You Better Stay Away From Copperhead Road, by Swindle

the gun made it possible for him to do the crime

As opposed to a sword, machete, hatchet, knife, or jar of acid that seemingly every Muslim in the UK can get their hands on?

use a form of negotiation

How do you negotiate with someone who has broken into your home to rob, rape, and/or murder you? In the words of the good Captain Malcolm Reynolds: “If someone tries to kill you, kill them right back.”

call the cops

He’s running an illegal drug operation, and the story explicitly spells out that if he calls the cops, he’s going to prison.

it’s legal to shoot someone who is trespassing on your property and committing crimes there
this is archaic

In what universe? Do you have a policeman in your pocket who’s going to jump out and shake his finger at them and make them say, “shucks golly, mister, we sure are sorry for breaking into your house and stealing all your possessions, raping your sister, and beating your dog to death! We promise never to do it again! We’ve learned our lesson!”

legal murder

If it’s legal/justified, then by definition it isn’t murder.

killing tourists

lolwut

provoking someone then killing him when he sets foot on your property

Feel free to provide an example of this actually happening instead of in your imagination.

the reason white people aren’t so high up in gun crime statistics is because it’s legal for them to murder people

Or, hear me out on this, maybe they just don’t go around committing crimes? Because last I checked, nobody was selling a license for me to just shoot random black people. And funny how the European countries with the strictest gun laws have more shootings than the ones with the least strict gun laws (the UK saw violent crime, including gun crime, go up after banning guns, not down). Switzerland requires every adult male to own a military rifle and ammunition for it, yet Switzerland has one of the lowest violent crime rates in the world. Or do you believe the crime rates simply aren’t high because it’s legal for the Swiss to go around machine gunning tourists and cuckoo clock enthusiasts?

American courts are more eager to protect whites than minorities

I must have missed that during the 18 months of race riots and major criminal trials we just went through. Can you cite any examples of this happening?

your race chart

You mean the FBI’s recorded statistics on who commits what crimes?

reads like something from South Africa during apartheid

Actually, violent crime, especially rape and murder, went up significantly after apartheid was voluntarily ended in South Africa.

It’s like you don’t actually know anything about America, the law, history, or current events, but some nutjob on Twitter who gets paid to gaslight people for a living is your trusted source of information.

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You can blame that on me. It’s one of my pet peeves. A lot of people were posting stories where the word “poopies” was being autocorrected by their devices to the plant which produces opium.
In fact I made it into a joke, later on.

Oh, so YOU’RE the one!

Which is also the punchline to the joke “what’s the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?”

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PFFT ‘opium poopies’. That’s HILARIOUS.
There’s probably some humor to be had in a story about fluffies eating an entire poppy field and degenerate drug addicts trying to smoke fluffy shit to get high. And a lot of disgust. But also funny!

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Rolling foals in cocaine and igniting their fluff in a pipe is a thing; it’s called “riding the white pony”.

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Skipping the cocaine and just lighting a foal in either a pipe or a spoon is also a thing.

Yeah, but only one will actually get you high.

Normally I’d agree, but Artist-kun says otherwise. His stuff is actually the main source of “smoking foals” that I’ve seen, and apparently there’s something about chirpies in his ‘verse that gives them narcotic properties. Weird, huh?

Based on what? Wake the fuck up samurai it’s 2022 and believing this claim is laughable

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This is one of my favorites now.

Big talk coming from the dudes that lost two world wars

Oh lol, try something new. After three Generations + that’s not really doing it. Kek

Going to provide feedback as I read through.
End of 1st part: Oh boy, they fucked with his chickensfluffy coop. Screwing with his money, oh no… I’m getting McGonagall flashbacks.
LOL, that ‘poppy seed’ plan is as half-baked as those dudes. Seems in character, though. Oh cool, a hugboxer.
It’s actually true that certain people made way more money from their legit businesses, once investing their illicit profits. Even the 2nd Austin Powers movie made fun of this. Even funnier when you consider what US’s founding fathers were into back long before Kansas was a state, yet alone had prohibition.

“remove the batteries from their cell phones” Oh crap!

Anyways, thanks to @WolfysMagic0130 for the link. Came for the comments, but the story was nice to read, too. Comments not so good a read. YAWN

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