Doctor (Redacted) cackled.
“YES! YES! YEEEEESSSS!!! WITNESS THE BEAUTY OF MY CREATION!!!”
The unicorn fluffy babbled happily as he pushed a ball around the saferoom he was in.
“Teehee, wub baww! Wub wun and pway! Wub wubbing speciaw-wumps on See-Ee-Oh’s toothie-bwushie!”
The visiting FluffCorp executive sighed.
“It’s just a unicorn fluffy.”
“Yay! Baww-fwiend am su fun! Wub ignowing See-Dee-See guidewines on biohazawd stowage! Wub biowogicaw weapons! Pway wiff baww aww bwight-time!”
Doctor (Redacted) pouted.
“I created a unicorn fluffy with an indestructible horn! His name is Pointy.”
“Okay, that’s great, but what’s that actually get the company? And why is he saying all those weird things?”
“It seems like he’s just parroting things he’s heard me say.”
“Wait so-”
“Yes, I love that ball and would play with it all day if I could. I’m actually testing two things in that room, the ball contains a new type of explosive.”
“…what?”
Pointy then tripped and the ball he was playing with went skidding across the floor, rebounded off the wall, and hit Pointy’s horn with enough force to puncture the ball.
The explosion did no harm to Pointy. It did produce enough force to shoot his horn out the back of his head though, reducing it to a salsa-like consistency.
The horn kept it’s momentum, ending up crashing through the bulletproof glass and embedding itself in the wall next to the Doctor’s head, quivering.
Pointy’s headless corpse was sobbing.
“Huuhuu, nu hab hown nu mowe and habe wowstest head-huwties. Pwease gib huggies?”
Then it exploded.
…
Elsewhere:
The reporter shoved the microphone into Josef Mongola’s face.
“Mr. Mongola, what do you have to say about the allegations made against Crimson?”
Josef looked confused.
“I don’t know. Him raping, eating, and murdering fluffies (not necessarily in that order) seemed like a charming personality trait, but in hindsight it really should have been a red flag. I fully trust the allegations made by the light blue pegasus foal with the yellow mane about Crimson abusing him and you can quote me when I say I find what Crimson has been doing to fluffies hilarious.”
“‘Hilarious?’”
“Regardless of their age abusing fluffies will never not be funny. I’d abuse them if they were negative days old if I could. I just hate them so much. Ooh, look: Crimson’s slowly eating his accuser!”
“HEWP BESTEST BABBEH! NU AM NUMMIES!!!”
“If nu am nummies den wai am su pwetty-tasting tu Cwimson?”
…
Author’s note: Josef Mongola and Crimson belong to @BFM101