AN: This is a break from the regular stories I post, but still is a story under the Bestest Sickies series. Enjoy!
“I’m Dr. Harriet Roseman, part-time fluffy abuser and researcher. Today’s subject is FV-0446, a virus that’s about 4 weeks old in human weeks, but has reached viral maturity. Subject, if viewed under an electron microscope appears a blueish-green with light-blue surface proteins. FV-0446, please speak for everyone.” You direct, pointing the camera at the tube it’s in.
“Hewwo? Oh, it’s a camewa. Hewwo! Namesie am Eff-vee-zewo-fowr-fouw-siks.” It responds, swishing the liquid in its tube.
“Subject can recognize basic household objects, like cameras. FV-0446, what’s this?” You say, holding up a picture of a lamp.
“That am wight-fing.” It replies, coming up to the glass to see it better.
“Subject has different names for these objects, though. Subject was made with both viral and fluffy-originating genetic material, hence the fluff-speak. FV-0446, where did you come from?” You question, scooting the camera closer to the tube it’s in.
“Ou say Eff-vee-zewo-fouw-fouw-siks made in a… wabtowatowy. Dat mean Eff-vee-zewo-fouw-fouw-siks am a… a… bi… bio-somefing.” It stutters, again moving the liquid in its tube around.
“Subject has no idea what Fluffies really are, except just a place to make more of itself despite being in more than several of them by now. Most of its ideas on Fluffies were given to it by me. FV-0446, what are Fluffies?” You ask calmly, scooting your chair closer to listen.
“Fwuffies? Mom-mee say Fwuffies am stupi’ shitwats.” It exacts.
“Well, yes. Subject is very trusting of its caretakers, and will believe just about anything we say. FV-0446, did you know two plus two is five?” You lie, patting its tube gently.
“Weawwy? Eff-vee-zewo-fouw-fouw-siks not know dat! Mom-mee su smawt!” It gasps, relishing in the newfound information.
“Good job! Now that you did the interview, it’s time to get you a new “housie-friend”! Here we go.” You say, picking up its tube and grabbing a fluffy.
“Nu wan! Nu wan sickies!” The fluffy yelps, kicking you slightly as it gets picked up.
“Nu wan sickie-dwinkies!” It protests, attempting to keep its mouth closed.
“I don’t care! Drink it, now!” You demand, forcing its mouth open and keeping it open with your hands, digging into the roof of its mouth with your new long nails until it bleeds.
“Huwties! Wai huwt fwuffy?” It screams, muffled by your hands in its mouth.
You pour the contents of the tube in the fluffy’s mouth, force it to swallow it, and call it a day. You really are a great interviewer, huh?