September 9th.
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I let Lav out of the box in the morning. Of course, he managed to shit all over the box. As, i dunno, retaliation, i guess? Well, that only served to cover him in shit and piss, therefore making him smelly and dirty. The others thought he was a real poopie foal from the back! Heres a pic of him. Hes so stupid!
“GASP! poopie! Nu wan poopie! Nu wan!” Millie yelled. “No, no,” i said. “Its still Lav. He just pooped all over himself. See?” I turn him around. The fluffies gasp and Millie sniffs him. “Fwuffy smew wike Wab, buh… Buh nu smeww pwetty!” She backs off. “I know. I need to give him a bath.” Millie looks away. “Ib mummah hewe, wou gib wicky cweanies…” Millie whispers.
“Miwwie, nu wowie! Fwuffies hab daddeh hewp!” Citrus, who hasnt caused any trouble this past week, decided to help, reminding Millie i was still here to help. I guess it took the little guy to get used to me, because he started off quieter, only getting more comfortable over time. “Fwuffy dancie! Wookie!” He then… dances? For her. It looked more like a fat baby bouncing up and down though. You know that one stereotypical baby dance, that every baby seems to do? Thats what he’s doing. Captured it.
Anyway, Citrus is dancing for millie. I guess thats his thing? He cheers everyone up? Come to think of it, i may have seen him nuzzle into his siblings on a few occasions when they looked upset. I find his silly attempts at dance irritating for some reason. Why did he look like… that? Whatever, i guess.
Millie starts laughing and “dancing” with him. I couldnt help but wonder, why the fuck do i want to football kick you so bad right now? Whatever the reason, i just topped their food off and left with Lav.
I brought Lavi to the sink. I decided to have fun. I had a fairly deep sink in my kitchen, so no way hed crawl out. I toss him in and plug the drain. Without testing it, i turn on the water. “NUU! TOO COWLD! TOO COWLD!” a pause… “BUWNIE HUWTIES! BUWNIEEE HUWWTTIEESSSS! HEWP, HEWP!” The water got hot. I plug the sink and let it fill. Lav keeps screaming at the hot water. “BAD WAWA! BAD WAWA!” I pour my lavender scented dishsoap in. Convenient. Lavender fluffy, lavender soap. I scrub him roughly. I didnt care if i hurt him. I shove him under the water. He flails, panicking. I hold him under and pull him up last second to dry him off.
September 15th.
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Sorry it took me a few days to get back to this. I had issues. Ill get in to it soon, i promise.
You guys suggested a couple things. First, that they looked close to being grown! Which means, you guessed it, i can make them leave! Or so i thought.
I saw people say they may not truly want to leave since they got attached to me. Which, normally id hate, but… now? Fuck, man. I want to kill them, now. May as well keep em.
Next point. When people said its not too uncommon to see fluffies hurt worse than, like, making them eat their own shit? Not exaggerating. Not one bit. Apperently many people let their intrusive thoughts out full force on them. And, im sorry to my friends and family, i may be one of those people now. I think that, at least, im becoming like them.
Over the last while, Moss has been going back on hee caretaker roll. I could tell shes getting tired. He wasnt built for it. Daisy keeps peeping and chirping more often. Moss has slowly but surely yelling back. On the 11th, i heard Moss scream. “SHUH UP! SHUH UP, DAISEE! DAISY GET WICKY CWEENIES! DAISEE GET NUMMIES! WHAT MOWE DAISEE WAN?” I come in the room.
“Moss, what is going on with you?” He looks up at me, big, angry tears filling her bigger, angrier eyes. “Daisee wan nummies! Daisee wan wickie cweanie, wan make good poopies! Daisee wan wan wan!” Meanwhile, Daisy keeps peeping and smacking her hooves on the floor. Except for the one she shoved in her mouth to suck on after Moss yelled at her. “Moss wan babbeh, buh- buh fwuff nu wike!” She slumps down on her rear, tears spilling over. I actually felt bad. Just in general, and for when i punished her before. Daisy, as much as she was loved, was a nuisance to her siblings. Especially Moss.
