Armitage labs: experiment #003 (Poopiest_of_bebbehs)

Henry Gascoigne is the head researcher at Armitage labs, a private research institute funded by infamous billionaire and narcissist, Daniel Hues Armitage III. Henry has all the funding he could ever need and he made bloody good use of it.

It was quite often that Mr Armitage would request that Henry and his think tank provide their genius towards a medication or therapy that Mr Armitage could then pedal to a desperate and gullible market and the extremely predatory pharmaceutical industry that was more than happy to work with him. However whenever Mr Armitage was too busy with one of his hundreds of other methods of squeezing money out of the world or using one of his charities to bolster his image on social media, Henry and his crew were left their own devices with all the funding and none of the time constraints… Those were the days Henry lived for.

Bioengineering is an art form as far as Henry was concerned and he knew that his skills were borderline unmatched. He had wasted some of the best years of his life working for hasbio on the godforsaken “project fluff”. He despised fluffies on a personal level and probably had more reason to than anyone else on the planet, not just because he blamed them for the collapse of hasbio as a company and losing him a multi-million dollar contract, no of course not. After all he was one of the original team of fifty six brilliant minds behind the achievement that was the original fluffy species. No, he hated them for what they could have been if hasbio were more interested in creating worthy life, a true successor to the household furry companion, instead of the world’s first screeming, bleeding, fucking and crying teddy bear.

Henry had already attempted two interesting experiments during down time that involved rewriting the pre written neurological biocode of fluffies during the fetal stage or for lack of a better word… their “programming”. Unfortunately, due to several historic terrorist attacks on hasbio’s labs by eco activists and animal welfare groups, the fires that resulted in the plague of incomplete, borderline prototype fluffies being released into the ecosystem had also destroyed the servers and samples that held the source code for the creatures. A scientific tragedy that has caused Henry to have to spend years of his life reverse engineering his own creations to get to the core of their minds and rewrite them how he sees fit.


Experiment #001 was an incredible success.
The attempt in question was to create a carnivorous fluffy that would exclusively hunt for and consume the flesh of fluffies as a method of culling the population. 001 was an orange earthie type mare with a black mane and tail, whose neural pathways were redesigned while she gestated inside of an artificial womb, the aim was to force her to cognitively and instinctively reject food that was not the flesh of other fluffies. The test subject’s brain would release dopamine at exceptionally high levels when the consumption of fluffy flesh was achieved, a smaller dopamine response would also be released upon capture and damage being done to another fluffy. The fact that she was such a simple test made the chance of success very high and so after her creation, many more of her sub category were created, spayed and neutered, then released into the wild to begin culling the population.

001 exhibited traits of aggression and cruelty, as much of the data revolving around social interactions had been expunged from her mind due to the rewiring of her neural pathways. She had a much higher capacity for learning new skills such as but not limited to: coercion, manipulation, methods of torture, stealth, tracking, voice mimicking and hunting.

Test results:

When released into testing room A-1 alongside a target, 001 would perfectly mimic sympathy and appropriate fluffy behaviour to trigger a positive response in her target. 001 would then lead targets to a nearby water bowl and offer them refreshment before attempting to drown them. If the target refused then she would offer to play with them via “huggie-tag”. As the target would turn away to run, 001 would pounce upon, mount and then paralyse her target with a sharp bite to the vertebrae. She would then begin to eat the target’s “tummy sketti” as it was still alive.

001 also showed signs of self modification via scraping her teeth at an angle against flat surfaces and using the bars of her cage as a file to sharpen them, giving her a more predatory set. Her eyes, as a result of her diet not being nutritionally balanced for a fluffy, has taken on a yellow tinge across the entire sclera, a possible sign of impending terminal liver failure.


Experiment #002 by contrast was an abject failure when compared to his forbearer. The attempt was to create a fluffy with a heightened ability to detect danger via an increase in fear and stress related hormone releases at a factor of ten to fifteen. The end result was to create a fluffy that was capable of protecting itself with a high enough cortisol and adrenaline release to offset its curious and naive nature.

A green pegasus type stallion with a blue mane and tail was the first and only of this experimental run. Like 001, 002 was edited in an artificial womb from inception and was subject to a full remapping of the amygdala, Hippocampus and hypothalamus, resulting in the regions growing in size and density by an impressive 37%. A noted side effect was a 17% decrease in both size an neural density of all other regions.

Test results:

002 was released into test room A-2 and was made witness to images that were pre rendered as cognito engrams in his memory banks by the research team during the fetal stage, such as: cars, water bowls, fluffies with angry or unwelcoming expressions, dogs, cats, fireworks, firearms, trains and various forms of wildlife.

002 would begin screaming and voiding its bowels before pawing at the door and begging to be released. This test would be ran an exact number of one hundred times, like all other tests ran at Armitage labs, as to be sure of quality data and to sus out variables and anomalous findings.

002 would then be subject to multiple forms of physical abuse in a controlled environment: from whippings with an AbuseCo branded SorryStick™, hypercondunctive pins ran through its wings and being made to walk through a confined metallic tube that ran with an electrical current equal to that of a set of AA batteries, to being made to sit in a light and audio deprivation chamber for 48 hours.

002 developed an obsessive fear response as expected and would continually cry and whimper both during testing hours and when confined to its cage. As a final attempt by professor Gascoigne to trigger a stimulus response other than terror, subject 001 was released into testing room A-2 with 002 as to study both reactions.

