“Oh man, I remember the Puffygriffon Project, that was Bill’s baby from day one, wasn’t it?” One of the two men in shadow, voices altered, says.
“Oh yeah, he was insistent that the things had to have souls this time. So we had to fly in Magician-Scientists from some Mideast shithole, what was it?”
“Albania, dude. And they were Sufi mystics.”
“Right right. They were going on about closeness to God and how we had to undergo very strict yet bizzare regimins of behavior - which involved a shocking amount of alcohol, especially for Muslims. We were drunk and spinning and -”
“And I puked so much, in that moment I think I saw God. Don’t think he was too happy to see me, but there you have it. The whole idea was that to invest a being with a soul, you had to get as close to god as you can. I don’t remember the specifics, but Bill was happy with the final results.”
“And you never drank again.”
“To this damn day, never again. Thinking about it still makes my eyeballs water. Anyway, we had to work through the Hasbio Bankruptcy and Bill bailing out with the Puffygriffon info and prototypes.”
“You know they don’t enjoy fluffies above all else as food? Bill drilled it into them that how humanity would react to them depended entirely on how good they were at catching fluffies, everything else their genetic code and souls would handle.”
“Bastards are like Maine Coons with wings. No real flight, but goddamn they can glide or hover well. Friendly without getting too “stuck” on any person, long lifespans and low reproduction rates.”
When we come back, we’ll show you how a Puffygriffon kitten becomes a fledgeling, next on When Puffygriffons Attack! Only on FluffTV!