Fucking gums. Lee keeps chewing on literal rocks and I’m the one with receding gums. Hate dentists, I brush and brush and still I gotta see the fucks. Like the one here, Dr. Gloria NiCastro of Jolly Dental. Never been here before, the waiting room is empty, makes sense, only a lunatic like myself would sign on for an 8:30 appointment. Don’t see anyone behind the counter, must be by the shelves or in the back, guess I’ll walk up to see if I can wave them down. Nope, nobody. Probably still asleep at home like a normal person.
“Hewwo.”
I look around and see nothing, but then look towards the counter. It’s a pink unicorn. Its mane is sky blue with gray patches going through it. Strangely, it’s wearing a pair of eyeglasses.
“Uh, hi.”
It’s just staring at me, a bit curious but seems to be tired.
“Do ‘ou hab an appoyn-men?”
“Uh, yes. Tomas Jennings for 8:30.”
“Otay’. Wet Ewizabeff wook weal fast.”
It waddles over to the computer, and its oversized keyboard. It starts to punch in my name, very, very slowly.
“Toe-Mass Jennin’ fo’ eite an’ hawf bwite times. Pwease wait hewe. Ewizabeff wiww go teww dah doctow.”
It waddles down a ramp from the computer and towards a back door. It knocks on it with its hoof. It opens and who I assume to be Doctor Gloria is revealed.
“Mummah, nice mistah Jennin’ am hewe fo’ 'ou.”
She pets the fluffy and comes forward.
“Early riser, eh?”
“I guess you could say that.”
“Well, come on back and follow me. You’ll be in room two.”
I walk past as she picks up her fluffy and places it back on the counter, having it stare at appointment times. I enter room two and sit down and lay back. Dr. NiCastro enters shortly after.
“Alright Mr. Jennings, just lay back and relax as I get ready.”
I do just that as she puts on her face mask followed by her gloves. She tears open a bag of sterilized dental tools and places them on the table next to me.
“Would you like the sunglasses, or can you handle the light?”
“I’m good, thank you.”
She turns on the lamp and brings it in close, able to see every molar and bicuspid. She goes on to inspect every tooth and touches them up with her little pick. Time goes on and by the time the flossing is done, I lean over to spit in the sink. Finding it filled with blood. Fucking embarassing.
“Dat am a wot of boo-boo juice mistah jennin’.”
I turn around to see the fluffy in the doorway, watching me. Dr. NiCastro, shoos it away, as I wipe my face.
“So sorry about that, I’ve told her over and over again to just stay at the computer.”
“S’all right, pretty intelligent for a fluffy, able to read and type I mean. How old is it?”
“She’s six next tuesday, was thinking of grabbing take out for her. You know, the classic big bowl of spaghetti.”
“I was gonna say, you really don’t see many grayfluffs in the wild.”
“She was a gift from my parents when I got my Bachelor’s. Raised her from a foal, taught her to read, unicorn’s are more perceptive to education from what I’ve read. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten DDS without her.”
I’m not going to mention how I helped write the paper that proved possible intelligence and training in unicorns. Not gonna geek out and show my ass right. She takes off her gloves and pulls down the mask.
“You were right, your gums have begun to recede. It is minor at the moment, but if left unchecked, it could get worse to the point of requiring dentures or gingivoplasty. For now, just keep brushing and please floss, it’s the best you can do. Elizabeth will see you at the front to schedule your next appointment.”
“Alright, thank you very much doctor.”
I head out the door and back to the counter to find the fluffy asleep on the job, napping on the mousepad.
“Ahem.”
It wakes up groggily.
“Oh, am sowwy, ewizabeff nu get enough sweepies wastes’ dawk time. Wat can ewizabeff do fo’ 'ou?”
“Need to schedule another appointment with Dr. NiCastro in six months.”
“Otay’. Wet ewizabeff see.”
It begins to scroll through the timetable until it finds an open block.
“Wiww nine bwite times be gud?”
“That’d be perfect.”
It grabs a business card within its teeth and waddles over, putting it in its hoofs to hand to me. Taking it, and wiping it off, it’s for the office and on the back, a very crudely written date for my appointment. I turn and grab my coat off the hanger, heading out the door.
“Hab bestest day.”
I close the door behind me and start my walk home. Will definitely need to bring this up to Lee, see if in the future we can start some sort of fluffies in a simulated workplace experiment. It could lead to making these things at least productive to society and change extermination statutes. Who can tell?
its cute. And knows to read too.