through a flesh labyrinth now. Just gotta pick a gross, slimy wall and stick to it.
“Cal? Cal are you there? Dammit!”
“What should we do now, Val?”
“You heard that thing, Jack. It’s gonna start shrinking.”
“I don’t believe we can just cut our way through it either.”
“What? Why?”
“We don’t know what this thing is capable of. It’s my belief that the only reason it’s shrinking slowly is to toy with Cal.”
“That’s all the more reason for us to go in there and get him.”
“If it can control the speed that it shrinks at, then it could very well just crush him in an instant if it wanted to.”
“Damn, you’re right. And we can’t send anyone in there, unless we want to risk them getting reabsorbed. And there’s absolutely no way we’re sending you in there. If it got a hold of you, there’s no telling what might happen.”
“It seems that it has us right where it wants us. We can’t do anything more than wait for Cal to come out and hope for the best.”
Just gotta follow this wall.
“And don’t think about trying to dig your way out using those nanobots of yours.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“Good.”
Just gotta keep going. Dammit, these passages are getting thinner. Turn, turn, turn, just gotta follow the wall.
“Getting too close for comfort? We apologize, but we’re only going to get smaller as time goes on. We estimate that you have about 2 minutes to find the exit. Good luck.”
Better start running then.
… There’s the exit.
“Uh oh, you’re almost there, but we’re closing! Come on, Cal, you can do it!”
Fuck the blob, ignore it, gotta keep going.
“Ooo and we’re closing in behind you too!”
I’m not wasting time looking back. Must go faster. Must go faster.
We’re still waiting on Cal to come out. It’s pretty tense. Especially with the exit closing. It’s almost completely sealed.
“This is more tense than childbirth.”
“That’s weird, Miles.”
“It’s only weird cause it’s true, mate.”
“He’s almost there…”
“So’s the opening…”
CARTOON SPLAT NOISE (i wanted to do SPLORT but thats too gross)
Cal comes bursting out of the thing fist first, getting covered in blob.
“Is this just gonna happen everytime I go to a different timeline? I’m gonna get covered in mush and gross?”
The group there erupts into a chorus of cheers, Cal’s alternate self giving him a pat on the back, then realizing he has blob juice on his hands now.
“Good job, my friend. I had no doubt in my mind that you would make it out.”
“Thanks, Jack.”
“Aren’t you all forgetting something?”
During our little celebration, it appears that the blob has shrunken down to the size of a fluffy. It’s kind of cute like this, in a weird way.
“Perhaps we should take a form you would be more comfortable talking to.”
The blob shifts, and now it’s shaped like a floating head. Kind of looks like that one late night talk show host. You know the one.
“Jackson Albert Clockson. Not the one native to this reality, but the Jackson that has seen many. We speak only to you right now. The others are able to listen and give you their input, but the only person we will be communicating with right now is yourself.”
“And why is that?”
“We feel that you are the one that stands the greatest chance of truly understanding our situation.”
“Why are we even giving this thing the time of day, Jack? Just get rid of it and be done with it.”
“It doesn’t matter who or what it is, everyone deserves a chance to explain their views and reasoning. That’s the only way progress can be made… Alright. Speak.”
We were born of nothing, older than the universe itself. In the primordial chaos of deep space, infinitely small particles interacted and bonded. Over the course of millions of millions of years these particles formed a cell. One single cell.
For reasons unknown even to ourselves, that cell was gifted consciousness. Sapience. A soul.
We drifted for eons, observing the stars. They were the only thing we had ever known. We weren’t bored, but we felt alone. So very alone.
We continued to drift, until we landed on a planet. We happened to land on one of the inhabitants of this planet, a member of a race of voracious eaters. Before we knew it, we had… merged, with them. We gained their hunger. They are still a part of us.
We very much doubt that you wish to hear how our digestive system works, So we shall spare you the details.
Over the course of a month, we managed to merge with every member of this race. Appetite satisfied, and new friends added into our collective, we rested on that now barren planet.
After a short nap of 348 years, we awoke to find ourselves… small. About the size you see us at now. We felt that hunger again.
So, we left. Taking to the stars again. Rather than drift aimlessly, we traveled from star to star, visiting planets, absorbing more creatures, consciousness, into our collective.
Which led us to your planet. We launched that robot out of our biomass because it confused us. Sapience, sentience, a soul, but not living.
We would have absorbed every living thing on this planet had it not been for you, and your friend with the nanobots.
We do not hold it against you. You were simply doing the same thing that we have been doing. Surviving. We can’t help that our continued existence meant the destruction of civilizations.
If you are to kill us, or erase us, or whatever you have planned, then go ahead. We never asked for this existence, and we did our best to make the most of it.
The fluffyblob finishes its speech, and I notice a tear running down Jack’s face.
“I’m sorry.”
He pulls out that revolver he got from King Jack, and it looks like gears are turning above his head. I haven’t seen that happen before.
“You know, Jackson Albert Clockson, you aren’t that different from us. We feel that you too did not ask for the existence you have been given. Unlike us, however, you are trying to use your curse for good.”
“…”
“Thank you, Calvin Korkea, for making our final day in existence a thoroughly entertaining one. We hope we didn’t irritate you too much.
“N-no problem…”
"And Thank you, Jackson Albert Clockson, for freeing us. Good luck on your future journeys.”
BANG.
The bullet goes through the blob, and that thing that happened to King Jack starts happening again. Every time I think that Jack’s powers are starting to make sense, he does something like this. I think he just used the gun as a sort of conduit for his power.
The fluffy blob smiles, as it slowly vanishes in a rising flash of light. Looks like they got the nicer ending than King Jack. I actually feel a little sorry for it.
“It’s a good thing you two showed up when you did, huh? You two have saved the human race, and possibly the entire universe!”
Cal laughs.
“It’s, uh, it’s kind of become a habit.”
While this adventure was certainly interesting, it saddens me a little to know that only Cal and I shall remember it.
“So, where are you two going now?”
“Unsure. We will probably get some rest at the Inn between Worlds. You all may end up forgetting about this adventure, but I hope that you will at least recognize us as potential friends in the future.”
“What? What do you mean, forget?”
I sigh, and shake my head slightly.
“Time is going to course correct any moment now. While I feared at one point that making alterations like that could lead to drastic ripples, I have been able to analyze time itself and witness possible outcomes. The one where that creature never came into existence is very similar to most, but more planets will be a part of Intergalactic Society, but for the most part they’ll be good. The ones that aren’t… Well, I have a feeling that your Cal there will be able to handle it, especially with the help of his friends.”
“So… So we won’t remember you guys?”
“I do not believe you will. I’m sorry.”
“Well, if we ever see you again, maybe you can fill us in?”
Cal laughs, and I smile.
“Gladly! I don’t want anyone forgetting that I’m the best blob surgeon of all time.”
“Until then, my friends, we must move on.”
I tear open a gate to the infinite corridor. Cal and I step into the gate, wave goodbye, and move on to our next adventure.
