Tryed to make this look like a greentext failed misirably
Be me
Be Guardsman fighting chaos
fml.vox
see cultists running into a building
ohemperorproctectmefrominquisitorialwrath.Emperorprotects
shoot as many as I can but they still make it into a building
fuuuuuuuck I am so screwed
in more ways than one since they’re slaaneshies
dear Emperor help me /tg/ I don’t want to die
be me
be cultist of slaanesh
get called into a building
we’re going to make a warp portal
awwyes.heresy
go in start getting the portal ready
this party gonna siiick
be me again
purple light eminates from the building
fuckfuckfuck.Imscrewed
find a plasma gun
awwyes.vox
open fire on that heretical building
I hope I at least killed a few /tg/
be slaaneshi cultist again
oh Gods no they killed harry
whhhyyyy he was one of the cool ones
well at least the summonning is complete
…
…
…
what the fuck is this
I mean I guess they’re vibrant but why did slaanesh send us these
oh well they’ll probably help us
some of them have started fucking
what.darkgods
well this gives some kind of explination at least
be Black Templar knight
Seargent Domilius specifically
moving on from purging another furry planet
get a call about a heretic filled planet being fought on by the guard
wellcallmesuprised.holyseal
would’ve thought they had fled by now
oh well might aswell help
Astropathsetacourse.emperor
Be guardsman again
listen for the enemy from the building
comisar order that I relinquished my plasma gun
fml.imperium
oh well at least I don’t have to go in there
here something sounded something like “good files” in a high pitched voice
wtfdidthatmean.dontshootmecomisarpleaseno
well shit what do I do now
be that fucking cultist again
why did we do this
and one of them just yelled “good feels”
fuckthis.warp
I might just leave now
idea, encorage them to leave
they do
thankthegods.heretic
more arrive through the summoning pit as they leave
wellthisisgettinginteresting.slaanesh
well time to usher them out
be me
be Planitarial Govenor of Backwaterus Maximus
Guard/PDF is losing on almost every front on planet
barring on the outskirts of a city where we have advanced aproximately 4 strides
thanktheemperor.fat
well time for me to take credit from Guard for this and deny being the reason why my PDF is failing
just because they only ever marched and had no training as per my request doesn’t mean its my fault
well time to get back to eating now
be the Guardsmen again
what the fuck the they summon?
Multicoloured miniatures horeses
wtf.vox
I may be the three hundred and thirty eighth in my family but we have never seen anything like this
shoot them with my LAS gun
they scatter
I’m screwed aren’t I /tg/?
be the fucking cultist again
someone just shot them and now they’ve scattered
the three that were missed
godsdamnyou.chaos
try to calm them down
they calm now
would attack the guardsmen but no gun
be Brother domilus again
2 minutes until we dewarp
getting ready to drop with brothers
they really want to purge now as do I but we must wait
tell them it will probaly be worth the wait
chainswords rev up in the drop pod
HURRYTHEFUCKUPANDGETTHEREALREADY.PURGE
be fwuffy
Fwuffies namsie am viwgiwl
hab speshuwl fwend
dem namsie am Mawakasayawun
gonna hab suu many speshuwl huggies an guud feews
day am gonna be da bestest mummah o’ aww da mawes!
“SCWEEEEE, NUUU!!!”
meanie hoomin twy tuu gib foweba sweepies, speshul fwen’ an’ me wun ‘way
wun into empty gway houwsie
soon mummah speshul fwen’ gonna hab babbies soon
su many heawt happies
be the guardsman yet again
too many of the fuckers have escaped
gonnagetexacuted.fucked
Idea.emperor
I will charge in kill the cultists and destroy the warp gate
Run towards it after reloading
kill all the cultists
about to through a melta bomb I got when I here a screaching
be the cultist
be dead
this is not the end of my tale just you wait!