001 would speak softly and circle 002 and would later show confusion at 002’s lack of response to audible and visual stimuli. Upon 001 touching 002 softly with its hood, 002 began to coo quietly in between sobs. 001 would continue to sit with and groom 002, regardless of if an opportunity to strike a killing blow presented itself.

002 had developed a deep phobia of water, as opposed to the intended consequence of heightened caution, as to avoid the infamous “fluffies always drown” glitch in the original model’s programming. 001 had quickly caught on to this phobia and would encourage 002 to drink. When 002 refused and whimpered in between bouts of saying how “wawa” was “hewtie”, 001 would walk towards the bowl, lap up a mouthful of water, return to 002 and directly deposit the liquid into his open mouth. 002 would drink the provided liquid with very little fear so long as 001 provided it orally while also providing physical touch.

More experiments were ordered and played out as expected from the side of 001. 002 was made to watch how 001 stalked, manipulated and killed other fluffies from a one way glass window. After 001 had completed her kill she would be reintroduced into 002’s cell, where to the surprise of all researchers present, 002 had not modified in fear response whatsoever to 001 and continued to coo softly as she provided 002 with “wickie kissies”, “huggies”, nuzzling and mouthfuls of water (now tainted with the blood of 001’s recent kill).

Final test before termination was the deprivation and isolation of 002 by removal of 001. Researchers were informed to tell 002 that 001 had gone “foweva sweepies”. 002 was unaware of what “foweva sweepies” were and upon clarification began to scream incessantly and strike its head against the walls of its cell during testing hours and its cage during downtime, all the while declaring that it wanted to die. Researchers declared 002 a failure at 0800 hours on January 21s 2024 before disposing of the still living specimen inside of an appropriate biological waste bin.

A day later subject 001 was made aware of 002’s disposal and immediately begin to mimic 002’s suicidal behavior. Weather or not this was a true emotional response or simply a tantrum, 001 refused to participate in any tests from then forward and was declared a failure at 1400 on January the 23rd 2024 due to emotional instability. Subject 001 was then placed in the same biological waste bin, after having a tracking chip placed under the scruff of her neck by professor Gascoigne.


Experiment #003 was a new line of thinking for professor Gascoigne. With nearly 70% of the fluffy biocode reverse engineered after the events of 001 and 002, professor Gascoigne had taken to more extreme measures with his newfound creative freedom.

003 was a white unicorn stallion male with a lavender tail, mane and a birthmark under it’s left eye socket in the shape of a tear drop. The goal of 003, as stated by the professor was to undo as much of the programming provided by hasbio as humanly possible, the end result was intended to be a completely blank slate that would allow for the subject’s personality to develop independently and unimpeded by any preconceived engrams. Language was one of the few things so deeply ingrained into the programming that it could not be altered and so the “fluff speak” would be retained. However subject 003 exhibited no knowledge whatsoever of what a fluffy was, what “sketties” were, what a “mammah” or a “daddeh” was, among all other pre programmed information that was common in the standard model.

Upon IQ, response time and psychological testing, it was discovered that subject 003 had the intelligence, maturity and problem solving skills of a nine year old human child, as apposed to the average fluffy who’s intelligence, problem solving skills and maturity ranged from 4 to 6, based upon breeding quality, subspecies, sex and type.

Test results:

When asked, 003 would do as commanded with very little pushback, with the exception of 003 continually asking questions to the point of aggravating junior staff. 003 would also attempt to solve problems from stacking rings, jigsaw puzzles intended for ages 3-6, preschool to first year primary school level math problems and was capable of reading basic words from the children’s illustrated books that were provided. 003 has developed favoritism towards books by the author Roald Dahl, noting the “nice an wuvery pictews” and would frequently request these reading materials during downtime in 003’s personal sleeping cage, along with a night light with which to read. Researchers are considering 003’s proposal on the condition that 003 continues to maintain good decorum and obedience going forward.

003 also exhibited a much higher capacity for long-term memory and facial recognition. 003 would often watch very closely as researchers moved around the laboratory and his testing chamber, and was noted to be seen peaking at what researchers were writing on his medical clipboard and their research notes. Whether or not 003 understands what is being written about him or can make sense of his situation is unknown and any attempt to gain insight via questioning could potentially clue 003 in on the fact that he is a test subject and could potentially void future experiments involving 003.

Professor Gascoigne has requested that further experimentation be done on subject 003 involving the introduction of stimuli involving other fluffies of the standard variety.

Acquisition of test subjects for 003’s stimuli test are pending as new test subjects are on route from Deacon farms. Tests will begin shortly after arrival.

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Here is the backstory for ZeewoZeewoWun and Wan Die from the epic of the Poopie Smarty storyline, as well as the introduction of a new fluffy who i intend to write more about in the future. By fluffy standards, 003 is the Sir Isaac Newton of his time and i look forward to writing about him further as he slowly becomes aware of how incredibly screwed his existence is.

I hope you enjoy and as always i appreciate feedback.

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They really did Wan Die dirty.

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Wan die must be deep his mind, weighing up his pros and cons on life like: “on one hand, I am in a constant state of misery, fear and torture… but on the other hand i got a loving goth wife who mouth feeds me.”

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The goth wife is a huge plus.

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