“Daisee speciw…” She looks up at me. “Buh… sensitibe too muh…” she looked like she was begging for help. Telling me she cant handle it, but had no clue how to ask or communicate it well. “Fwuffy miss sweepies… fwuffy wan pway durin’ bwite time.” Right, I guess their mother wouldve been the primary caretaker before. The foals wouldve had free time. The other foals watch the conversation. Then… suddenly…
“CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP–” Daisy crawled to Moss, ass chenching and unclenching. I took that as poop time. Suddenly, before i could help, PFFTTTTT– “PIIIIIIIIIIII!” PLAP PLAP PLAP-
Daisy shat all over the place. Explosive, too. The other fluffies looked over finally, talking about how gross it was, and how “Daisee nu smew pwetty.” Daisy wiggled around, sobbing, and almost choking on her hoof. The other legs were still smacking the floor in her discomfort.
“DAS IT, GET SOWWY HOOFIE!” Moss punched Daisy as hard as She could. Daisy paused before crying louder… and shitting more. "CHEEEEEEEEPP! PIII PI PI PIHIHIII- ppfftt- blpppfft- PI PI PI PIIII!" Moss plopped back down, looking exhausted and defeated. She looked so done. So angry. For a second, i just stood there, stunned. So did the other ponies. Her siblings stare in disbelief. Moss hit her sister. Words cant describe the anger and exhaustion in Moss’s eyes. Look for yourself.
I picked moss up gently and brought her outside the room. We were both pissed off, obviously. I mean, this piss colored fuck shat all over my wood floor. I took time to sit on the couch and gently pet Moss so i could calm down.
Ive always had anger issues, but ive been working on it. I, of course, was justified here- it isnt fun having a creatures ass explode all over your wood floors. But i knew i couldnt go too crazy. My progress in anger management felt decent at this point.
Somehow, i felt i could understand this creature. Abandoned by dad, mom found dead, forced to care for things it didnt necessarily want to, but did out of love. I never mentioned this, but the same stuff happened to me. I took care of my brother for all his life, because both my parents left. Both different versions of the same story. I just… held Moss for a moment. She cried into my shirt. And i let it happen. If i did take out what annoyance i had, it wasn’t going to be moss this time.
“Youre a good girl, Moss.” She looks at me. “Pwomise? Am good babbeh?” I nod and promised her. A pause. I realized i could have fun with her. Im not proud of it, but… i somehow felt justified i suppose? Its all so stupid. I know it is. But i needed the peeping to stop. Dispite how well i was managing my anger, it was still there. The constant crying, peeping, and messes, if they kept happening like this… it needed to end. I wanted to have family over soon, to catch up, you know? Cant have ponies making noise and shitting everywhere. I had somewhat of a plan…
“Its hard, huh?” Moss tilts her head. “Loving someone, but hating them for what theyve done to your well being?” Moss thinks for a second. “… fwuffy am tiwed…”
“How about i get rid of her?” I askee. Moss looks at me, mouth wide. She closes it, opens it, and closes it again. As if she wanted to say no, but her exhaustion was getting the better of her. “Youll never have to see her again. Youll never have to deal with her peeping. You dont have to feed her, clean her, or bring het to the litter.” I say. “Not everyone is made to be a caretaker, Moss. Even if they think they can do it, maybe theyre wrong. And thats okay. Let me help you. Youre exhausted, arent you?”
Moss took a moment to think. “… Fwuffy wub sistah. Buh fwuffy tiwed. An fwuffy wan pway time…” she whines a little. She eventually agrees to let me remove her from your life. “Whewe sistah gu?” She asks. “Ill bring her to an adoption place. Theyll find her a caretaker.” Moss seemed content with that. “As wong as sistah ib wubed.”
I take her back to her room. Millie looked at the mess. “Fwuffy nu wan wickie cweansies.” I pet Millie softly. “Ill handle it. Go rest, okay?” She nods and goes to her bed. It was late, so they had to sleep soon anyway.
