Bad Fluffy Names 4 [by Maple]

You are Lizard, and you are having a bad day.

You found a hole in the fence in your back yard and decided to do a little exploring while your daddy was at school and now you can’t find your way back home! What’s worse, a meanie lady you ran into dumped some not pretty smelling goo on you, and it turned your pretty green fluff brown! And then she took your collar and wouldn’t give it back! Why would she do that? You asked her, but she just laughed and walked away. You tried to roll in a gross puddle to get rid of the goo, but the smell still lingered, harsh chemicals mixed with the rank scent of garbage juice leaking from one of the dumpsters.

You plopped yourself down by the entrance to an alleyway. You should have stayed in your yard, listened to your daddy. Now how were you going to get home? An ache spread through your chest as you hung your head. You were never going to get home.

“Fwuffy am wost!” You sobbed. “Wost foebah!”

“Did you say you were lost, little guy?” A nice lady bent down to talk to you. She had short brown hair, and she was smiling. A kind smile, not the mean smile of the meanie lady.

“Yus, nice wady, Wizawd am wost, nee to find daddeh!” You replied.

“Well, I own a fluffy shelter, why don’t you come with me and we can find your daddy together?” She held out a hand to you. She seemed like a nice lady, like your daddy’s momma, and she had pretty painted nails like her too!

“Otay. Wizawd go with nice wady, find daddeh.” You held out your hooves as she picked you up.

“Yeesh, what’s all over you? You smell terrible!” The nice lady wrinkled her nose.

“Meanie wady put nu smeww pretty goo on Wizawd!”

“Huh.” She replied, looking you over. “Maybe she was trying to bleach you or something? Smells like peroxide.” You didn’t know what any of those words meant, you were too busy enjoying being held. You snuggled into her shirt as she walked and walked, it felt so wonderful to have human comfort again!

Eventually the nice lady took you into a building and set you down on a table. “Let’s get you all checked in, okay buddy?”

“Otay, but fwuffy nu am Buddy, fwuffy am Wizawd!” You corrected.

“Wizard, that’s a fun name!”

“Nu, name am Wizawd.”

“That’s what I said, Wizard.”

“Nu, nice wady, name am WI-zawd.”

She frowned at you. “Thats what I said.” You opened your mouth to protest again, but she looked angry so you decided to let it go. When you found your daddy he would tell the lady that your name is Lizard, not Wizard.

The nice lady brought you to a big room and put you in a not-sorry box. It felt like a sorry box, but unlike your sorry box at home it had a metal grate at the front. She set the box in her “office” and said she would be back after she did some “paperwork”. You didn’t know either of those words. Humans are weird. You just sat in the box with your nose pressed to the grate. You hoped the lady would find your daddy soon, you smelled bad and missed your toys. It was the time of day you usually spent napping in the afternoon sun, waiting for your daddy to get home. You laid on your side, thoughts of warm sunbeams and soft blankets filling your mind. Maybe daddeh would be here when you woke up, you thought as your eyes fluttered shut.

“I’m looking for my fluffy, have you picked any up today?” A voice woke you from your nap, a familiar voice. You scrambled to your feet, pressing your ear against the grate to hear better.

“A few, can you give me a description?” You could hear the nice lady that picked you up talking.

“His name is Lizard, he’s green with a yellow mane, blue collar.” Your heart fluttered in your chest as you heard your daddy describe you. He was here! The nice lady found him!

“Ooh, sorry, no.” The nice lady replied. What? No, you were right here! “We picked up a few mares, but the only stallion we picked up is solid brown. I’m really sorry, I’ll keep an eye out.” No! No!!

“DADDEEEEEHHH!” You cried, shoving your hooves between the bars of the not-sorry box. “FWUFFY AM HEWE! DADDEH NU WEAVE WIFOUT WIZAWD!”

“Damn.” You daddeh sounded so sad. “Here’s my number, let me know if you see him. I’ve got a few more shelters to check.” He couldn’t hear you. You sank to the bottom of the box, sobbing.

“I will.” The nice lady replied. “I don’t think I’m going out again today though, as you can hear I’ve got my hands full here!”

You listened to your daddeh walk out, and the door shut behind him. The lady came back into the “office” while you cried into your hooves. “I know it’s hard buddy, but he was looking for a different fluffy.” She opened the box and set her hand on your stinky brown mane. “But we’ll keep looking, and if we don’t find him we’ll find you a new daddeh, okay Wizard?”

You just cried harder.


Yeah, I really don’t get actually caring owners who give their fluffies names that have letters fluffies can’t pronounce in them.


Quick! Put your name in the title before the owl kills you!


Okay, shelter lady, that one’s on you. You’re the dumdum here.



Ganon - You Must Die! Green Screen 0-5 screenshot


Thankyou, I will try not to be a dingus next time.


You know, this would have probably not been an issue if they’d chipped the fluffy. ~chuckle~


Lol dumbass

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