I AM BROTHER DOMILUS AND I AM THE EMPERORS FURY
me and my brothers have just launched from the ship
Most others have gone to the areas where they are lossing we are descending to where they are winning
smash into a building
feels like chaotic influence has colapsed as we crash to the ground
doors open and a Guardsmen is just standing infront of us
be the Guardsman
just stare at the emperors angels of death for a few seconds
dontkeepthemwaiting.fuckfuckfuck
yell “Follow me” and run towards the enemy
at least they won’t shoot me as a traitor
be brother domilus
the guardsman just stares at us
then he yells follow me and starts running
clearly wasn’t expecting us
follow him towards the enemy
he declares if your see tiny multi-coloured rats to kill them
why?
tells us they are slaaneshi in nature
he sees a group and starts shooting
its not even a skirmish its a massacre
and I love to participate in a massacre.
be comisariate claus
still have the plasma gun I confiscated of the guardsman
he’s trying to storm a summoning house by himself
he will die
suddenly the emperors blessing arrives
space marrines
he leads the marines
what.exution
order my men to charge
I will NOT be upstaged by a mear Guardsman
I use the plasma gun
it feels good to use
be the cultist
get resurected as a daemonette
ok
waitIwasmale.FUCK
first I must hide then crawl out then hide again
well at least this gives me time to contemplate things
I think I’ll go after the Planitary govenor first
well this is not how you thought your day would go now is it Lucas
Be the guardsman
feel like I need a name
how about Caligula
yeah that seems right
now for a last name
Advantas sounds right
be the guardsman Caligula Advantas
currently working with the space marine squad
cultists abandend the city
time to go rat hunting
be aproached by comisar
fuck fuck fuck I am so dead
he asks what we’re about to do
declare we are going hunting for slaaneshi spawn
say he should get the rest of the men to form a perimiter
he agrees
inform him if he sees men with tiny multi-coloured horses like the ones over there but without the damage and living to shoot them for heresy
He understands and orders me and the space marines to just go hunting
be brothers Melowus and Dramaticus
apparentally we are now hunting those slaaneshi daemons
amazing
they aren’t even satisfying to kill
and also the comisariate believes the guardsman is in charge of us
the squad leader is brother Domilus
however the guardsman is fammiliar with the area so we will not argue
he appologises as we move on
be fwuffy
viwgiwl am suu happies famiwy am su biggies
had su many enfies wiff speciaw fwend
su many babbies
day am nao big an’ stwong fwuffies nao tu
day am having su many speciaw huggies
hewd am su biggies now
hab su many fwuffies nao take many fwoors
be brother Domilus
we are following the Guardsman
he said we should clear this place out one building at a time
we go to the tower building near the building that has our drop pod landed in
time to clear it out
…
…
…
Holy Emperor
…
We might not have enough ammo
be viwgiwl
SWREEE BIGGES’ HUWWIES
be Mawakasayawun
BIGGESS POOOPIE—
SWREEE BWUNIE HUWTYES
be Caligula AdVantas
just finnished clearing out the building
we are almost out of ammo
we also almost lost one of the space marines: brother Colluminimus I believe
almost drowned in them
Domilus has decread with a heavy heart that there will be no more melee
it has been a heavy hit to morale
that was until I said we need to move on imediately and to call for more ammo to be dropped off so we will probably have to resort to long range melee
essentially hit them at the longest range of the sword
this raised morale but barely so
Be Deamonette Lucas
while they were busy in that building I snuck away to behind the lines
just 300 Imperial Kilometers to go
be brother Colluminimus
I almost died in the first building
in most others they were either empty or had virtually no infestation
onto number 37
be Domilus
we almost took losses in that last one
I have ordered to wait for more ammo and to rest up
we CANNOT risk losing a space marine to these menaces
{sigh} oh well time to keep working
be Deamonette Lucas
created a new portal to summon more of these creatures
find a pink and purple one with the mark of Slaanesh
I take it with me
I am happy
be comisariate claus
we’ve dug some trenches and deffending those
only had to execute one man for heresy so far
WEarenothertics.execution
see something in the distance
I ready my plama gun and yell “Ready for counter attack!”
be me
be tau
a gue’la world is at war with it self
pathetic.greatergood
well /tg/ time to go introduce the planet to the greater good
be Caligula
Emperor damn it we’ve been at this for far too long we’re halfway through clearing out a building when we hear the commisar yelling about a counter attack
tell the space marines that the longer we focus on fighting the enemy the more time these things have to breed
we must finnish them off now