When the others arent looking, i grab Daisy. I hold her mouth shut in case of any noises and run her along the shit stains, cleaning them up with her body. Muffled peeps could be heard, but her siblings were so used to it, they didnt wake. I brought her out the kitchen, cleaned her, and lay her on the counter. She sucks her hoof harshly, with small “huhuhu” noises being muffled, sounding more like “hmhmhngggnmm…”
I thought for a moment. How sensitive are they? Like- physically. Is there a difference in physical strength between sensitive and non sensitive? I wondered how the fuck all of her siblings didnt investigate that on their own when they got upset with her constant crying. Thinking back, in the moment, i remembered always hearing her peeping when i walked passed. It upset me, knowing shes so reliant. Im working on my anger, and im getting better, like how i pet Moss for a moment instead of lashing out right in front of all of them. Now, here i stood, burden in front of me.
In the moment, thinking about how the progress i made on managing my emotions. It feels little now. It wasnt as much progress as i thought it was. Im left here, wondering how these things annoy me so much, just by looking at them. Maybe its because theyre so messy. Or becsuse they dont shut up. Or their stupid dances. Or, maybe, simply because theyre a man-made mistake made to profit off of a kids show, now loose in the wild to fuck up our earth. Either way, something about these things angered me more than i thought, apon really thinking. I stare at the shit covered animal. I just stare at it for a second.
I look at my cutlery…
“… nah. I dont wanna hurt you yet.”
I put it in an old storage container with some food, until i knew what to do with it. Its still here, still ungodly fat, still crying. I didnt want to give her up. If i was pissed enough, and fucked up enough, i could use her.
The next while passes. It was a bad day yesterday. I managed to get fired fo no good reason. I told my boss my brother was getting married and i needed the day off to attend. Then, my boss fired me for taking a day off for non medical leave. No way thats legal, surely.
During the time Daisy was away, somehow, her hoof sucking and cries sounded louder. More harsh. She keeps crying too. I enter her room yesterday and look at her. She was adding to my already high anger.
“God, no matter what we do, you dont shut the fuck up, huh?” She peeps in shock. "Peep! Pii? Huhuhuuu…’ suck suck suck… “stop sucking that fucking hoof. Its somehow louder than your crying. It makes you look special too, and in a bad way. I cant have you making that noise anymore.” She looks up at me in confusion before… suck suck suck.
“Stop.” Sucksucksuck– “stop!” “PII!” I yank her hoof away from her mouth. Her lip quivers and she starts to cry. “Huhuhuuuu! Piii–” I take her by the nape. “Shut the FUCK up. Somehow all parts of you are louder than your siblings COMBINED. You never SHUT UP. Please. Just once in your life. SHUT YOUR TRAP.” Silence. Then, “PIII PIPIHUUUU…” more. Fucking crying. I slap her. “SHUT UP!” “PIIII!” SUCKSUCK-
SNAP. I snapped her sucking leg in half. Or- i meant to, anyway… I ended up ripping it off entirely. I was actually surprised for a second. “PIIIIIII EEE EEE EEE–” she cries. PHHPHTT– she shat. At least all the mess landed in the bucket… I bring her to my home office, holding my other hand under the dripping blood so it didnt get on my floor. I put her on some paper to lessen any mess. I grab my stapler and staple her muzzle shut. She pees and shits in distress. She tries to move her broken leg, whimpers, then moves her other leg, but whines when she cant shove it down her gob. I rip that leg too. “MHHHHHHH!” She whines. Even when stapled, she whines. More piss flies out. I then roll her over and notice two small bumps. She had teats, though very tiny from her stunted growth.
I got too curious.
I grab some pencil led and poke it in one nipple. “MHHMHMHMHMUHHH!” She started to flail her hind legs. I do the same to the other one. She lies there, body twitching from pain. How has she not passed out yet. Her ass pulsed, but nothing came out. Must be all emptied out.
I fold the paper and toss her out with it.
I felt like shit. Still do. But i… also thought it was helpful. Very conflicting feelings.
Edit, 30 minutes later: why do you want pics of her body? Whatever. Here. I think she died by now though…
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Out of character here… feeling a tiny bit better with how i wrote the fluffspeak here. But theres always room to improve, right?
Anyway, main character dude kinda went OFF. Maybe too… off. But ive seen worse for less LOL.