This was originally posted to news websites in timeline #00347-FAF mid-November 2080, during the 25th Anniversary remembrances of the NAFTA II treaty that helped pave the way for reuniting the EUSA and WUSA on July 4, 2076. It was reposted to Fluffybooru in mid-November 2018, by timeline terrorists, and is reposted here to preserve the historical record. Events described here are not necessarily going to happen in your timeline.
Editor’s note: this is the last of the FluffiesAreFood columns from Volume 1. We will commence with reposting Volume II tomorrow.
ASK FLUFFIESAREFOOD
Volume 1 Number 49
Happy Friday Fluffherders! Thanksgiving is not far away, and by now you should be switching up your fattening feed mix to include a heavier mix of dried fruit. Normally this wouldn’t be good for your little meat fluffs, but they’re not going to live past Thanksgiving, so it doesn’t really matter if their blood sugar is elevated.
Today is also the 25th anniversary of the signing of NAFTA II, the free trade agreement that helped re-establish economic ties between the major North American powers. In celebration of that day, the dignitaries were served a dish mixing the old elements of the new world with the new: fluffy tamales.
The tamal is a staple food of the American diet going back to 7000 BC. The basics of the tamale remain the same over the millennia: a pastry of masa or starchy corn-based dough, often with some kind of filling, is wrapped in banana leaves or corn husks and cooked over steam or a grill. On the other hand, the fluffy had only become the most important meat animal in North America in the previous quarter-century. Combining these two helped to make a powerful statement about the American past, and the American future.
In the years that followed, fluffy tamales became a staple of Mexican and Texan eating. In EUSA they became a delicacy for the wealthy and powerful. In those feasts the fluffies were sacrificed to the Mesoamerican gods in sadistic rituals that ended with the still-barely-living fluffy having its still-beating heart cut out. The heart meat would of course be fed to the guest of honor, and the fluffies’ copious tears would be used to make ice cream for the meal’s desert.
Today we share this recipe as a celebration of the uniquely American tamale and the just as uniquely American fluffy. This recipe is good for four servings of 2 tamales each. However, tamales are a traditional “event” food, and you will probably want to multiply this recipe quite a bit in order to feed a crowd!
FLUFFY TAMALES
INGREDIENTS
2 pounds fluffy meat - rib meat is best, but you can use a side of fluffy as well. (If you want to multiply this recipe by four, you can use the meat from an entire adult fluffy!)
Salt and pepper
2 onions, peeled and sliced
1 garlic bulb, cloves removed and peeled
4 ounces dried New Mexico chilies
2 ounces ancho chiles
2 ounces pasilla chiles
2 tablespoons cumin seed, toasted
1 tablespoons salt
2 bags dried corn husks, about 3 dozen
4 cups masa mix
1 tablespoon baking powder
2 teaspoons salt
4 cups reserved fluffy broth, warm
1 cup fluffy tallow or vegetable shortening
DIRECTIONS
First we cook the meat. Season the fluffy meat all over with salt and pepper, then brown in a large heavy pot over medium heat. Once browned on all sides, add enough water to cover the meat along with the 1 sliced onion and about 6 cloves of garlic. Cook until the meat is fork tender and comes apart with no resistance, about 2 hours. When done, remove the meat to a platter to cool, and reserve the fluffy broth. Hand shred the meat and set aside.
Now we will prepare the sauce. Cut the dried chilies in half lengthwise and remove the seeds. Place the chilies in a large stockpot and cover them with water. Add the cumin, remaining sliced onion and garlic. Boil for 20 minutes until the chilies are very soft. Transfer the chilies to a blender using tongs and add a ladle full of the chile water (it is best to do this in batches.) Puree the chilies until smooth. Pass the pureed chilies through a strainer to remove the remaining seeds and skins. Pour the chili sauce into a large bowl and add salt, stir to incorporate. Taste to check seasonings, add more if necessary. Add the shredded fluffy to the bowl of chili sauce, and mix thoroughly. Refrigerate until ready to use.
Go through the dried corn husks, separate them and discard the silk, be careful since the husks are fragile when dry. Soak them in a sink filled with warm water for 30 minutes to soften.
In a deep bowl, combine the masa, baking powder, and salt. Pour the fluffy broth into the masa a little at a time, working it in with your fingers. In a small bowl, beat the tallow until it is light and airy. Add it to the masa and beat until the dough has a spongy texture. Ideally, the dough should not stick too much to your hands. If it sticks to your hands, it will stick to the corn husks!
Rinse, drain, and dry the corn husks. Set them out on a sheet pan covered by a damp towel along with the bowls of masa dough and fluffy-chili mix. Start with the largest husks because they are easier to roll. Lay the husk flat on a plate or in your hand with the smooth side up and the narrow end facing you. Spread a thin, even layer of masa over the surface of the husk with a tablespoon dipped in water. Do not use too much! Add about 2-4 tablespoons of the meat filling in the center of the masa. Fold the narrow end up to the center then fold both sides together to enclose the filling. The sticky masa will form a seal. Pinch the wide top closed.
Stand the tamales up in a large steamer or colander with the pinched end up. Load the steamer into a large pot filled with 2-inches of water. The water should not touch the tamales. Lay a damp cloth over the tamales and cover with lid. Keep the water at a low boil, checking periodically to make sure the water doesn’t boil away. Steam the tamales for 2 hours.
The tamales are done when the inside pulls away from the husk. The tamale should be soft, firm and not mushy.
Suggested accompaniment: black beans, shredded salad with no dressing, lager.
Ask FluffiesAreFood is a service of the Fluffherders’ Association of America. If you have a question about raising, slaughtering, or eating of fluffies, you may comment here.